Original subtitles

♪♪

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Theme music plays ]

♪♪

[ Whirring ]

♪♪

Man: It's alive! [ Thunder rumbles ]

♪♪

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪♪

Tyrion Lannister,

if you are found guilty of poisoning your nephew,

the king, you will die.

I demand a trial -- by trivia!

Who will partner with the dwarf?

I, Oberyn Martell, five-time Trivia Tuesdays champion

at Buds 'n' Suds, shall volunteer.

You have two minutes to answer all the questions.

Tyrion, if you answer all of them correctly,

you go free

with a Generael Elecktricke washer and dryer set.

Generael Elecktricke -- imagination at work.

Your time starts now!

Sandor Clegane's nickname for his penis.

The Hound!

The finger most people like in their butt is...

The little finger! His real name.

Petyr Baelish!

What the Night King says during sex.

Shrinkage. It's cold!

Looks like you're out of time.

What?

Ouchie!

Ow!

Ha!

Blade!

Ow! All right, Blade, you didn't kill me,

so what do you want?

Glad you asked.

Blade's Blades are top-tier knives

made from 100% stainless steel.

I'm sorry, you killed my best friend to sell me knives?

No, these knives sell themselves.

I'm offering you the chance to get a set of Blade's Blades

at a price so low...

not even I can beat it.

[ Laughs ]

Blade.

Listen, I'm gonna be real with you.

Being a vampire-hunter isn't paying the bills, so...

Prepare to die, Blade.

Put that gun down.

You brought a knife to a gun fight.

Block, block, block, block, block!

Ow.

Oh, it's not a knife, it's a Blade's Blade.

Not a single scratch on it.

I'll buy two. Do you take Discover?

Discover?!

Yeah, I take Discover.

Put me in, Coach. I want to play football.

Rudy, no. You are too short!

Hey! Stop moving the plastic thing!

I'm not. This is scary.

I wish we never found that coupon

for a free "o-wee-gee" board.

H-E-L-L-O...

W?

Did the ghost just spell "hello" with a "W" on the end?

Oh, snap! He doesn't know how to spell?!

[ Both laugh ]

Hey -- hey, ghost, what do you want from us?

D-Y-E.

What? Did you just-- what?!

Dye? Like you want us to dye our hair?

This ghost is dumb.

[ Both laugh ]

You fucking dumb ghost!

Both: "Hi. I'm not the ghost you were talking to,

but I tutor him.

The only way he'll grow is if he believes in himself,

and you guys aren't helping at all."

Ah, geez. And now I feel bad.

"Now I have to 'murdur' you both."

He spelled "murder" with two "U's"!

Mur-dur! Dur!

"I'm-a kill them. I'm a ghost, dur-dur!"

Mama says I'm smart! Whoo!

Ricola.

Halls, mother-fuckers!

Ricola...

Tank, is Neo ready?

Almost. The martial arts upload is just about done.

I know kung fu.

Good. We have to get back into the Matrix at once.

Not yet. I want to learn how to whistle.

We don't have time for that.

I'll be quick. Plug me back in.

Neo?

[ Whistles melodically ]

Let's go. Humanity depends on us.

I want to learn how to scat.

Why, Neo?! Plug me back in, Tank.

♪ Skibbiddy boop, bop, a-doo-baddoo-doot ♪

♪ And I turn out the light ♪ We must go, Neo.

I want to learn how to make my eyebrows dance.

Tank, plug me back in.

Are you ready?

Once I learn to Hammer dance.

Please just kill me.

[ Whistling ]

♪ Scatting to the left, and I scat to the right ♪

♪ A-ba-doo ♪ Impossible.

♪♪

♪ Can't shoot this ♪

He is the One.

Gross. What's wrong with your body?

Well, one day, I swung over the swing set bars

and through an ill-defined chain of events,

became Inside-Out Boy!

Pssh! More like Geek-side-Out Boy.

[ Laughs ] Cheryl, you should write for "BoJack."

Yeah, I should. Oh!

Don't listen to them.

Your differences are what make you special.

[ Giggles ]

Oh, God!

Don't worry about that.

