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1
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:12,574
# You must remember this
2
00:00:12,660 --> 00:00:15,333
# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:18,332
# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:24,449
# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
6
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Why anyone should pack an anvil for
a weekend in the country, I don't know.
7
00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:40,418
You've been muttering all morning.
What is it now?
8
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:44,334
- You can't wear all this stuff in two days.
- I thought I heard "anvil".
9
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,536
Or will you change every 20 minutes?
10
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:48,451
It's called planning ahead.
11
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:53,295
If we're using this house on weekends,
I'm packing a few things to keep there.
12
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:57,134
- Oh.
- So let's leave "anvil" out of things.
13
00:00:57,220 --> 00:01:01,054
- We're ready to go now, are we?
- Just a few more bits and bobs.
14
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,574
The kitchen sink, presumably.
15
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:05,093
I heard that.
16
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:08,570
- Haven't you gone yet?
- No.
17
00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:11,174
You said you were setting off first thing.
18
00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:15,731
- I was in a mood of wild optimism.
- You are just going for the weekend?
19
00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:19,096
- If we ever go at all.
- The backseat's full as well.
20
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,011
Just as well you bought a big car.
21
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,614
I'm going to trade it in
for a pantechnicon.
22
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:27,454
- Shall we stay out for a bit?
- My thoughts exactly.
23
00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:31,773
Have you got a spanner?
24
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:35,170
- Why do you want a spanner?
- To unscrew the kitchen sink.
25
00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,615
You're taking rather a lot, that's all.
26
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,816
- That's the lot.
- Good.
27
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,494
- Why are we taking food?
- To eat.
28
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,298
Mrs Bale said she'd get food in.
29
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:46,689
But when people say they'll get food in,
30
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:49,340
you never can be sure
what kind of food.
31
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:53,208
I hardly think she'll have packed
the fridge with rhinoceros steaks.
32
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,860
What if she'd forgotten
the custard tarts?
33
00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:57,168
- Ah.
- Ah!
34
00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:59,774
Can we get these into the car
and be on our way?
35
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:02,897
I was beginning to despair
of going altogether.
36
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:04,891
What's that?
37
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:07,016
It's a note for Judy and Sandy.
38
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:10,131
"Lock up. We can be reached..."
39
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:12,973
They know where we are.
"I've hidden the spare key..."
40
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:15,972
- You going to read all that?
- No, let's get going.
41
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,013
There are games in here.
This box is full of games.
42
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,534
- That's in case it rains.
- We don't want to...
43
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,293
Right. In case it rains.
44
00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:33,137
I was expecting you earlier.
45
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:36,053
I know, Mrs Bale.
We were expecting us earlier.
46
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,415
- Shall I take that?
- It's fine, I've got it.
47
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,218
You brought food with you.
48
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:45,978
Just a few little extra special things.
49
00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:48,494
- Eggs?
- Only six.
50
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:51,174
Why would you assume
that I'd forget eggs?
51
00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:53,979
I didn't. I don't know
why I brought them.
52
00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:56,574
You haven't got
any custard tarts in there?
53
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:58,651
Oh, no! No, no!
54
00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:00,617
Pleased to hear it.
55
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,377
- I'll take that.
- No, leave that to me, it's very heavy.
56
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:09,816
Nonsense. My strength
is as the strength of ten
57
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,970
because my heart is pure.
58
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:19,177
Puny.
59
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,778
Eggs.
60
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:26,376
I've invented a new cocktail
61
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,611
to celebrate your becoming
the new master and mistress.
62
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:33,613
- That's very kind, Mrs Bale. Do sit down.
- No, thank you.
63
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,099
What's it called?
64
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:37,899
- I thought just Vroom.
- Oh.
65
00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:40,892
Vroom! Well, cheers.
66
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:46,978
That hits the spot.
67
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:50,336
You sounded quite like your father then.
68
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:54,333
- Oh, how are they? Have you heard?
