Original subtitles

[music playing]

- The Coca-Cola Company proudly presents the most famous family

in America--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky, the Nelson family.

- Hi.

I'm Anita Bryant.

The Brothers Four.

We'd like to sing you the new song for Coca-Cola.

[music playing]

- Zing!

King-sized Coca-Cola gives you that refreshing new feeling.

- Refreshing new feeling, refreshing new feeling.

- Coke in the king has more for you.

- Coke in the king's your best buy too.

- Coke in the king the great big value.

King-size Coke.

King-sized Coca-Cola gives you that refreshing new feeling.

King!

Get the king-size, king-sized Coke.

- Now we'd like you folks at home to sing along with us.

Just follow the bouncing cap.

- Zing!

King-size Coca-Cola gives you that refreshing new feeling,

refreshing new feeling, refreshing new feeling.

Coke in the king has more for you.

Coke in king's your best buy too.

Coke in the king's the great big value.

Zing!

Get the king-size, king-sized Coke.

- And now, the Coca-Cola Company invites you to enjoy "The

Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet."

- Oh, by the way, before you guys get out of here,

I need a volunteer.

- So early in the morning?

- That's the idea, to catch you before you're wide awake.

- Sounds like a dirty trick to me.

- What are we volunteering for? - What's the matter?

You afraid to take a chance? - You're darn right.

The last time I volunteered, I wound up

washing the upstairs windows.

- No, it's nothing like that.

It has nothing to do with the house.

- Well, does it have anything to do with the women's club?

- Yes, it does.

- Well, isn't there a lecture down there tomorrow?

- Yes, tomorrow afternoon.

- Well, you know I can't go. - Neither can I.

- I didn't say anything about going.

It's just that we need somebody to set up the chairs tonight.

- Well, I promised Joe I'd go bowling with him tonight.

- And I promised Joyce I'd meet her down at the library.

- See, we're practicing for a tournament.

- I've already called off the last couple of dates with her.

- Well, I have to get somebody.

- Why is it your responsibility?

- I'm chairman of the committee.

- Rick, I'll toss you.

The loser goes down there and helps your mother set up

the chairs tonight.

Heads. - Now, wait a second.

You're not going to get me on that again.

I'm supposed to call.

- OK.

What do you want?

- I'll take heads. - Sorry.

Tails.

You set up the chairs.

- Gee, I thought for sure you were using

that phony quarter of yours.

You know, the one with the two heads?

- No, this is a $0.50 piece with two tails.

- Let me see it.

- No.

May come in handy.

[laughs]

- Hey, Wally.

- Oh, hi, Rick. - Have you seen Joyce?

- Joyce? Who's Joyce?

- You know, the girl I told you I was taking to the Glee Club

concert last week.

- Oh, I didn't go to the concert.

- Oh, well, neither did I. I had a term paper to finish,

and I had to break the date with her.

- Well, what about it?

- Well, I'm supposed to meet her at the library tonight.

I'm looking for her.

- You're going to break another date with her?

- Well, yeah, I have to.

I promised my mother I'd go over to the woman's club

and set up some chairs for her.

They're having a lecture over there tomorrow.

- Uh, come on, let's go over here and sit down on the bench

a while. - What for?

- I'm sure we can think of a better excuse than that.

- Wally!

- Excuse me.

I thought I'd lost this.

I couldn't remember where I left it.

- Oh, I'm glad you found it.

- So am I. My mother says everybody

has a talent for something.

I guess mine is losing things.

- Well, I'm pretty good at that myself.

Gee, I hope I didn't get any water on it.

- Oh, I don't think you did.

Well, goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Hi, Rick. - Oh, hi, Joyce.

Hey, I've been looking all over for you.

- Hey, who was that girl you were just talking to?

- Oh, I don't know. I've never seen her before.

She forgot her tennis racket.

Oh, uh, before I forget, I'm afraid

I'm not going to be able to meet you at the library tonight.

- How come?

- Well, there's a lecture over at the woman's club tomorrow,

and I promised my mother I'd help her set up the chairs

tonight. - Oh.

