Original subtitles

- Eastman Kodak Company is happy to bring you

America's favorite family, the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

They enjoy good times together and like most of us,

they enjoy good times over again in pictures.

And now, here's Harriet.

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Always there when you want it.

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too so they're easy to have handy when you want them.

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or even gorgeous color slides.

- See the Brownie Starmite camera by Kodak.

It costs less than $12 and start now

to enjoy your good times over again in pictures.

And now Kodak invites you to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- What did your take on that?

- Well, it was a par 4.

- We know that.

What did you take?

- Well, I'll settle for a 6.

- OK, I'll give you a 7.

- Oh, you're being very generous.

I actually took an 8.

What am I laughing at?

- Well, don't feel too bad, I took a 6 myself.

I can't remember when I've had a day as bad as this.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

- I think you're trying too hard.

Relax a little. - Relax?

Are you kidding?

If I lose one more ball, I'm through.

- Dave, how about giving me the honor?

I'd like to go first at least once today.

- OK.

- Well, let's see, shall I use my hooker or my slicer?

- Why don't you just try hitting the ball straight?

- OK.

Just for that, I'll take my 9 iron,

drop it 6 feet from the pin.

- Well, so much for my practice swing.

- Hey, not bad.

- I'll take it.

- Well, here goes nothing.

- Well, you know something?

You were right.

- Oh, this is a stupid hole anyway.

You miss the green by 10 feet and you're all through.

- Well, why don't you play another ball?

- Well, I can't do that. - Why not?

Don't be so honest.

- That's not the point.

I don't have another ball.

- Use one of mine. - Why don't we just go home?

- Come on, we've only got two more holes to play.

- Well, at least I'm getting a lot of exercise today.

- Hey, that's a beauty, Dave.

- Hey, a hole in one!

- How about that?

That's the first time I've ever seen one.

Congratulations. - I can't believe it.

- A hole in one!

- Well, actually, it was a hole in two.

That was my second ball.

- No, no, you made a hole in one...

on your second ball.

- That sounds better.

- Besides, who cares?

You hit the ball off the tee and it rolled into the cup.

What more could you ask?

- Hey, maybe if we hurry a little

we can play the back nine again.

I can't believe it, a hole in one!

- I saw it!

- Funny part of it was, I wasn't even trying.

I just took a nice, easy swing and the next thing I knew,

the ball landed right on the green and rolled right

into the cup.

Isn't that right, Wally? - I was there, Mr. Nelson.

I saw it.

- That's great, Dave.

It's too bad it was your second ball.

- Well, it was a big thrill anyway.

- Oh, well, sure, I can imagine.

As a matter of fact, I've been playing golf for years

and I've never even come close to making a hole in one.

- The funny part of it was I wasn't even trying.

I just took a nice, easy swing--

Or have I said that before?

- Only about five or six times.

- Well, anyway, the ball landed on the green and rolled right

into the cup. - I was there, Mr. Nelson.

I saw it. - Here we go.

This calls for a celebration.

- Let me help you with that, Mom.

- I'll take it.

It was my idea.

- It figures.

- It must have been pretty exciting, Dave.

- Yeah, it sure was.

- I was just telling Dave, you know

how long I've been playing golf and I've never even come

close to making a hole in one.

- Will you have a sandwich, Mrs. Nelson?

- Yes, thank you.

- Say, why don't you call up the paper and tell 'em about it?

- Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

- You're kidding, of course.

- No, I mean the school paper.

They've got a new feature where they

ask you to write up interesting things that happen to students.

- Yeah.

This would be perfect for it, Dave.

- In the first place, I'm no writer.

And besides, it's not that big a deal.

- If it ever happens to me, it will be.

- Why don't you do it, Dave?

- Oh, gee, Mom, I don't think so.

- Well, I wish I'd been there to see it.

- The funny part of it was I wasn't even trying.

I just stepped up to the tee and took a nice, easy swing.

- Well, he may not want to write about it,

but he sure loves to tell it.

- I hate to say this, Ginger, but I'm

afraid this is going to have to be Dutch treat.

- That's what I like about going out with you.

You're so predictable-- always broke.

- Now, is that a nice thing to say

after I invited you in here? - Hi.

Hi, Ginger. - Oh, hi, Dave.

Rick. - Why don't you join us?

- Oh, thanks.

- Of course, you understand this will have to be Dutch treat.

- You mean Ginger's not paying?