- They're still in Mongolia.
69
00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:58,698
I received a postcard from
somewhere called Ulan Bator.
70
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,771
I assume they've been yak riding.
71
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:03,010
- Several times.
- Ooh!
72
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,091
I wonder what it's like riding a yak.
73
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,738
Yakky I should think.
74
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:14,169
Well now, I prepared a light lunch
with the food I got in.
75
00:04:14,260 --> 00:04:17,570
It will be ready in 18 and a half minutes.
76
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:20,618
Would you like me to serve it in here
or in the garden?
77
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,772
I should think in here.
It's a bit chilly in the garden.
78
00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:26,738
I suppose it might seem so
to city people.
79
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:29,658
Was that a rebuff?
80
00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,253
A little dig, I think.
81
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:34,412
- What will the locals make of us?
- "Foreigners."
82
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,253
"Coming down here
with your fancy London ways."
83
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:39,615
I thought we'd stroll
to the village after lunch.
84
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:41,930
You're not intending to buy more food?
85
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,011
Just to look around.
86
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,455
Mmm, well, we could.
87
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,815
That wasn't said with total enthusiasm.
88
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,458
I'll be honest.
89
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,213
I found getting away
for the weekend a bit tiring.
90
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,813
If that's a dig at me...
91
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:59,416
It's not, and I'm sure we'll get it down
to a fine art with practice.
92
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:04,051
We'll probably be packed up and ready
to go in five or six hours, eventually.
93
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,290
If I had the energy, I'd get up and hit you.
94
00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:08,416
- You're tired too?
- Yes, isn't it awful?
95
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:12,209
It's not awful at all.
That's what these weekends are for.
96
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:15,258
Rest and relaxation,
not tearing round villages.
97
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:17,376
I don't remember mentioning tearing.
98
00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:21,578
What I thought would be nice
after lunch would be...
99
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:27,975
Well... a gentle sprawl about.
100
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,050
You mean a nap, don't you?
101
00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:35,496
- Yeah, I suppose I do.
- Come on, we're not that tired.
102
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,770
Shh! Shh!
103
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,898
Coo-eee!
104
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,369
- What?
- Coo-eee!
105
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:18,979
- What's going on?
- Hello, old chap.
106
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:22,498
Alan and Glenys.
107
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:24,616
And Derek and Dorcas.
108
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,691
- How do you do?
- Oh, shut up.
109
00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:30,293
Jean.
110
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,938
- Jean!
- Hmm.
111
00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,976
I was just having a lovely dr...
112
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:37,929
Oh!
113
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:40,818
- This is Alan and...
- Glenys.
114
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,697
Glenys and Derek and Doreen.
115
00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,816
- Dorcas.
- Dorcas.
116
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:46,777
Oh. How do you do?
117
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:48,498
If this is a bad time?
118
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:51,413
No, no, no. No, it isn't, is it, Lionel?
119
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,617
Erm, no. Although I don't exactly...
120
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:57,260
Not that it's ever
an "on the dot" arrangement.
121
00:06:57,340 --> 00:07:00,810
I suppose one just falls
into a sort of pattern.
122
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:04,449
- Yes, I suppose one does.
- I know Dorcas and I have.
123
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:07,418
But I always say there's nothing wrong
with a pattern...
124
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:10,731
if it's a pattern that pleases.
125
00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:15,376
Yes. That's true. Well, that's very true.
126
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:18,418
Please don't think this
an indelicate question,
127
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,536
but... you did know we were coming?
128
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,895
- Well...
- Of course we did.
129
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:26,017
We just forgot the time.
130
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,897
How lovely to meet you all.
131
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:30,892
Now I'll go and see
if Mrs Bale is, erm...
132
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,448
is laying something on.
133
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,498
Well, do sit down. Excuse me.
134
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:42,895
I'll go and see if Mrs Bale
is laying something on too.
135
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:46,819
Odd couple.