- I hope you don't mind.

- Oh, no, that's OK.

That is, if you're sure it's your mother you're standing me

up for.

- Of course I'm sure.

- OK.

She's kind of cute.

- Oh, thanks.

I'll tell her you said so.

- Thought you said you didn't know her.

- My mother?

- No, the girl with the tennis racket.

- Oh, I don't know her, and I didn't notice

whether she was cute or not.

- That's the right answer.

- Here, I'll take these.

- Thanks, Sally.

So how's it going? - Oh, pretty good.

- Here, let me give you a hand with those.

- Oh, that's OK, Mom. I'm practically finished.

- Oh, well, maybe you can still catch up with Joyce

at the library.

- Oh, I'm afraid it's a little too late for that.

The library closes in a few minutes.

- Oh, that's a shame, Rick.

- Oh, that's OK.

I thought I'd go by the malt shop.

She'll probably stop in there with one of her girlfriends.

- Well, I'll see you at home. And thanks a lot, dear.

- OK, Mom.

- There's a phone call for you, Rick.

- For me?

- Yes, right at the end of the hall.

- Oh, thanks.

Hello?

Oh, hey, Wally.

Well, sure I'm here.

I've been setting up chairs for the lecture tomorrow.

Well, that's exactly what I told you.

Well, I can't help it if you didn't believe me.

OK, goodbye.

- Was it anything important?

- No, that was Wally.

He's over at the malt shop.

He just lost a bet.

- Oh, well, I'll see you later.

- OK, Mom.

Hi.

- Hi, Rick.

- Oh, don't speak to me.

I have to sit here and watch him eat that thing,

then I have to pay for it, and it's all your fault.

- Well, maybe next time you'll believe me.

- You're a good man, Rick.

- Setting up chairs at the women's club.

Who would believe that?

- Don't be such a sore loser.

Have you seen Joyce?

- Joyce who?

- Oh, let's not go through that again.

You know, Joyce, the girl I was talking

to you about this afternoon.

- Well, how should I know?

I told you I don't know her.

Come on, Bruce, how about a little taste

of the whipped cream? - Nothing doing.

I won the bet fair and square.

Sit down, Rick. - Oh, no thanks.

I was hoping Joyce would stop by.

I think I'd better grab a booth while I can get one.

- OK.

- Come on, Bruce.

How about one of the shaved walnuts?

Just one?

- Hi, Rick. - Oh, hi, Jack.

- What will you have?

- Oh, I think I'll have a large Coke.

Say, has Joyce been in tonight?

- No, I haven't seen her.

But if I see her coming, you want me to warn you?

- Oh, no, I'm looking for her. - Oh.

Well, just trying to protect the customers.

- Excuse me, have you seen a bracelet around here?

- No, I haven't. - Well, hi!

- Oh, hi!

You're the girl who lost the tennis racket.

- That's right.

I told you I have a talent for losing things.

I've lost my charm bracelet.

- Oh, gee, that's a shame.

- I think I must have lost it around here someplace.

I was sitting here just a few minutes ago.

- Oh, why don't we take a look?

- Oh, here it is.

- Oh, that's a very pretty bracelet.

- Thank you.

I can't seem to get this to catch here.

- Here, let me help you.

- Thank you.

- Do you want to sit at the counter?

- No, let's see if we can find a booth.

- OK.

- Wait a second.

- What's the matter?

- I think I see somebody I know.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, who's that with him?

- Well, it's not his mother, and he's not setting up

chairs at the women's club. - There.

That ought to do it.

- Thank you very much.

- That's OK.

- Come on, Sally, let's go someplace else.

- Is something the matter?

- Oh, I'm not sure.

Pardon me.

- OK, it's a bet.

- Uh, hey, Rick? - I can't talk to you right now.

- Oh, wait a second!

Isn't that Joyce sitting in the booth over there?

- No, it isn't. It's somebody else.

- Are you sure? - Of course I'm sure.

- See? I told you it wasn't.

- OK, you win again. Jack?

- Oh, forget it.

