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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,104 ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,405 [ Thunder crashes ] 3 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,440 [ Theme music plays ] 4 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:11,110 ♪♪ 5 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,413 [ Whirring ] 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,350 ♪♪ 7 00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:19,552 Man: It's alive! [ Thunder rumbles ] 8 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:26,619 ♪♪ 9 00:00:26,992 --> 00:00:29,195 [ Thunder crashes ] 10 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:36,262 ♪♪ 11 00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:38,437 [ Suspenseful music plays ] 12 00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,239 [ Dinosaur growling ] Shh, shh. 13 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,842 [ Whispering ] I think it's a Velociraptor. 14 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,277 No. It's a Veloci-rapper! 15 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:48,014 ♪ One, two, one, two, look who's coming through ♪ 16 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,249 ♪ Veloci-rapper, so what you want to do? ♪ 17 00:00:50,315 --> 00:00:52,718 ♪ Oh, snap, I just seen a little boy ♪ 18 00:00:52,785 --> 00:00:55,087 ♪ So it's time to attack, bust a rap, and destroy ♪ 19 00:00:55,154 --> 00:00:56,522 ♪ You could run, but I'll follow you ♪ 20 00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:57,824 ♪ I'll chew you up and swallow you ♪ 21 00:00:57,890 --> 00:00:59,058 ♪ And if there's more people ♪ 22 00:00:59,124 --> 00:01:00,226 ♪ Then I'm-a eat up all of you ♪ 23 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,928 ♪ I'm from a park called Jurassic ♪ 24 00:01:01,994 --> 00:01:03,329 ♪ My rhymes are classic ♪ 25 00:01:03,395 --> 00:01:05,432 ♪ I'll wrap you with plastic, douse you with gas ♪ 26 00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,366 ♪ And toss a matchstick ♪ 27 00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:09,702 ♪ Guarantee once I find you, you'll be in my submission ♪ 28 00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:10,970 ♪ And if you think I'll let you live ♪ 29 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,639 ♪ Then, boy, you must be wishing ♪ 30 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,240 [ Horn blowing ] 31 00:01:14,306 --> 00:01:16,075 Yeah, Jurassic Park all day! West side raptor! 32 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:17,877 Motherfucka World star! 33 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,012 FUCK meteors. We out. 34 00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:22,481 Tim, get up! You got to wake up! 35 00:01:22,548 --> 00:01:25,051 Dr. Grant, the dinosaur didn't even touch him. 36 00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:27,219 Ah, the Veloci-rapper simply shreds 37 00:01:27,286 --> 00:01:29,255 all of its victims with dope lyrics. 38 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,657 Sorry for your loss, homes. 39 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,659 ♪♪ 40 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,294 Harry, how can you be so relaxed? 41 00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,796 Snape's potion test is tomorrow! 42 00:01:37,863 --> 00:01:40,600 Oh, because I'm the chosen one. 43 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,235 Nobody said I'm the "chosen as long 44 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,137 as he gets good grades" one, eh? 45 00:01:45,204 --> 00:01:46,972 And the chosen one's friends 46 00:01:47,039 --> 00:01:49,642 should be exempt from exams, too. 47 00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,477 Will you be quiet? 48 00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:55,481 I need to be well-rested for our big potions test tomorrow. 49 00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:56,749 Why don't you just write the answers 50 00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:58,484 on the back of those cucumbers? 51 00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:02,221 Nobody's doing anything gay in here, are they? 52 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,191 Because that would be okay with me. 53 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:08,361 Oh, Dumbledore. 54 00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,463 [ Up-tempo music plays ] 55 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,533 ♪ Come on to Hogwarts ♪ 56 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,768 ♪ Learn a charm that is new ♪ 57 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:19,305 ♪ Where the spells are a curse or a hex or jinx ♪ 58 00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,609 ♪ At Harry's wizardry school ♪ 59 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,777 [ Screaming ] 60 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,213 Can anyone play goalie? 61 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,148 [ Grunts ] 62 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,784 You! New guy. 63 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,017 You're up. 64 00:02:32,084 --> 00:02:34,153 [ Up-tempo rock music plays ] 65 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:37,223 ♪♪ 66 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,059 Yeah, new guy is the balls! 67 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:41,861 [ Buzzer ] 68 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,531 -Yeah! -Yeah! 69 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,268 Together: Boo! 70 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,704 [ Crowd cheering ] 71 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,472 [ Cheers and applause ] 72 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,407 Aah! 73 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,109 [ Cheers and applause continues ] 74 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,144 Crowd: [ Chanting ] Do it! Do it! 75 00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,780 Do it! Do it! 76 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,182 [ Crowd cheers ] 77 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:05,452 New guy! New guy! New... 78 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,289 Ah, can anyone play goalie? 79 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,157 [ Whimpers ] 80 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,192 Can you describe the attackers? 81 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,994 Well, they were these giant humanlike turtles 82 00:03:16,061 --> 00:03:18,264 that were doing all kinds of karate, and... 83 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,398 I don't know. 84 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:21,166 Maybe they were teenagers or something. 85 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,103 They had weapons. Ninja weapons. 86 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,369 Anything else? 87 00:03:24,436 --> 00:03:26,505 They smelled like pizza, and they said "Dude" a lot. 88 00:03:26,572 --> 00:03:28,341 Oh, dude, they had this rat with them. 89 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:31,143 I don't know if he was their pet or, like, their master 90 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:34,080 or whatever, but, like, they had something going on. 91 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,515 I don't know. I'm just speculating. 92 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,249 Did you get a look at their faces? 93 00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:38,784 No, Officer. I didn't see it. 94 00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,487 They had these colorful little masks over their eyes, 95 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,856 so I'm like, "What do they look like, man?" 96 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,023 I don't even know. 97 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:47,060 Without the faces, we've got nothing! [ Groans ] 98 00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,795 Come on, Abe. Show us what's under that hat. 99 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,664 We want to see why it's so tall. 100 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,867 I wanted a tall hat. That's it, honestly. 