136
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,891
Who are those people?
137
00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,016
I haven't the faintest idea.
138
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,375
Then why did you say
we were expecting them?
139
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:56,099
They were expecting us
to be expecting them.
140
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:58,216
- That's not our fault.
- We're new.
141
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,734
We can't let people
think we're inhospitable.
142
00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:02,890
We can't make them feel they barged in.
143
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:04,811
But they did!
144
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:08,415
They could... They could be squatters
for all we know.
145
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,378
Oh, Lionel. Do they look like squatters?
146
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:13,692
No, I suppose not.
147
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:16,692
Mrs Bale, who are those people in there?
148
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:19,419
- Guests.
- We didn't invite any guests.
149
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,377
You didn't say not to.
150
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,770
- You invited them?
- I wouldn't presume!
151
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:28,330
- Who did invite them?
- Mr and Mrs Hardcastle, Senior.
152
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:32,129
- They're in Mongolia.
- It's a long-standing invitation.
153
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,417
The first Saturday of the month
has been open house for years.
154
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:39,379
- Nobody told us.
- I can't remember everything.
155
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:44,650
- He's your father.
- I'm painfully aware of that.
156
00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:49,578
We can't just throw them out, can we?
157
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:55,015
- I have to say no, I suppose.
- Come on, it mightn't be so bad.
158
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,295
Might be jolly having a few people round.
159
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,211
Come on.
160
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:26,699
- I'm on my own in there.
- No, there are hundreds of them in there.
161
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,816
I didn't know half the county'd turn up.
162
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:32,256
- You're not helping, skulking out here.
- I'm not skulking.
163
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:37,329
- What are you doing, servicing the car?
- I suppose I'd better come in.
164
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:40,617
It's not easy dealing
with a lot of strangers.
165
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,770
They're not strangers to each other.
166
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:47,172
If they meet on the first Saturday
of every month, they wouldn't be.
167
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:49,171
It must cost Rocky and Madge a fortune.
168
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:50,898
Us from now on.
169
00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:55,690
Next month we could say that we've got
measles and we're in quarantine.
170
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:59,216
What will we have the month after that,
swamp fever?
171
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:03,088
We can't have measles for the rest of
our lives. A nurse ought to know that.
172
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:05,489
I said the first thing
that came into my head.
173
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:08,697
We could say that you were unhinged.
174
00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:10,338
Have you got any ideas?
175
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:13,253
We don't come here
the first Saturday in every month.
176
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:16,696
I have an awful feeling
they'd turn up regardless.
177
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,896
Well, come on.
178
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:22,768
- Better at least play hosts.
- So much for a quiet weekend.
179
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,132
Ah! There you are!
180
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,654
Come on, you two.
We're about to play Murder.
181
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:31,937
Don't say it. Don't say it!
182
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:41,616
Well, at least they didn't stay to dinner.
183
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:47,218
It did cross my mind that we might be
expected to put them up for the night.
184
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:50,133
I expect Alan would have
organised a feast in the dorm.
185
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:54,179
- I hate organisers.
- If you're referring to my packing...
186
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:57,093
You know I'm not.
The main thing is, is they've gone.
187
00:10:57,180 --> 00:11:00,729
Which gives us three weekends in a row
to ourselves.
188
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:01,809
Yes.
189
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:04,130
Why do you say yes like that?
190
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:06,097
Well...
191
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,619
Yes?
192
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:12,739
Well, Alan said that on the second
Saturday of every month
193
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:14,811
everybody went over to him and Glenys.
194
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,936
Oh, my God.
195
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:20,217
And on the third Saturday
of every month
196
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,655
everybody goes to Derek and Dorcas.
197
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:25,652
- The fourth weekend?
- To Tim and Jane's.
198
00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:30,256
- I didn't even meet a Tim and Jane.
- He's in software, and she has a lisp.
199
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:32,570
She didn't lisp when I talked to her.
