Original subtitles

[music playing]

- The Coca-Cola Company proudly presents the most famous family

in America--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky, the Nelson family.

- Here's a great new idea--

supper sandwiches and Coke.

These tasty sandwiches can be put together in a jiffy,

and, mm, are they good.

For instance, the easy buffet, here's how it's made.

Arrange layers of sliced chicken in a baking dish,

then mix diced pimentos with a can of mushroom soup.

Pour over the chicken in a smooth layer,

top with grated cheese, and bake in an oven until brown.

Then, simply pour over toast and serve up

the tastiest dish ever put together

in the wink of a chef's eye.

And for that crowning touch, king-size Coca-Cola.

Only Coca-Cola gives you that refreshing new feeling,

that special zing that brightens every bite.

And king-sized Coke will last the whole meal through.

Right now, your grocer is featuring

ingredients for these great supper sandwiches.

Pick up your recipes and cartons of king-size Coca-Cola

next time you shop.

- And now, the Coca-Cola Company invites you to enjoy "The

Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet."

- Oh, yeah, I realize that.

Oh, and next time, I'll try to call you a little sooner.

OK.

Bye.

- No luck, huh?

- No, she's got a date.

- You can take your finger away now,

unless you want to go with the door prize.

How's it look?

- Looks very nice.

- You think the ribbon goes with the paper?

- Yeah, I do. It looks fine.

- You really like it?

- Well, yes, I do.

- I don't like it.

- I guess it doesn't look so good after all.

- Look, there's a big box with ribbons in it

in the hall closet.

Would you get it for me?

- OK.

- Well, I ought to keep this thing up to date.

Two of these girls are married, and three of them

have moved out of town.

- Having a little date trouble this week, huh?

- Well, I guess you can call it that.

I waited until the last minute, and now I can't get a date.

- How about Joyce Maynard?

You haven't mentioned her in quite a while.

- Well, as I remember, the last time I had a date with her,

she and Ricky went to the movies.

- Well, how'd that happen?

- Well, I got a cold, and he pinch hit for me.

- That was nice of him.

- I'm not so sure.

I think he took her out several times after that.

- Who's that?

- Joyce Maynard.

- Oh, yeah, whatever happened to her?

I haven't seen her in months.

- Uh, Harriet, where did you say that box was?

- In the hall closet, on the shelf!

- There are a lot of boxes up here.

- The big one!

Well, I see you found it.

- Yep.

- You look beautiful, Pop.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- You ought to give him as the door prize.

- I can't.

That's how I got him.

- What are you saving all this junk for, anyway?

- It's not junk.

There are a lot of pretty bows and things here.

- Yeah, but you've never used all these.

I'll bet you've had some of them for 10 or 15 years.

- Here's one that says, "Congratulations

to the newlyweds."

- Does not, that came on a Christmas present last year.

- Well, why don't you throw this stuff out?

When you want some ribbon, go buy it.

- Well, that's no fun.

- Hey, this looks like a Christmas present.

- Where'd you get that? - Right here on the floor.

It must have fallen out of the box.

- Well, that's funny.

- Well, it probably got lost under the Christmas tree,

and then when you scooped up all the ribbons and stuff,

you put that in the box, too.

- Well, Merry Christmas to somebody from somebody.

There's no card on it.

Maybe it fell off.

Maybe it's in the box someplace.

- Well, here we go again.

- Oh, wait a second.

- Did you find a card?

- No, but this is just a color I need for the door prize.

- That's great, but what about the present?

- I guess you might as well open it.

- Yeah, I guess we might as well.

- Careful!

Don't squash the bow.

- Hey, this is very nice.

- Yeah.

- The only trouble is it could be for any of us.

- Gee, this is kind of embarrassing.

- Sure is.

Somebody gave one of us this beautiful pen-and-pencil set

and hasn't been thanked for it.

- Well, it's too late to worry about it now.

Come on, let's get this stuff picked up.

- Uh, Pop?

- Yeah?

- Well, this is only a suggestion, but until we

find out who the present belongs to,

why don't we leave it out where we can all keep an eye on it?

- I'll second the motion.

- [chuckles] Yeah, it sounds fair enough.

- Going somewhere, Pop?