I couldn't eat another one of these anyway.

- Hey, Joyce?

I've been waiting for you. - Really?

- Yeah, that's why I came down to the malt shop.

I thought you'd be here.

- Let's go, Sally.

- Wait a second.

What's wrong?

- Well, what do you think?

Give my regards to your tennis-playing friend.

- OK, if that's what you want to think.

- Good night.

- Oh, uh, good night.

- Thanks for fixing my bracelet.

- Oh, that's OK.

[music playing]

- Why don't you explain it to Joyce?

- Well, I haven't seen her yet. I'm hoping she'll come in here.

She usually does about this time.

I'll keep an eye on the door.

- It'd be just your luck to have this other girl show up again.

- Please, don't even mention it.

- Oh, hi. - Oh, hi.

- Oh, don't get up.

I just want to get my books.

- Gee, I didn't know anybody was sitting here.

- Oh, that's all right. I was just leaving.

We seem to have a habit of running into each other.

- Yeah, we sure do.

- Well, I don't want to keep you from your study.

It's nice to have seen you again.

Bye.

- Nice seeing you.

Bye.

I can't believe it.

She was here, and Joyce didn't show up.

- You're just lucky.

Hey, you know, she's pretty cute.

- Yeah, she is.

I hadn't noticed before.

Hey, uh, here comes Joyce.

Well, I'll see you later.

- I'm not going any place.

- If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to her.

- OK, I can take a hint.

- Hi, Joyce.

- Hi, Bruce.

- Oh, uh, Joyce?

Uh, look, I know you're kind of upset with me,

but could I talk to you for a minute?

- What's there to talk about?

- Well, at least I think you ought

to give me a chance to explain.

- Well, all right, but it'd better be good.

- Oh, uh, just sit down right here.

I know this sounds kind of silly,

and I can't understand it, but every place I

go I seem to run into the same girl.

- You didn't have a date with her last night?

- No, honestly!

I don't even know her name.

- Pardon me, Rick, but I think I picked up one of your books

by mistake. - Oh.

- I think that one's mine.

Is my name in it?

- Yeah. - Thanks a lot.

Sorry to have interrupted you.

- Oh, uh, that's OK.

Uh, Joyce?

Joyce?

Don't you think Joyce is being a little unreasonable about this,

Mom?

- Well, yes and no.

I think she should have given you a chance to explain,

but you must admit it was quite a coincidence that you

happened to run into the same girl

three or four times in a row.

- That's exactly what happened.

- Oh, I believe you.

- Gee, I wish I could convince her.

Did anything like this ever happen to you, Pop?

I mean, where you kept running into the same person

every place you went?

- Well, uh, yeah.

I remember one time when I was in school, I owed this guy $10,

and I kept bumping into him every place I turned--

on the campus, in the library, in the cafeteria, and then

later that night, way over on the other side of town.

- That must have been embarrassing.

- It sure was.

I was taking his girl to the movies.

[laughs]

Uh, of course, that was before I knew your mother.

- Of course.

- I wish I knew what to do about Joyce.

- Well, I don't think there's anything

you can do right now, except wait

for her to cool off and think it over.

- Yeah, but I can't wait too long.

We've got a fraternity party coming up Saturday night,

and I'd kind of like to take her to it.

- Hey, I have an idea.

No, it probably wouldn't work.

- Well, come on, Pop. What is it?

Anything's worth a try.

- Uh, does Joyce know many of your fraternity brothers?

- Well, no.

In fact, she doesn't know many people at school.

- Well, then why don't you arrange

to have one of your friends run into her four or five times

tomorrow?

You know, he just happens to be where she is, and make it very

obvious so she can't miss it.

- Hey, that's a great idea.

Then she'll figure if this could happen to her,

it could happen to me.

And maybe I could get Wally to do it.

She doesn't know him.

- Well, yeah, Wally would be fine.

Don't you think it's a good idea, Harriet?

- Well, there's only one thing wrong with it.

She'll probably wind up going to the dance with Wally.

- Oh, come on.

Don't listen to your mother.

