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I'm going down south, I'm going to have
myself time.
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Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks
without temptation.
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Going down south, I'm going to leave my
woes behind.
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And we're parking day or night, people
spouting how to never.
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And on up south, I'm going to see if I
can't unwind.
6
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,500
Come on down south out there and meet
some friends of mine.
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What time? Around 6 -7.
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6 -7!
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Oh, hey, Annie. Ladies, did you guys do
your homework last night?
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I tried to, but I got stuck on problems
6 and 7.
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7!
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Hey,
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Eric. I know, Butters, I know. Don't do
it to me. It's too funny.
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But I just did a 6 -7 with Annie and
Megan at the same time.
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Yeah, five minutes ago I snuck up on
Wendy and totally 6 -7'd her from
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Wow! Hey, Scott, how's your diabetes,
man?
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My diabetes?
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Yeah, what's your A1C at?
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6 .7!
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6 .7!
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Oh, my God! So fucking funny!
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All right, everyone, listen up.
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I've gotten a lot of reports of
disruptions in the classroom and some
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numerology shit going on. So I want to
remind you this is a power Christian
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school, and I am a power Christian
principal, and we will be PC.
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So now I want you to hear from someone
who is the highest authority on biblical
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prophecies. This person is an absolute
expert on the end of days and the coming
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of the Antichrist.
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Please welcome Mr. Peter Thiel.
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Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist.
Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist.
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I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the
Antichrist.
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Let's learn about the Antichrist today.
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Hello, kids, I'm Peter Thiel, and I'm
here to talk to you about the
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Okay, so first, what is the Antichrist?
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The Antichrist is a newer, more human
form of Satan that will soon walk the
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earth. We don't know how soon it will
walk the earth, but it could be within
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next six to seven weeks.
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You see, Satan was a fallen angel, and
God punished him. And to make sure Satan
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could never have offspring, the Lord God
did shrink Satan's asshole to the size
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of a tiny little pinhole so nothing
could ever penetrate and ejaculate
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it. So Satan could never have a butt
baby until along came Mr. Donald Trump,
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whose penis is so teeny, teeny, tiny it
could actually fit in Satan's asshole.
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How small is Donald Trump's penis?
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Somewhere between 6 and 7 centimeters.
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6 and 7!
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Hey, look, this is very important,
people, okay? The Antichrist is coming.
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Bible refers to the eagle, which refers
to America, the fourth seal broken in
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hell coming to earth. It's right here in
Revelation 6... 6, 7.
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6, 7!
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Good,
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and breathe in through your nose.
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And out through your mouth. In two,
three, four.
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And exhale. Two, three, four. Good. Let
your shoulders soften. Let your jaw
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relax.
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Now gentle pressure on the hips as your
partner exhales.
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Good. This is so boring.
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How about you shut up and do your job?
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Ah, come on, Jake.
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How about we just go home and fuck? We
haven't had sex in forever.
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That's because it's bad for the baby.
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Dad, fuck the baby. This is stupid. Did
you just say fuck the baby?
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I didn't mean like really fuck the baby.
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No, you know what? You can just go home.
I'll finish this myself.
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You can go home and jack off if you
want.
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news, boss. We just shut down another
abortion clinic.
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Oh, yeah, great. That's great.
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Yes, boss. You've made all the
Christians so happy.
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Of course, there is still one more
clinic that will still perform abortions
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right here in town.
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There is?
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Oh, yes. How unfortunate that some
babies will not be able to be born.
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As Christians, we can't allow this to
continue.
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Perhaps... You should go speak with this
abortion doctor personally.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Come in.
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PC Principal, do you have a minute?
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Sure, Jesus. What do you need?
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I'm starting to wonder if I really fit
in here.
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Of course you fit in. This school has
been a cesspool of heathen left -wing
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little bitches and only our faith is
going to set them right.
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Could I ask exactly what...
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branch of Christianity, are you? The
kind that loves his country and doesn't
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tolerate any fucking fags.
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Yeah, see, I really think I don't belong
here.
