Original subtitles

[ THUNDER CRASHES ] >> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ SAWING ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

>> IT'S ALIVE!

[ THUNDER CRASHES ] >> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ SMOOCHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> GLADYS, IT IS TIME.

>> OH, NO.

I'M NOT GOING OUT LIKE A BITCH.

>> WHA-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> KICKING YOUR ASS IS WHAT I'M DOING.

>> NO, YOU AREN'T.

YOU'RE GOING OUT LIKE A BITCH.

>> THAT'S THE THIGH-MASTER MOTHERFUCKER!

OH, REAPER.

>> OH, GLADYS.

>> OH, REAPER.

[ BED SQUEAKING ] >> GRANDMA?

>> [ WHIMPERING ] [ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]

>> COME ON, COME ON.

[ SCREAMS ] >> YOU'RE GONNA FLOOD THE

ENGINE.

DON'T PUMP THE GAS.

[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ] COULD BE YOUR CARBURETOR.

POP THE HOOD.

TRY IT AGAIN.

>> [ SCREAMS ] >> SOUNDS LIKE...YOUR

CARBURETOR.

>> JUST CHECKED.

LOOKS FINE.

>> FUEL PUMP, MAYBE.

>> I COULD JUST CALL THE AUTO CLUB.

[ SCREAMS ] >> DID YOU CHECK THE

DISTRIBUTOR CAP?

IT RAINED LAST NIGHT.

>> YEP, THERE'S WATER IN IT.

OKAY, TRY IT NOW.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] >> YOU FIXED IT.

WOW, THANK YOU.

>> SO, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO NOW, RIGHT?

WHOO!

BEST NIGHT EVER!

>> BEST FRIENDS EVER.

>> BEST ICE CREAM EVER.

>> YOU GUYS GOT ANYWHERE TO BE?

>> ACTUALLY...

>> YEAH, RIGHT HERE.

LET'S CRUISE.

[ TIRES SQUEAL ] >> [ Monotone ] DROP YOUR

WEAPON.

YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO COMPLY.

[ GUN COCKS ] YOU HAVE FOUR SECONDS TO COMPLY.

[ SCREAMING ] >> GET AWAY FROM ME!

>> EDWARD 209, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

>> HE DIDN'T DROP THE GUN, MAMA.

>> HE DID DROP THE GUN.

>> AW, I'M SORRY, MAMA.

>> YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME NOW.

YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO COMPLY.

[ GUN COCKS ] >> OKAY, MAMA.

YOU HAVE FOUR SECONDS TO COMPLY.

>> BUT I SAID "OKAY, MAMA."

>> SEE HOW IT FEELS, EDWARD?

>> WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

>> BUD.

>> WHY.

>> GUYS, I HAVE CIRRHOSIS OF THE LIVER.

>> BUD.

>> WHY?

>> BECAUSE I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.

>> WELL, AFTER CROSSING THE FREEWAY, BASE JUMPING OFF A

CLIFF, AND DODGING BULLETS IN A GANG WAR, WE FINALLY FOUND MY

REPTAR DOLL.

>> TOMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE STREET?

>> OH, THANK GOD.

THEY'VE BEEN LOST FOR HOURS.

WHERE WERE THEY?

>> STU, A WORD.

[ Muffled ] WHAT THE FUCK STU?

>> [ Muffled ] WELL, I'M SORRY.

THE BABIES ESCAPED, AND I -- >> ESCAPED?

THEY'RE BABIES, YOU SACK-LESS MORON.

>> I WAS DOWNSTAIRS, WORKING ON A NEW TOY, AND THEY JUST --

>> OH, A NEW TOY.

NEVER MIND, THEN.

>> DIDI, IF YOU KEEP RIDICULING MY WORK, I-I SWEAR TO GOD --

>> WHAT? YOU'LL HIT ME?

OOH, YOU'RE SUCH A MAN.

[ CRASHES ] >> DIDI, STOP.

>> I' BE THE MAN.

[ THUDDING, CRASHING ] SEE, STU? I'M THE MAN!

>> [ Sobbing ] I WANT A DIVORCE.

>> THESE AL-QAEDA DRIVERS ARE THE BEST, AND THEY PLAN TO

SMUGGLE A NUCLEAR DEVICE ACROSS THE MEXICAN BORDER.

>> GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE.

>> YOU DON'T MEAN -- >> THAT'S RIGHT.

WE'RE GONNA NEED THE BADDEST, BRASHEST, BALLSIEST HOT-SHIT

DRIVERS IN THE WORLD, AND I KNOW JUST THE ASSHOLES.

[ CHEERING ] [ ENGINE REVS ]

[ ENGINE REVVING ] [ CRANKING, POUNDING ]

>> WHOOOO-EE.

>> YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU.

YOU IN?

