Original subtitles

[theme music]

- Eastman Kodak Company is happy to bring you

America's favorite family, the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

They enjoy good times together.

And like most of us, they enjoy good times over

again in pictures.

[fun music]

- One good time--

- Deserves another.

- And you can double the fun of any day's outing--

- With a Brownie camera by Kodak.

This Brownie Starmite camera, for example,

is the handiest flash camera Kodak ever made.

- And it lets you get good pictures the first time,

with no instruction at all.

- [giggle] Uh, no instruction at all.

You can count on clear, bright snapshots in black and white

or color.

- Even color slides you can show as big as life.

- The Starmite camera with built-in flash holder costs

less than $12.

- Other Brownie cameras cost less than $7.

- Remember, only a Brownie camera

gives you so much pleasure at so low a cost.

- And now, Kodak invites you to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

[cheerful music]

- Here you go, Wally.

- Hey, that was supposed to be mine!

- Well, why didn't you catch it?

- Well, Rick got in the way.

- Here you go, Wally.

- Hey, be careful.

I just had lunch.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi, fellas. - Hi.

- Oh, hi, girls.

- Come on, Wally, throw it!

- Go on out, Fred!

Watch this pass.

7, 10, 15, hip!

- Thanks a lot.

- That was a good pass, Rick. - Oh, thanks.

- Well, what about me?

How'd you like that pitch out of mine?

- Is that what it was?

I thought it was a fumble.

- Jeez.

- Hey, is the fraternity party still on for this weekend?

- Sure.

- Well, is it formal or informal?

What are we supposed to wear? - Well, anything at all.

It's very informal.

- Yeah, don't wear anything good.

Just come dressed like you are. - What?

- Maybe that was an unfortunate way of putting it.

- To say the least.

- Well, how are you guys going to dress?

- Just the way we are.

Of course, I may wear a clean shirt.

I may wash my sneakers.

- Sneakers?!

- Why don't you make a big night of it and wear shoes?

- Well, OK.

- This may turn out to be the high point

of the social season.

[chuckling] - Hi, fellas.

- Oh, hi, Dave. - Hi, Dave.

- Oh, hi, Dave. - Hi, girls.

I'm going to take the car.

I'll pick you up later this afternoon.

- OK. - Gee, you look nice, Dave.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, I love that tie.

- Thank you.

I gave it to Rick for Christmas.

Well, I'll see you later. - Bye.

- OK, Bye. - Goodbye.

- Now, why don't you fellas ever dress up like that?

- Oh, we do.

- Sure, at weddings, and graduations,

and Easter parades.

- Yeah, after all, a guy can't live in a suit.

And besides, the only reason David had a suit on

was because he was going to work at the law office.

- Well, just the same, he certainly did look nice.

- Yeah, a lot better than the way you look.

- Well, what's wrong with the way I look?

- Well, your shoes need shining.

Your socks don't match.

Your pants are baggy.

You're not wearing a belt. Your shirttail is hanging out.

Your sweater is torn.

And you have strawberry jam on your collar.

- Well, other than that, what's wrong?

- The point she's trying to make is you look like a slob.

- Well, you're not exactly ready for the Easter parade yourself.

- Well, we've been playing football.

- How did we get started on this ridiculous conversation,

anyway?

- Your brother came by all dressed up

like a department store dummy.

- Well, I thought he looked nice.

- I believe you mentioned that.

- Well, he did. - OK.

OK.

- Well, just the same, it wouldn't

hurt you guys to dress up a little bit once in a while.

- She's right.

- Well, as much as I'm enjoying this,

I have to go to the library. - Me, too.

- See you later, fellas. - Bye.

Bye. - So long, girls.

- Bye.

- What was that all about?

- Apparently, we look like bums.

- Well, I don't think I look that bad.

- I don't think I do, either.

- Well, what's wrong with the way I look?

- Well, your shoes need shining.

Your socks don't match.

Your pants are baggy. You're not wearing a belt.

- OK. OK.

I get the message. [chuckle]

- Go out for a pass.

- And then David shows up with his best suit

on wearing a necktie, and from then on, the girls

made it pretty rough on us.

- Well, why didn't you tell them I was on my way to work?