When I get an erection, my penis goes inward!

But you're right, I'm awesome because I'm Inside-Out Boy.

You're welcome!

But don't lead with that innie-erection thing!

♪♪

Oh, is that an innie penis?

Yeah, I want to get in that innie penis.

Stick my fingers in that innie penis.

Oh, you like that, Daddy?

[ Cheering ]

Oh!

Yeah, I'm the most popular kid in the whole freakin'--

Ew! You puked yourself right-side in.

So gross. Get out of here!

Wait, wait! I'm Inside-Out Boy!

Not anymore. You're just like everyone else

with an outtie penis.

[ Crying ]

Get out of here!

I got to be special! I got to!

I got to be special!

I got to be special!

Oh!

Here lies Inside-Out Boy, a freak who became unfreaked,

turning him into the dreaded regular freak.

I'm not a priest.

Amen.

[ Screaming ]

[ Classical music playing ]

♪♪

"Zombies on Rollerskates" will return after these messages.

St. Francis High School needed help from above.

But little did they realize

they were going to get that help from below.

[ Laughs ]

I'm the nun!

From "The Conjuring 2" and "The Nun,"

Valak is Sister Valak in

"Sister Act 2: Back in the Valak."

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Aaah! [ Screams ][ Screams ]

Ahh.

♪ Oh, when the saints ♪ From the diaphragm!

♪ Go marching in ♪ Come on. Yeah!

The nun is happy!

♪♪

Surprise!

♪ Oh, when the saints ♪

I've never been so proud of children that I didn't murder.

Throughout her incredible journey,

you may even ask yourself

is Valak saving these inner-city kids,

or are these inner-city kids saving her?

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ When the saints go marching in ♪

"Sister Act 2: Back in the Valak."

It's two hours of this!

Wait, I don't even know your name!

How will I find you?!

Stop, you left your...

Valtrex prescription.

[ Gasps ] I knew we had a connection!

Narrator: Glooey McStickenstuff was just a mild-mannered bottle of glue

until one day, a truck carrying radioactive acid

crashed into a truck containing psychic asteroids.

The resulting exposure to

radioactive psychic asteroid acid

transformed him into the hero known as Super Glue!

Oh, no! Help!

There's a run in my skirt!

How will I ever get a promotion with a shoddy skirt?!

Oh!

Have no fright.

Super Glue will make it right!

With just a pump of my tube...

Hmm, sorry.

Sometimes my tip dries out and you got to force it.

[ Groans ]

Oh, my God!

There you go.

Little-known fact --

super glue can stop runs in clothing.

No need to thank me!

I will not.

Teflon: Super Glue?!

More like Super Ew!

Teflon, my archnemesis.

You should adhere to the law!

Your rap sheet is a mile long!

[ Laughs ] None of those charges will ever stick to Teflon!

What happens when an unstickable force

comes into contact with a super-adhesive object?

Find out next time on...

Oh. Never mind. It's trash.

You... just get trash.

Grandma Laurie, Michael Myers is coming!

We need to go. We're safe here, all right?

I've rigged this house to be ready for this day.

The permits were a bitch.

Hey, turkey butts, I'm all home alone in here.

So if you want me, you better come and get me.

Marv, look. Some guy is going up to the house.

Rats, Harry.

We got to wait for the kid to be alone to break in.

Or we can go rob that house.

Let's do it! What could possibly go wrong?

Bright light!

Welcome back, Michael! Gun-cock.

♪♪

[ Sizzle ]

[ Clang! ]

I wouldn't come down the hall if I were you.

You better not follow me up these stairs.

Heads up.

Oh fuck!

[ Both screaming ]

This is such a freaky Friday.

Oh, I wish we could be trading places!

This place is full of true lies!

[ Both scream ]

Down the stairs, like a fish called Wanda.

I shouldn't have eaten that case of Activia this morning.

That's not a hiding place.

It's a trap! [ Laughs ]

Marv, I wet myself.

Me too.

Now we really are the Wet Bandits.

[ Both scream ]

[ Choking ]

♪♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk! Bawk.

Stupid Monkey.