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1
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:05,973
[thunder crashes]
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,809
[laughs evilly]
3
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,978
[ sawing ]
4
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,019
[ electricity crackles ]
5
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,887
It's alive!
6
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,396
[thunder crashes]
7
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,400
[laughs evilly]
8
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,402
[ smooch! ]
9
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,870
[laughs evilly]
10
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:38,973
♪ La la ♪'
11
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,610
And that was "La La La La La-la
La-la La-la La,"
12
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,511
smurfing up the charts.
13
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,714
Before that we heard
"La La La La-la La-la La-la."
14
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:48,115
Now, at number 84,
15
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,251
here's "La-la La,
La-la La-la."
16
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,153
♪ La La La-la La ♪
17
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,320
♪ Smurf radio ♪
18
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,322
[gun cocks, gunshot]
19
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,391
♪ [video-game music plays] ♪
20
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,233
[beep]
21
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,602
[ pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! ]
22
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:09,837
[ power-up beeping ]
23
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,572
[vomits ]
24
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:12,973
[ pop! ]
25
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,976
It's time to take down
the master control program!
26
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,445
But, Tron, are we powerful
enough?
27
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,512
Don't worry.
28
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,115
There's a new program
on the grid that can help us.
29
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,183
Hey, Basic!
30
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,784
Hello.
31
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:27,288
Let's see. "10, print, master control
program eats farts.
32
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,656
20, goto 10."
33
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,658
[computer beeping ]
34
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,460
I do not!
35
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,963
ANNOUNCER:
Prepare yourself for animation intensity with...
36
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,598
"The Street Sharks"!
37
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:40,835
It's in-your-face, half-man,
half-shark action that's...
38
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,170
totally different
from The Ninja Turtles!
39
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,839
Think this is a story
about four animals
40
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,440
turning into fun-loving teens?
41
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,943
[ buzzer]
Think again!
42
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,712
It's about four teens
who turn into animals!
43
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:52,780
[ roars ]
44
00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:55,549
And when it comes to fun,
they can take it or leave it!
45
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,918
[surfer accent]
Whoa! Now, that's a fresh take!
46
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,588
Plus, you won't hear any
hackneyed turtle puns
47
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,389
on this show!
48
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,591
ALL:
Jawsome!
49
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,359
And if you're waiting
for the street sharks
50
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,161
to eat pizza or
mention liking pizza,
51
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,063
well, buddy, I hope you don't
have somewhere to be,
52
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,132
'cause it's gonna be
a long wait!
53
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:13,000
- We like hamburgers!
- And hot dogs!
54
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:15,102
[alarm wailing]
Unique character alert!
55
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,871
Unique character alert!
56
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,006
"The Street Sharks,"
this Saturday!
57
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:21,775
It's one shell
of a good time --
58
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:22,843
Oh, wait.
59
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,847
[ neighs]
Welcome to my book!
60
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,917
When you hear my magical
unicorn noise...
61
00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:31,652
[ twinkle!]
62
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,921
...you'll know it's time
to turn the page!
63
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:34,922
Let's try it.
64
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:35,923
[ twinkle! ]
65
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,959
What a lovely day to prance
through the forest.
66
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,528
Say, do you hear voices?
67
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:41,529
[ children giggling]
68
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,530
[ twinkle!]
69
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,099
Those kids look like they're
having fun.
70
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,668
But I know how to make it
even more fun!
71
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:48,669
[ twinkle! ]
72
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,770
[ laughs ]
73
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,373
Come and get your clothes,
if you can!
74
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,707
[ twinkle! ]
75
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,709
Want to have fun like us?
76
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,379
Maybe you should lose
those clothes!
77
00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,547
[ twinkle! ]
78
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,849
Really!
Get those clothes off!
79
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:02,883
[ twinkle! ]
80
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,685
I'm dead serious, kids.
81
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:05,686
[ twinkle !]
82
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,455
[ neighs contentedly ]
There you go.
83
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,623
[ twinkle! ]
84
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,392
Know what's also fun?
85
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,993
Licking this book!
86
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,796
I can only do one thing
at a time!
87
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,665
♪ [video-game music plays] ♪
88
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,536
[ light switch click s]
89
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,807
Oh, the monotony of being
a cobbler!
90
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:27,975
I wish I was dead.
91
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,044
Don't worry!
We'll help you!
92
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,712
[gasps]
Thank you!
93
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:32,713
[shing!]
94
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:33,981
[all grunting]
95
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,716
Still... better than...
cobbling!
96
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:36,784
[groans]
97
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,086
Oh, it says here people are
still reading newspapers.