She's always looking for story switches.

- OK, I must admit, it sounds interesting.

[knocks on door] - Hi, folks.

- Oh, hi, Wally. - Oh, hi, Wally.

- Hi, Wally.

- I hope you don't mind my barging in like this,

but you know me, I'm the aggressive type.

- Oh, that's OK.

As a matter of fact, there's a big piece

of apple pie waiting for you.

- Oh, you know, somehow I was hoping you'd say that.

- In fact, that's why you came over, wasn't it?

- It was not.

I came over to help you with your commercial law assignment.

- Well, come on then. Let's get going.

- What about my pie? - You can get that later.

You don't want to get hooked into helping with the dishes,

do you? - Heck no.

- Mrs. Nelson, you won't let Mr. Nelson steal my pie, will you?

- I'll do my best.

- Now, let me get this straight.

A man is lying in the street unconscious,

and a doctor comes along and administers first-aid to him.

The man is obligated to pay the doctor for his services?

- That's right.

It's called a quasi contract.

- But what if the doctor's a good friend of the man and he's

just doing him a favor?

- You know, I'm glad you brought that up.

- You see, I told you I know a lot about this course.

- No, this has nothing to do with the course.

- Well, what are you talking about?

- Well, I was just wondering if you'd do me a favor.

- Well, how soon can you pay me back?

- No, it's not money.

You see, Joyce is kind of mad at me,

and I thought you might help me out.

- Well, I told you, I don't even know her.

- Well, I know that.

That's one of the reasons why I'm asking you.

- What do I have to do?

- Well, come on, let's go downstairs and get the pie.

- You mean right now? - Yeah.

It's much easier for me to talk to you while you're eating.

- Oh, boy!

[music playing]

- That's Joyce, right over there.

- The good-looking girl with a gray sweater?

- Yeah, that's right. - OK.

Now, what do I do?

- Well, when she comes by, let her see you.

- You mean just stand in front of her?

- No, drop some books or something.

I don't care what you do, just as long

as you attract her attention.

You can think of something.

- Well, OK.

- It's chapter five.

- No, we had chapter five last week.

It's chapter six.

- It's going to be a wonderful party.

Just about everybody's going.

- Oh, what a sham!

Well, you know how it is.

Accidents will happen.

- Some accident.

What are you, a wise guy or something?

- No, no!

Well, I'll see you girls around the campus.

- What a creep!

- At least I attracted her attention.

Do you think I overdid it?

- You not only overdid it, you got the wrong girl.

I said the girl in the gray sweater.

- But they both have gray sweaters!

But don't worry. Send me in again, coach.

I'll do better next time.

- Look, Wally, this is important.

This is important to me.

- OK, OK!

- Isn't that beautiful?

Look the way the sun shines on the wing.

- Well, congratulations.

That makes you 0-2.

- Well, I tried.

Hey, look, isn't that beautiful?

The way the sun shines on the wing?

- Are you kidding?

- Oh, pardon me. Do you know what time it is?

- Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have a watch.

- Oh.

Well, it's 10 after 12:00.

Pretty good, huh? - Hey, that was great.

Keep up the good work.

- Oh, jeez.

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry!

- That's OK. - Oh, hi!

- Hi!

What you doing?

- Oh, just out for a little exercise.

- Good for you.

- Well, see you later.

- Goodbye.

- I'm back again.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Well, hi! - Well, hi!

- Gee, this is a coincidence.

We seem to keep running into each other.

- Yes, I've noticed that.

- Well, those things happen, I guess.

- Yeah, I guess they do.

- Uh, would you care to join me? - Oh, thank you.

I was just leaving. - Ah.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- You're doing great. - Oh, thanks.

- Keep up the good work.

- Oh, you know I could do a lot better on a full stomach.

- Hey, that's blackmail. - I know it.

Jack, I'll have a hamburger and a large Coke,

please, and charge it to Rick. - Coming right up.

- Go ahead and call her up.

- Stop reading my mind.

- That's my specialty.

Hasn't your father ever told you?

Go ahead and call her up.