- Well, I did, but it didn't seem to do any good.

- Well, I can see their point.

You must admit, Dave looks pretty nice.

- Now see what you've done?

You've turned my own mother against me.

- [chuckle]

- OK, I'll take my coat and tie off.

Don't want to cause any trouble.

- I think it'd be nice if you left your coat on for dinner.

- Oh, come on, now, Mom.

Don't get carried away.

- No, I mean it.

I think it's nice to dress up a little for dinner.

I know my father always used to.

As a matter of fact, so did your father

up till a couple of years ago.

I don't know what happened.

- Neither do I, but I'm sure glad it did.

- He probably decided he wanted to be more comfortable.

- Hi, fellas. - Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Is dinner almost ready?

I'm starved.

- Just waiting for you.

- I'll just get cleaned up and take my coat off.

- Wait a minute.

Why don't you leave your coat on?

- Well, what for?

- For dinner.

- Are you kidding?

- Well, no.

You always used to wear a coat and tie for dinner.

- Well, yeah, but that was long ago.

- Well, it wouldn't hurt you to do it again once in a while.

Leave it on.

- Harriet..

Uh, Dave...

Rick-- - Don't look at me, Pop.

- Oh. [chuckle]

[whistling]

- Hi, Wally. - Hi, Wally.

- Oh, hi, Dave. Hi, Rick.

- Oh, where's your suit and tie?

I thought you'd be all dressed up for Ginger today.

- Are you kidding? I saw her this morning.

She didn't say a word about it.

- Well, that figures.

The girls get all excited about something

and forget about it the next day.

- This must be a joke.

- Oh, sure it is.

They can't be serious.

- What's this?

- Oh, here's the guy we want to see.

- Whatever it is, I didn't do it.

- Weren't you talking to Ginger and a couple of the Kappas

yesterday?

- Well, yeah, is that a crime or something?

- Well, it might be.

Weren't they talking about the sloppy way you dress?

- Now, don't get personal.

- What's this all about?

- Oh, get a load of this.

- What's it say?

- "Effective midnight tonight, all members

of this fraternity desiring dates with the Kappas

will be required to dress as follows, all dances--

dark suit, white shirt, and conservative tie."

- Conservative?

- That means no ties with hula dancers.

- [chuckle]

- "Plays and concerts-- dark suit, white shirt, and tie.

Dinner dates at country clubs-- dark suit, white shirt,

and tie.

Dinner dates at restaurants-- dark suit, white shirt,

and tie.

Dinner dates at drugstore--

not acceptable."

- Oh, who do they think they are?

- Wait till you hear the rest of it.

"Movies and sports events--

sport jacket, white shirt, and tie."

- Oh, well, there's a change for you.

- Yeah, very big of 'em.

- There must be some place I can go.

"Bowling, ice skating, picnics, et cetera-- sweater,

white shirt, and tie."

- Big deal.

- No matter what we do, we got to wear a white shirt and tie.

- No, here's one.

"Swimming dates-- bathing suits."

- Well, hooray for that.

- What are we going to do with this thing

before we tear it up? - Well, wait a minute.

We can't tear it up.

How are we going to know what to wear?

- Are you kidding?

- Oh, get the fink here!

- Now, wait a second.

It's all right for you guys, but my girl just

bought a new convertible. I don't want to lose her now.

- Well, they can't be serious with this thing.

- No, it's probably a joke.

- It must be.

Do you realize that there are more white shirts on that list

and there are in the whole fraternity house?

- Well, what are we going to do about it?

- Oh, nothing. Let's forget it.

How'd it get up on the bulletin board, anyway?

- One of the girls in the Kappa house

must have put it up there. - Well, how's that possible?

They're not allowed in here.

- Yeah, how'd the girls get in here, anyway?

- Girls in here?

- [chuckle]

- Where are you guys going tonight?

- We're going bowling. - Are you going take dates?

- Yeah.

- Well, you're not dressed properly.

According to this, you're supposed

to be wearing sweaters, white shirts, and ties.

- Yeah, how about that?

- Yeah, we read that, too, Pop.

- Well, you're not wearing sweaters, white shirts,

and ties.

- No, we don't intend to.