- No, I'm just looking these over,

trying to remember who gave me what for Christmas.

I know I got quite a few ties.

And I figure if I narrow it down,

I can find out who gave me the pen-and-pencil set.

- Gave you?

- Well, or whatever.

Uh, I know your mother gave me this.

And I'm quite sure this was a gift for Mr. Randolph.

- It was from me, Pop.

- Oh, really?

- To me.

- Oh!

Sorry, Dave.

Oh, yeah.

Here's the one Mr. Randolph gave me.

Looks like something he'd pick out, doesn't it?

- Gee, I kind of like it, Pop. - Oh, here.

Help yourself.

- Oh, thanks.

- Here, I'll take these two.

- Wait a second.

They aren't yours.

- Well, Dave's got two.

- One of these was mine anyway.

- Well, then here.

Have another one.

- Thanks, but I don't have anything to go with it.

- Here.

Have a sport coat.

- Here's a pair of slacks to go with that red tie.

- Oh, well, thanks.

- You don't mind, do you, Pop? - No.

As a matter of fact, it'll be kind of interesting to see

how those slacks look on you.

They're your mother's.

Did you get any ideas?

- Well, it can't be Clara.

She was pink and white with silver dots.

- What's this?

- That's the kind of wrapping paper she used for Christmas.

- Oh.

- And it can't be Sally.

She doesn't like green.

- Well, maybe somebody gave us two presents,

and we didn't realize it.

- Yeah, that's possible.

- And now wait a minute.

What did Doc Williams give me for Christmas?

- Gee, I don't know.

- Well, come to think of it, he didn't give me anything.

I'll bet this is from Doc.

- Well, if it is, he's probably been wondering all this while

why you never thanked him.

- Well, I thought he used kind of a dull needle the last time

he gave me a shot.

- Well, why don't you call him up and explain what happened?

- I suppose I might as well.

You'd think I'm crazy calling him in April to thank him

for a Christmas present.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Oh, uh, hiya, Doc. This is Oz.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

What can I do for you?

- Uh, well, gee, I know this sounds ridiculous,

but I called to thank you for the beautiful Christmas

present you sent me.

- You mean last Christmas?

- Yeah.

Didn't you send me a pen-and-pencil set?

- What's this, a gag or something?

You know darn well we agreed not to exchange gifts.

In fact, now that you bring it up,

I don't remember even getting a Christmas card from you.

- Well, I sent you a card.

I'm sure I did.

We always do.

- Well, now what's this about a pen-and-pencil set?

- Oh, uh, well, don't worry about it.

I'll check with you later, Doc.

Yeah.

So long.

Well, it didn't come from Doc.

Oh, hi, Joe.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

Hey, careful, that paint's wet.

- Hey, this is going to look nice.

- Thanks.

I think so.

- It looked nice when you had the Christmas lights

strung across there, too.

- I didn't have them back here.

- Oh, really?

I thought you had them-- well, it

would have looked nice if you had had them

strung across there.

- Yeah, I suppose so.

- Say, uh, speaking of Christmas, last Christmas,

that is, did I ever thank you for the beautiful presents

you gave me?

- Yeah, I think you did.

- Well, I wasn't sure.

You know how easy it is to forget a thing like that.

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess it is at that.

- You don't do it intentionally, but it just sort of slips

your mind.

And when a person gives you a Christmas present,

you kind of feel he should acknowledge it.

- Oh, sure, naturally.

Oz, will you hold this for me a minute?

I have to see Clara about something.

- OK.

- Be right back.

Clara?

- Oh, well, that didn't take long.

Did you finish already? - No, not yet.

Look, did you send the Nelsons a "thank you" note

for the ashtray they gave us last Christmas?

- Last Christmas?

- Shh!

Pipe down.

Did you thank them?

- 'Course I did.

- Are you sure?

- Of course I'm sure.

- Look, either you did or you didn't.

- All right, I did, I think.

What's this all about?

- Well, Oz is outside, dropping big hints that we didn't

thank them for the ashtray.

- We didn't!

- I thought you said we did!

- We thanked the Darbys.

They gave us the ashtray.

- They did?

- Or was it the Bensons?

Or was it the Randolphs?

- Clara, we're the Randolphs.

- I know that.