- Well, I don't know whether I should.

- Well, why not?

If she's ever going to get the message,

she's gotten it by now.

- You don't think I ought to give her a little more time

just to make sure?

- When's the dance?

- Tomorrow night.

- Call her up.

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

Oh, hi, Wally.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson.

- Uh, Rick?

- Hi, Rick.

- Hi, Wally.

- Here's the album I borrowed from you.

- This is mine?

- Yeah, you probably don't remember,

but I borrowed it from you last summer.

- Oh, yeah!

Gee, I wonder what happened to this.

Hey, how are things working out with Joyce?

- Well, I think she's finally getting the idea.

In fact, I'm sure of it.

- Do you think I ought to call her?

- Well, no.

I wouldn't call her just yet if I were you.

- Well, why not? What's the matter?

- Well-- [laughs] you know, the darnedest thing happened.

[phone ringing]

- Oh, excuse me.

Hello?

- Rick?

- Oh, hi, Joyce!

Hey, it's Joyce. It must have worked.

She's talking to me.

- Oh, well, I'll leave you two alone.

- Oh, no, don't go.

Gee, I'm glad you called, Joyce.

- Well, in the first place, I want to apologize.

I've been pretty silly about this whole thing.

- Oh, no, that's OK. I understand.

- Well, I can see how it happened

with you and this girl.

You know, it's the darnedest thing,

but the same thing has been happening to me.

- Oh, really?

- Yes.

I must have run into the same boy

about a dozen times in the last two days.

- Oh, how about that?

It worked!

- Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Rick.

- Oh, no, wait a minute.

Well, uh, gee, as long as we kind of understand each other,

how about going to the party with me tomorrow night?

- Well-- well, that's another thing, Rick.

I have a date for tomorrow night.

- You do?

- Yes, with Wally.

- Wally?

- Yes, the boy I keep running into.

- Hey, come back here!

- I'm sorry, Ricky.

I hope you don't mind.

- Oh, well, no, no, of course not.

That's OK.

- Well, anyway, I'll probably see you at the party.

- Well, yeah, if I go.

I'll see you there.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

- Now, before you say one word, remember,

your mother's in the house.

Uh, Rick, be careful.

I may be wearing contact lenses. - Wally.

- Will you give me a chance to explain?

Say, here's the $2 I borrowed from you last year.

- Oh, well, thanks.

Look, don't worry about it.

Everything's all right.

I understand.

- You do?

- Of course I do.

Naturally, I'm not delighted with the whole idea,

but I understand.

- Then you're not mad at me?

- Of course not.

After all, it was my mistake, wasn't it?

You might say it was a calculated risk.

- Would you like to give me the $2 back?

- No!

- I thought you weren't mad at me.

- I'm not mad at you, but I'm not crazy either.

- All I can say is you're sure being a good sport about this.

- Look, let's forget about it.

Have a good time at the dance. - Well, thanks.

I will.

And if there's anything else I can do for you--

Say, here's a candy bar I brought you.

- Oh, thanks a lot. - I'll see you later, Rick.

- OK.

- Uh, Rick?

Was that Joyce you were just talking to on the phone?

- Yeah, it was.

- Well, I hate to sound immodest,

but I guess my little scheme worked out pretty well, huh?

- Yeah, it sure did.

In fact, it worked out a little too well.

- What do you mean?

- Well, she's going to the dance with Wally.

- Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Rick.

- Oh, that's OK.

After all, I should have expected it.

That's what Mom said was going to happen.

- Yeah, I know it.

- Do you think Mom is psychic?

- Either that or awful lucky.

I've been trying to figure that out for the last 25 years.

- Figure what out?

- Oh, little things like how did you know the scheme was

going to backfire.

- You mean Joyce is going to the dance with Wally tomorrow

night? - That's right.

- Yeah, exactly as you predicted.

- Well, you don't seem too upset about it.

- Well, to be honest with you, Mom,

I keep thinking about this other girl.

She's pretty cute, you know?

- Well, why don't you ask her to go to the dance.

- Well, I would if I could find her.