It's just a gag, Pop.

- Well, even so, aren't you guys living kind of dangerously?

Don't forget the feminine mind is a strange thing.

They're just crazy enough to mean this.

- Who's crazy?

- The girls at the Kappa house.

Have you seen this ridiculous list they've made out?

- Yes, and I don't think it's ridiculous at all.

I think it makes a lot of sense.

- But times have changed.

People dress a lot more casually than they used to.

- Well, maybe so, but that doesn't

mean you can't get dressed up once in a while.

- Well, this isn't once in a while,

this is every time they step out of the house.

- You mean you think it's too much trouble for the boys

to put on a tie?

- To go bowling?

- Why not?

- Well, I think I look all right.

I'm wearing a clean shirt.

My pants are reasonably pressed.

And my shoes-- my shoes are shined.

- Well, let's face it.

You're lovely.

- Thank you.

- Well, shall we go find out if we still

have dates for tonight?

- OK, good night.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- There's some more coffee out in the kitchen.

You want some?

- Well, on one condition.

I don't have to put on a suit and tie.

- That's a good shot, Dave.

- Oh, thanks.

I can use it.

- You're up, Diane.

- Again?

- Yeah, that's the way it goes. You bowl.

Ricky bowls.

Roberta bowls. I bowl.

And you bowl again.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, by the way, that list you girls put up

on the bulletin board--

- Oh, well, what about it?

- Well, that was a pretty funny joke.

- [giggles] Well, I'm glad you liked it.

- Yeah, some of the guys almost fell for it.

- Oh, good.

- Who made it up, anyway?

- Oh, we all worked on it together.

- Hey, I got a nine.

- Well, good.

We have one more ball coming.

- Oh, I don't think I have time. Do I, Roberta?

- Oh, no, you haven't.

It's almost twelve o'clock.

- What difference does that make?

The alleys stay open all night.

- Well, you read the note.

The rules go into effect at midnight.

Do you have white shirts and ties with you?

- Oh, sure.

We have them hidden in the bowling balls.

- You must be kidding. - No, I mean it.

If you don't have white shirts and ties with you,

we have to go back to the sorority house.

- Well, suppose we refuse to drive you home

until you finish the game.

- Well, we sort of expected that.

We have some pledges waiting out front for us in a car.

- You're kidding. - No, we're not.

- Good night, fellas.

No hard feelings.

It's just that we girls agreed to stick together.

- Good night!

- Roberta?

- Oh, I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, I love you.

- Say, what time is it?

- It's exactly midnight.

- Goodnight. - Hey, Betty, where you going?

- It's twelve o'clock, girls.

- Hey, Betty!

- Hey, Mabel, where you going?

[playful music]

[honk]

- Hey, Dave, Rick, over here.

- You guys got the axe, too, huh?

- Yeah, what else?

- You should have seen it, a beautiful light blue

convertible with real leather seats.

- Well, I don't understand how it happened.

- Well, evidently they're serious about this.

- Well, what are we going to do about it?

- That's a good question.

- Well, there's one consolation.

At least we're all on the same boat.

- I don't see Wally.

He had a date tonight.

- Yeah.

Hey, you don't suppose he chickened out and wore a tie,

do you? - Hiya, fellas.

[laughing]

Well, don't just sit there and stare.

Somebody get an eraser.

- You know, the more I think about,

those girls had a lot of nerve pulling a stunt like that.

- I think it was a pretty smart move.

What do you think the boys are going to do about it?

- Well, I don't know, but I know what I'd do about it.

I'd just call their bluff and wear whatever I wanted to wear.

- You'd be making a big mistake.

Never underestimate the power of a woman.

- The boys will come around quicker than you think.

- Which reminds me, where are the boys?

They'll be late for their classes.

- Morning.

- Oh, hi, Dave, Rick.

- Morning, boys.

- Morning, Mom.

- You see?

Never underestimate the stubbornness of a man.

- Give them time.

They'll come around.

- I wouldn't bet on that if I were you, Mom.

- Yeah, we've decided to fight this thing.

- OK, I'm outnumbered.

But I think you're making a big mistake.

- How long do you figure this will last, Dave?

- Oh, not too long.

