Original subtitles

Class, this weekend I'm organizing a trip down to the Gulf of Mexico. As you

all well aware, this oil spill is a crisis of unprecedented proportion.

It's done great damage to the wetlands.

Giant tar balls are washing up all along the coast.

And then there's the birds.

It's too late for a lot of the older birds, but we can still rescue the

Uh, chicks?

I'm listening. Yes, Butthead, so many of these poor chicks are dirty. They're

just filthy.

Whoa. Filthy chicks.

Filthy chicks. Yes, and we need people to go down there and wash them. Are

any volunteers?

Uh, yeah.

Count me in.

Yeah, this weekend's good for me.

Oh, great.

Thank you, Beavis and Butthead.

Filthy.

Hey,

is my hair messed up? You look wonderful.

The music's always horrible in these shows.

Yeah.

Best friend, best friend, best friend.

I don't know what.

I got a beautiful girlfriend. Oh, my God. I hope she don't break up with me

tonight. My dad's going to want my ass. His dad knows that he's a dumbass.

I think they're being a little too hard on themselves. I mean, they're not that

dumb. Yeah, really. I mean, they figured out how to get booze.

And that one dude said he has a girlfriend.

Plus, like, once you go to jail.

You can get all the chicks you want. Yeah, chicks are like, ooh, he's been to

jail. Check him out.

You're human, I'm human. I've learned, he's learned. Okay, yeah, yeah.

He's learned. Come on, we haven't learned.

Come on, teach us. Where did you get the booze?

And how did you get the girlfriend?

These guys are just so cool.

Yeah, it's like we're sitting here on the couch, and they're out there making

happen.

Yeah, it's like they're doing things and getting girlfriends and booze.

Yeah, see, we need to get up off our butts and go figure things out and do

like Roger and John here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Finally, MTV's putting on some, like, inspirational shows.

Officer Wickham's going to give them both a cavity search.

Thanks for coming, guys.

It's always great to have new volunteers looking to help out. Yeah.

We're just here for the chicks.

And the filthy ones.

All right. Now, before we get started, you have to learn how to do it right.

Here's a beautiful one.

Now, watch me closely. Once you're ready, you can start rubbing and

Okay. Whenever you put that bird down... Let me in there. Rub all over, okay?

Start with the breast.

That's the most sensitive area.

Once they're clean, the chicks relax and the rest becomes much... Not yet.

I know you're eager, but you have to take your time. The whole thing should

about a half an hour.

That's right, baby.

Nice and slow.

Oh, yeah.

Maya, sorry to bug you, but Mitch threw up again.

I can't say I blame him.

Boys, are you ready to get really dirty?

Yeah. I mean, filthy.

Maya?

I don't think there's anything too filthy for me.

Me neither.

You two.

Okay, now usually when we do this, you end up covered in oil.

Usually when I do this, I mean, I've never done it, but when I think about

it, I end up covered in lotion.

No problem.

Hey, where's she going?

She's going to go clean up that dude's barf.

Wow. Well, you know, whatever she's into, you know.

We better have some oil ready for when she gets back.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, check it out, butthead.

That bird's got oil all over it.

The oil spill in the Gulf isn't just hurting people. It's hurting plants and

animals, which are two other kinds of life.

But it's not all bad news, which brings us to this week's local hero, Maya

Kaniger. She's leading the effort to clean the many baby birds damaged by

spill. When I saw what was happening to the birds here, I knew I had to act to

save the chicks.

Wait, to save the, uh... The baby birds?

Right, right.

Maya has organized an assembly line of young idealists who gather the birds,

clean them, and dry them. These young volunteers are certainly doing their

So this is like oil?

Yeah, and we're covered in it, and we're going to do it.

That is an inspiring sentiment. We are all going to do it.

We are all going to do it. Get in line, dude. Back to you, Gina.

Whoa, they arrested Snooki?

Is this really happening right now?

She sounds like that little kid that went to the dentist on YouTube.

They just arrested Nicole.

For what?

For being drunk and an idiot.

Wait a minute, you didn't get arrested for being an idiot? Yeah.

You better lay low for a while, Beavis.

Uh, so she's in jail? So she's not DTF?

What about you guys?

Any of you DTF?

Where is she?

Hello? Jersey Shore, how can I help you?

Okay, well, listen, you got something to deal with right now. Boy, her boyfriend

talks like a wuss.

Yeah, really.

Okay, so you couldn't do a four -second phone call? Like, who are you?

Okay. Who are you? Are you DTF?

The cops thought she was a seal.

I couldn't even tell you how I felt in that jail cell.

It was like a phenomenon.

Well, not a phenomenon.

Train wreck.

Yeah, phenomenon train wreck. I get those two confused, too. You need to

understand what you're doing to yourself and your body. All the guys in the

house know what they're doing to her body.

You should bury your head in the sand. Promise yourself that you'll never put

yourself in that position again.

I'm breaking up, Dad.

I'm just going to go ahead and hang up now.

Talk to you later.

That's a father for you.

I'm disappointed in you. That's like... That word, disappoint, really hurts the

heart. Hurts the heart?

No, it doesn't. People say they're disappointed in me all the time.

Doesn't bother me.

Yeah. Me neither.

Okay, you guys ready to get that oil off you?

Uh, nice try. