Original subtitles

Hey, buddy.

Aren't we supposed to, like, do something?

Uh, I think we're supposed to, like, turn something up or something.

Wow, wow.

Hey, answer today's trivia teaser and win a chance to guest DJ on Rabid Ron in

the morning.

Okay, everybody, here goes.

What history -making English pop group was known as the Fab Four?

That question sucks.

Yeah.

Math is my worst subject.

Hey, Beavis.

Call anyway.

Cool.

Hey, I guess nobody knows the answer, so the guest DJ slot goes to the next

caller. Hey, bud, it's ringing. It's ringing.

Cool.

And here he is. Hey there, Mr.

Guest DJ, what have you got to say for yourself?

Only $2 to see Sonic Youth?

Yeah, that's a good deal.

Hey, how's it going? What high school you go to?

I go to the same high school you go to. What are you talking about, buddy?

I was talking to the chick, Beavis.

Oh.

Dumbass. Well, you should have said, hey, baby, then.

See? Like that. Hey, baby, how's it going?

Beavis?

Yeah, yeah, go for it, dude. She wants you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it, go for it. She wants you. Come on, slam

her, slam into her. Come on.

Go for it. Come on, grab her. Yeah, yeah, go for it.

Grab her.

Yeah. Come on.

Go for it.

Yeah.

See, now that dude knows how to do it.

Yeah.

Tell the story of the chode.

This is the story of a lonely little chode. He never scored.

That's a yes.

I think that's like your story, Beavis.

All right.

Your story, too.

You sit too close to me, Beavis.

Would you, like, move a little further down the couch?

No, wait, butthead.

You move.

I'm uncomfortable.

If this was a real concert, some roadie would be up there in about two seconds

kicking their asses off the stage.

Yeah, you just, like, throw them out in the crowd.

That dude would probably, like, Break a bunch of bones and stuff, but, you know,

at least he got some.

Now, dude, a lot of guys get nervous when they go on the air, but let me give

you a tip.

Pretend you're talking to one person.

Can I be, like, a chick?

Sure. Hey, baby.

Want to, like, get me on?

Me too.

Hey, Headbangers, this is Rabid Ron bringing you the Tri -County area's

and hottest metal.

Helping out today are our guest DJ winners, Beavis and Butthead.

How you doing, dudes?

Uh, no.

How about you, Beavis?

Check out my butt.

Okay, let's give Beavis and Butthead time to calm down a little and play

something from the new group, Viking Funeral.

What do you say, Butthead?

Uh, they suck.

Hey, guys?

I used to do subversive radio myself in the 70s, okay?

But for this gig, we need a little more positivity, all right?

Hey, Bud, what's he saying?

Uh, I think he said we can't say stuff sucks anymore.

Yeah, we can. Stuff sucks.

It sucks. It sucks. It sucks.

That was cool.

Hey, fellas, if you play ball, there's a $5 gift certificate in it for you from

the Sound Silo.

Courtesy of Rabbit Ron in the morning.

Hey, that was the latest from Viking Funeral. Uh, they don't suck, Rabbit

Yeah, they used to.

No, you said we can't say that anymore.

So, how's it feel to be on the radio, boys?

Pretty cool, huh?

Uh, it doesn't suck.

Hey, Rabbit Ron, like, how old are you?

You look like really old, like more old than you sound or something.

Yeah, you look like an old fart.

By the way, boys, I got some last night. How about you, huh?

I didn't think so.

Whoa, I'm talking about the beavers and the butthead coming right back.

You look like you're really old.

Hey,

if you guys keep screwing around, I'm going to be one pissed off radio

personality. So try to take this a little more seriously, okay?

Hey, we're back with our guest DJs Beavis and Butted. So dudes, how about

music that kicks ass?

Cool.

You said ass.

Kick ass.

You wouldn't expect anything less from the Tri -County Region's ass -kicking

-est radio station.

Ass.

But before we get to the ass -kicking, Butt -Ed, why don't you tell the folks

about our next head -banging contest?

Uh, okay.

Uh, the teeth cooler?

Tenth caller.

Uh, get the free tattoo on his butt.

Yeah, great joke, Butt -Ed.

Of course he means tickets to tonight's Bon Jovi concert.

I'm afraid that's all the time we have for Beavis and Butthead. But keep

listening, because somebody always wins.

You guys get the hell out of here and never come back.

You're old.

Yes, and you suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck,

suck, suck.

Out! Hey, what about our $5 birth certificate, butthole?

Out!

No, I'm sorry, sir. We're not offering the butt tattoo promotion.

No, I'm sorry, sir. We're not offering the butt tattoo promotion.

Radio's not that cool.

Yeah.

For a guy who's supposed to, like, have rabies, Rabbit Ron's a wuss.

I'm glad you enjoyed them, sir, but no, I'm afraid they are not real radio

personalities.

This is a rip -off. It's like...

When I see a Soundgarden video, I want to see Soundgarden, not just, like,

pictures of Soundgarden.

Uh, a video is just a bunch of pictures, Beavis.

What do you mean, butt -head?

Everything on TV is just, like, a bunch of pictures of something.

No, it's not.

Like, sometimes they move.

Uh, yeah, but it's still like moving pictures.

No, it's not. They're moving around.

I mean, they're not moving around, but like in other videos, they're like

around. Be the same.

You're going to see a moving picture of my foot kicking your ass in about two

seconds. Now just shut up and sit still.

All right.

All right, all right.

All my friends are brown and red.

All his friends are brown and red?

What's that supposed to mean?

It means they're like turds.

He's telling his friends, like, that they suck.

Oh, yeah.

No,

sir, I don't have any spare change.

Get those damn spoons out of my face.

Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt.

Get out of here!

Poon man.

Hey,

Buggy. Time to play the radio.

Oh, yeah.

Coming up on the Tri -County Area's, uh, like, number one radio station, uh, ten

in a row thongs that don't suck.

And stuff.

This used to be a cool place until they put these dorks on.

Hey, who is this?

Uh, this is Greta. This time he's gone too far.

Oh, look at that wiener!

Yeah.

Red has got quite a unit on him.

Yeah.

He probably has to wear a dress. It's like he can't fit his unit inside a

pair of pants.

It's like he tries to put his pickets on and he just goes... Yeah.

You know one cool thing about having, like, a big wiener? If I, if I, it

protects your neck, you know? If I, it acts as a shield.

I guess.

But getting kicked in the wiener is no picnic either, Beavis. Yeah, but it

doesn't hurt as bad, but it, trust me.

Here, I'll demonstrate.

Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Oh, I forgot.

You have a small wiener.

You don't have any stand protection.

That was cool.

As soon as my nads feel better, I'm going to beat the living crap out of

You butt -knocker.

Butt -head.

I'm going to kick you in the nap again. Don't call me that.

You pussy.

Thank you.