>> ME AND UNCLE SAM, WE HAVEN'T ALWAYS SEEN EYE-TO-EYE.

>> WE WANT OUR RECORDS SCRUBBED CLEAN.

FULL PARDONS.

>> ONE LAST JOB, AND THEN WE'RE OUT.

>> I'M REALLY CONFUSED, AND I WANT TO GO HOME.

>> GO TEAM!

[ MOANS ] >> I-I-I-I DON'T [GROANS]

[ CAR WHIRRING ] >> NICE REMOTE-CONTROL CAR, YOU

ECCENTRIC BITCH.

I'M GONNA STEP ON IT.

>> WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO PUT ME DOWN, I USE PUNKY POWER.

>> "PUNKY POWER"?

>> [ GROANS ] IT'S WHAT SHE CALLS "BELIEVING

IN YOURSELF."

>> ACTUALLY, PUNKY POWER [Demonic voice] IS THIS.

[ SCREAMING ] >> OH, NO.

I'VE HEARD OF THIS.

THE ELDERS IN MY WORLD SPOKE OF THE CHOSEN ONE FROM EARTH WHO

WOULD POSSESS ULTIMATE POWER.

>> I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD WITH PUNKY POWER.

>> STOP THIS, PUNKY.

DON'T DESTROY THE WORLD.

>> I WAS ABANDONED IN A GROCERY STORE.

WHY SHOULDN'T I DESTROY THE WORLD?

IT DOESN'T NEED ME.

>> BUT I NEED YOU, PUNKY.

YOU'RE LIKE MY REAL DAUGHTER, AND I WOULD NEVER ABANDON YOU --

NEVER!

>> DO -- [ Normal voice ] DO YOU MEAN IT?

>> [ PANTING ] WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THE

BODY?

>> WHO CARES?

SHE'S NOT MY REAL DAUGHTER.

>> BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL...

I HAVE THE POWER!

>> HEY, COULD YOU NOT HAVE THE POWER AT 3:00 A.M.?

SOME OF US HAVE TO WAKE UP IN THREE HOURS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

>> NOTHING MORE FOR YOU HERE, AGENT STARLING.

FLY, FLY, FLY.

>> I BIT MY WRIST.

LOOK AT THE BLOOD!

>> [ GAGS ] >> AGENT STARLING!

MULTIPLE MIGGS WILL SUFFER FOR THAT.

BUFFALO BILL WENT BY AN ALIAS ONCE.

MOFET. M-O-F-E-T.

GO NOW!

>> I REALLY CUT MY WRISTS THIS TIME.

>> ARE YOU HURT?

>> BLAMMO!

>> [ GAGS ] >> AGENT STARLING!

I DIDN'T THINK MIGGS COULD MANAGE AGAIN SO SOON.

THE ANSWER IS IN THE FILE.

WHAT DOES BUFFALO BILL COVET?

GO NOW!

>> YOU WANT TO ADOPT A KITTEN?

>> WHERE'D YOU GET A KITTEN?

>> IT'S FROM MY DICK!

>> [ GASPS ] >> AGENT STARLING!

ARE YOU RETARDED, AGENT STARLING?

STOP LETTING MIGGS HIT YOU WITH HIS SPOOGE.

LOOK, BILL HATES HIS OWN IDENTITY AND HE THINKS THAT

MAKES HIM A TRANSSEXUAL.

GO NOW!

>> WANT TO SEE A MAGIC TRICK?

>> WELL, I LIKE MAGIC.

>> ABRACADABRA!

>> [ GAGS ] >> AGENT STARLING!

MIGGS MUST HAVE HORSE BALLS OR SOMETHING.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

LOOK, BUFFALO BILL WASN'T BORN A KILLER.

HE WAS MADE ONE THROUGH YEARS OF SYSTEMATIC ABUSE.

GO NOW!

AGENT STARLING!

THE EXIT IS RIGHT HERE.

I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA CATCH THAT GUY.

>> YOU KNOW, MR. MAYOR, MORE THAN JUST CHILDREN CELEBRATE

HALLOWEEN.

SO THIS YEAR, WHY DON'T WE CATER OUR CELEBRATION TO ADULTS?