- No, I thought I'd give her a break today.

I'm paying for my own.

- Say, I hear you hit a home run.

- No, no. A hole in one.

- Oh.

Well, anyway, congratulations. - Thanks.

- You know, I still think you should write that up.

The story they ran today was written

by some guy who found some petrified wood in a riverbed.

- Yeah, I saw it.

- Well, your story's a lot more interesting than that.

- I just don't want to write it up.

If it had been a legitimate hole in one that'd be different.

- Well, OK. What are you going to have?

- Gee, I don't know.

- Stay away from the bean soup.

It tastes like tobacco juice.

- Hi, Rick.

- Oh, hi, Susan.

- Hey, who's that?

- That's Susan Randall.

She works on the school paper.

In fact, she's the girl who edits the new feature section.

- Well, she's pretty nice.

- Yeah, she sure is.

- Wally.

- Now don't get excited.

I just wanted to show Dave I approve of his taste.

- A likely story.

- Oh, thank you.

I'm glad you do.

- I wonder what the odds are in making a hole in one.

- Oh, I don't know, pretty high, I guess.

As I say, I've been playing golf for years

and I've never even come close to making one.

- I guess it would make kind of an interesting story.

- Are you thinking of writing it up?

- I thought I might.

- What made you change your mind?

- A good looking girl named Sue Randall.

- What are you talking about?

- A good looking girl named Sue Randall.

- What's she got to do with it?

- Well, it just so happens that the girl who

edits the feature section is a good looking girl

named Sue Randall.

Hey, have you see my English book?

Oh, here it is.

- Oh, come on, Ricky, I was right in the middle

of a thought.

- Oh, pardon me, Mr. Hemingway.

Has the matador entered the arena yet?

- Well, if you must know, this isn't easy.

- Well, the first two lines look pretty good.

"A Hole in One by David Nelson."

- If you've got something else to do, why don't you do it?

- OK.

- Rick, wait a minute.

Listen to this.

See how it sounds to you.

"The ball landed on the edge of the green.

For an instant, I thought it was going to be short of the pin.

However, it continued rolling and came to a stop right

on the edge of the cup.

It seemed to hang there forever, and then it dropped in.

I couldn't believe it."

- Oh, wait a second.

I thought Wally said the ball just landed on the green

and rolled into the cup.

- Well, it did if you want to get technical about it.

- Well, I thought you were trying to tell what happened.

- Well, I am, but I'm also trying

to make the story interesting and give it a little suspense.

- You really want to make a good impression on this girl,

don't you?

- No, I'm just trying to make the story interesting to read.

- Well, OK, you artists are too sensitive.

- How you doing there, Dave?

- Oh, OK, Pop.

I just want to fix up the end of it, and the middle here.

I think I can get a better beginning.

- OK.

Don't stay up too late. - Oh, I won't.

- Goodnight, Dave. - Goodnight.

- Goodnight, Rick.

- Goodnight, Pop.

Come on, will you?

I want to go to bed. - Go ahead.

I'm not stopping you.

- Well, I can't go to sleep if you're

going to pound on that typewriter all night long.

- What happened?

- What happened? - I just finished.

- He just finished.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Dave Nelson.

I'm Ricky's brother.

- Oh, hi, it's nice to know you, Dave.

- I understand you edit the feature page.

- That's right. Can I help you?

- Well, I had kind of an interesting thing happen to me

and so I wrote it up.

I thought maybe you might be able to use it.

- Good. Is that it?

- Yeah.

- Thanks, Dave.

I have quite a few others to look over.

I hope you don't mind if I read it later?

- No, of course not.

Well, I don't want to take up too much of your time.

You must be pretty busy. - No.

Not really.

I was just going to take a break.

Would you like a Coke? - Yeah, thanks.

- Here. It's on the house.

- Oh, thanks.

- Now, tell me about your story.

What's it all about?

- Well, it--

- Here you are, Sue.

That hole in one story turned out pretty good.

- Thanks.

- Hole in one story? - Yes.

One of the fellas wrote about making a hole in one.

I just got the story yesterday.

- Oh, no kidding.

Who was it?

- Wally Plumstead.

- Wally?

Can I see that?

- Oh, sure.

Is he a friend of yours?

- Well, I used to think he was.

I guess I better be going, but thanks for the Coke.

- Aren't you going to leave your story?

- Oh, well, no.

There's something I want to straighten out about it first.

