Original subtitles

[thunder crashes]

[laughs evilly]

[ sawing ]

[ electricity crackles ]

It's alive!

[thunder crashes]

[laughs evilly]

[ smooch! ]

[laughs evilly]

[inhales sharply] I'll never let go!

[crying]

Oh, Jack, at least you're resting in peace now.

[ Lyrical music playing ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

[dolphin chittering]

[chittering continues ]

[lyrical music continues]

[seals barking]

[ laughs] Revenge, bitch!

♪ B-B-B-B-Blam! Victory dance ♪

♪ Touchdown stance! In your pants ♪

What -- oh, oh, you're not the same cow, are you?

I guess we all just look alike to you.

[whirring weakly]

[ Snorting ]

[sighs]

[whirring loudly]

I'll get you next time, Gadget!

[ Cat screeches ]

[laughing]

[crying]

[ squish! ] Is that cat piss on my chair?!

Damn it!

When you visit a website, the information is saved

in files called cookies. - Cookies!

[munching loudly]

Ow! Why you say "cookies"?!

[munching loudly]

Aren't you going to stop?

[crying] I can't!

[ Beeping ]

My God, this is a greeting from another planet!

This is an historic moment!

[ Beeping ]

Huh. The textbooks are gonna love that one.

[ Beeping ]

Huh.

[ Beeping ]

[ beeping ]

Well, maybe hump means something different in their language.

What do they want, man?!

I wish I knew, Officer Rihanna.

[ Clattering ]

They're humping holes in the hull!

Huh. Turns out "hump" in their language means hump.

[machine gun cocks]

I don't have any idea how to work the gatling gun, child!

Is, uh, is it over?

[ominous music playing]

How on Earth do we stop that thing?

I have an idea!

Rihanna, you're just a multi-platinum recording artist.

How could you possibly help?

Wait a minute. We need counterintuitive thinking,

and Rihanna has some of the worst judgment of all time!

Chris Brown beat her, so she broke up with him.

But then they got back together!

That's insane! She's a genius!

Yeah. [chuckles nervously]

So... thanks!

We've done as Rihanna suggested, sir.

Epcot Center is now filled with nuclear warheads.

Is that really necessary?

Trust me, man, only one thing gonna attract

a giant, humping robot.

Operation ass crack is a go!

[ Clattering ]

Whoa, it's really Chris Browning the hell out of Epcot Center!

[ Clattering continues ]

O-M-G, Kirby, I was such a pig today.

I ate like 50 pieces of fruit.

Yoshi, puh-lease!

I literally inhaled 20 enemies.

Thank God I exhaled most of them.

[gasps] Are you still doing that?!

You promised you wouldn't binge and purge anymore!

Cuh-lick!

Kirby does not need that noise today.

[vomits ]

Hey, it's none of my business, but, uh, you have a problem.

[moaning loudly]

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Can't I be on top for once?

Everyone, rest up! In the morning, we start

the long trip home to confront Hopper and his evil gang.

[ All cheering ]

Excuse me. Uh, Mr. Mayfly, can you keep it down?

We have -- we have a really big day tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Well, my entire life span is three hours,

so fuck your big day.

Oh, a man, at last!

I've already been alive for a half-hour,

and I need to get pregnant, like, now!

Oh, yeah!

[grunting] - Oh!

Oh, my God, this is the best sex of my whole life!

[moaning, laughing]

Aah! Get it out of me!

[screaming]

Look, I've got at least 47 good minutes left in me,

and I'll be damned if I'm gonna waste 'em!

You're a midlife cliché!

[moaning]

Oh, what was the point of it all?!

Live, reproduce, die!

[crying]

It's a sick joke!

A sick [chokes]

Oh!

[sighs] Finally.

Whoo! Party time!

Oh fuck me!

[ Sizzles ]

[all murmuring]

My ancestors were Samurai.

Samurai us an onion volcano, pal!

He is a Samurai.

I just need to use the bathroom.

Uh, is there, like, a toilet in here,

or am I supposed to use this giant fucking litter box?

Oh, is this, like, an improv thing?

You know I hate improv.

No, it'll be fun.

Thousands of us are gonna show up at the same time!

This better be as cool as you're making it seem.

I'll telling you, you are gonna love

being part of a flash mob.

- So hip! - Sticking it to conformity, yeah!

Look how shocked the normals are!

[ All screaming ]

[ laughs ]

This is the best one I've had in years.

Well, it was not me!

[warbling ]

Pluto, do you feel you've been rehabilitated?

This room must be huge!

[indistinct moaning]

You were right to lock up Cheetara and Wilykit,

Thundercats.

They are under the spell of Estrus!

An evil spell? Mumm-ra!

It means they're in heat, Lion-O.

No one is to unlock that door until the spell has passed!

Whew! Okay, okay, just gotta keep our minds off it.

Let's see what's on the old sword today.

[electronic warbling]

[moaning]

Don't do this, Lion-O. Put down the sword.

Put it -- oh, that's so hot!

Lion-O, what are you looking at?!

Uh, nothing! I'm checking on Mumm-ra!

I really hope that's not true.

Oh, you're right! I can't control myself!

No one can! I'm doing this!

Wait, Thundercats, think!

If you do this, you'll just be animals,

mindlessly gratifying your impulses!

Yeah, we're fine with that.

Cool, I was just checking, obviously.

We're going in there.

Ah, sorry, Thundercats.

You'll have to do rock-paper-scissors

for sloppy seconds.

Snarf! Snarf!

Fucking gross!

Once we wrap up the Gladstone account,

we're gonna need another CPA. - Sounds great.

What's your number again? - 324-762...

Uh-huh.

Oh, Oh, son of a bitch.

I accidently set -- I'm so embarrassed.

You should leave. - Hey, happens all the time.

[electronic whirring]

KEN, VOICE OVER: For six months, I couldn't sleep.

I was living in a dream house, but I couldn't dream.

I kept wondering how I got here.

When did I start caring about the dinner-to-dessert tabletop,

the matching pink home exercise set,

the fashion fairy-tale glitterizer?

Oh, I have a crazy day today.

I'm delivering a baby at the hospital,

then swinging by NASA for the launch,

then racing to aerobics.

I was just a secondary feature

in her girl-power, have-it-all world.

I was an accessory.

We all felt it.

Allan Sherwood and I just gave it a name.

The first rule of fight club --

you do not talk about fight club!

The second rule of fight club --

you do not talk about fight club!

Yeah, you think the first two rules

don't need to be identical,

but then there's people like you!

Anyway, the third rule is,

no shoes, no shirts, including Hawaiians.

BOTH: Aw.

And absolutely no Swiss-yodeling outfits!

Fourth rule -- hitting the crotch is okay

'cause let's face it, we're all smooth down there.

Okay, let's fight!

[ All cheering ]

Your first night of fight club,

your ass was a wad of play-doh.

By the end of that week,

you looked like you were cut out of molded plastic.

Fight club became the reason we stayed in shape,

trimmed our nails, did our hair.

Wait, wait! ls my hair okay?!

Yeah, it hasn't even moved.

All right, cool, cool. Let's go.

[ All cheering ]

It was our place to finally get it all out and let it all go.

I hate that you pick out my clothes!

I hate that the mortgage for the dream house

is in your name!

I hate never getting to drive the Corvette!

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

[vomits ]

At fight club, we all got our lives back.

'Cause our new nihilist world view taught us

to stop caring about that which did not matter.

Can you believe we used to buy into that bullshit?

[all scoffing, chuckling]

[indistinct shouting]

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk! Bawk.