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> ♪ WHEN YOU'RE A CHILD, HALLOWEEN IS SO SWEET ♪

♪ HAUNTED HOUSES, CANDY, AND TREATS ♪

♪ BUT AFTER YOU TURN 18, THERE'S A BRAND-NEW REASON FOR

HALLOWEEN ♪ ♪ THIS IS GROWN-UP HALLOWEEN,

THIS IS GROWN-UP HALLOWEEN ♪ ♪ GROWN-UP, GROWN-UP, HALLOWEEN,

HALLOWEEN ♪ >> ♪ I AM THE GIRL WHO'S DRESSED

LIKE A BEE ♪ >> ♪ THAT'S NOT A BEE, I'VE SEEN

A BEE ♪ >> ♪ I AM THE HERPES IN HER

UNDERWEAR, READY TO JUMP OUT AND GIVE YOU A SCARE ♪

>> ♪ POWERPUFF GIRLS DRINK FROM A FLASK SHARED BY A DOUCHE IN A

NIXON MASK ♪ >> ♪ I DON'T HAVE A CONDOM

ON ME ♪ >> ♪ FUCK IT, THIS IS

HALLOW[RETCHES] ♪ >> ♪ THIS IS GROWN-UP HALLOWEEN,

THIS IS GROWN-UP HALLOWEEN ♪ ♪ GROWN-UP, GROWN-UP,

HALLOWEEN ♪ >> ♪ HALLOWEEN

>> [ SCREAMS ] >> [ COOS ]

>> OUR BABY WILL BE SAFE NOW.

ON EARTH, HE'LL BE A GOD AMONGST MEN.

[ BEEPING, AIR HISSING ] >> TO THINK, YOU'VE FOUND A WAY

TO STOCK ENOUGH FOOD AND OXYGEN TO LAST HIS LONG JOURNEY.

>> I JUST SHOT A DEAD BABY INTO SPACE.

>> IN OTHER NEWS, A TOPOGRAPHICAL MAP OF ETERNIA

HAS FINALLY BEEN COMPLETED.

SNAKE MOUNTAIN IS THE TALLEST PEAK IN ETERNIA.

>> IT BETTER NOT BE.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] COME ON, MAN.

THERE'S CLIF BAR WRAPPERS EVERYWHERE NOW!

>> LITTERING IS EVIL, SKELETOR.

WE'RE EVIL. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

>> OHH, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THIS DEBATE WITH YOU AGAIN,

EVIL-LYN.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT CARTOON EVIL, NOT REAL-WORLD EVIL, WHICH

IS ESSENTIALLY A HEIGHTENED NARCISSISM.

>> PUT IT IN YOUR DISSERTATION, PROFESSOR.

>> WHA-- THERE ARE LAWS!

>> BRO, WE ARE GONNA SUMMIT THIS THING, DUDE.

>> HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE, DUDE.

MOTHERFUCKER! WHEN WE BLOW UP THE PEAK OF

SNAKE MOUNTAIN, IT WILL CEASE TO BE THE HIGHEST POINT IN ETERNIA.

>> THAT SEEMS LIKE CUTTING OFF YOUR NOSE TO SPITE YOUR FACE.

>> WELL, I'VE DONE THAT, TOO, AND I THINK THE RESULTS SPEAK

FOR THEMSELVES.

>> ♪ HE WAS BORN IN THE LAND OF AVION ♪

♪ WITH FEATHERS ON HIS ARMS ♪ AND A SWEET-ASS MANLY BEARD

RIGHT FROM YEAR ONE ♪ ♪ HIS MOTHER CALLED HIM

STRATOS ♪ ♪ HIS DAD CALLED HIM COLLECT

♪ AFTER NEVER COMING HOME FROM A BEER RUN ♪

♪ EACH CLOUD IS A CONFIDANT >> GET...OFF...MY...MOUNTAIN!

[ LAUGHS ] THERE! LIGHT THE FUSE.

[ FUSE SIZZLING ] "ONCE I'M A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY"

IS THE REST OF THAT SENTENCE!

MY ARM! IT'S STUCK!

>> ME TOO!

IT'S "127 HOURS," MAN.

WE'RE FRANCO-ED.

WE'RE FRANCO-ED!

>> WE'RE NOT CUTTING OFF OUR ARMS, JACKASS.

SOMEONE WILL FIND US.

>> YEAH, BUT IF WE WAIT TOO LONG, WE WON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH

TO CHEW THROUGH THE BONE AND TENDON.

>> YEAH, LET'S HAVE A LITTLE LESS "BEAST" AND A LITTLE MORE

"MAN."

[ YAWNS ] SON OF A BITCH!

HE-- WAIT, HE'S A HERO.

HE DID THIS FOR ME.

HE SACRIFICED HIS ARM SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO.

[ WHIMPERS ] OH, THAT STRATOS DOUCHE WAS

RIGHT.

THE SPIRIT OF THE MOUNTAIN -- WAIT, HEY, I HAVE TEAR DUCTS?

WELL, NOTHING TO DO BUT WAIT FOR BEAST-MAN TO BRING HELP.

>> WHERE'S SKELETOR?

>> [ FARTS ] >> [ GROANS ]

SOMETIMES YOU ARE TOO MUCH BEAST.

>> SO I'VE HEARD.

>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

BA-GAWK! BAWK.

>> HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WOULD WORK?

>> I DIDN'T.

>> OH...

[ SMOOCHING ] >> UGH, THAT IS VILE!