200
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:35,128
She didn't say anything
beginning with S.
201
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:39,532
As a matter of fact,
I don't think she did. She just said hello.
202
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:43,169
- You can't very well lisp hello, can you?
- Not really.
203
00:11:43,260 --> 00:11:46,570
It's like a travelling circus.
You didn't say yes to any of this?
204
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:52,018
- Not in so many words.
- Which means you didn't say no.
205
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:54,330
- Not in so many words.
- For goodness' sake!
206
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:56,138
Before you get on your high horse,
207
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,939
if these people kindly
invite us to their homes,
208
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,976
we can't just turn them down flat.
209
00:12:01,060 --> 00:12:03,733
Well, can we?
210
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:08,730
We've got sucked into the county set.
211
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:12,859
- At least there are Sundays.
- I wouldn't bank on those either.
212
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:18,931
This is more like it.
213
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:21,090
I said there were always Sundays.
214
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,818
Hmm.
215
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:26,336
- I almost went to church this morning.
- You didn't say anything.
216
00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:29,890
No. I went back to sleep
while I was considering it.
217
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,572
About the county set...
218
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:36,619
Oh, don't spoil the day
talking about them.
219
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:40,818
- Let's have a drink before lunch.
- That's a much nicer idea.
220
00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:46,296
Just a minute.
Those cars, I recognise them.
221
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,132
What as?
222
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,973
Half of them were parked
outside the house yesterday.
223
00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:54,609
- They're all in there.
- You're getting paranoid.
224
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:57,339
You didn't take a note of
the numberplates?
225
00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:59,251
I just know I recognise some of them.
226
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:01,854
I know that one
with the stupid cat on the window.
227
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:06,411
- Derek and Dorcas.
- They're enough to be getting on with.
228
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,570
Let's find another pub.
229
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:13,137
- Oh. Oh.
- Hey, old fellows. Well met.
230
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:17,896
How lovely. We forgot to tell you
the gang meet here Sunday lunch time.
231
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:20,938
Come in. Last one to the bar's a sissy.
232
00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:30,452
Come along.
233
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:34,932
The gang.
234
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,056
We're in a gang now.
235
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,568
Dorcas wants me to join the WI.
236
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,093
Last week they had a talk on thimbles.
237
00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:49,050
That's a good word
for a woman with a lisp to say.
238
00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:52,018
A class of thimbles.
239
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,328
Yeth!
240
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,934
Next week we'll go to the pub
in the next village.
241
00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:59,774
They probably got an affiliated gang.
Same people, different names.
242
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,816
Coo-eee!
243
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:09,251
Surprise!
244
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:12,457
Oh. Oh, hello.
245
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,649
I have to put up my hands
and say this is all my fault.
246
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:21,130
- I should have thought.
- It seemed like a fun idea at the time.
247
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:23,450
Well, it's not that you're not welcome.
248
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,132
Mum, we saw your faces.
249
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,336
They did not say,
"How lovely to see you."
250
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:30,139
We just haven't had
much time to ourselves.
251
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:32,529
We're in a gang, you see.
252
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:36,937
Did you say gang, Li?
253
00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:41,491
Well, a crowd. Everybody seems to do
everything together down here.
254
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,013
Everything?
255
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,898
- Alistair.
- Sorry, Li.
256
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:48,255
There are isolated showers
in the Irish Sea.
257
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:50,296
Will the young people stay to lunch?
258
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:52,530
- No thank you, Mrs Bale.
- Absolutely not.
259
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:55,817
This was a flying viz.
We'll shoot round some local hostelry.
260
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,733
- Two for lunch then.
- Of course they must. Lionel?
261
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,731
Provided nobody wants to play Murder.
262
00:15:00,820 --> 00:15:02,572
- Five for lunch then?
- Yes.
263
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,299
- Two, Mrs Bale.
- Two for lunch?
264
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:08,611
- Judy, you're making me feel awful.