- "The instant the club hit the ball,

I knew it was a good shot, and it was.

The ball lifted perfectly and sailed straight for the pin.

I held my breath as I watched it land on the green,

roll slowly up to the cup and drop in.

I couldn't believe it.

We raced to the green and there was my ball in the cup.

The fella I was with was even more excited than I was.

What a thrill, a hole in one.

Signed, Wally Plumstead."

How about that guy?

- Yeah, he sure made it sound good.

- Yeah, just like he made the hole in one.

- Well, at least he mentioned you.

- Big deal, the fella he was with.

Boy, this takes a lot of nerve.

- Yeah, that's for sure.

- Why would Wally do a thing like this?

- Probably for the same reason you did.

Susan's a good lookin' girl. - Hi, Dave.

Hi, Rick. - Hi, Dave.

- Hey, did you hear about Wally making a hole in one?

- Yeah, we read about it. - That's pretty good, huh?

- Yeah.

- Why didn't you tell him?

- Oh, what's the use?

I don't want to sound like a sore head.

- I'd have told him if I'd done it.

What's the matter, are you afraid he wouldn't believe you?

- Of course not.

- Uh, Dave?

- Yeah, you did make the hole in one?

I mean, it really wasn't Wally, was it?

- What?

- I'm kidding.

- Dave? Rick?

- Oh, hi, Ginger. - Hi, Ginger.

- Have you seen Wally?

- No, but we're looking for him.

- So am I. I guess you saw that story of his in the paper.

- Yes, we did.

- Well, I think it's disgraceful.

- Well, I'm not so happy about it myself.

- And don't think I don't know why he did it.

And her name is Susan.

- I don't know about that.

- Oh, come on, now.

You guys are all alike.

He steals your story and you still cover up for him.

- Well, anyway, if you find him, let us know, will you?

- If I find him, everybody will know.

- There he is.

- Wouldn't you know he'd be hiding in the library

where you can't shout at him?

- I think you have a very interesting story here.

In fact, if you will make these changes I suggested,

I think it'll turn out quite well.

Just remember to keep it simple and stick to the facts.

- Oh, thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Hey, Rick, isn't this the famous author Wally Plumstead?

- Yeah, I believe it is.

- Oh, hiya, fellas.

- What's the idea stealing my story?

- Shhh. We're in the library.

- I told you.

- Well, how about it?

- I don't know what you're so excited about.

I thought I wrote it up pretty good.

Besides, you said you weren't going to write it.

- That doesn't give you any right

to claim that you made the hole in one.

- I didn't.

If you'll read the article carefully,

you'll see I never actually said I hit the ball.

- But you implied that you hit the ball, which is just as bad.

- Shhh.

We're in the library.

- OK, let's step outside.

- Please, I'm a man of letters, not violence.

I was just trying to tell the story as I saw it.

I didn't claim it happened to me.

- Well, you sure made it sound like it did.

- Yeah, you sure did.

Listen to this.

"There was my ball in the cup."

- Well, it was my ball.

- Unfortunately, he's right.

I borrowed it from him.

- You see?

Have you been going around claiming it was your ball?

- I give up.

- Besides, he has enough trouble on his hands.

Ginger just came in.

- Well, what about it?

- She figures you wrote the story so you

could get to know Susan better.

- Well, how did she find out about--?

I mean, who told you that? - Well, she did.

You better hide. - Where?

- Under the table.

I'll cover up for you.

Uh, Ginger?

He's under here.

- Hi, honey, I was just looking for you.

- Under the table?

- I wanted to ask you something.

I have to know exactly when it was we first met.

- What do you want to know that for?

- Well, I was thinking for my next story

I'd write about the luckiest day in my life.

- Let me see...

- Come on, Rick.

Let's go.

- Sit down, honey, while you're thinking about it.

- Well, I can't understand it.

Why would Wally do a thing like that?

- Well, Susan's a good looking girl, and show Wally

a good looking girl and he'll sell his best friend

down the river any day.

- What about Ginger?

- Well, she's on the warpath already.

So far, he's keeping one step ahead of her.

- Well, why don't you go over to the newspaper office

and tell Susan exactly what happened.

That is, if you're that interested.

- Well, there'd be no satisfaction in that.

I'd rather figure out some way of beating him at his own game.

- Oh, you're getting too complicated for me.

- Whatever you do, you better do it pretty soon.

If the great writer decides to turn in another story

and Susan likes it, you might as well forget about it.