And what did the Nelsons give us?

- I don't know. That's what I asked you.

- You did not.

You asked me if I thanked him for it.

- Well, look, what am I going to say to Oz?

He's right outside.

- Well, you'd better thank him for something.

- Maybe I'll stay in here for a while

and then thank him for painting the garage.

- It's very embarrassing to find a gift

and not know who it came from.

- I can imagine.

- Well, to get right to the point,

I know you gave us those lovely towels,

but you didn't, by any chance, give us a pen-and-pencil set

too, did you?

- No, we didn't.

- Pardon me.

I'll check you off the list.

- I did give Darb a pen-and-pencil set

for Christmas, though.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

Say, you don't suppose he gave it to Ozzie, do you?

- Oh, I don't think so.

- Now that I think about it, I've never seen him use it.

How about that guy?

And I spent my last two books of trading stamps on it.

- Grandma Nelson sent me these slippers.

- OK.

- What did Grandma Haya give us?

- Toll House cookies.

We ate 'em the same day.

Well, that takes care of the family.

How about the fraternity?

- Well, I didn't get anything from any of the guys,

except for that deal where we exchanged dollar gifts.

- Oh, yeah.

I got this back-scratcher from Wally.

What did he give you?

- Well, don't you remember?

He gave me a note that said, "I owe you a dollar present."

- How's it coming, boys?

You get any ideas? - I don't think it's for us.

We checked off all our friends.

- How about you and Mom?

- Well, if it's for either of us,

I sure don't know where it came from.

- I have a suggestion.

Why don't we stop worrying about where it came from

and decide who gets it? - Yeah, that sounds good.

Let's toss for it.

- What about Mom?

- I'll, uh, toss for your mother.

Well, she lost.

- Odd man gets a pen-and-pencil set.

Heads.

- Heads. - Tough luck, boys.

Tails.

Looks like I win.

- Uh, wait a second, Pop.

Just for the record, could I see the other side?

- Yeah.

You guys sure are suspicious.

- Don't forget, we know you pretty well, Pop.

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

- Oh, hi.

- Well, congratulate me.

I found out who sent the pen-and-pencil set.

- No kidding! Who?

- Well, you see that number?

That's the salesperson's number and the date.

They do that down at the emporium

when they sell something as a gift.

- Well, never mind the big explanation.

Who's it from? - I may not tell you.

- Oh, come on now, Mom. Who's it from?

- Well, I figured that if it had been charged,

they could trace it down, so I went down there

and talked to the manager.

He was very nice about it.

- Uh, Harriet.

- Oh, all right.

Who do you think bought it?

- I haven't the slightest idea, and I'm dying to know.

Please tell me.

- Joyce Maynard.

- No kidding!

- Joyce Maynard?

Who's Joyce Maynard?

- Well, she's a girl I was going with around Christmas time.

- Oh!

Well, then the pen-and-pencil set was for you.

- Yeah.

- Did you give her anything?

- No, I didn't.

- And you're still going with her?

- No, and this may explain why.

- Well, at least this solves the mystery.

- Now all I have to do is explain to Joyce

why I didn't thank her.

- Well, lots of luck.

- Yeah, good luck.

- Uh, Pop?

- Yeah?

- My pen-and-pencil set?

- Oh!

Merry Christmas.

[music playing]

- Hey, Dave?

- Oh, hi, Rick. - Hi.

Have you seen Joyce? - No, not today.

- Well, I have to find her.

I have to thank her for the present.

- What's your hurry? It's only been four months.

- Well, I can't help that.

Besides, she'll understand.

- You hope.

- Well, it's the truth, and I got you to back me up.

- You hope.

- What do you mean by that?

- Well, after all, I was going with her first.

If I hadn't gotten a cold and let you go out with her,

I'd still be going with her.

- That wasn't a very smart move on your part, was it?

- Hey, Dave, Rick!

- Hi, Bruce.

- Hey, Bruce, you're just the guy I'm looking for.

Have you seen Joyce Maynard? - Yeah.

Last I saw, she was heading for the malt shop.

- Oh, good.

- Oh, you heard about it, too, huh?

- Heard about what?

- Oh, her folks just bought a cabin up at Pine Lake.

They got a speedboat and everything.

