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1
00:00:11,719 --> 00:00:13,080
What flavor is that?
2
00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:15,820
Blue.
3
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Blue is my favorite flavor.
4
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:21,720
Whoa.
5
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,080
It's Todd.
6
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:25,558
I know.
7
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:26,560
I know.
8
00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:31,540
Sup, douchebags. Frozen sippies, huh?
You get money from the tooth fairy?
9
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,020
Yeah, but we had to, like, kick his ass
first.
10
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:37,620
That's how we roll. You know what I'm
saying?
11
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:40,370
Hey, Todd, where's my money?
12
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,970
I don't have it, bitch.
13
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,410
Would you call me? Bitch. Would you call
me?
14
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:45,710
Whoa.
15
00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:57,890
Beavis. We, like, saw that.
16
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,710
I know. I know.
17
00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:04,810
Someday we'll be able to tell our
grandparents about this.
18
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:09,970
How did you get pregnant?
19
00:01:10,490 --> 00:01:16,730
Well, me and Brandon went to a party one
night and then we came home and... I'm
20
00:01:16,730 --> 00:01:17,730
listening.
21
00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:19,970
Continue.
22
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:25,610
So we were kind of too stupid to be
having sex. Too stupid to be having sex?
23
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:29,030
You can be too stupid to have sex?
24
00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:33,970
Yeah. Maybe I should like study or pay
attention or something.
25
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:40,080
Look over my GED books with me. If angle
A and angle C both equal 70 degrees,
26
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then what is the length of side AB?
27
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,860
The answer is numbers.
28
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,320
She has her smart face on.
29
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:56,380
I'm really excited to get my GED so that
I can go to college.
30
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Boy, this guy is good at having a fake
smile.
31
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:02,840
What I'm excited for in the future.
32
00:02:04,610 --> 00:02:06,450
Unfortunately, you failed the math test.
33
00:02:07,390 --> 00:02:13,950
You got 39 % correct on that one. You
needed a minimum of 65 % to pass that.
34
00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:17,610
You got 39 % correct on that one. You
needed 65.
35
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,810
And I know you suck at math, but that
means you failed.
36
00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:28,530
That would be cool to have this guy's
job and then just, like, make him sit
37
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there forever before you tell him.
38
00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:33,610
I'd be like, now how do you think you
did?
39
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,320
Do you think you gave it your best?
40
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,080
First, tell me a little bit about
yourself. Tell me about your dreams.
41
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:45,520
And then after about an hour, I'd be
like, I'm afraid I have some bad news,
42
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Aubrey.
43
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Your journey ends here.
44
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,100
I'm going home.
45
00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:57,340
Hey, Beaver.
46
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,880
Remember when Todd punched that guy out?
47
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,250
Yeah, that's all I've been thinking
about.
48
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:03,590
Yeah.
49
00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:05,550
That was cool.
50
00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:09,530
It was cool. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly
what I was gonna think.
51
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,390
Listen up, guys.
52
00:03:16,110 --> 00:03:17,110
Whoa.
53
00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:18,790
Speak of the devil.
54
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:22,690
Yeah. This is weird, because, like, we
were just talking about... Hey, shut up!
55
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,049
Now, look.
56
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:27,790
The cops busted me for punching that
guy, and now they're bringing me to
57
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:28,749
for assault.
58
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,750
It really sucks.
59
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,740
Because I was totally acting in self
-defense.
60
00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:33,720
But I don't have to tell you.
61
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,640
You were the only witnesses.
62
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,100
So you know the truth.
63
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,040
Right? Uh, yeah.
64
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,140
We know the truth.
65
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,320
Yeah, you kicked that guy's ass. It was
the coolest thing we have ever seen.
66
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:49,780
That's not what you saw, douchebags.
67
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,520
Tomorrow some pig's going to serve you
with subpoenas.
68
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:55,440
You said subpoenas. It's not funny, man.
69
00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:00,640
You better tell him exactly what you
saw, which is me defending myself. Get
70
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:02,060
Yep.
71
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:03,760
Got it.
72
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:06,100
Got it. You can count on us. You can let
go.
73
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:13,060
That was cool.
74
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,660
So what are we supposed to say?
75
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,519
Like he was defending himself?
76
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:19,880
Yeah.
77
00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:24,170
That guy had the nerve to ask Todd for
the money he owed him, so Todd had no
78
00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:25,810
choice but to kick his ass.
79
00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:27,790
Oh, yeah, he kicked his ass.
80
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,590
That reminds me about Adam.
81
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,850
You have that two dollars that I loaned
you?
82
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:35,750
Uh, I don't have it, bitch.
83
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:38,530
Ah! Butthole! Ow!
84
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:40,170
I'm defending myself.
85
00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:41,710
Ow!
86
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:47,830
I'm gonna level with you boys.