We've got a big party coming up next weekend,

and the girls will come to their senses by then.

- You hope.

- Oh, well, they will.

They won't want to take a chance on missing the party.

- Suppose they decide to hold out on you?

- Oh, come on, now, Mom.

That's negative thinking.

- OK, we'll see.

Oh, by the way, speaking of parties, don't forget

you promised to take me out to dinner Friday night.

- Well, you underestimate me.

I've even picked out a wonderful place for us to go.

- You're kidding.

- No, honest.

- Where is it?

- Look, why don't you let me surprise you?

- Surprise me now.

- [chuckle] OK, I was thinking of Sam's Spaghetti Palace.

- Oh.

- [chuckle] That wasn't exactly the reaction I expected.

You always said you liked the food there.

- Well, yes, but I was hoping we could go someplace where

I could dress up a little.

- Oh?

- In fact, Clara said she and Joe stopped by the Embassy room

the other night, and it was just beautiful.

It's all been redecorated.

They have new carpets, and the most beautiful chandelier

imported from Italy.

- Well, yeah, but how was the food?

- Well, they couldn't eat there.

Joe wasn't wearing a tie.

- Hey, maybe Mr. Randolph would like to join our fraternity.

- Well, I'd still like to go there Friday night.

- Well, what about Sam's?

I'd like to go there.

- Who do you think will win, David?

- Oh, it's hard to say.

Pop's got the weight advantage, but Mom may dazzle him

with her footwork.

Pack it up, you guys.

You'll be late.

- Oh, hey, so will I. Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.

If the sorority girls win out and the fellas

have to wear ties, I'll dress up and take you

to the Embassy room.

But if the guys win out, we dress casually and go to Sam's.

How about it? - That's not a bet.

It's a sure thing. I'll take it.

- Good.

It's a pleasure to take advantage of you.

- Well, we'll see.

Oh, before you go, would you get your dark suit out?

I'll take it down and get it pressed.

- OK.

- Hiya, fellas.

- Hi, Wally - Any news?

- About what?

- Well, the girls and their ridiculous manifesto.

What else? - Well, I saw Roberta.

- What'd she say?

- Well, she said they'd come to the party Friday night.

- Oh!

- If we wore dark suits, white shirts, and ties.

- Well, there, you see? They're weakening.

- Now how do you figure that?

- Well, at least they're talking to us.

- Hey, you guys, we've got visitors.

- Who? - The girls.

- Oh, what did I tell you?

We've won already.

All right, let's go out and be gracious about it.

- Wally. - Yeah, let's be good winners.

- Wally.

- What are we waiting for?

- Hey, you guys?

- Well, that's the trouble with Ginger.

She takes things so personally.

- What are you fellas going to have?

- What's the matter? What are you whispering for?

- Well, I'm not sure I should serve you guys.

I might get picketed by the Kappas.

- Why don't you take a chance and serve us anyway?

I'll have a hamburger and a Coke.

- Same here. - Yeah, make it three.

- OK.

- This is getting ridiculous.

You know that, don't you?

- She's kind of cute.

- Yeah, I wonder who she is?

- Well, I think her name's Mary Lou Benson.

She's a Tri-Delt. Hey, maybe I'll invite her to the party

Friday night.

- I thought you were going to take Roberta.

- Right now that seems pretty unlikely.

- Hey, wait a minute. Maybe he has an idea there.

Why don't we all spread out and get another dates

for the party?

- Hey, yeah, that'd teach the Kappas a good lesson.

- Yeah, I think I'll start the ball rolling right now.

- You mean you're going to ask Mary Lou?

- Why not?

- Good luck.

- Uh, pardon me, you're Mary Lou Benson, aren't you?

- That's right. - Well, I'm Rick Nelson.

We used to have an English class together.

- Oh, sure. How are you, Rick?

- Oh, fine, thanks.

Say, I was just wondering if you'd

like to go to our fraternity party with me Friday night.

- Well, gee, I'd love to, but I'm afraid I can't.

- Oh, are you sure?

We have awfully good parties.

- Oh, I know that, but, well, you see,

all the sororities got together and agreed not

to cross the Kappa picket line.

I'm awfully sorry.