- No kidding? - Yeah.

Darn it, and I had to go get engaged last week.

I'll see you. - OK.

- I think I'll go over to the malt shop

and see if I can catch up with her.

- Wait for me. I'll go with you.

- OK, you can back up my story.

- Story? What story?

- You're wasting your time, David.

She'll never take you out on a speedboat.

You catch cold too easily.

- That's what you think.

[men laughing]

There she is.

- Oh, yeah.

- And then Daddy said, "If you're a good girl,

you can have the boat every weekend of the months beginning

with J."

And I said, "Remember now, Daddy, that

means June, July, and Jaugust--" [laughter] "And Jeptember,

and Joctober."

[laughter]

- Something tells me the word's gotten around.

- Well, go ahead.

What are you waiting for?

- Well, I can't talk to her with all those guys around.

- Well, why not? What difference does that make?

- Well, it's not only that, but how's it going to look?

She gives me a nice Christmas present,

I don't thank her for it, then four months later,

when her dad gets a house at the lake with a speedboat,

I show up with a big story about suddenly finding the gift

in a ribbon box in the closet.

- Well, now that you put it that way,

it does sound a little fishy.

- This whole thing is your fault, you know.

- Me? What did I do?

- Well, if you hadn't caught a cold,

I never would have gone out with her in the first place.

- You're kidding, of course.

- No.

Come on, let's get out of here.

- Hey, you guys.

Have you seen Judy or, uh, Joyce, or whatever her name is?

- Yeah, she's right in there. Can't miss her.

- Oh, thanks.

- What I don't understand is how the present got over here

in the first place.

- I don't remember Joyce coming over here at Christmastime.

- Neither do I.

- Well, I noticed a lot of attractive girls

when you guys had the open house.

- You sure did.

- A lot of them.

- Say, doesn't Joyce have a younger brother?

- Yeah.

- Well, wasn't he one of the kids who came over here

to borrow the basketball?

- You know, I think you're right,

and that was just before Christmas.

- It seems to me he had a present with him.

- Well, that's probably what happened.

Joyce told him to put it under the tree to surprise Rick.

- It sounds kind of strange, but I guess

that's what must have happened.

- Well, at least the mystery's solved.

- Yeah, but a lot of good that's going to do me.

- Hey, wait a second.

How does this sound?

Suppose you re-wrap the pen-and-pencil set just the way

it was.

- In the same paper?

- Well, yeah, which you have saved, naturally.

- Naturally.

- And then Rick goes over to Joyce's house and hides

it someplace where she'll be sure to find it.

- And you mean she'll figure it never was delivered?

- That's right.

- Sounds dishonest to me.

- Well, let's put it this way.

It'll help resolve an embarrassing situation.

- Well, you've convinced me, Pop.

- Me, too. - Me, too, Pop.

Ozzie?

Ozzie?

- Here you go, Mom.

Pop sent me as a replacement.

- Oh, put your finger right there.

There you are. How's it look?

- Fine.

You'd never know it had been open.

- Did you call Joyce?

- I just thought I'd drop in on her and take my chances.

- Well, if you get caught, don't tell her

I had anything to do with it. - OK, Mom.

- All set? - Yeah.

- What kind of excuse you going to give her for dropping by?

- What do you mean?

- Well, you have to tell her something.

You haven't seen her in three or four months.

- Oh, it hasn't been that long.

- Oh, no?

How long has it been since Christmas?

- Well-- well, I'll think of something.

- Oh, I wouldn't make a big production out of it.

Why don't you just tell her that you happened

to be in the neighborhood?

- So I thought I'd stop by and say hello.

- Well, I'm glad you did. Come on in.

- Oh, thanks.

- It's been a long time.

- Yeah, it sure has. - How's Dave?

- Oh, fine.

- Oh, by the way, I have some news for you.

My folks just bought a place on the lake.

- Oh, isn't that nice?

- You remember my dad.

- Oh, sure. Hi, Mr. Maynard.

- Oh, hi there, uh--

- Rick Nelson. - Oh, sure.

You took Joyce to the, uh--

- Um, Rick hasn't been here since Christmas.

- Now I remember.

How's the cold?

- Uh, that was my brother, Dave.

- Well, yes. Yes, of course.

