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1
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:18,470
Not a funny day, things are going my
way.
2
00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:22,430
Gonna have some fun with my best friend.
3
00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:26,450
A lot of friends, they can't go to work.
4
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,990
Spend some time with the kids.
5
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,970
Spend some time with my best friend.
6
00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:39,050
Spend some time with my best friend.
7
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,440
Hello,
8
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,380
lady. Security!
9
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,020
Every day we go through this. Now stay
out.
10
00:01:12,850 --> 00:01:14,850
Where should we go now, butthead?
11
00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:18,290
Butthead?
12
00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:20,670
Wall.
13
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:23,270
Wall.
14
00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:28,870
The mall rules.
15
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:30,270
Oh, yeah.
16
00:01:38,530 --> 00:01:41,310
Snooki crying or barfing?
17
00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,850
What are you skanks crying about?
18
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,110
What's the problem here?
19
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We will take care of you.
20
00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:54,450
What's it going to be, this mushroom?
21
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:59,250
The only people that I trust in this
house are you, Ploy, and Jenny.
22
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,170
Good. We work here for you, too.
23
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:04,930
Well, they're the only people she
trusts, but they're not the only people
24
00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:05,930
has sex with.
25
00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:07,850
I love you.
26
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:12,100
He's like my big brother. I love him.
But you usually don't have sex with your
27
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,059
big brother.
28
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,060
Yeah.
29
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,900
She usually doesn't have sex with her
big brother.
30
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:22,540
But, you know, sometimes, you know,
you're DTF, you know, no one else is
31
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:23,700
It's dark.
32
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,160
Mom and dad are at the movies.
33
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:33,160
Me and Jenny wanted to do the hookup
board. If you hooked up with this
34
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:36,660
then you could have possibly hooked up
with this person just by swapping the
35
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:40,400
spit. Stop swapping spit. Let's do one
after the other. So, Mike being with
36
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:45,580
and Ron, I mean... This is like a family
tree if your family was made of whores.
37
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,380
Mike being with Angelina.
38
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,420
This is all too complicated for me.
39
00:02:56,700 --> 00:03:00,020
Let's just all go down to the smush room
and spit on each other.
40
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:06,640
If they, like, did this chart long
enough, they could find out where herpes
41
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,640
began.
42
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:13,820
I'm a whore, hello?
43
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:16,590
That's how she answers the phone.
44
00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:22,210
She'd like to be a greeter.
45
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,170
Yeah, I'm a whore. Welcome to Costco.
46
00:03:31,490 --> 00:03:32,210
Come
47
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:39,350
back.
48
00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:42,130
Oh, boy.
49
00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:43,450
You!
50
00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:51,060
Come on, pick up the pace.
51
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,860
We're getting bored over here. Come on.
52
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:57,160
Uh, hello.
53
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:58,900
Oh, yeah.
54
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,740
Boo.
55
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,760
Oh, yeah.
56
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,120
Yeah.
57
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:08,040
Oh, oh, damn. Damn, get them go.
58
00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:09,260
About 450.
59
00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:13,970
You're going to have to leave. You do
not have the right to block a pedestrian
60
00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:18,470
area. How come they get to block a
pedestrian area?
61
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:19,990
Yeah, really.
62
00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:21,930
Because they are running a business.
63
00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:23,270
Now move along.
64
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,630
Now you go. You go to hell.
65
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,310
Damn it. That sucks.
66
00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:31,550
What is a pedestrian anyway?
67
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:35,550
I don't know, but it won't matter if
we're running a business.
68
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,250
What do you mean?
69
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:42,410
Beavis, we are going to be massagers.
70
00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:44,350
Oh, yeah.
71
00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:10,730
We're businessmen.
72
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,130
Hey, baby.
73
00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:21,990
Would you like to be touched?
74
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,150
If you don't like it, you don't pay.
75
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,830
Step right up.
76
00:05:29,690 --> 00:05:32,350
Get one boob massaged and the other
one's free.
77
00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:34,550
And your butt, too.
78
00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,270
Three for the price of one.
79
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:42,450
The fuck?
80
00:05:43,130 --> 00:05:45,850
How come those guys have chicks lined up
and we don't have anybody?
81
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:51,250
Uh, maybe it's because they're, like,
Chinese.
82
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:54,930
I think chicks love Chinese dudes.
83
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,290
Damn it.
84
00:05:57,310 --> 00:06:03,170
It's not fair. It's like they should...
Damn it, Beavis.
85
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,790
You broke our chair.
86
00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:07,830
Butthole?
87
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:23,950
It's like, not the same.
88
00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:28,030
It's like, it just reminds me that we
almost touched real girls.
89
00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,630
It just doesn't work anymore.
90
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:31,850
Yeah.
91
00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:33,630
Damn it.
92
00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:35,610
I used to love this mall.
93
00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:39,860
Whoa. Hey, Beavis, look.
94
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,080
They're gone.
95
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,100
This is our chance.
96
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:44,680
Okay.
97
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,080
Act Chinese, Beavis.
98
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,260
Now you go.
99
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,520
You go to hell.
100
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,320
What hell you doing?
101
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,040
That's all the Chinese I know.
102
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,300
Oh, wait a minute. Me Chinese, me play
joke. Me put pee -pee in your coke.
103
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,850
That was pretty good, Viva.
104
00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:10,950
Whoa.
105
00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:16,250
I'm having some upper back pain around
my neck, so if you could just work on
106
00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:17,250
that, that would be great.
107
00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:22,410
Oh, what the hell are you doing? You try
and take my business?
108
00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:23,830
Uh, yeah.
109
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,110
We want to be massagers.
110
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,730
Okay. You two now massagers.
111
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,280
Uh, really?
112
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,240
I'm ready.
113
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,920
Need to get my circulation going.
114
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:41,820
Got a real bad smell of the gout.
115
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,520
Probably that shellfish I ate.
116
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,520
Get to work!
117
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,280
Uh,
118
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,420
let's get out of here. Hold on.
119
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:55,580
Okay. Did you two have anything to do
with taking this guy's tools?
120
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,100
Stay here with us whole time. New
employees.
121
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,580
Massage this guy now.
122
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:03,050
Uh, no thanks.
123
00:08:03,390 --> 00:08:07,630
The police are on their way. Do you work
here, yes or no?
124
00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:09,090
Show him!
125
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:11,970
Show him you're not thief. You're a
massager.
126
00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:13,550
Massage!
127
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,030
Uh, yeah, we're massagers.
128
00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:24,330
Uh, I'm gonna need you to massage the
fluid back up into my torso.
129
00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:28,850
Then rub the extremities till they
aren't so blue anymore.
130
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,539
Now, don't mind that smell. That's just
the muscle eating the bone.
131
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,860
Doctor said he's only heard of it this
bad in cattle before.
132
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,380
Looks like a table leg got caught in a
wood chipper, don't it?
133
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,720
Well, he does have boobs.
134
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:53,320
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