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Look, I understand it's a tough
transition.
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You know, the vice principal here had
the same conflict as you, but she's
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come around.
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The vice principal? Your wife?
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That's right.
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Can you send in a strong Christian
woman, please?
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She was saying this wasn't the place for
her anymore, but just this last
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weekend, she converted to Christianity.
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You wanted to see me?
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Yeah, strong Christian woman. I was just
telling Jesus here about our faith. Oh,
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yes. It's been such a blessing.
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She converted on Saturday. What do you
think, huh? You ever seen a more
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Christian chick in your fucking life?
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Never. Look, I know it's a hard
adjustment, but just stick with it, and
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going to fit in here just fine, Jesus.
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Everything go good at school today,
honey?
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Yep, yep. School was good. School was
pretty good.
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Is everything okay, honey?
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Yeah, everything's fine. It's fine.
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Mom, can I ask you something?
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Sure, Eric.
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Do you know, on average, at what age
kids lose their baby teeth?
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Oh, I'm not sure, Eric. I guess usually
around six, seven.
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Eric, what?
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Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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I was just thinking about your menstrual
cycle.
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My menstrual cycle?
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Yeah, I was just wondering when you
actually menstruate, ma 'am.
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Like, roughly, how many days does that
last?
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Well, Eric, it's usually around six to
seven days that a woman...
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Eric, sweetie.
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Eric,
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what is going on? This keeps happening.
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Mom, you got to tell me something.
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Of course, honey.
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Roughly how many nights have I been
throwing up at dinner?
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I don't know, Eric. It's probably been
six or seven nights.
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Hey, Jesus, get your stuff, man. We're
going out for drinks.
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What? Look, I know it's been hard for
you trying to adjust here and
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so the wife and I were talking and we
found a nice Christian lady we're going
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set you up with.
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Oh, I don't think so.
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Thanks, but... Oh, come on, man. She's a
really great woman and she just
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converted to Christianity.
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My wife met her at the same place that
she became Christian.
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So then I was like, you know what? I
need a new direction in my life. It's
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I just got so sick of everyone being
such a pussy all the time. And all this
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woke garbage and women trying to be men.
So I just started reading the Bible,
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you know? I mean, I didn't actually read
the Bible, but I listened to a lot of
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podcasts. And once I went through my
transition, I was like, this is great.
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Only now guys are always checking out my
Christianity.
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Sorry, could you all excuse me? I need
to go to the bathroom.
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Sure thing, Jesus.
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He thinks nice.
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Davidson? Miss Coco Slutty Davidson?
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Oh, yeah, that's me.
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I'm Coco Slutty Davidson. I'm just here
to get an abortion.
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The doctor's right in here, ma 'am.
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Hey, Doc!
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All right, listen. I need you to perform
an abortion.
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It's not for me. It's for my partner.
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And you can't tell anyone, not even my
partner.
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How am I supposed to do that?
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00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,520
Well, you're going to come with me, see?
And we're going to sneak into my house,
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and you're going to suck that thing out
while everyone's asleep.
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Your house wouldn't happen to be white,
would it?
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Hey, how do you know that?
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Look, Mr. President, I've seen the news.
If you got Satan pregnant, that's your
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responsibility.
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Even if I wanted to help you, sir, I
have no idea how to perform an abortion
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the offspring of Satan. To do that, you
need some kind of expert on the
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Antichrist.
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Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist.
Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist.
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I'm Peter Thiel, and I know about the
Antichrist.
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All right, listen.
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You people have a very serious problem
here. Your students appear to be in some
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kind of cult involving the numbers 6 and
7.
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00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:54,030
Alright, so what should we do?
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I'm going to need access to all your
school's private data. School records,
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health records, and of course, all
security cameras.
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00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:05,430
Oh, no. Look, I don't think we need it.
Is this really what we've come to?
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Freely handing people's personal data
over to some tech billionaire preaching
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00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:10,030
shit about the Bible?
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00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:13,750
You got a problem with Jesus, bro?
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Come on, man. You became a Christian
like three months ago.