Well, now that I straightened that out,

let me have your jacket.

- Uh, actually, I can't stay very long.

- Don't be silly.

You just got here.

- If you let go, I'll hang it up.

Nice seeing you again, Dave-- uh, Rick.

- Oh, thank you.

Same to you.

- Come on and sit down.

- OK.

- Rick?

- Oh.

- Well, how have you been?

- Oh, uh, fine. Thanks.

How have you been?

- Oh, just fine.

Would you like a Coke?

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- I'll just be a minute.

- Take your time.

- Well, hello, Dave!

- Oh, uh, hi, Mrs. Maynard.

I'm Rick. - Oh.

Oh, of course. I'm sorry.

Mr. Maynard tells me you got over your cold.

- Oh, uh, yes, I did.

- Won't you come in the living room and sit down?

- Oh, uh, OK.

- Well, here we are.

- I found poor Rick standing out in the hall,

so I asked him to come into the living room and sit down.

- Oh, thank you.

- Well, it was nice seeing you again.

- Nice seeing you again.

- Oh, by the way, there are some cookies out in the kitchen.

Why don't you get some for Dave? - Rick.

- Rick.

- Would you like some?

- Yeah, that'd be fine.

- OK, I'll be right back.

Rick?

- Oh, uh, here I am.

- Where were you?

- I had to get something out of my jacket.

- Oh.

Here are the cookies.

- Oh, yeah, they look good.

- Oh, just a minute. I'll get you a coaster.

- Oh, thanks.

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

- How do you like our new sofa?

- Uh, you mean this is new?

- Yes.

- Did you get it after Christmas?

- Yes, just a couple of weeks ago.

How do you like it?

- It's, uh, very nice.

- That's funny.

It feels like a spring is loose.

- Oh, uh, would you get me a napkin?

- OK.

- Well, why don't you just buy some new ribbon?

- What for?

I've got a whole box full.

You know I never throw away things like that.

- Does your mother save ribbon, too?

- Yes, sir. She sure does.

- Wait a second. Now I remember.

It's on the top shelf of the hall closet.

- Well, make up your mind, dear.

- Can I help you? - Hmm?

Uh, no thanks. - Well, I'd be glad to.

- Oh, that's OK.

It's no trouble.

- Harry.

- Well, I couldn't help it.

You can help me now, Rick.

- You really think it'll work? - Well, I don't see why not.

They must have found the present by now.

In fact, I expect her over here any minute now to apologize.

- Apologize? For what?

- Well, she turned down a couple of dates

with me just because I didn't thank her for a gift

I never received.

- Sounds good.

- I figure I'll forgive her and let

her invite me up to the lake.

You know, actually, she's a very attractive girl.

I don't know why you gave her up.

[doorbell rings] Oh, see?

What'd I tell you?

Here she is.

- Hi, boys. - Hi, fellas.

- Hi, Mr. Randolph. - Are your folks home?

- Yes, sir, in the den.

They're watching television.

Mom, Pop, the Randolphs are here.

- Oh, hi!

- Oh, don't get up.

- What happened to Joyce? - Don't worry.

She'll be here. - I'm not worried.

[doorbell rings]

- See?

What'd I tell you?

- Hi, Rick, Dave.

- Oh, hi.

- Are your folks home? - They're in the den.

- Hi, Rick. Hello, David.

- Hi, Mr. Darby.

- Well, hello! - Oh, hi!

- Hello, everybody!

[chatter]

[doorbell rings]

- This one's on me.

Oh, hi, Joyce!

- Hi, Dave.

It's a little late, but Merry Christmas.

- What's this?

- Well, it's a long story.

See, I bought this for you for Christmas,

but it was never delivered.

- For me?

- Yes.

- Oh!

Gee, thanks.

Uh, come on in.

- This is kind of embarrassing, but I've been sort of upset

with you for four months now.

See, I thought you received the gift,

but just weren't interested enough to thank me.

- I'm glad we got it all straightened out.

Would you like to go down to the malt shop with me

and celebrate?

- Oh, I'd love to.

- I'll get my coat.

- OK.

- Shh. - [WHISPERING] Oh, thanks.

Sorry, old man.

- [WHISPERING] That's OK.

Merry Christmas.

