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[ Whirring ]
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[ Theme music plays ]
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[ Whirring ]
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00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:17,283
♪♪
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00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,718
Man: It's alive!
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00:00:18,784 --> 00:00:25,784
♪♪
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[ Thunder rumbles ]
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♪♪
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Narrator: Now back to Davenport,
the Drama Llama.
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00:00:41,907 --> 00:00:45,811
The tempter or the tempted,
who sins most?
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Tis not she --
nor doth she tempt --
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00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:51,384
but it is I that...
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00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:54,120
lying by the virtue of the...
14
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:57,690
sun does as the carrion and...
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00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:59,926
not as the flower,
corrupt with virtuous...
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...beauty.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Thanks for inviting me,
Penelope.
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00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,037
Oh, I'm sorry --
Peppa-Mint.
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00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,538
So what's Chef Club about?
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-Chef Club is about friendship!
-Cool!
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All: And owning stuff!
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Like my new
Sparkle Clean dishwasher.
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[ Laughing heartily ]
Hey, gals!
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00:01:20,712 --> 00:01:23,116
Why don't you slide
those dirty plates in me,
26
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,450
like you're supposed to?
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00:01:24,516 --> 00:01:26,620
I always let my husband
do the dishes.
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[ All gasp ]
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00:01:27,686 --> 00:01:29,388
She didn't mean it, Baby!
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Hey, do you guys want
to take a walk
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or something, like, outside?
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You haven't even tried out
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my super rare
Moonlight Dazzle Mop.
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[ Laughing heartily ]
Drag my face on the floor!
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Holy shit!
Okay, does he feel pain?
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00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,868
-Who cares?
-Yea--
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[ Gargling ]
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Yeah, I think I might take off.
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Aw, come on, Sara.
Sit on my face some more.
40
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Oh, my God!
The chair talks, too?
41
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,377
Mm-hmm. Just like the locks
on the doors,
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and the bars in the windows,
so we never,
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ever, ever have to
leave our stuff again!
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[ All chanting "Stuff!" ]
45
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Hello? Jeff?
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I need you to come pick me up,
right now.
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I'm your husband now,
Sara.
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Euuaaaggghhh!
-Aah! Aah!
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[ All chanting "Stuff!" ]
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Aaaahh!
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Ready for our first
patient, Doc?
52
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Achoo!
53
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,806
I'd say
he has a cold, Mom.
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You're right, Doc.
What do you recommend?
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Plenty of rest
and some chicken soup.
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00:02:24,877 --> 00:02:26,278
And he'll be good as --
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My baby!
She got hit by a car!
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Pupils fixed and dilated.
Possible subdural hematoma.
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We need to intubate.
Wind pipe is crushed.
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00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,119
Trach her!
-[ Gasps ]
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Her heart stopped!
I'm going in!
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Maybe she just needs
a pick-me-up song!
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Rib spreader!
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00:02:38,824 --> 00:02:40,527
♪ A doctor's office
is a real nice place! ♪
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[ Grunting ]
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♪ A lollipop puts a smile
on your face ♪
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[ Exhales sharply ]
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Come on, breathe,
damn it, breathe!
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00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,202
[ Retches ]
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00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,170
[ Coughing ]
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Phew!
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All in a day's work,
right, kiddo?
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I want to be
an accountant.
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I can be anything I want!
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After all, we animals overcame
our baser instincts
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00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,784
and now we're thinking,
caring, talking creatures.
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Wahhhhhh!
My insides are outside!
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00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:10,757
[ Whimpers ]
What kind of world is this?!
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00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,761
Eughh, bugs!
Gross!
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[ Chuckling ] Whoops!
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00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,599
Almost forgot
my life preserver.
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00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,234
Oh, Jesus,
I just need to see this.
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00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:25,337
Oswald, you know
you're an octopus, right?
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00:03:25,404 --> 00:03:27,574
You literally cannot drown.
85
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Safety first!
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Oh fuck me.
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00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,612
[ Grunts ]
-Oohh!
88
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,552
Huh.
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00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,888
Um...Huh.
90
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,557
[ Heavy metal music playing ]
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00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,359
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
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♪ What, what
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♪ Mutant teen
pig-people hogs are ♪
94
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,965
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
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♪ Road Haaaaaawgs!