101 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,601 No one needs a hat that tall. 102 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:57,203 What are you hiding under there, freak?! 103 00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:58,437 I'm not hiding anything! 104 00:03:58,504 --> 00:03:59,672 Now, if you'll excuse me. 105 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,241 Not so fast, Abe! Rip! 106 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,642 [ Stammering ] 107 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,643 Aah! Aah! 108 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:04,879 [ Guns cock ] 109 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:10,750 You must not let this happen again. 110 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,552 Yes, my lord. 111 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:17,724 ♪♪ 112 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,693 A girl is ready to join the game of thrones. 113 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,462 She must choose a face. 114 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,830 That one. 115 00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:28,467 Perhaps a girl would like a face more like this? 116 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,370 No. I want that one. 117 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,804 [ Sighs ] 118 00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:36,075 ♪♪ 119 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,077 [ Beeping ] 120 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:41,047 ♪♪ 121 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,416 [ Whirring ] 122 00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:50,483 ♪♪ 123 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:59,192 ♪♪ 124 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,535 Ugh. No. Not this one. 125 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,504 A girl wanted the one next to it! 126 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,405 [ Sighs ] 127 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,241 [ Whirring ] 128 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:13,513 ♪♪ 129 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:18,752 ♪♪ 130 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,788 [ Straining ] 131 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,825 [ Grunts ] Come on. 132 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:31,332 Man really needs to rethink the design of this place. 133 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,099 [ Up-tempo music plays ] 134 00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:37,438 Gritty: Every mascot has their own truth. 135 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,707 [ Cheers and applause ] 136 00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:45,378 I just danced my heart out to "Whoomp! (There It Is)"! 137 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,013 What more do you want from me?! 138 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,015 Real mascots are racist caricatures 139 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:52,919 and animals like Hunter, not fuzzy blobs like you. 140 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,122 I was the best mascot in the world at one time. 141 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,723 Now I can't stand the face I see 142 00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,024 when I look in the mirror. 143 00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:01,260 They don't care. No one cares. 144 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:04,398 I wasn't a perfect purebred mascot like the others. 145 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,699 Not me. 146 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:07,867 [ Thud ] 147 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,135 Did you just hit me 148 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,769 in the knee with a crowbar? 149 00:06:10,836 --> 00:06:12,773 Couldn't feel anything. Thick padding. 150 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:13,773 I, uh... 151 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,942 No! 152 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,443 Ha! Huh! 153 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,412 Ha! Huh! Why?! 154 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:22,316 [ Crying ] Why?! 155 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,618 You always hated Hunter, didn't you? 156 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,019 I didn't do it. 157 00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:29,522 But we all watched it on the JumboTron, didn't we? 158 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,425 That could've been anyone! 159 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,995 America, they want something to love. 160 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,462 You never loved me. 161 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,963 You tortured me into greatness. 162 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,966 That's how I love, stupid! 163 00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:44,505 But they also want a gigantic orange nightmare creature. 164 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:47,440 Showtime! 165 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,208 I'm Gritty. 166 00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:50,777 Thank you so much for hiring me 167 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,345 as your assistant, Nostradamus. 168 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,745 What can I do for you? 169 00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:56,616 Please, go to the market and fetch me some ink for my quill. 170 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:57,850 Yes, sir. God damn it! 171 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,085 You're gonna buy brown ink! 172 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,387 I wanted black! 173 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,654 I'm sorry I yelled. 174 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,523 I've just got a lot of prophecies 175 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,957 to write, and I'm stressed. 176 00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:06,225 Sir, I understand. 177 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:07,827 Why don't you go to the kitchen and fetch me 178 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,762 some hot, relaxing tea? 179 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,097 As you wish. Aah! 180 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,600 You're gonna spill it on my lap and burn my dick. 181 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,634 Oh, my goodness! 182 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,169 I'm so sorry! It's fine. 183 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,437 I'm just a little sensitive about my dick. 184 00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,773 Understood. Can I... 185 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,974 You're gonna fuck my wife! 186 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:21,974 Aah! Oh. 187 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,409 What?! I would never. 188 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:26,746 Yeah, you will, right there on that couch and behind that door. 189 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:27,746 That's where I'll watch. 190 00:07:27,813 --> 00:07:29,081 Wait. You'll watch? Yeah. 191 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:30,282 I'll enjoy watching for reasons 192 00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:31,884 I won't understand, and then, one day, 193 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,519 I'll open the door, try to join in. 194 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,788 You'll be cool. She'll get upset, call it off. 195 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,690 Humiliated, I slash both of your throats 196 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:40,493 and hang my nude body above your corpses right here. 197 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,661 I'm going to leave now. 198 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,196 Wait! What? 199 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,965 Okay, now go. Okay, bye. 200 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:45,699 Aah! 201 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:49,202 "Buy Apple...stock." 