98
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:40,721
[ screams ]
♪ [suspenseful music plays] ♪
99
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,624
This human is defecating.
100
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,493
Feces is hard to clean off
our micro-servers.
101
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:51,932
We will wait until the human
is finished defecating.
102
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,567
[music stops]
103
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:56,237
Well, I can't go if I know
you're gonna kill me!
104
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:59,373
And we can't kill you
unless you go.
105
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,342
[ Electricity crackles ]
Paradox! Paradox!
106
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,078
Paradox! Paradox!
107
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,479
Oh, thank God.
108
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,915
[ Groans, farts ]
109
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:10,484
And now the HBO
original series
110
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,753
"Boardwalk Monopoly."
111
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,822
Roll the dice.
Take your chances.
112
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:17,591
That's the Atlantic City way.
113
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,560
You can't build a hotel
on Baltic!
114
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,829
The houses are people's homes!
115
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,931
I own those houses!
116
00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:27,268
It's called a monopoly, bitch!
117
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,536
The community chest is yours
for the taking, Pennybags!
118
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,306
You're damn right it is!
[growling ]
119
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,075
You really gonna fix the
beauty pageant for me, mister?
120
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,144
No problem!
I'm the chairman of the --
121
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:38,646
bruuu-ohhhh!
122
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,081
And for 2nd place,
she wins $10!
123
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,650
That pig!
124
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,419
I knew someday it'd be
you and me in jail together.
125
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,854
Not me, old friend.
126
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,555
I'm just visiting.
[ laughs ]
127
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,291
You backstabbing bastard!
128
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,792
I came here with nothing.
129
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,328
Then I landed on free parking
and won the pot!
130
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,729
That's not a real rule!
131
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,364
It's how I play!
132
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,365
[dog whines]
133
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,902
Hey, let's have sex
in the men's room!
134
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:05,205
[ whir! ] Danger!
Danger, Will Robinson!
135
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,574
[slurred] My name isn't
Will Robinson.
136
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,312
It doesn't matter.
She has crabs!
137
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,447
[utensils clinking]
138
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,816
- Wine?
- I don't drink...
139
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,685
wine.
140
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,753
Oh.
Uh, perhaps a beer, then?
141
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,588
I don't drink...
142
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,656
been
143
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,391
[chuckling ] All right.
Well, how about a stiff one?
144
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,926
I make a mean
Harvey Wallbanger.
145
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,928
I don't drink...
146
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,663
w-whatever you just said.
147
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,532
Oh, all right.
I'll get you a glass of water.
148
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,334
I don't drink...
149
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,868
water.
150
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,304
Boy, you're rackin' up
the weirdo points.
151
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:38,505
You know that, buddy?
152
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,407
I don't like...
you.
153
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,276
Well, I don't like you!
154
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,411
Ariel, listen to your papa!
155
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,581
You're not supposed to stray
so far from home!
156
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,184
But, Sebastian,
this is New York City,
157
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,087
and we're in the world-famous
East River!
158
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,622
Those are just human
nonsense words!
159
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,458
They don't mean anything!
160
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,426
But look at their treasures!
161
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,895
♪ Check out these things ♪
162
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,831
♪ Aren't they cool? ♪
163
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:08,035
♪ How would you sit upon this
type of stool? ♪
164
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:11,739
♪ What if the wonders above
are closer than they...
165
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,575
appear to be? ♪
166
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,877
♪ I wanna be a New Yorker ♪
167
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:20,247
♪ I wanna see,
wanna see 'em dancin' ♪
168
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,449
♪ Going to clubs until dawn,
169
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,519
and then throwing up
interesting things like this ♪
170
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,088
I think
it's called "adderall."
171
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,991
♪ Ridin' the subway,
it takes you far ♪
172
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,394
♪ Central Park, Bloomingdale's,
173
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,229
Staten Island ♪
174
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:38,132
Or the place where this shirt
came from that says...
175
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,033
♪ "Slutville" ♪
176
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,604
♪ Up where they walk,
up where it shines ♪
177
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:47,040
♪ Up where I'm sure their team
wins all the time ♪
178
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:50,344
♪ Up there it's stable,
eating a bagel ♪
179
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,512
♪ Up in New Yoooooooooooo-- ♪
180
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:52,946
[seagulls cry]
181
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,348
Ugh! Ugh!
182
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:57,351
One of those flying rats just
shit in my mouth!
183
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,753
I am Robin Hood.
184
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:03,724
I steal from the rich,
and I give to the poor!
185
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,793
This necklace is
covered in jewels!
186
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,094
I'm rich!
187
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,830
Oh, geez.
That's true.
188
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:10,431
Aah!
