Original subtitles

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!

>> WELL, WE MADE IT BACK AFTER OUR WILDEST MISSION YET.

>> WE'RE ANDY'S TOYS -- FOREVER AND ALWAYS!

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ] >> W-WHERE DID YOU GUYS COME

FROM?

>> eBAY.

ANDY ORDERED US WHEN HE COULDN'T FIND YOU.

>> BUT WE'RE IRREPLACEABLE IN ANDY'S HEART!

>> ANDY SPENT EXACTLY $32.44 TO REPLACE ALL OF YOU, AND HIS

HEART SEEMS FINE.

[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ] >> WHAT THE --

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

AW, NOW I HAVE DOUBLES OF EVERYTHING!

WELL, MIGHT AS WELL KEEP THE NEW ONES AND SELL THE CRAPPIER

ONES ON eBAY.

>> WHAT?!

>> I'VE NEVER HEARD THE VOICE CHIP SAY THAT BEFORE.

>> YEAH, I'M A RARE VARIANT.

FUCK YOU, TRAITOR!

>> [ LAUGHS ] OH, THAT'S GREAT!

[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] WOW! $800!

>> FUCK YOU!

>> I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET!

NEXT TI-- [ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

[ Ringing ] TOM, WHAT'S THE WiFi PASSWORD

HERE?

I GOT DISCONNECTED FROM THE NETWORK!

"MADCAT1."

THAT'S WHAT I TYPED, AND IT DIDN'T --

ALL IN LOWERCASE.

BUT THE "M" IN "MAD" AND THE "C" IN "CAT" ARE CAPITALIZED.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

OH! THERE IT GOES.

THANK YOU, TOM.

TOM IS GOOD PEOPLE.

>> IS EVERYTHING OKAY, MARCIE?

>> NOT REALLY, DAD.

FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE, AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO

BOYS.

>> JUST TELL THEM WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART.

>> LIKE WHAT?

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF YOU LIKED A GIRL?

>> [ CHUCKLES ] WELL, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT

WOMEN SINCE YOUR MOTHER PASSED, BUT I'LL TRY.

I LIKE YOU, AND I'M WONDERING IF YOU FEEL THE SAME.

>> COOL!

THANKS, DAD.

>> WELL, THEN, SHE'D SAY, "I'M IN MY EARLY 20s, BUT I LIKE

OLDER MEN."

AND THEN MAYBE I'D FRENCH HER YOUNG MOUTH LIKE THIS.

[ MOANING, BREATHING HEAVILY ] OH!

OH, GIRL WHO WORKS AT COSTCO, YOU LIKE THINGS IN BULK, DON'T

YOU?

I'M GIVING YOU SOMETHING IN BULK, ALL RIGHT.

OH, Y-- OH, YOU LIKE GETTING SLAPPED WITH MY MEMBERSHIP CARD,

YOU DIRTY SLUT?

OH, WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?

SHE WORKS CHECKOUT?

CHECK OUT THESE GIANT BALLS, BABY.

TWO GIRLS, ONE GUY.

I LIKE THESE ODDS.

ONE BALL PER GIRL.

DL-LL-LL-LL-LL-LL-LL-LL!

OH, GIRLS OF COSTCO, YES!

OH, YEAH!

OH, GIRLS OF COSTCO!

OH, YEAH, GIRLS OF COSTCO!

OHHH! AHHH!

AH, YEAH.

[ GROANS ] OH, I'M S-- I'M SORRY.

I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.

>> CAN YOU...HELP ME BURN MY BED?

>> HEY, BUDDY, SPARE A CREDIT?

>> SORRY. PRIME DIRECTIVE.

CAN'T INFLUENCE YOUR NATURAL PATH...IN LIFE.

>> BUT I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!

>> I'M...SORRY.

BRO.

[ LIQUID SLOSHES ] OH!

I SHOULD PROBABLY CLEAN THAT UP.

BUT THEN AGAIN, PRIME DIRECTIVE.

[ TONES CHIME ] >> AAAAH!

H-HELP ME!

>> NO!

I'VE ALREADY DONE TOO MUCH DAMAGE TO THE NATURAL ORDER!

PRIME DIRECTIVE!

[ BEEP ] >> KIRK, BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?

YOU PROMISED YOU'D MEET MY PARENTS.

>> SORRY. PRIME DIRECTIVE.

I...CAN'T LET THEM KNOW OF MY EXISTENCE.

>> WELL, THEN, I GUESS I CAN'T GET THAT ABORTION!

>> MM. SORRY I'M LATE.

>> DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE SORRY.

>> WHAT'S THIS ABOUT AN ABORTION?

>> [ GROANS ] ME WALLUPER HASN'T BEEN MILKED

BY A BONNIE IN A FORTNIGHT.

[ SHEEP BLEATING ] AH, GOOD OLD GENTLE BESSIE.

LET ME MOISTEN YOU UP A BIT DOWN THERE FIRST.

AHH...