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Yeah, I've got fucking faith, dude. What
do you have, you little bitch?
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You want to throw down, bro?
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Okay, hey, hey, hey. You want to see
what it feels like to talk shit about
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Christians, dude?
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I'll kick your heated ass, bro!
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00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:43,430
All right, just
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try to be still, Eric.
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Doctor, could I ask a question?
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Of course.
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About how long do you need me to be
still?
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00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,300
Just about ten seconds, Eric.
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00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:54,840
Okay.
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00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,040
So how long now?
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Just another six, seven seconds, Eric.
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00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:00,960
I'm
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sorry,
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00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,000
Mrs. Carmen, but we can't pinpoint the
source of his illness.
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00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,600
If he continues to vomit this much
daily, I'm afraid it could be life
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00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:24,220
-threatening. But, Doctor, if I'm not
able to keep any food down, roughly how
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long would it take... Roughly how long
would it take for the human body to die?
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00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,360
Eric, I'm going to be very honest with
you.
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00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:35,680
Without sufficient nutrients, the body
shuts down after six to seven weeks.
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00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:45,940
Excuse me, that's my computer.
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00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,280
Yes, and your computer has all the
personal data of the students here. It's
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00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,360
okay, Jesus. Peter Thiel knows what he's
doing. I've downloaded all the
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00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,120
students' information and loaded them
into an AI face detection program so the
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00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,400
school security cameras can watch their
every move.
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00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,600
Now look.
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00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:04,580
Two students passing each other in the
hallway. They give each other the sign.
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00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:05,920
6 -7.
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00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:11,340
Exactly 67 seconds later, this odd parka
-wearing child makes the same gesture.
201
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,960
And then...
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00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,360
Inside the girl's bathroom, two girls
doing the same thing.
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00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,840
Wait, why is there a camera inside the
girl's bathroom?
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To stop the Antichrist.
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00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:24,600
Now I'm following the lead on this girl
here.
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00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:29,840
She went home to 67 Malavista Drive.
Going through her family's medical
207
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:35,820
I found that her father has testicular
cancer and 67 days ago had one testicle
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00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:38,680
removed. That really feels like none of
our business.
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00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,480
I don't know how I'm supposed to work
with nosy Nancy peering over my shoulder
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all the time.
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00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,560
Jesus, let's you and me have a quick
chin wiggle out in the hall.
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00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,120
I'm getting close.
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00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,140
I almost have the key to stop it from
happening.
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00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,920
We are running out of time, Mr. Teal.
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00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,980
The Antichrist is coming.
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00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:08,950
Satan is shopping for baby strollers as
we speak.
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00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:14,530
If I'm going to learn what these numbers
mean, I'm going to need access to every
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00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:15,530
government database.
219
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:21,510
You will have it, Mr. Tehan. Nothing is
more important than making sure this
220
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,570
baby is not born.
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00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:31,310
Look, man.
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I know it's tough.
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00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,480
But you've got to understand that
drastic times call for drastic measures.
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00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:40,420
I just don't feel good about treating
people this way.
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00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:45,120
I think the most important thing still
has to be loving and respecting each
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00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,120
other.
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00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,840
All right, man, I need to ask you
something, and I need you to tell me the
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00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:51,779
truth.
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00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:52,980
Are you a fag?
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00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:58,240
No, that has nothing to do with it. Are
you fucking sure? I'm just trying to say
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00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,680
that I'm really confused right now.
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00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:02,930
Okay, but confused like you don't know
if you're attracted to dudes or like
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00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:05,710
what? Like how we can just change
everything about who we are.
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00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,490
I think you still just don't understand
what Christians today are about.
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00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:12,830
Come on.
236
00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:14,290
There's someone I think you should talk
to.
237
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:20,590
Oh, yes, the Antichrist. I've listened
to a lot of podcasts about that.
238
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:24,430
Everyone keeps saying how the Antichrist
is coming, but I'm like, he already
239
00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:26,810
did. I was married to him in 2018.
240
00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:31,410
But seriously, if he saw how Christian I
was now, he'd probably shit his pants.