- No, I feel awful.
265
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:13,137
- We shouldn't have crashed in like this.
- No we shouldn't. I feel awful as well.
266
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,496
Having established
that everyone feels awful,
267
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:18,571
may I have a decision about lunch?
268
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:20,935
Yes, five, Mrs Bale, and that's final.
269
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,614
- Thank you.
- Seven.
270
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,737
- Lionel, don't be difficult.
- I'm not being difficult.
271
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:29,857
I've just seen Penny
and Stephen arriving.
272
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:35,050
It's a lovely house, Jean. Lovely.
273
00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:38,655
But isn't it rather large
for just two people?
274
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:40,492
Well, we don't know yet.
275
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:45,654
I couldn't live in a large house. I'd just
ramble around and keep losing myself.
276
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,696
Forever?
277
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,335
Obviously not forever
or I'd never be seen again, would I?
278
00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:53,899
No, no.
279
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,813
You mustn't worry about
the house being too large.
280
00:15:56,900 --> 00:16:00,415
- Aunt Penny, Mum is not worried.
- Of course she is.
281
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,539
But look on the bright side, you've got
plenty of room for houseguests
282
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:07,180
and Stephen and I can stay
for the whole weekend
283
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:09,933
whenever you want us to -
we're only an hour away.
284
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,534
As close as that?
285
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:15,088
- Jolly, isn't it? What's in here?
- The library.
286
00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:17,250
- May I peep?
- Oh, of course.
287
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:21,015
The trouble with libraries
is all those books. Awful dust gatherers.
288
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:25,371
- Pow!
- Is that a cough, dear?
289
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:27,416
Of course, it could be damp.
290
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:56,896
- Ah, there you are.
- Yes, Stephen, here I am.
291
00:16:57,740 --> 00:17:00,095
You mind if I...
292
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:02,250
No, of course not.
293
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:09,933
- Have a paper.
- No, thanks all the same.
294
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:13,649
I give myself a day off
from the newspapers on Sundays.
295
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:15,935
Do you?
296
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:19,456
- Don't mind if I have a read?
- Absolutely not.
297
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:24,654
Trying to give them up on Saturdays too.
298
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:28,619
- Really?
- Well, they're so depressing, aren't they?
299
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:35,332
Between you and me, I wouldn't mind
trying to give them up altogether.
300
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:38,336
Why don't you, then?
301
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:42,215
I suppose if I gave
them up on Saturdays,
302
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:47,090
I could try to work my way
back through the week.
303
00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:49,171
Yes, you could do that.
304
00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:52,771
Starting with Friday...
305
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,979
- Then Thursday...
- And so on.
306
00:17:57,060 --> 00:18:01,099
- Quite. Then Wednesday.
- Stephen, I've got the gist.
307
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,809
Of course you have.
Then on to Tuesday.
308
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,776
Then Monday.
309
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:15,211
And Sunday would be all right
because I've cracked that already.
310
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:18,492
Jolly good.
311
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:25,250
I could, of course, do the whole thing
the other way round
312
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:28,252
and give them up
on Monday to start with.
313
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:33,099
- Then Tuesday...
- Look...
314
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:36,131
if you want to give up the newspapers,
315
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:39,576
why don't you just give
them all up at one fell swoop?
316
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:43,335
That's a bit draconian, isn't it?
317
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:48,212
- Are you all right?
- Yes, fine. I'm having a lovely weekend.
318
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:51,656
That's good. I suppose it will be
like this every weekend.
319
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:53,139
Guests all over the house.
320
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:56,576
Stephen, what do you know
about woodworm?
321
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,298
Nothing at all. Why?
322
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:01,053
Penny thinks we may have
woodworm in the library.
323
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:05,611
Oh, while you're at it, would you
like to check the cellar for rats?
324
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,529
I'm surprised you haven't done
that already.
325
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:12,738
- Must have slipped my mind.
