Original subtitles

50, 60, 55, 60, shut up, 75, 80,

61, 83, 84, shut up, 85, 86,

1, 1, 1.

It's still short, fellas.

Better count it again, sir.

You didn't get all the penny.

No way, guys. We're still missing money.

I didn't do it. I didn't do it.

It was like some foreigner.

Yeah.

Hey,

baby, yo, baby, hey, baby, yo. This chick doesn't sing very good.

Yeah.

She's in, like, just pop.

Okay, have better.

Is she, like, telling a joke?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I get it.

Why don't you shut up so we can hear it?

Do you love me?

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm

-hmm. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, it's like he was talking about all this stuff, and then that guy grabbed

his wiener.

I'm going to have to tell that one to my uncle, Mike.

Yeah, he'd get it.

Oh, that chick is all over him. Check it out.

Yeah, it's like he was just minding his own business, trying to grab his wiener.

I heard that, yeah.

And then she just came up and got in his face.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, he was just trying to grab his wiener, you know? Uh

-huh. And then she just jumped on him.

That never happened with me.

I grab my wiener all the time.

Mm -hmm.

In fact, I think I'm going to grab my wiener right now.

Yeah.

Damn it, Sheila.

Do that outside.

Yo, yo, yo.

I didn't do it.

Yeah.

I was a foreigner.

What are you doing, Beavis?

I'm practicing.

Hey, buddy.

What are they going to do to us?

Uh... I think they're gonna, like, make us take one of those polygrip tests.

Oh, yeah, that sounds cool. I found some of that stuff at Anderson's house, and

it's like, I put it on my teeth, and I was walking around going... No, dumbass.

Not that stuff.

It's like this lie detector test.

I didn't do it. Shut up, Beavis.

Check this out.

There's, like, this trick to taking these lie detector tests.

Really? Cool.

It's like... All you have to do is hold your breath.

Not now, ass munch.

Oh, yeah.

I know that. I was just, like, practicing.

Beavis, you suck as a liar.

Liar, liar, liar, liar, pants on.

Whoa.

Head, butt head.

Uh, yeah.

Mr. O 'Brien will see you now.

I didn't do it.

All right, now I'm going to ask you some questions.

Failure to be truthful in your responses will be interpreted as an

acknowledgement of guilt. Do you understand?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, I mean, no.

Just tell the truth and you have nothing to worry about. Let's begin.

If you believe you got to keep your dial right there with Beavis and Butthead,

they'll be right back.

Okay, now, please tell me your name.

Butthead.

Okay, good. Now, Butthead, could you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?

Uh, four.

Well, it's three, actually, but since you think it's four, you didn't really

lie, so that's good.

Now, Butthead, tell me, in all of your life, have you ever stolen anything?

I didn't do it, bunghole.

I'll repeat the question, Butthead. Have you ever stolen anything?

Uh...

But I did it.

Beavis, Mr. O 'Brien will see you now.

You're not going to put those on my nan, are you?

Julia, I'm not getting a reading. Could you check those connections?

You can if you want. You know, put them on my nads.

Good. Well, young man, I'd like to get a base reading here. Could you say

something?

Yeah.

Just say anything, the first thing that comes to mind.

I killed a bunch of people once.

So you think you're going to live your life alone?

Yeah. In darkness and seclusion.

Darkness? Yeah.

That feeling of loneliness never leaves you. Oh, sort of. It's hard to know

where you go.

Um... And then, you meet me.

Yeah, I'd like to meet you.

It's talking to a chick, Beaver.

You want to know why? Yeah, yeah, why, why, why, why? You're a liar!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Lie. Lie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lie. Lie. Lie. Yeah, yeah. I'm a liar, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I'll tell you things that you already know.

Ah, okay. So you can say, I really identify with you so much.

No. Hey, isn't that the wrong letter on his chest?

Oh, yeah.

Isn't that supposed to be like a five on there or something?

Yeah.

Maybe because, like, he's a liar, he put the wrong letter on there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a liar, liar.

Lying rule.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

I promise.

See, he's not a liar.

Authorities are saying tonight that they believe they have finally found the

killer in the infamous Inagata DeVita slaying some 25 years ago.

Police say this boy is the so -called Hippie Ripper.

who in 1969 killed 16 hippies who were living in a van next to the shooting

gallery outside on the highway.

Asked how a teenage boy could have committed a crime that happened more

decades ago, a police spokesman explained, quote, he's very clever.

Get a haircut, hippie.

Hey, buddy, I think the TV's on slow. Fix it.

Viva, you can't put the TV on slow.

Oh, really?

You're thinking of, like, the VCR or something.

Oh, yeah.

I think this chick just, like, woke up or something.

Yeah, yeah. She probably doesn't start really rocking until later, like in the

afternoon or something.

Yeah.

He probably rocks it around 4 and then, like, you know, he has a late lunch and

then goes to the mall.

Yeah, yeah. She goes shopping for a new nightie and then she, like, takes a nap

and then she gets up and rocks, like, until, like, 3 or 4 in the morning and

then she sleeps till noon.

Yeah. Yeah.

Musicians rule.

Check it out. Her guitar is broken.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. They should, like, break more guitars.

Uh, yeah.

They should break that escalator, too. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop on it.

Kick it.

Yeah.

I hate those things.

Yeah. Every time someone brings one of those in the club, I just, like, stick

hand on top of it and, like, lift off the whole club.

Hey, Ventura.

Pet detective.

She's horny.

Chick's got that look like when I talk to him and stuff.

Yeah, and they just, like, leave.