241
00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:32,870
Don't be jealous.
242
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:34,390
He's so funny.
243
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,160
No faith in my sleeping.
244
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,360
Yeah, that's all he ever does anymore.
245
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:10,880
Oh, boss.
246
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,660
If you're going to jack off, shall I
fetch your comrade?
247
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,640
I wasn't jacking off.
248
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,900
Sure thing, boss. I'll go get your
comrade.
249
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,600
What is taking you so long?
250
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,600
I'm very close to finding the secret of
the numbers. I've narrowed it down to
251
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,980
one little boy who seems more possessed
than the others.
252
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,460
Then deal with him.
253
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,000
And keep it quiet.
254
00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:39,040
Nobody can know that we are working
together.
255
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:44,640
When I become president, I will give you
full access to everyone's deterrent.
256
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:49,480
I've already spoken with the mother. And
I'm on my way now to face the child.
257
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,200
Peter, dear. No!
258
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:08,140
Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist.
Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist.
259
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,720
I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the
Antichrist.
260
00:17:13,220 --> 00:17:15,460
Let's deal with the Antichrist today.
261
00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:18,380
Is your son home?
262
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,020
Yes, Mr.
263
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,060
Thiel.
264
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,640
He's right upstairs.
265
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:43,780
Eric, I'm Peter Thiel.
266
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,700
I'm here to help our country.
267
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,040
Okay.
268
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:53,580
I came to see you in an Uber, Eric.
269
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,020
Would you like to know how long it took
me to get here?
270
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,310
Hang on.
271
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:10,970
It took around six or seven minutes. I'm
not... No way!
272
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,010
No way!
273
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:19,350
You know, they're all just a bunch of
libtards anyways.
274
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,850
I know what's up. I listen to podcasts.
275
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:24,190
You want to know who I think the
Antichrist is?
276
00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:28,890
Greta Thunberg, with his stupid haircut
and her dumb bangs. Someone should shake
277
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,250
out whatever's up her ass.
278
00:18:32,189 --> 00:18:35,210
I can't. I just can't.
279
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:43,290
Everything all right, bud?
280
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,830
No, everything's not all right. I don't
know what I'm doing here.
281
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,510
You're trying to get with the program,
bro.
282
00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:53,030
Peggy Rockbottom is a hot Christian
girl. Now stop acting gay.
283
00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:58,150
Look, I don't know what you think
Christianity is, but it has nothing to
284
00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,730
that. What do you say?
285
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,980
I'm saying that you and a lot of other
people seem to have a very warped sense
286
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:05,200
of what Christianity is.
287
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:06,720
Are you questioning my faith?
288
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:08,480
You want to fucking go?
289
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,100
No, I don't want to fucking go.
290
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,320
You got a problem, bro?
291
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,880
No, I don't have a problem. You actually
have a problem. You need a way to bully
292
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,920
people and you're using the Bible to do
it.
293
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,100
You like that?
294
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,680
Yeah. You want some more?
295
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,520
I'm not going to fight you.
296
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:31,000
Damn right you won't, because you're a
gay little pussy.
297
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:34,780
Yeah, don't come back.
298
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:36,220
You're going to get some more, bitch.
299
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,320
Tell me what it means.
300
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:47,120
The Lord labored six days, and on the
seventh he rested.
301
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,780
You will tell me the significance?
302
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,780
There's nothing more I can do here.
303
00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:59,360
I have to take him to Washington, D .C.
304
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:04,920
Washington? Oh, no, he can't travel now.
He's very sick.
305
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:09,180
Your son is the key to saving our
country, Miss Cartman.
306
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:11,660
Everything we hold dear could end.
307
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,140
We have to unlock the secrets he holds,
no matter what it takes.
308
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,660
Oh, the time has come.
309
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:35,340
And you know that you're the only one to
say,
310
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,940
okay.
311
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:44,900
Where you going? What you looking for?
312
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:51,500
You know those boys don't want to play
no more with you.
313
00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:54,180
It's true.
24838
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