>> STUART!

WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

>> OH! AYE!

OH, IT'S -- IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

NO, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT, UH, INVENTING A MUSICAL

INSTRUMENT -- YEAH! -- U-USING A SHEEP'S STOMACH AS A -- AS --

AS A BAG THAT YOU BLOW -- YOU BLOW RIGHT INTO.

[ CHUCKLES ] IF I HAD TIME TO PROPERLY

DEMONSTRATE...

>> I'VE GOT NOWHERE TO BE.

[ BAGPIPES PLAY, SLOSHING ] [ SHEEP BLEATING ]

STUART, I'M SORRY.

I HAD NO RIGHT TO JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

>> [ SOBS ] OH, BESSIE!

[ Crying ] OH, GOD.

THAT WAS THE DAY I KILLED THE TWO THINGS I LOVED MOST IN THE

WORLD -- MY BEAUTIFUL BESSIE...

AND MUSIC.

I'D ALSO KILLED MUSIC.

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ] >> NO!

DEFEATED BY RAINBOW BRITE AND HER GAY RAINBOW POWERS!

>> HEY!

WE DON'T USE "GAY" AS A PEJORATIVE IN RAINBOW LAND!

>> A PEJOR-- NO! NO!

I'M JUST SAYING YOU'RE USING YOUR GAY RAINBOW ON ME.

>> AND WHO SAYS THE RAINBOW IS GAY?

>> GAY PEOPLE!

IT'S THE SYMBOL OF THEIR CULTURE!

THEY MAKE FLAGS!

>> Y KNOW AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT IT.

>> YEAH! I'M GAY!

IS THAT A PROBLEM?

>> 'COURSE NOT!

I JUST HAD NO IDEA.

DID KNOW, TWINK?

>> I'M GONNA LEAVE THAT "TWINK" THING ON THE TABLE.

ALL I WAS SAYING IS THAT YOUR ENTIRE OPERATION IS VERY, VERY

GAY, AND THAT'S GREAT.

I HOPE WE'RE AT A PLACE IN OUR CULTURE WHERE WE CAN CALL

SOMETHING GAY AND IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, BECAUSE

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.

>> I'M GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK.

>> HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!??? YOU JUST START BLASTING AT ME

AGAIN, YOU FUCKING HOMOPHOBE?!

>> THAT OSTRICH IS SKIING!

HUH.

>> AND NOW BACK TO NICKELODEOS "THE SECRET WORLD OF

ALEX MACK."

>> AND YOUR PROM QUEEN IS...

ALEX MACK.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ CROWD GASPS ]

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU HAVE MESSED WITH THE

WRONG GIRL, BECAUSE I HAVE THE POWER OF TELEKINESIS!

[ CREAKING ] >> IS THERE A DRAFT IN HERE OR

SOMETHING?

[ RATTLING ] >> OH, THAT'S COOL.

>> TAKE A PICTURE OF ME WITH THE FLOATING TABLE!

>> I CAN ALSO MORPH INTO A PUDDLE.

>> I SHOULD CLEAN UP THIS SPILL HERE.

>> WALTER, WATCH OUT!

>> OW!

[ CROWD GASPS ] I-I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

I JUST -- I BRUISED MY ELBOW.

>> NOW I'M REALLY UPSET!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> NOTHING.

I JUST GLOW WHEN I'M UPSET.

>> OH.

>> UGH! YOU'RE RIGHT -- I SUCK!

THE ONLY OTHER POWER I HAVE IS SHOOTING ELECTRICITY OUT OF MY

FINGERS.

>> WAIT -- YOU CAN SHOOT ELECTRICITY OUT OF YOUR FINGERS?

>> PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE LED WITH THAT.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] [ ALL SCREAM ]

>> WE IMPLANTED TWO INTRACORTICAL MICROELECTRODES

INTO YOUR BRAIN'S MOTOR CORTEX, WHICH CONTROLS LIMB MOVEMENT.

THE INTEGRATION PROCESS WON'T TAKE LONG.

[ WHIRRING ] HEY, DO NOT JERK OFF WITH IT.

>> WELL, THEN, I DON'T WANT IT.

>> MY FELLOW THUNDERCATS, WHEN DANGER IS NEAR, I SHALL HOLD THE

SWORD OF OMENS ALOFT AND YELL OUT A BATTLE CRY.

>> AND WHAT SHALL OUR BATTLE CRY BE, LION-O?

>> I...SHALL HOLD THE SWORD ALOFT NOW AND SEE WHAT COMES TO

ME.

THUNDER...THUNDER...THUNDER...

THUNDERCATS...

I NEED YOU BECAUSE EVIL IS NEAR AND WE ARE FRIENDS AND WE ARE A

TEAM, SO WE MUST COME TOGETHER AND FIGHT BECAUSE THE EYE OF

THUNDERA IS IN THE SKY, AND IT IS SUMMONING EVERYONE TOGETHER,

SO PLEASE COME HERE.

