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1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,936
[ Whirring ]
2
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:06,005
[ Theme music plays ]
3
00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:10,410
[ Whirring ]
4
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:17,250
♪♪
5
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:18,684
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:18,751 --> 00:00:25,751
♪♪
7
00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:27,860
[ Thunder rumbles ]
8
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:36,402
♪♪
9
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:42,142
Shame! Shame!
[ Sheeps baaing "shame" ]
10
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,478
Shame! Shame!
11
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,681
Excellent.
So, you're not going to talk.
12
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,050
Then how about a dip
in my lava Jacuzzi?
13
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,418
[ Clears throat ] Megatron,
14
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,520
you're sure this is
a Maximal in disguise
15
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,121
and not just a plain,
old panda?
16
00:00:56,188 --> 00:00:58,658
Of course, Scorponok.
Look at his smug face.
17
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,025
[ Panda squeaking ]
18
00:01:00,092 --> 00:01:02,996
I'm just asking 'cause these
little guys are endangered,
19
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:04,330
and, well, pretty adorbs.
20
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,332
Yes, I'm --
I'm not a monster.
21
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,033
I wouldn't murder
a real panda.
22
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,102
You're loving this,
aren't you?
23
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,369
[ Panda laughs ]
24
00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:11,904
-Eat hot lava, Maximal!
-Aah, no!
25
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,007
Sir! He's so helpless
and so cute!
26
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:14,941
Cute!
27
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,876
Ohh,
he's such a little baby!
28
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:17,977
Oh, my God,
did you see that?!
29
00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:19,979
Wow, I was really
ready to do it.
30
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:22,014
I mean, who am I anymore?
31
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,817
It's the war. Been out here
too long, Megatron.
32
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:27,086
Yes. I may have PTSD,
33
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,355
but that is
a fucking Maximal.
34
00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:33,960
[ Gasps ] Holy shit,
that was close.
35
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,261
Oh, phew!
36
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,230
Shit, that's the deepest
character work I've ever done.
37
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,531
Oh, my God,
I almost fucking died!
38
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,834
[ Panda screeching ]
39
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,170
[ Dumpster wheels squeaking ]
40
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:53,312
♪ Hello, mama, what's cookin'
on the stove today? ♪
41
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:56,315
Oh, my baby's home
for Thanksgiving.
42
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,318
Michigan, say hello
to your cousin.
43
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,520
[ Dramatic chord plays ]
44
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,655
Oh, hello, Pepe.
45
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,423
How about that election,
huh?
46
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:06,292
Bet you Hollywood
types aren't happy.
47
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,160
Hollywood types?
Educated types?
48
00:02:08,227 --> 00:02:09,628
Folks-with-all-their-teeth
types?
49
00:02:09,695 --> 00:02:11,464
Literally-the-whole-planet
types?
50
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:12,799
Now, boys!
51
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,701
Ohh, I'm sowwy.
52
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,935
Feels bad, man.
53
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,170
Does the special snowflake
need his blankie?
54
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,706
Could you salt these potatoes
with your liberal tears?
55
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:21,941
Ohh!
Get my mother's potatoes
56
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,776
out of your Nazi
fuck-ing mouth
57
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,612
[ Both grunting ]
58
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:28,414
[ Doors lock ]
59
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,016
I'm not a Nazi, Michigan.
60
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,151
I'm just scared
of the future.
61
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,253
Guys like me are
getting left behind.
62
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,222
I know you're not
a bad dude, Pepe.
63
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,090
You used to be a fun,
hilarious guy
64
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,725
until you were co-opted
by those
65
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,561
Alt-Right shit buckets for
their own nefarious purposes.
66
00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:44,930
They took something
pure and perverted it.
67
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:49,302
They owe your creator -- I mean,
your dad -- a big apology.
68
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,003
Frogs,
you've been bailed out.
69
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,172
-By who?
-By future generations.
70
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,741
They'll be cleaning up
the Dumpster fire
71
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,710
your generation
started for decades.
72
00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,679
[ Laughs ]
Nah, I'm playing.
73
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,180
This old lady
bailed you out.
74
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,750
Come home
for pumpkin pie, boys!
75
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,452
This has been the best
Thanksgiving ever!
76
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,721
And maybe this president
won't be so bad!
77
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,624
[ Laughter ]
78
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,626
[ Explosion ]
79
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,931
I hate children!
80
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,801
Ever since Monster Mountain
was shrunk down and sent here,
81
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,337
we've been too tiny
and pocket-sized to scare them!
82
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,971
[ Grunts ]
-[ Grunts ]
83
00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:29,642
That good, concise summary
of things we already knew, rah!
84
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,110
-Boo!
-[ Screams ]
85
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:32,979
[ Panting ]
86
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,847
[ Laughs ]
Screams make us bigger.
87
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:37,083
If we scare people,
we'll return to full size.
88
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,618
And then we will
be unstoppable!
89
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,453
The world will be ours!
-Rah!