96
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,270
♪ Manpig, Pigman,
Flank, and Steve ♪
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♪ They're pigs on wheels
that honk and squeal ♪
98
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♪ Road Hawgs
99
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,307
♪ Used to be human,
no one fightin' ♪
100
00:04:02,374 --> 00:04:05,412
♪ But their dad accidentally
turned them into swines ♪
101
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,347
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
102
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,716
♪ Swallow porcine DNA
103
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,884
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
104
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,621
♪ Now they're mutated
in a terrible way ♪
105
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:19,926
♪ Road Hawgs
106
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,094
If we're ever gonna
find an antidote,
107
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,297
we'll need to stop
Dr. Bovine from...
108
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,899
Hey, where's Flank?
109
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,867
Saw him out back earlier.
110
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,003
Steve, have you seen Flank?
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00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,238
Uhh...
112
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
113
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No.
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Steve?!
115
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:38,577
Guys, uh, look...
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[ Laughing ] I just --
I love bacon soooo much!
117
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It's so good!
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Us too, buddy.
Us too.
119
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Then I guess...
120
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Let's eat, man!
-Trickin' awesome!
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♪ Road Hawgs!
122
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Brought to you by the makers
of "Cheese League."
123
00:04:56,996 --> 00:05:00,700
Narrator: And now, Taking A
Guess At Shows We Don't Watch.
124
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Nacho cheese!
Nacho cheese!
125
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:08,108
In...Seattle?
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♪♪
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Cheese...
128
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,952
Seattle...
129
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,020
in...?
130
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:23,590
Oh, my God.
The time!
131
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,690
[ Gulping ]
132
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,426
Ahh!
Shake it off!
133
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,660
Fucking keys!
Ruhh!
134
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:28,661
[ Glass shatters ]
135
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:29,762
[ Tires screech ]
136
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,464
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry.
137
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,366
Smells like beer.
138
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,635
Buddy, I just forgot.
139
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:39,340
[ Sighs ]
You always forget.
140
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,008
Son...
141
00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:45,478
Daddy's going through
a tough time, but...
142
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,512
I love you
more than life --
143
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Look out!
144
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,949
[ Screams, tires screeching ]
145
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,051
Please, God!
Someone help me!
146
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,187
My son needs a doctor!
Please!
147
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,554
I can help!
148
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,490
You can?
Are you a doctor?!
149
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:58,891
Yes, my friend.
150
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,763
My name is Dr.
Sunjayvandanacandanapecarpecar.
151
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,797
Huh?!
152
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,199
Welcome to Westworld,
153
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,135
where you can you live out
your every fantasy.
154
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,803
This better be good,
Ford.
155
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,807
I present to you
our very first host,
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00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,675
Dolores, generation one.
157
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:19,846
She's...so...lifelike!
158
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,514
No, no, no.
Not "she." It.
159
00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:24,951
We must never forget that
the hosts are not real.
160
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,953
I mean,
I'll try, but...wow.
161
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,821
[ Clears throa ]
Dolores, take one.
162
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,489
[ Clears throat ]
Howdy, y'all!
163
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:34,126
Can they, you know, uhhhh,
have...sex?
164
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,195
Why don't you ask it?
165
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:39,032
Hello, Dolores?
You look lovely.
166
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May we have
sexual intercourse?
167
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:43,169
[ Take recorder rewinding ]
168
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,670
Yes -- to the thing you said!
169
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,439
Whoo! Ow! All right!
Don't wait up!
170
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,674
[ Door opens, slams shut ]
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00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,143
Imagine a whole world
of these hosts.
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-[ Grunting ]
-Catering to your every --
173
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-[ Moaning, air hissing ]
-I broke it.
174
00:06:54,446 --> 00:06:56,549
Also, the tape recorder gave me
a gash on my forehead.
175
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,218
[ Tape recorder rewinding ]
176
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,853
[ Mumbling nonsensicall ]
177
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,954
[ Tape recorder rewinds ]
178
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,121
[ Mumbling nonsensicall ]
179
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,091
Huh.
That's a boner killer.
180
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,426
Wow, I can't believe
181
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,694
I'm finally getting
Lasik surgery!
182
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,032
Wow, I can't believe they sold
a laser to a rabbit!
183
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:21,507
Hi, we're the American Pickers,
cruising the country
184
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,042
and learning about history
185
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,578
while digging through
other people's junk.
186
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,881
Mind if we come in
and have a look around?
187
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,484
[ Mumbling ]
188
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,755
Whoa, Frankie,
do you see that?