PANTHRO AND TYGRA AND...PANTHRO AND ALSO CHEETARA AND ALSO

WilyKit AND WilyKat AND ALSO SNARF.

I THINK I SAID "PANTHRO" TWICE.

I WON'T DO THAT EVERY TIME.

YES, WE ARE THE THUNDERCATS!

THIS IS OUR BATTLE CRY!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

YOU ARE MY BEST FRIENDS, AND I AM LION-O, AND I AM A

THUNDERCAT, AND YOU GUYS ARE THUNDERCATS, TOO.

MUMM-RA IS NOT A THUNDERCAT.

HE IS BAD, AND WE ARE GONNA WIN AGAINST HIM BECAUSE WE ARE THE

THUNDERCATS, AND THE THUNDERCATS ARE HERE FOR YOU TODAY BECAUSE

WE ARE THE THUNDERCATS.

YEAH!

I'M LION-O.

I HOPE YOU GUYS WROTE THAT DOWN.

>> I LIKED IT.

AAH!

>> BLAGH! EUGGGH!

THIS PIE'S TERRIBLE!

WHAT'S IN IT?!

>> THE LAST HOBO WHO TRESPASSED IN MY YARD.

>> [ GROANS ] [ THUD ]

>> AND NOW THE CYCLE BEGINS ANEW.

>> OH, BOY.

I WISH I WAS A DOTHRAKI.

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

SOOOO COOL...

[ HORSES NEIGH ] OH, BOY! I'M A DOTHRAKI!

I MIGHT HAVE TO WORK A FEW CRUNCHES INTO MY SCHEDULE.

I LOOK LIKE A HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR.

WOW! IT'S KHAL DROGO!

UHHHHH...ENUK CHUK?

BUT I'M NOT A GIRL!

I'M A BRAVE WARRIOR!

[ GASPS ] GUHHHHHHHHH...

[ MUSIC PLAYS ] IT'S NOT TV. IT'S HBO.

>> MY SUN AND STARS TREATS ME LIKE A DOG IN BED.

I NEED TO EARN HIS RESPECT BEFORE I'M TRULY A QUEEN.

>> GIRLFRIEND, YOU GOT TO TAKE CONTROL OF THAT MAN.

FIRST, YOU NEED TO...

[ WHISPERING ] AND THEN YOU JUST...

[ WHISPERING ] ...RIGHT INSIDE HIS...

[ WHISPERING ] >> [ GROANING ]

>> [ SIGHS ] THE ORGASM OF THE NOBLE

SAVAGE -- A BEAUTIFUL SOUND.

[ THUMP ] >> AAAAAAAGH!

>> I THINK I BROKE HIS DICK!

>> YOU BROKE HIS DICK?!

YOU BROKE HIS DICK!

>> I BROKE HIS DICK!

>> YOU BROKE HIS DICK!

>> I BROKE HIS DICK!

I DID EVERYTHING YOU SAID!

>> OKAY, FULL DISCLOSURE -- I DON'T KNOW HOW SEX WORKS.

>> AAAAAH!

>> OH, BOY, THIS JOB IS WAY BETTER!

I GET TO SQUIRE FOR KING ROBERT!

SO, WHAT ARE WE DOING TODAY?

>> THIS IS A BOAR HUNT, YOU IDIOT.

>> WOW! A BOAR HUNT?!

THAT SOUNDS FUN!

[ GIGGLES ] THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

>> ROBERT NEEDS HIS SWORD.

GOOD GOD, THE KING NEEDS HIS SWORD!

>> HUH?

>> AAAAAAAAAH!

>> [ SQUEALS ] >> OH, MY GOD!

OKAY, NEW JOB. NEW JOB.

JUST DON'T MESS THIS ONE UP.

SO, I JUST STAND HERE HOLDING THIS BASKET?

>> SILENCE, FOOL!

THE NEW KING IS SPEAKING.

>> EDDARD STARK, FOR THE CRIME OF TREASON, YOU ARE SENTENCED TO

DEATH.

[ CROWD GASPS ] >> Psst! This is you, fool.

Get in there!

>> [ GASPS ] YAY! I'M ON!

HI, SEAN BEAN.

YOU WERE AWESOME IN "LORD OF THE RINGS."

"ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR."

THAT'S A CLASSIC!

>> AAH!

AAAH!

>> OH, GOSH. I'M SORRY.

SORRY!

OH, NO!

>> AAAAAAAH!

>> WOW! YOU'RE ARYA STARK!

DON'T CRY.

[ Deep voice ] ARYA, THIS IS YOUR FATHER TALKING.

YOU MUST BE BRAVE NOW.

>> AAAAAH!

>> I LIKE THIS GUY.

>> OH, MAN, THAT WAS WAY LESS COOL THAN I THOUGHT.

BUT I DID GET TO SEE THE KHALEESI NAKED.

[ MUSIC PLAYS ] >> AAAAAAAAAAH!

>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

BA-GAWK! BAWK.