90
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,221
You not need hold our hands.
We get it, rah.
91
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:46,592
Look, the evil monsters got
bigger when the child screamed.
92
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:49,295
But we're good monsters and
don't want to make kids scream.
93
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:52,666
Let's make them scream
with laughter, man.
94
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,567
What? Talking bugs?
95
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:57,169
[ Laughing ]
Oh, man, I'm so wasted.
96
00:03:57,236 --> 00:04:00,240
Uh, uh, we'll get bigger
every time you laugh.
97
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,840
Okay,
make me laugh, bugs.
98
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:04,410
Why do golfers bring
two pair of pants, man?
99
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:07,680
In case they get
a hole in one.
100
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,950
Cool. I think I hear
my weed calling, so...
101
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,618
I'm-a go.
-Wait. Got to read the room.
102
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:15,321
[ Clears throat ]
Um, a guy's buying condoms.
103
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:17,056
Cashier says,
"You want a bag?"
104
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,091
The guy says, "No, thanks.
She's not that ugly."
105
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:22,061
-Ha, ha, ha!
-But, look, we're growing.
106
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,097
What's the difference between
a hooker and a drug dealer?
107
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,366
A hooker can wash her crack
and sell it again.
108
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,068
[ Laughs ]
109
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,603
I don't get it, man.
110
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,371
Sorry, villains.
111
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:34,573
Joy will defeat fear
every time.
112
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,941
Say, man,
where'd the mummy go?
[ Cellphone chimes ]
113
00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:39,145
Hmm, "Following my dreams."
Signed, "Mummy"?
114
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,847
We've got a great
show tonight, okay?
115
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:45,618
Fetty Wap is here, okay?
Stick around.
116
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:47,755
[ Cheers and applause ]
117
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,255
Pizza, pizza.
118
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:50,957
Aww!
119
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,325
Et tu, Brute, Brute?
120
00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:55,928
I'd build you a shield,
but I'm too hungry.
121
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:58,298
My favorite food
is three apples.
122
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,999
If I had two more apples,
123
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,501
I'd have the strength
to build a shield.
124
00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:05,337
I can't use this.
I can't use this.
125
00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:08,241
Wait, what is this?
What are you showing me?
126
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,677
There's a world
beyond this room?
127
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,578
[ Sighs ]
128
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,848
It's so big.
I had no idea.
129
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,716
I love making potions.
130
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,085
I just wish I had
enough spring water.
131
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,420
Ha-ha!
Okay.
132
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,588
I love making potions!
133
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,657
I just wish --
-Get away from me, man!
134
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,292
-I love making --
-I said get away!
135
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,860
Miss, Miss,
I need help.
136
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:30,363
Do you know
where I left my hat?
137
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,932
I think I saw it
over by the tree.
138
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,335
-No!
-I need 10 fish scales
139
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,069
to build a chain mail.
140
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,805
Would you like
to save your game?
141
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,106
We're slaves!
Wake up, people!
142
00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:44,177
[ Yawns ] I need four coins
to wake up.
143
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,878
You've cursed me
with this knowledge,
144
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,913
this unattainable
promise of more!
145
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,050
I want things to go back
to how they were.
146
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,318
[ Sobs ] Thank you!
147
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:55,088
Yum!
Now I can build you a shield.
148
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,189
[ Hammer clanks ]
149
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,391
No! No!
Apples and shields.
150
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,027
That's all there is.
Apples and shields.
151
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,895
They're called
Creepy Crawlers.
152
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,764
You squirt the liquid
into these molds,
153
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,467
then stick them in this
heater at 390 degrees.
154
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,501
When the kids pull them out,
155
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,603
they get icky, sticky,
weird creatures.
156
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,539
What kind of dumbass would
buy this crap for their kid?
157
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:17,176
Oh, hush, dear. I'll fill the
molds, and you can bake them.
158
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:19,946
[ Oven sizzling ]
159
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,181
Hmm. I'm not getting
any younger here.
160
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:25,085
[ Screams ]
-[ Screaming ]
161
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,355
[ Muffled screams ]
162
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,491
[ Screaming ]
163
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,060
[ Sobs ]
Where is my husband?!
164
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,461
No, no!
165
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,096
Nobody died. Approved!
166
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,299
Martini time!
167
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,868
I'm not racist, but...
168
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,436
This is for bachelor
number three.
169
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:47,440
I think a man's voice
is his sexiest attribute.
170
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,775
Uh...
171
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,711
[ Chuckles nervously ]
172
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,480
My name is Professor
Wile E. Coyote.
173
00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:58,651
Welcome to Criminology 101,
or as I like to call it,
174
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,420
"How to Get Away With Murder."
175
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,755
I present to you now
the most diabolical
176
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,990
and un-solvable
murder of all time,
177
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,727
clearly perpetrated
by a super-genius.
178
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:11,831
The victim, a Mr. Road Runner,
Accelerati incredibilus.
179
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,767
His remains were found here
in a shallow grave.