- Hey, I just got an idea.

What if we get him to turn in a phony story to Susan

and make sure she finds out it's a phony.

- Wait a second, I got a better idea.

How would it be if Wally turned in a story with his name on it

and it was something that had actually happened to Susan?

- Boy, that would fix him for sure.

Only thing, though, do you know anything interesting that's

happened to her?

- Well, I know she's got a little brother.

- What's interesting about that?

- Well, he's a pretty smart little guy,

and under the influence of a giant banana split

he might be induced to do a little talking.

- I remember when she got her first high heels and fell down

and sprained her ankle.

- Oh, that's interesting, but it's not exactly the kind

of story we were looking for.

- It was pretty painful.

- Oh, I imagine it was.

- See, what we had in mind was something

a little more unusual.

- Gee, this is all gone.

They don't make these as big as they used to.

- Jack, could we have one more giant banana split, please?

- Well, OK.

It's your responsibility.

- See, what we're looking for is something kind

of exciting or different that could happen

to either a boy or a girl.

- Well, once when we were up at Pine Lake,

my dad took a funny picture of Susan.

- Well, yeah, but see, that's not very exciting.

- Now, wait a minute.

What was funny about it?

- There was a bear in the bushes right behind her.

- And nobody knew it?

- Not till we saw the picture.

- Hey, I think that's it.

- Yeah, I think you're right.

- Thanks a lot, Bobby.

- Oh, that's OK.

- Remember now, this is your responsibility.

- Look, Bobby, let's just keep this among us guys, OK?

- Oh, sure.

When you've got a good looking sister,

you get bribes like this all the time.

- Oh, hi, Wally. Come on in.

- Oh, thank you.

Dave called.

He wanted to see me.

- Well, both the boys are right upstairs.

- Oh, thank you.

Mr. Nelson, if I'm not back in 10 minutes, call the police.

- Hey, he's coming up the stairs.

- OK.

Now remember, when I say I don't think

I'll write the story after all, that's your cue to call me.

- Shh. Here he comes.

Hi, Wally. - Oh, hi, Rick.

- Hi, Wally. - Hi, Dave.

First, let me explain about the golf story.

- Will you forget about it, please?

That's why I wanted to see you.

I want to apologize.

- For what?

- Well, for getting mad at you.

After all, you had a perfect right to use the story.

- Well, gee, thanks, Dave.

I sure appreciate your attitude.

- Well, I got to thinking about it

and I probably couldn't have written it

up as well as you did anyhow.

- Oh, sure you could have.

Well, at least almost as good.

- Well, you seem to have more of a flair for those things.

In fact, another little thing happened

that I've been trying to write up,

but I just can't seem to get it down on paper.

- Well, what's it about?

- Well, it's about a bear up at Pine Lake.

- Well, that sounds interesting.

- Well, it is, but I've just about given up on it.

I don't think I'll write it after all.

- Well, why not?

- Well, um, I say, I don't think I'll write it after all.

- Yeah, I heard you. I say, why not?

- Hey, Dave, come here a minute, will you?

- Oh, OK, Rick.

Would you pardon me for a minute?

- Oh, sure.

- I'll be right back. - Oh, that's OK.

Take your time.

- Take your time, Rick.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Wally.

- Oh, that's all right, Dave.

I think I'll be getting home anyway.

I have a lot of studying to do. - OK.

Thanks for stopping by.

- Hey, Dave.

- Hi.

Any new developments?

- Well, everything seems to be working out pretty good.

Evidently, he fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

- Are you sure?

- Well, I saw him take some papers into the newspaper

office this morning and put 'em on Susan's desk.

- Boy, I guess that takes care of poor old Wally.

Wait till she reads her story with his name on it.

- Seems like kind of a dirty trick.

- Well, we'll let him squirm long enough

for me to get a date with her, and then I'll

tell her about it. - Well, I got a class.

I'll see you later. - OK.

- Oh, hiya, Dave.

- Hi, Wally. Nick.

- Hi. Congratulations.

- For what?

- Wally just told me it was you that made the hole in one.

- Oh, thanks.

- Well, I'll see you guys.

- OK.

- How come you told him?

- Well, you've been so darn nice about the whole thing

I began to get a guilty conscience,

so I decided to set the record straight.

- Well, gee, you didn't have to do that.

- No, I wanted to.

Besides, why should we let a girl break up our friendship?