- Don't know a lot about rats either.
326
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:16,699
- It's "Love you and leave you" time.
- Have a lovely rest of the day.
327
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:21,058
- You don't have to go yet.
- We don't want to outstay our welcome.
328
00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:24,337
Oh, well. Goodbye, Judith.
Goodbye, Sandra.
329
00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,490
Goodbye. Bye, Penny.
Bye, Stephen.
330
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,730
- Bye!
- Bye now.
331
00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:30,333
- Bye!
- Bye.
332
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:33,776
- It looks as if the party's breaking up.
- Still, never mind.
333
00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:38,615
- Oh, we don't have to go for ages.
- Only an hour away, you see?
334
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,930
Practically neighbours.
335
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:43,932
I've been chatting to Lionel
about giving up newspapers.
336
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:48,491
Oh, don't start that again, Stephen.
You've been on about it for six months.
337
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:50,775
Aren't you two going to sit down?
338
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,135
Oh, yes. Of course.
339
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:58,451
Oh, dear.
340
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:01,489
I know they lay eggs.
341
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:03,411
- Who do?
- Woodworm.
342
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,899
Oh.
343
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:07,414
Rats don't, of course.
344
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:11,288
- I didn't say you had rats.
- I know, I was just chipping in.
345
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,894
I know what I meant to say.
346
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:18,258
- I saw something in the kitchen, Jean.
- Cockroaches?
347
00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:22,413
- Lionel! What was that, Penny?
- A box full of games.
348
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:25,697
Oh, yes. That's in case it rains.
349
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:28,248
I love Scrabble. Let's play Scrabble.
350
00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:33,370
Yes, well, it doesn't have
to be raining of course.
351
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:40,450
- Your turn.
- Right.
352
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:44,778
F-U...
353
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:49,169
R-Z-E.
354
00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:51,216
Furze, 34.
355
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,610
Excellent. Now I can
put my S on the end
356
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:57,498
and that makes furzes.
357
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,252
There's no such word.
358
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,570
Of course there is.
Furzes, plural of furze.
359
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:05,858
The plural of furze is furze.
Like gorse. You don't have gorses.
360
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,215
No, geese.
361
00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:12,935
- That's not the same thing, Stephen.
- No, I suppose not.
362
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:16,649
- Am I allowed to have "furzes" or not?
- No.
363
00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:19,493
- I insist on seeing a dictionary.
- We haven't got one.
364
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:23,732
You've got a library full of books.
You must have a dictionary. Jean?
365
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:27,335
I'm not going into the library
in case I get savaged by woodworm.
366
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:31,208
This is just a friendly.
Let furzes stay. Stephen, your turn.
367
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:34,133
Well, it's a bit tricky really.
368
00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:38,051
I seem to have all the Qs and Ys.
369
00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:43,055
Er... I couldn't make furzes furzesy,
I suppose?
370
00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:46,689
No, not even in a friendly.
You must have something else.
371
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,816
Well, I have got a P but...
372
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:52,017
Oh, hang on. Wait a minute.
373
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:58,289
If I take the C from cottage,
and put down my P, I can have pottage.
374
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:05,129
- Stephen, you're not allowed to do that.
- Are you sure?
375
00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:09,099
Next you'll be rushing down the board
and changing that P into a king!
376
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:11,740
I played somewhere
where you substituted letters.
377
00:22:11,820 --> 00:22:14,050
- Where?
- I don't know, somewhere or other.
378
00:22:14,140 --> 00:22:16,495
- My go.
- It wasn't with me. Who with?
379
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,616
- My go.
- I don't remember.
380
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:21,817
How many times have you been
round playing Scrabble...
381
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,653
My go! F-L-U-G, flug.
382
00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:27,618
- Flug?
- Yes, it's Anglo-Saxon.
383
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,656
Put that C back on cottage, Stephen.
384
00:22:29,740 --> 00:22:33,619
Sorry to interrupt, but I've been listening
to the shipping forecast.
