Original subtitles

Hey, Buttet, how come we're going to Stewart's house?

Cuz, I've heard he's got diarrhea.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, boys, for bringing Stewart's homework to school for him. He's so

sick, he spent all night in the bathroom.

Really?

Diarrhea?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Now, boys, come on.

Say, have you boys eaten breakfast?

Uh... Um, I think I did once.

Well, you can't go to school on an empty stomach.

Here, I made some breakfast burritos for Stuart.

But he's not feeling well enough to eat.

Whoa.

Burritos for breakfast.

Yeah, yeah. Cool.

You boys eat up. I'm going to check on Stuart.

He probably needs more TP.

Hey, Beavis.

You think she's going to put a thermometer up his butt?

Yeah. And then she's going to put it in his mouth.

Yeah.

What the hell is this crap?

This isn't a burrito.

Yeah. I got eggs in mine.

She tricked us. No wonder Stuart's got diarrhea.

Yeah. Let's see what else I have.

Yeah.

This sucks.

There's nothing good in here.

Hey, butt munch, give me some.

What?

What the hell was that?

Hmm.

What the hell is this?

Uh, I think this is a primus.

Uh, no.

This is a feminefrious tubloideal buttoid.

Really? These guys, like, crawl up into people's butts and, like, go exploring.

Oh, yeah.

I know.

What are those lights for?

That's so like they can see when they're crawling around inside your butt.

No way. You mean it's dark in your butt?

Yeah.

You know when they say stick it where the sun don't shine?

They're talking about your butt.

Oh. I thought it meant like under your pillow or something.

But, like, um, if it's dark inside your butt, then, like, how do the turds find

their way out?

Uh, I think they can, like, be in the dark like that.

Ah.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Hey, buddy, let me go see these guys in concert.

Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Thamonephrius tubloidial buttnoid.

The Thamonephrius tubloidial buttnoid have left your pan.

It's ironic that we in this country who cherish freedom occasionally support

governments who are less responsive to human rights.

We're very fortunate to have had a very stable government for more than 20

years. The struggle for freedom is by no

means over. It still goes on today in places like Nicaragua, El Salvador, and

Panama.

Bunghole. Bunghole.

Beavis, please sit down.

Are you threatening me?

I am Cornholio. Come on, Beavis. Take your seat.

Now, technically, America is not a democracy.

Do you have TV? Give me for my bunghole?

Get out of here, Beavis.

We're very fortunate, although, in other parts of the world, they aren't so

lucky.

Beavis, where are you going?

Where did Beavis go?

That was cool.

Coming up next, Butthead begins to suspect Beavis of codependency. Stay

I am Cornholio. I need chippy for my bunghole.

Hey, would you like to see my bunghole?

Butthead, where did Beavis go?

Uh, I don't know.

Is Beavis having some kind of a problem that I should know about?

Uh, he ate like 27 candy bars, and then he like drank a six -pack of root beer.

Hmm, that's strange. I just read about a study that said sugar isn't supposed to

cause hyperactivity.

I am Cornholio.

Whoa. That was cool.

I need tippy for my bunghole.

Come out with your pants down.

Oh, yeah.

Never mind.

Listos? Escuchen.

Ejercicio 20.

Rápido ruedan las ruedas los carros cargados de azúcar del ferrocarril.

Bueno? Repitan, por favor.

I am Cornolio. I need tipi for my bunghole.

Señor Beavis, ¿dónde está tu hall pass?

Are you threatening me?

You will give me tipi, bungholio.

Beavis, just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

Do not make my bunghole angry.

Do you have any olio?

Get the hell out of my class and go straight to the principal's office, now.

Um, okay.

The principal, he will give me tipi.

I would hate for my bunghole -io to get polio.

Las luces son prendidas y nadie en casa.

Where I come from, we have no bunghole.

Damn it. If this is Bon Jovi, I'm gonna... Whoa.

Yeah. Her back's all bent out of shape.

What's wrong?

Viva.

You butthole.

When you see a chick in a window like that, she's got her back all bent out of

shape.

That means she's hot.

I don't know about it.

I think she was, like, injured.

Well, whatever it was, it gave me a stiffy.

Oh, yeah.

Hey,

Bela.

I thought you called the cable company and told them to quit playing this crap.

Oh, yeah, I did, but then, like, when the guy answered, I said, excuse me, do

you have 12 -pound balls?

And I hung up.

Oh, yeah.

It was cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, women, yeah.

Oh, is that Ross Perot?

Yeah.

I think that's Ross Perot, like, from a long time ago.

Oh, yeah.

Folks, it's simple. When a problem comes along, you must whip it.

It looks like some kind of bum -snoidy old butt -snoid.

Now whip it.

Into the cave.

Shape it up.

Get a train.

Go forward.

Move ahead.

Try to detect it. It's not too late. Do it.

Get the tape.

Come on.

Move ahead. Try to detect it.

Well,

at least I tried.

You just sit there on your app and make me do all the work.

Yeah.

Check out those hats.

Those are cool.

You can stack one inside the other. They, like, have all different colors,

know. It's like you can wear one one day and then another the other day. And,

like, you put them on your head, you know.

And that's like, they can protect you from, like, harmful rays.

Leave us.

You're a damn weirdo.

Shut up, buddy.

I'm not from here, you know.

Look, I don't know what your problem is.

But I simply cannot have students wandering the hallways during class,

interrupting other classes, and giving prophecies of a great plague.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry about that.

Wait. What was that?

Did you just say you're sorry?

You did.

You said you were sorry, didn't you?

Yeah, see?

I knew it. You kids have never apologized to me once.

Maybe this is a new day for you. Maybe punishment isn't the answer.

I'm going to let you go.

You know, I'm actually proud of you today.

Take some candy with you.

Now you're going right back to class, right, Beavis?

TV for my bunghole.

I'm the great Cornholio.

Do you need a hall pass?

Are you threatening me?

I no need hall pass.

I need olio for my bunghole.

I'm the great Cornholio.

I have no bunghole.

Bungholio.

I need TV for my bunghole.

We are without bunghole.