- Oh, you're taking this thing too seriously.

- Well, maybe so, but at any rate,

I think I've helped you out with Susan.

- You mean you told her it was my golf story?

- Oh, better than that.

That story you threw in the wastebasket last night, the one

about the bear? - Yeah.

- Well, I typed it up and turned it in.

- Oh, you did, did you?

Well, how does that help me out with Susan?

- Well, I put your name on it.

- My name?

What did you do that for?

- Well, I was trying to do you a favor.

- Oh, why don't you ask the guy before you use his name?

Has she read it yet? - Well, I don't know.

Why? - Well, I've got to get it back.

- Well, wait a minute. What did I do now?

- Is Susan here? - No, I'm sorry.

She's not here right now. May I help you?

- Oh, no thanks.

We're just looking for something.

- Will you please tell me what's going on?

- Never mind that.

Just help me find the story.

- Well, I thought I was doing you a favor.

- Gotta be here someplace.

Where did you put it?

- Well, I handed it to a girl.

- Ricky said you put it on Susan's desk.

- Well, she was sitting here.

Wait a minute, how did Ricky know about this?

- Let's not waste time talking about it.

Let's just find it.

- OK.

Well, here it is. - Are you sure?

- Yeah. - Come on, let's go.

- Hi, fellas.

- Oh, hi, Susan.

- What's going on?

- I haven't the faintest idea.

- Did you finish your story?

- Well, no, this is a different story,

but I don't think I'll turn it in.

- Well, I don't see why not.

It's certainly well written.

- Let me see it. - Yeah, don't be so bashful.

Let her see it.

- No.

This looks interesting.

In fact, the same thing happened to me.

This is my story.

- Oh, now I get it.

What a dirty trick.

You intentionally let me steal her story.

You thought I'd turn it in with my name on it.

- Well, what do you expect after you stole my hole in one story?

- You mean, it was Dave who made the hole in one?

- Well, yeah.

- Is it all right if I ask what you two guys have been up to?

- Well, let's just say it all started

when we both decided to try to make a good impression

on a beautiful girl.

- Who happens to be the feature editor of the school paper.

- If you think I'm going to get mad at that, you're crazy.

- Since you're in such a good mood,

there's a party at the fraternity house

Saturday night. How'd you like to go with me?

- Hey, wait a minute. I was going to ask her.

- Sorry, Charlie, I asked first.

How about it?

- Oh, I'd love to.

- OK, you win this time, but I haven't given up yet.

- Sorry, Wally.

- Oh, that's OK.

As they say at a sports desk, you can't win 'em all.

- It's about 12:30.

Do you have any plans for lunch?

- Well, I have now.

- Good.

You, too, Wally. It's on me.

- Oh, a free lunch?

Well, somehow this makes it all worthwhile.

- Hey, Wally, if you need a date for the party,

maybe I can arrange one.

- Oh, that's OK.

I can always take Ginger.

- Who's Ginger?

- Oh, she's Wally's girl.

- Oh, well, not exactly.

Ginger is more like an old friend,

like a comfortable old shoe.

- Is that so?

- Oh, hi, Ginger.

- Who's a comfortable old shoe?

- Oh, that was a compliment, honey.

- It didn't sound like a compliment.

How would you like a complimentary black eye

from a comfortable old shoe?

- Honey, listen--

- Don't you honey me.

- Careful now, no violence.

- Say, this might make an interesting story.

- Yeah.

Why don't you and I collaborate on it?

- Oh, come to think of it, though, it

wouldn't be fair for us to steal it.

After all, it's Wally's story.

- Yeah, but I doubt if he'll be in any condition to write it.

[MUSIC - RICKY NELSON, "THAT'S ALL"]

- I can only give you love that lasts forever,

and the promise to be near each time you call,

and the only heart I own for you and you alone, that's all.

That's all.

I can only give you country walks in springtime,

and a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall.

And a love who's burning light will warm

the winter night, that's all.

That's all.

There are those, I am sure, who have told you

they would give you the world for a toy.

All I have are these arms to enfold you

and a love even time can't destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear.

You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.

Say it's me that you'll adore for now and evermore.

That's all.

That's all.

[theme music]

I

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak Company, who also present "The Ed Sullivan

Show" on another network.

And remember--

- The next time you write to family or friends,

send along some snapshots.

It's the next best thing to a family visit.

Goodnight.

- This has been an ABC Television Network film

presentation.