- Oh, well, that's OK.

Maybe some other time.

- Turned you down, huh? - Yeah.

Apparently, all the sororities are sticking together.

They boycotted our house.

- Well, that's a fine thing.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't we make it a mother and son dinner?

- I don't know about your mother,

but I don't think mine would cross the picket line.

- [giggle]

- Hi, Jack. - Hi, Dave.

- Hi, Jack. - Rick.

I understand you guys have got yourselves

into a little trouble with the Kappas.

- Uh, yeah, that's what we wanted to talk to you about.

As you probably already know, we're

being boycotted by all the sororities on campus.

- Yeah, that's pretty funny.

- Not from where we're standing.

- We figured the best thing to do is fight fire with fire,

so we're asking all the fraternities

not to date the Kappas.

- That's a good idea.

Say, you've been going pretty steady with Roberta,

haven't you? - Yeah, I have been.

- Nice girl.

- Yeah.

- Well, anyway, do you think the guys at your house

will cooperate with us?

- Oh, sure.

We all have to stick together.

Say, what's Roberta's phone number?

- Are you kidding? - Of course I am.

Don't get so nervous. And don't worry, Dave.

I'll fix it up with the guys. - Thanks a lot, Jack.

- Thanks, Jack. - Hey, Wally, Fred.

- Hi, Jack.

Hey, what'd he say?

- The Betas will go along with us.

- Oh, good.

It's OK with the Sigma Chis and the Delts, too.

- Yeah, I think the girls are going to be sorry

they started this.

- Yeah, we'll see who can hold out the longest.

- What do you mean who?

Naturally, we will.

- Yeah, naturally.

- Solitaire? Checkers?

Hey, haven't you guys got anything better to do?

- Well, I finished my homework.

- Well, then can I borrow it?

- Why don't you do your own?

You got plenty of spare time these days.

- I finished mine.

- Why don't we get up a game of poker?

- Not again.

- We're not going to spend another dull evening just

staring at each other, are we?

- All we have to do is put on shirts and ties.

Well, you ought to see it.

It's a beautiful light blue convertible.

- Will somebody turn him off?

- There must be something we can do

about this ridiculous situation.

- Hey, wait a second. Where are you going?

- Just out.

- You know the rules. - What are you talking about?

- Come on.

Up with the hand.

Ah, just as I thought.

- Where are you going with the tie?

- My sister's getting married. - You don't have a sister.

- Come on. Back inside.

- Well, maybe it's my cousin.

- Upstairs.

[music playing]

- I'm tired of playing bridge.

- Well, what else is there to play?

- Oh, I don't know.

- How about Old Maid?

Sorry.

[phone rings]

- Hello?

Yes, it is.

It's for you, Roberta.

It's a man.

- Hello?

Oh.

Hi, Daddy.

- I guess today's the day.

- Yeah, refreshments arrived.

Are we going to have a party or not?

- Who knows?

You'd think they'd have given in by now.

- Well, they sure are stubborn.

- Uh, wait a minute, you don't suppose

we're the ones who are being stubborn, do you?

- Now, if I'd said that, I'd be drummed out of the fraternity.

- I mean it.

Every once in a while, you have to size up a situation

and make some sort of compromise.

Now, we like the girls, and we want to have the party.

And it won't be any fun without them.

- Now, wait a second.

Are you suggesting we chicken out?

That we haul up the white flag?

All those in favor of sticking by our guns, say aye.

Well, let's phone the girls and tell them we surrender.

- Oh, hi, Roberta. - Hi.

- Oh, hi, girls. - Hi.

- Hi. - What can we do for you?

- Well, uh, we have something to tell you.

- We came over to compromise.

- We did not.

We came over to give up.

- No kidding?

- Well, how about that?

[laughs]

- One wisecrack out of you, and it's all off.

And I may break your leg for good measure.

- OK. OK.

Then you're coming to our party?

- Well, that's the general idea.

- It's still going to be informal, you know.

Everybody dress casually. - Oh, we know that.

- Oh, sure.

- We're going to come just like this.

- Well, that's the spirit.

- Well, we'll see you guys later.

- Bye. - Bye

- Bye.

- How about that?