- Well, shall we go?

- OK.

- Well, why don't we settle this over a cup of coffee

in the kitchen?

- Will somebody please tell my wife that this is

the pen-and-pencil set she gave me for Christmas?

- I distinctly remember getting an ashtray from the Randolphs.

- We're the Randolphs.

- Well, I mean the--

- All I know is I sent Oz a Christmas card,

and he didn't even thank me.

- Uh, don't worry, folks.

We'll get this all straightened out eventually.

[music playing]

- Well, we hope you enjoyed our story for tonight.

Of course, this wasn't the first time

the Nelson family got confused about presents.

I remember one incident that happened

about 9 or 10 years ago.

David and Ricky had saved up their money

to buy me a Valentine's Day present.

Let's turn back the clock, shall we?

[music playing]

- Put 'em back, David?

- Put what back?

- My unmentionables.

- You mean your shorts?

- Don't get personal about this.

- Well, if I had to wear these things,

I wouldn't want to mention it either.

- How much money do we have? - I don't know.

I have to count it first.

- I'll help you.

- You count the pennies.

- OK.

1.

- 1.

- 2. 3.

- 15. - 4.

- 25. - 5.

- 35. - 6.

- 7. - 38.

- 8. - 39.

- 9.

- 11.

- 10.

30, 13. - 9.

- 30, 12. - 6.

- Ricky, stop countin' out loud.

You're getting us both mixed up.

- Let's not count the small change.

Let's count this folding stuff.

- Save it for later.

- Just leave it on the bed, David.

- What's the matter?

Don't you trust me?

- Sure, I trust you, but just leave it on the bed.

- I don't know what you're so suspicious about.

Half this stuff is mine, anyhow.

In fact, I think it's all mine.

- It is not.

One of these dollars is mine.

That one, right there.

- How do you know?

- Because it has my name on it.

- Oh, fine.

I suppose you crossed out "Washington"

and wrote in "Nelson."

- Look, David, it took me a long time to save up this dollar,

and I want everybody to know that it belongs to me.

- We sure have saved up quite a bit, haven't we?

- Yeah.

We ought to be able to buy Mom a neat Valentine's present

with this.

- How about a nice box of candy?

- Oh, yeah, the chocolate ones with the fruit centers.

- Does she like those?

- I don't know, but I sure do.

- Listen, Ricky, we're buying this present for Mom.

Do you think she'd like a nice bottle of perfume?

- Don't be a dope, David.

You can't eat perfume.

- Listen, Ricky, we're buying something Mom likes,

not something you like.

- OK, OK.

What are we going to get Dad?

- I was just wondering about that.

I wonder if you're supposed to buy your father a Valentine's

Day present. - Well, sure.

Why not?

- Well, I don't know.

Valentine's Day is sort of sweetheart's day, you know,

love stuff.

- Well, don't you like Pop?

- Well, sure, I like him.

I just don't want to embarrass him, that's all.

- Well, we're going to get Mom something, aren't we?

- Well, that's different.

Mom's your mother.

Boy's best friend is his mother.

- I thought a boy's best friend was his dog.

- Oh, Ricky, don't be silly.

You know, the more I think of it,

I think we ought to give Pop a present.

What do you think he needs?

- Well, he could always use a big box of chocolates

with the fruit centers.

- Oh, Ricky, don't be silly.

Think of something sensible.

- What about a belt?

- No, he's got a belt. How about a pair of socks?

- No, he's got a pair of socks, too.

- Well, we'll figure out what to get him later on.

- How much are we going to spend on Pop's present?

- I don't know. Whatever it costs.

We want to get him something nice.

- How much is that?

- I don't know.

- It seems to me that's the most important item.

- Look, Ricky, when you give a present to somebody

you like, you don't worry about how much it costs.

- OK, If you say so.

I guess I'd better leave the room now.

I don't want to embarrass you.

- What's this?

- I know you have one more gift to figure out, sweetheart.

- They sure were a couple of characters, weren't they?

Well, we'll see you again next week.

Good night.

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

has been brought to you by the Coca-Cola Company.

- No matter what you serve in your sandwiches,

always serve them with ice-cold Coke.

The best friend food ever had, Coca-Cola.

- This has been an ABC television

network film presentation.