189
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,691
Yeah, Mike. I do.
190
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:42,061
1917 Goldstein Brothers
cast-iron stove.
191
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:46,132
In the stove-picking game,
this is the holy grail.
192
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,702
So what would you need
for the stove? $500?
193
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:50,770
[ Chain saw buzzing ]
194
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,237
Wow!
195
00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:55,742
As usual, Frankie comes out
the gate with a low-ball offer
196
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,676
and nearly blows the whole pick.
197
00:07:57,743 --> 00:08:00,013
What about these meat hooks?
198
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,448
Would you take...$100 apiece?
199
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,350
[ Mumbling agreeably ]
200
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,717
I'm a meat-hook guy.
201
00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:08,988
Meat hooks are big sellers
in our Nashville store.
202
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,490
I got Leatherface to come down
on the stove,
203
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:14,727
and even though it cost me
an arm, it didn't cost me a leg.
204
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,997
That's what I call a good pick!
205
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,677
Woman: What happens when
four best friends
206
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:34,949
write each other letters
about how they really feel?
207
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,685
The letters have been delivered.
208
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,455
"We're best friends,
and I love you."
209
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,556
Aw!
210
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,225
"But I have to tell you
that you're weak.
211
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,994
I mean, I've heard
of damsels in distress,
212
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:52,131
but you make Princess Peach
look like Ronda Rousey"?
213
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,999
What?
Okay, who wrote this?
214
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:56,002
Can't wait for that letter.
215
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,671
[ Chuckles heartily ]
216
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:02,808
"For the love of God,
get some fucking contacts."
217
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:03,977
That's all they wrote?
218
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,280
"I think you two have
a serious addiction problem."
219
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,715
Like, oh, boy, Scoob.
220
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,953
They're sayin' we gotta stop
eatin' Scooby Snacks!
221
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:13,887
They rrha'?!
222
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:14,921
[ Chuckles ]
223
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:17,156
What do you mean
I don't have a letter?
224
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,092
Man: Um, the show is only
about four best friends.
225
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,862
[ Chuckles nervously ]
You're kidding, right?
226
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,797
I didn't make the cut?
Did the dog make the cut?
227
00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,701
Woman: Each friend has one week
to improve themselves.
228
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:32,906
I can't believe they called me
a damsel in distress.
229
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,740
[ Train whistle approaching ]
230
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,008
Wait a minute...
231
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,876
[ Chuckling ]
This is not my yoga class.
232
00:09:37,943 --> 00:09:39,812
-Give us the mic!
-Give me my letter!
233
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:42,115
Like, dude, we can do it,
old pal.
234
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,550
Just one week.
With nuh-- with no --
235
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,919
With no fucking
Scooby Snacks, man!
236
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,955
Like, I'm freakin' out!
237
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,389
Fuck!
No!
238
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:53,625
Woman: It's been a week since
the gang received their letters.
239
00:09:53,692 --> 00:09:55,661
Let's see if they fixed
their flaws.
240
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:57,930
Like, man, I will sell
you a body part
241
00:09:57,997 --> 00:09:59,198
for one Scooby Snack!
242
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,503
I'd rrhuck your rrhick!
[ Sobs ]
243
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,039
Guys...
I got Lasik!
244
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,374
-Rra'?!
-They're still healing.
245
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,909
[ Door bursts open ]
246
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,010
[ Grunts ]
247
00:10:11,076 --> 00:10:12,979
Enough sittin' around,
shit for brains!
248
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:14,580
Let's do this!!
[ Grunts ]
249
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,016
Ow!
250
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,416
Hmm...
251
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:21,087
If the owner died a decade ago,
why start haunting now?
252
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,456
Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you talking to me?
253
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,291
The fifth wheel?
Because --
254
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,260
Let's get
this son of a bitch!
255
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:28,595
-Hey!
-Who's your mother?!
256
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:29,929
-Ow!
-Yeah! Get over here!
257
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:33,399
-[ Glass shatters ]
-[ Grunting ]
258
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:37,370
Now let's see who
the "ghost" really is.
259
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,705
[ Grunting ]
260
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,041
[ All gasping ]
261
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,510
Butler.
262
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:45,678
Called it.
263
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:46,712
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
264
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,047
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
265
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,049
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,217
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
267
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,552
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
268
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,387
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,388
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
270
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,722
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
271
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,725
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,895
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
18675
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