385
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,168
- Is this relevant?
- Extremely relevant.
386
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:39,570
Hampshire will be shrouded
in thick fog within the hour.
387
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:42,128
- That's us.
- I know it's us, Stephen.
388
00:22:42,220 --> 00:22:45,451
Mrs Bale, are you sure?
It's perfectly clear outside.
389
00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:49,738
If our brave mariners respect
the shipping forecast, I think we should.
390
00:22:49,820 --> 00:22:52,698
- You're quite right.
- Yes, look, Stephen, we must go.
391
00:22:52,780 --> 00:22:54,736
Right-ho, yes.
392
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:57,698
I'm terribly sorry
we have to dash off like this.
393
00:22:57,780 --> 00:22:59,498
We'll see you out.
394
00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:03,334
I hate driving in fog. Seems
to send me into some sort of daze.
395
00:23:03,420 --> 00:23:05,570
Does it? You'd better get cracking then.
396
00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:08,658
Flug?
397
00:23:08,740 --> 00:23:11,857
I'll let you know how I get on
with giving up newspapers.
398
00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:15,933
- Do. I'll be fascinated to hear about that.
- It was lovely, Jean.
399
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:19,251
Next time we'll come
for the whole weekend.
400
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:20,568
How lovely.
401
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,177
- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
402
00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:25,012
Goodbye.
403
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:30,255
- God bless the shipping forecast.
- Yes.
404
00:23:34,020 --> 00:23:35,499
Sorry.
405
00:23:38,780 --> 00:23:40,498
- Mrs Bale?
- Yes?
406
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:44,209
This dense fog which is going to
engulf the whole of Hampshire,
407
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:47,576
isn't it rather odd to hear that
on a shipping forecast?
408
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,412
Mrs Bale!
409
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:53,129
Well, I thought the situation
warranted a little white lie.
410
00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:54,175
Bless you.
411
00:23:54,260 --> 00:23:58,094
You claimed to have the strength of ten
because your heart was pure.
412
00:23:58,180 --> 00:24:01,536
I've always found "pure"
to be a very comparative word.
413
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:09,739
What happens when Penny and Stephen
get home without seeing any fog at all?
414
00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:14,052
- Oh, Penny will blame Stephen.
- She can't blame him for the weather.
415
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:16,813
Why not? She blamed him
for the Gulf War.
416
00:24:22,380 --> 00:24:24,848
- Peace, perfect peace.
- Yes.
417
00:24:26,020 --> 00:24:28,295
We'll have to make a move soon.
418
00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:30,735
- Where?
- Home.
419
00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,776
It's only five o'clock.
420
00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:35,499
We've got to pack up,
then there's the traffic.
421
00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:38,572
Sunday evenings,
people back from the country.
422
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:40,696
We don't want to get caught in the rush.
423
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:43,340
- It was hardly worth coming.
- Don't say that.
424
00:24:43,420 --> 00:24:46,810
We've had about five minutes
to ourselves all weekend.
425
00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:51,610
People coming and going.
We might as well have gone to Butlins.
426
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,577
We have to do something about it.
427
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,094
Like disconnect the phone
and bolt the doors?
428
00:24:56,180 --> 00:25:00,537
I shall be serving an intimate supper
in front of the fire at 7:43.
429
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:03,737
Oh, that sounds lovely, Mrs Bale,
430
00:25:03,820 --> 00:25:05,458
But we have to set off soon.
431
00:25:05,540 --> 00:25:08,338
- Why?
- Yes, why?
432
00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:10,934
I've got to go into the office tomorrow.
433
00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:12,658
- Why?
- Yes, why?
434
00:25:12,740 --> 00:25:14,970
Why does everyone
keep saying "Why?"?
435
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:20,259
Cos I'm not semi-retired. I just can't go in
when I feel like it. I mean...
436
00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:24,015
It does sound lovely,
supper in front of the fire.