All I know about her is that her name is Linda

and she keeps losing things.

- Well, uh, Rick, why don't you circulate around the campus

tomorrow?

You're bound to run into her sooner or later.

- Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

I think I'll do that.

- And if everything else fails, you

can always go to the movies with your old mom and dad.

- It's a deal.

[playful music]

Pardon me.

- Are you looking for something?

- A young lady lost her shoes.

- Oh, wait a second.

Is she a pretty girl with dark brown hair?

About 18? - Well, yes, she is.

Do you know her?

- Yeah, I think I do.

- Here they are.

Thank you.

Uh, Mom, Pop, I'll see you later.

- Where are you going?

- Well, if I don't come right back, I've gone to the dance.

- Thank you very much.

- Oh, that's OK.

- Uh, Linda?

- Oh, hi, Rick. - Boy, am I lucky.

I've been looking all over for you.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, I thought you'd might like

to go to our fraternity party tonight.

There's still plenty of time.

- Oh, gee, I'm not exactly dressed for a party.

- Oh, it's very informal.

Besides, you look great.

- OK. - Well, come on then.

Let's go.

- Well, wait a second.

I want to put my shoes on first.

I'm sure it's not that informal.

- Oh, sorry.

[rock music]

- Uh, pardon me.

Did you lose something?

- Well, yes, I guess I did.

My mother always says I have a talent for losing things,

but this is the first time I've ever lost my date.

- Uh, say, is your name Linda?

- Yes, it is.

- Well, isn't that a coincidence?

- You mean your name's Linda, too?

- No, uh, what I mean is it's a coincidence that you

lost your date.

You see, I lost mine, too.

- Really?

- Well, no, not really.

You might say I'm sort of doing a friend a favor, at least

that's the way it started out.

But, you know, all of a sudden, I'm

beginning to realize I'm doing myself a favor.

- Say, you're kind of cute.

Haven't I seen you someplace before?

- Well, not me specifically, but I'm rather a standard type.

You see, sometimes I'm the guy who's engaged to the girl

at the beginning of the picture.

But more often, I'm the leading man's best friend.

- Sounds interesting.

- Well, it is in a way.

You see, whenever they have their little quarrel,

she cries on my shoulder, and I try to comfort her.

- And maybe even take her to the fraternity dance and then

conveniently get lost?

- Uh, something like that.

I hope you don't mind. - Of course not.

After all, that's showbiz.

- [laughs] Shall we dance?

- Love to.

- Well, what's wrong?

Don't you like dancing with me anymore?

- Oh, sure.

It's just that I don't want my date

to think I've deserted her.

- She's probably dancing with somebody else,

and having a wonderful time.

- You know, you're right.

She's right over there dancing with Wally.

- Who?

- Your date, Wally, right over there.

- Oh, well, isn't that nice?

- OK, go ahead and say it.

- Say what?

- How did I know that was Wally?

- Why shouldn't you?

He's your best friend, isn't he?

- Joyce?

- Yeah?

- How did Wally's my best friend?

- Well, he told me.

Besides, who else would go to all that trouble?

Accidentally running into me every place

I went while you hid behind trees and bushes and anything

else you could find.

- You mean you knew all along?

- Well, sure.

And when I didn't see you, one of my sorority sisters did.

We girls stick together, you know?

- You know, it would have served you right if I hadn't

come to the dance at all.

- I was sure you would.

Why do you think we sent Linda to the movies?

- What's this? - Well, you know what they say--

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Linda was pledged to our sorority this afternoon.

- You know, you remind me of another girl I know.

- Thank you.

I think she's real cute.

- Oh, I don't mean Linda.

I mean my mother.

- Well, yes, I know, so do I. And I

think it was real nice of your mother to suggest

that you go to the movies.

- You know something?

This whole thing is a conspiracy, a big conspiracy.

- Well, I told you, we girls stick together.

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

has been brought to you by the Coca-Cola Company.

- The best place to stop on any road is where you see this

familiar, friendly cooler that serves you ice-cold Coca-Cola.

- This has been an ABC television

network film presentation.