87
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,880
What I'm asking you to do isn't easy.
88
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,900
It's never easy putting your butt on the
line for the sake of the truth.
89
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,720
Uh, what line?
90
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,440
Yeah, my butt already has a line in it.
91
00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:00,280
Right now you're scared. I don't blame
you.
92
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:03,340
I've seen boys younger than you
disemboweled for taking the stand.
93
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:06,540
Cool. But when you're up there, you
won't be alone.
94
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,000
No. You'll be sitting cheek by jowl with
every ordinary citizen who's ever had
95
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,860
the courage to speak out against
injustice.
96
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:17,200
Hey, Beavis, this guy thinks he's, like,
on law and order or something.
97
00:05:19,439 --> 00:05:24,520
Guys like Todd have to be taken off the
street. And with your testimony, I think
98
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,940
we can do it. What do you say?
99
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,780
Uh, are you like the good cop?
100
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,300
Yeah, we want the bad cop now.
101
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:33,480
Go ahead and do that.
102
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:40,580
Is the person who started the fight here
in the courtroom today?
103
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:42,880
Uh, yeah, he's right there.
104
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,300
Would you point to him, please?
105
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:51,310
Uh, him.
106
00:05:51,790 --> 00:05:52,790
Todd.
107
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,390
Yeah, we thought kicking ass, your
honor.
108
00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:58,430
You said you're on her.
109
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:00,930
Oh, yeah.
110
00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:02,690
Your honor.
111
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:06,830
Boy, nothing gets by you, but you should
be a lawyer.
112
00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:15,690
In the go -go dancing industry, it's
very important to have big breasts.
113
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,140
They should do shows about girls that
already have big boobs.
114
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,940
Yeah, that'd be like, you know, more
pleasant.
115
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:30,440
I'm tired of being known as the go -go
dancer with no boobs.
116
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,700
The go -go dancer with no boobs?
117
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,780
That's not a very catchy nickname.
118
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:39,860
I don't know why you're even looking at
this stuff, because I think you're fine
119
00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:40,860
the way you are.
120
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,120
And I think you're fine with your
backwards hat, dumb glasses, and your
121
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,340
beard. Just fine.
122
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,380
Hey, what's that beard?
123
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:53,080
It looks like one of those little toys
where they have the iron filings, and
124
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,080
take the magnet behind it and try to
make his face look all stupid.
125
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,780
Oh, yeah, yeah.
126
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,200
Yeah, yeah.
127
00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:03,300
She's gonna leave him for a guy with a
real beard.
128
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,540
But it wasn't a problem when I had small
boobs, so why should it be a problem
129
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:09,540
when I have big boobs?
130
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:10,900
Uh...
131
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,360
Hold on, it's coming to me.
132
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,120
You're right, Mom.
133
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,860
And then you get home and it's like,
you're not important anymore.
134
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:26,620
That's bullshit.
135
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,760
Well, to you I'm important.
136
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:33,940
Yeah, I'm not talking to you, dumbass.
I'm talking to these cool people from
137
00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:34,940
MTV.
138
00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:39,670
Yeah, get back to your computer under
the stairs and shut up. I know you do.
139
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,749
That's why I'm with you.
140
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:43,410
He's like, I know I'm important to you
because you're a loser.
141
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,670
Yeah, I want to get big boobs.
142
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:51,610
Then I'll be important to cool guys
with, like, lots of money and full
143
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:55,490
and cars and they're not, like, under
the stairs.
144
00:07:55,950 --> 00:08:00,190
He's like, I don't mind the big boobs so
much as all the other guys doing you
145
00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:01,590
while I have to pretend to sleep.
146
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,480
Beavis and Butthead, I've done a little
research on you. Isn't it true that you
147
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,100
once played baseball using a frog as the
ball?
148
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,680
Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I
won.
149
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:22,060
No way, I was a tie. And that you were
once demoted one grade at a time from
150
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,760
10th grade to kindergarten.
151
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,380
Yeah, yeah.
152
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:26,760
Guilty as charged.
153
00:08:28,099 --> 00:08:34,860
Right, right. And isn't it also true
that... And didn't you also
154
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:39,280
once... Your Honor, may we approach the
bench? For God's sake.
155
00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:42,900
The witnesses are inexcusable. I mean,
excused.
156
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,020
Thank you, drive -thru.
157
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,400
Hey,
158
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,400
Beavis. Remember that time we were here?
159
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,180
Todd, what's that?
160
00:08:58,190 --> 00:08:59,250
Guess what, guys?
161
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:04,670
Even though you ratted me out, you're so
unreliable they couldn't convict me. So
162
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:05,489
I'm free.
163
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:08,310
And me and the boys want to give you a
taste of our gratitude.
164
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,530
All night long.
165
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:14,330
Beavis, I want to remember every moment
of this night.
166
00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:18,930
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