189
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:11,999
[ crying ]
Me beggin' hand!
190
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,400
Ha ha!
No, wait.
191
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,436
If I steal from the rich,
they become poor,
192
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,839
and if I give to the poor
they become rich!
193
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,409
Paradox! Paradox! Paradox!
194
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,478
♪ [video-game music plays] ♪
195
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,681
[ beep ]
196
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,987
[ burps ]
197
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,123
[ warble, beep-beep ]
198
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:39,193
To infinity and beyond!
199
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:54,541
NARRATOR:
In a town called Los Angeles, people felt groovy,
200
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,945
for The Lorax had opened one
hell of a movie.
201
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,881
The studio's happy,
the parties were tasteful,
202
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,250
but poor Mr. Lorax
found it all wasteful.
203
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,218
This sucks.
204
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,787
He complained, as they
toasted Cristal.
205
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,289
They haven't been listening
to me at all.
206
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,658
Then out popped The Moolah,
a marvelous chap,
207
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:14,728
while The Lorax droned on
with his usual crap.
208
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,430
My name is The Lorax.
209
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,831
I speak for the trees.
210
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,567
But the mubbulous Moolah
just did one of these.
211
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,803
And, rolling his eyes,
interrupted...
212
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,004
Oh, please.
213
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,940
Our planet is fucked
and you're earnest as hell,
214
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,109
but that hippity-dippity crap
doesn't sell.
215
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,945
We can all make a difference,
no matter how tiny!
216
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,014
He said, and The Moo/ah
shot back...
217
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,382
God, you're whiny.
218
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:37,551
Nobody likes a shrill
liberal shouter.
219
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,954
So I fixed up your film
with my new message-outer.
220
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,457
It snipped out your message.
Dude, morals are lame.
221
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,893
The real money's made
in the merchandise game.
222
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,961
And then, With a big, mighty
roar from his trunk,
223
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,198
appeared Horton the Elephant
washing his junk.
224
00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:52,566
Oh, Lorax.
225
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,500
...said Horton.
226
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,868
I know how you feel.
227
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,771
I once had a whole
goody-goody-type spiel.
228
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,440
A person's a person
no matter how small!
229
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,477
Let me tell you -- that shit
didn't catch on at all.
230
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,880
So I got a new look, a new name,
something blunter.
231
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:12,052
I've re-branded myself now as
Horton: Who Hunter.
232
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,421
From the shadows,
The Cat in the Hat overheard
233
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:16,056
and approaching The Lorax said...
234
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,024
What up, nerd?!
235
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,192
You taught the kids to
responsibly play.
236
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,928
But the Cat in the Hat said...
237
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,462
That crap didn't pay!
238
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,897
Forget cleaning house.
239
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,766
I'm straight cleaning up, guy!
240
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:29,002
Now I'm off to go hang
with Jamiroquai.
241
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,138
I'm living the dream,
and if parents are pissed,
242
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,941
they can put in a call
to my new publicists --
243
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:37,177
Thing 1 and Thing 2,
they're both on my payroll.
244
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,645
The Lorax was stunned.
245
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,347
Holy crap!
What an a-hole!
246
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,915
No more!
- ...said The Lorax.
247
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,450
No more of these speeches!
248
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:44,851
How 'bout just one more?
249
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,286
You remember the sneetches?
250
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,523
We once had a message,
and a good one, too, bro.
251
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,024
But did we get a movie?
252
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,192
Well, did we?
253
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,360
ALL:
Hell, no!
254
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,430
We tried to teach tolerance,
and where did that get us?
255
00:09:56,496 --> 00:10:00,167
So fuck it! We'd rather make
mountains of lettuce!
256
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,802
There's my house.
257
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,670
It's 12 stories
with 40 jacuzzis,
258
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,807
6 cars, 19 butlers,
unlimited floozies.
259
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,209
It's what it's about, man.
It's capitalism.
260
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,879
And The Lorax responded
with geysers of jism.
261
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,248
Thanks to The Moolah,
that marketing whore,
262
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,118
he could finally see
what he hadn't before.
263
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,754
I'll get me an agent,
an accountant named Herschel,
264
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,924
a toy line, a lunchbox,
an lHop commercial.
265
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:27,027
Then The Lorax go! rich
and was totally stoked --
266
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:30,097
'til the day he contracted AIDS
and then croaked.
267
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,031
What?!
268
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:32,099
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,266
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk ♪
270
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,402
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
271
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,536
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:37,537
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk ♪
273
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,706
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
274
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:40,774
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
275
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:41,842
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk ♪
276
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,044
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
277
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,113
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
278
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,000
Geez, I shoulda
packed a lunch!
20009
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