437
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:27,775
Just phone Judy and say
you'll be in sometime tomorrow.
438
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,215
- You know, I think I will.
- Excellent.
439
00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:32,689
Then I shan't have to
hide your rotor arm.
440
00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:37,376
- What's a rotor arm?
- Put it this way.
441
00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,735
The car wouldn't start without one.
442
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:41,936
Oh, Mrs Bale has hidden depths.
443
00:25:42,020 --> 00:25:45,774
- Father calls her the adjutant.
- Talking of Rocky...
444
00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:48,090
I can't imagine they got dragged into this
445
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:49,977
"Everybody over to so-and-so's" thing.
446
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:52,016
No, nor can I really.
447
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:55,217
The open house thing here, all right,
448
00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:58,895
but "Everybody over to so-and-so's"
just isn't their style.
449
00:25:58,980 --> 00:26:02,655
- I wonder what excuse they used?
- They're not excuses people.
450
00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:06,335
They'd just say,
"No thank you. We don't want to."
451
00:26:06,420 --> 00:26:09,139
- They probably would at that.
- We should try it.
452
00:26:09,220 --> 00:26:11,893
Might not make us popular
but at least it's honest.
453
00:26:11,980 --> 00:26:15,131
If it stopped that crowd
trying to take over our lives
454
00:26:15,220 --> 00:26:17,176
it'd be worth a try.
455
00:26:17,260 --> 00:26:18,739
I mean thimbles.
456
00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:23,211
Alan suggested I got a 4x4
and went off-roading with them.
457
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:24,938
Now, try it.
458
00:26:25,020 --> 00:26:28,092
I don't want to go bumping over fields
in an armoured car.
459
00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:31,695
No, try saying, "No thank you.
We don't want to."
460
00:26:31,780 --> 00:26:35,932
- No thank you. We don't want to.
- That sounds very surly.
461
00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:38,534
- You try it then.
- All right.
462
00:26:38,620 --> 00:26:42,329
No thank you. We don't want to.
463
00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:45,897
- That sounds rather whiny.
- Does it?
464
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:48,175
Somewhere in the middle then.
465
00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:50,376
That will be one of them.
466
00:26:50,460 --> 00:26:53,372
- Leave us alone!
- I'm not having it.
467
00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:58,295
- We're having supper in front of the fire.
- No, let me try somewhere in the middle.
468
00:26:58,380 --> 00:27:01,099
- But honest.
- Honest, of course.
469
00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:05,573
- Hello? Oh, Alan.
- Oh, my God.
470
00:27:06,540 --> 00:27:09,259
Supper tonight?
Oh, thank you, Alan.
471
00:27:09,340 --> 00:27:11,729
- What?
- No, we can't.
472
00:27:11,820 --> 00:27:15,415
- That's a shame. Why ever not?
- Why? Why?
473
00:27:15,980 --> 00:27:17,538
Er... Well, it...
474
00:27:17,620 --> 00:27:21,977
Would you believe it?
Lionel has just come down with measles.
475
00:27:23,580 --> 00:27:27,971
Yes. Yes, I know. That's fine. Yes.
476
00:27:28,060 --> 00:27:30,494
Yes, so goodbye.
477
00:27:32,580 --> 00:27:35,458
# You must remember this
478
00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:38,100
# A kiss is still a kiss
479
00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:41,570
# A sigh is just a sigh
480
00:27:43,660 --> 00:27:47,255
# The fundamental things apply
481
00:27:47,340 --> 00:27:50,650
# As time goes by
482
00:27:54,220 --> 00:27:57,132
# And when two lovers woo
483
00:27:57,220 --> 00:27:59,814
# They still say I love you
484
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:02,892
# On that you can rely
485
00:28:05,420 --> 00:28:09,891
# The world will always welcome lovers
486
00:28:11,140 --> 00:28:19,058
# As time goes by #
38698
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