- Yeah, and you wanted us to surrender.

- Me?

- Well, maybe it was me. - [giggle]

- Anyway, we won.

They're going to be here, and they're

going to be dressed casually. - Boy, you can say that again.

Did you see the outfits they had on?

- You know, you think they could at least wear skirts.

- You don't suppose they're going

to show up with those curlers in their hair, do you?

- Well, I sure hope not.

- Yeah, they did look pretty sloppy, didn't they?

- Yeah, our gym class dresses better than that.

- Don't forget we won.

- Yeah, we won.

- That's right.

- Yeah, but what did we win?

- Well, we won the right to wear whatever we want to wear.

- And the girls can wear whatever they want to wear.

- That's the part I don't especially care for.

Why don't we compromise a little bit?

- Sure, why not?

If we wear sweaters and ties, they could wear sweaters

and skirts.

- Yeah, that'd be an improvement.

- Maybe we could even go so far as to wear a sport jacket,

then the girls could wear dresses.

- Yeah, that'd be even better.

- Night, Mom.

Goodnight, Pop.

- Goodnight. dear.

- Well, wait a second, I thought you said you guys won.

- We did.

- Well, it doesn't look like it.

- Well, after they surrendered unconditionally,

we decided to call them up.

And somehow things got a little out of hand.

- I'll say they did.

Tuxedos?

- Do we look all right?

- Oh, yes, you both look wonderful.

- Thanks. - Thanks, Mom.

- Goodnight, Mom. - Goodnight, dear.

- Goodnight, Pop. - Goodnight, dear.

- Goodnight, fellas. - Goodnight, Pop.

- Have a good time.

- Thanks a lot.

- Well, I told you.

Never underestimate the power of a woman.

- Well, now wait a second.

Even though the boys wound up in tuxedos, they still won.

So I win our bet.

- I know it.

- And we're going to Sam's Spaghetti Palace.

- I know it.

- And we're going to be dressed casually.

- Well, we'd look pretty silly dressed any other way.

Have you forgotten what it's like down there?

- No, but the food's good.

I must say, you're being an awfully good sport about this.

- Thank you, dear.

- Well, don't you think you'd better get ready?

- Oh, I'm all ready.

Let's go.

- Well, I'll get out of my dark suit.

You'd better phone the Embassy room for reservations.

- Oh, I already did.

We're due there at 8:30.

Hurry up, dear.

- Never underestimate the power of a woman.

They're shrewd.

They're crafty.

They're conniving.

They're charming.

They're lovely.

And what would we do without them?

[BAND PLAYING - RICKY NELSON, "TRAVELIN' MAN"]

- [SINGING] I'm a travelin' man, made a lot of stops all over

the world.

And in every port, I owned the heart

of at least one lovely girl.

I've a pretty senorita waiting for me down in old Mexico.

And if you're ever in Alaska, stop and see

my cute little Eskimo.

Oh, my sweet Fraulein down in Berlin town

makes my heart start to yearn.

And my China doll down in old Hong Kong waits for my return.

Pretty Polynesian baby over the sea,

I remember the night when we walked in the sands of Waikiki,

and I held you oh so tight.

Whoa, I'm a travelin' man.

Whoa, I'm a travelin' man.

[vocalizing]

[cheering]

I'm a travelin' man, made a lot of stops all over the world.

And in every port, I own the heart

of at least one lovely girl.

I've a pretty senorita waiting for me down in old Mexico.

And if you're ever in Alaska, stop and see

my cute little Eskimo.

Oh, my sweet Fraulein down in Berlin town

makes my heart start to yearn.

And my China doll down in old Hong Kong waits for my return.

Pretty Polynesian baby over the sea,

I remember the night when we walked in the sands of Waikiki,

and I held you oh so tight.

Whoa, I'm a travelin' man.

Yes, I'm a travelin' man.

Yes, I'm a travelin' man.

Whoa, I'm a travelin' man.

[vocalizing]

[cheering]

[dance music]

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak company, who also present "The Ed Sullivan

Show" on another network.

Fun is more fun when you save it in snapshots.

Remember, when you picture it now,

you see it again and again.

Good night.

This has been an ABC television network film presentation.