180
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,103
Nearby, receipts from
the Acme Corporation
181
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,905
stained with
the Road Runner's blood.
182
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,340
How did the killer
combine these objects
183
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:23,276
into a clockwork-precise
homicide delivery system?
184
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,111
Uh, I doubt he did.
185
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,379
-Excuse me?
-Ball bearings?
186
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,314
A hang glider?
Birdseed?
187
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,715
A giant U-shaped magnet?
188
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,951
Most killers are dumb.
Occam's razor, right?
189
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,753
That Road Runner
probably got hit by a car.
190
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,655
The killer was not dumb.
191
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,289
He was --
-[ Yawns ]
192
00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:38,824
That does it!
Field trip!
193
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,694
I was just taking
this class as an elective,
194
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,629
and now I'm in
the butt-fucking desert.
195
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,598
Now, watch. I poured
the birdseed on the road.
196
00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:50,736
Then the ball bearings
go in the birdseed like so.
197
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,339
Try putting ball bearings
in your oatmeal tomorrow
198
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,308
and see if you notice or not.
Christ!
199
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,744
Watch closely,
and tell me it's not
200
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,979
diabolical in its precision!
201
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,614
[ Sighs ] I whish I brought
a Lunchable.
202
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:04,082
I love Lunchables.
203
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:06,853
Acme is mandated by the
Department of Homeland Security
204
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,388
to post lists of individuals
205
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,956
who purchase rocket-powered
merchandise.
206
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,490
-Everyone knows that!
-Fuck off, James.
207
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,693
According to Acme,
they only sold one
208
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,162
rocket-powered
hang glider ever!
209
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,430
To that guy!
210
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,699
[ Screaming ]
211
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,569
[ Groaning ]
212
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:23,602
Thanks to you kids,
213
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,805
the Road Runner's murder
is solved.
214
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,073
It's funny.
215
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,541
If Professor Coyote
had just hit the Road Runner
216
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,376
with his car,
nobody would have known.
217
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,612
He was brought down
by his own ego.
218
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,080
Who wants Lunchables?
219
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,681
Uh, me. I do.
220
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:39,587
♪♪
221
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,020
Whoo!
222
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,122
Mary-Kate and Ashley
Do Tijuana!
223
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,358
Party!
224
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,026
Jet skis!
225
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,161
Lunch!
226
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,495
More agua, señoritas?
227
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:53,166
Enjoying your vacatión?
Dónde está your parents?
228
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:55,001
IDK. Arizona?
229
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,669
Perfecto!
230
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:59,038
[ Laughs ]
231
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,041
I had so many, uh,
Shirley-a Temples
232
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,311
I can't even remember
which twin I am.
233
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,678
Eek!
234
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,714
No! Ashley!
235
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,249
Wait, am I Ashley?
236
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:13,653
I will find you
because I have skills --
237
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,821
a very particular
set of skills,
238
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:20,093
like tap-dancing and looking
cute while riding a horse!
239
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,894
I'm gonna save you!
-Oh, my God, no!
240
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,863
I'm saving you!
-Aw!
241
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,767
[ Groans ]
242
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,201
You run away while
I distract them.
243
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,237
No, you distract them,
and I'll --
244
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,172
I'd never leave you.
-Aw!
245
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,175
-Put these on.
-Oh, my God, Ashley!
246
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,408
Do you know
what this means?
247
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,412
-Fashion montage!
-Fashion montage!
248
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,115
Unh-unh.
249
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,751
No.
250
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,786
Oh!
251
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,421
[ Laughing ] Yeah!
252
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,457
Ooh, nice!
253
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,793
Twin virgins! Yeah!
254
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,160
Yep.
255
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:57,096
-Um...
-Mary Kate!
256
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,332
We said we were gonna lose
our virginities together!
257
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,499
Okay, kinda weird.
258
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,134
I've been a terrible twin.
259
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,370
No, I have. I shouldn't
have yelled at you.
260
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,273
It's okay.
I forgive you.
261
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:08,140
Mm, yeah, that's it.
262
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,977
[ Laughs ] Yeah, now kiss.
Yeah!
263
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,413
Both:
Ew! We're sisters, you sicko!
264
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,548
[ Both grunting ]
265
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,251
♪♪
266
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:19,519
[ Both sigh ]
267
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:20,887
[ Grunts ]
268
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,055
[ Guns cock ]
269
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,123
[ Man groaning ]
270
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,392
Twin power! Guns! Yeah!
271
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,061
[ Grunts ] Take that,
Jabba the Ugh!
272
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,730
Oh, my God,
you are so funny.
273
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,198
Stop it. You're taller.
274
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,000
-Oh, you stop it.
-Stop it!
275
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,302
[ Moaning ]
276
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,771
Oh, we're sisters.
277
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:39,805
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
278
00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:41,140
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
279
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,142
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
280
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,310
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
281
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,644
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
282
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,480
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
283
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,481
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
284
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,815
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
285
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,818
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
286
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:54,021
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
19970
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