202 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:52,238 [ Crowd cheering ] 203 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,573 Another great show, Jonas Brothers. 204 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,610 Let's celebrate with some light hugging with some girls! 205 00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,446 But what about our purity rings? 206 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:01,614 [ Laughter ] 207 00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,349 What are purity rings? High five. 208 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,651 Sexy boys, come with me. 209 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:08,154 Something terrible has happened. 210 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,489 -Ooh, it's kind of dark. -Whoa! 211 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:12,158 Boys, the United States needs your help. 212 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,893 America needs the Jonas Brothers? 213 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,294 You're not the Jonas Brothers. 214 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,497 You're actually the Jonas clones. 215 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:18,798 -Aah! -Gasp! 216 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,633 Years ago, the government was alerted 217 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,969 to the existence of a teen heartthrob 218 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,305 who was far too heartthrob-y. 219 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:26,806 His looks were killer. 220 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,508 His music was boppin'. 221 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,376 And his hair was floppy. 222 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,078 He was called Jonas. 223 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,213 -Like us! -Quiet! 224 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,983 You are horse shit compared to him. 225 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:38,451 He could blow a kiss at a fan, 226 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,953 and their G.D. vagina would explode! 227 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,557 Their heterosexual fathers needed to give him a BJ. 228 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,492 And to restore world order, 229 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,830 the government had to step in and take Jonas captive. 230 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,497 Nooooo! 231 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,366 We experimented on his genes 232 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,668 to study the limits of his allure, 233 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,538 but there were no limits. 234 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,473 We couldn't study Jonas directly, 235 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,675 so we created clones of him. 236 00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,944 We spliced in some frog DNA to limit his allure. 237 00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:08,214 I had recently watched "Jurassic Park," 238 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,582 and that's how you three were born. 239 00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:11,851 -But we're not clones. -Oh, no? 240 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,920 Simply this. And there. Hm. 241 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:14,988 Aah! Wait! 242 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,056 Which one am I?! Kevin? Nick? Jack? 243 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,458 There is no Jack Jonas. 244 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,827 Both: There isn't? I thought I was Jack! 245 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,227 -No! -Aah! 246 00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:25,065 And the final piece of evidence. Here. 247 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,801 [ Muffled ] Why tell us now? And do you have more flies? 248 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,836 Today, Jonas Prime escaped. 249 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,772 We need your help to track him down. 250 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,073 [ Metal clangs ] 251 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,475 No! He's... 252 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,910 He's still here! 253 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,212 -Ohh! -Oh! 254 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,280 So...much...allure. 255 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:43,550 Thanks for tracking down my clothes for me, fools. 256 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:44,618 Now leave us. 257 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,618 [ Ting! ] 258 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:46,819 He winked at us! 259 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,421 I'm blushing! 260 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,624 I'm blushing to death! 261 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:55,595 Now, my clones, together, we shall rule the world! 262 00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,863 Being a Jonas isn't about ruling humanity. 263 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,633 It's about loving your fans, playing great music, 264 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,335 and being told to wear purity rings 265 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,904 until you get old enough that it's weird to wear purity rings. 266 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,005 Aw, come on, babe. 267 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,840 You can't resist. We're the same. 268 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,142 Oh, are we? 269 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,177 Ribbit motherfucker! 270 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,046 [ Frogs croaking ] 271 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,981 What are you doing? 272 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,482 No! S.O.S.! S.O.S.! 273 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,550 [ Whistle! ] 274 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:18,918 [ Explosion ] Oh! We did it! 275 00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,386 Hooray! Murder! 276 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,955 Now can we lock down whether I'm Kevin or Nick? 277 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,290 [ Laughter ] 278 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,191 Together: Huh?! 279 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,225 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 280 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,559 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 281 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:29,562 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 282 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,730 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 283 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,064 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 284 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,899 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 285 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:34,900 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 286 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,235 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 287 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,238 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 288 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,441 Ba-gawk! Bawk. 289 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,044 [ Gun cocks ] 290 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,847 [ Screaming ] Yeah! 291 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,548 Motherfucker! 292 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,652 ♪♪ 293 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,288 Stupid Monkey. 19866

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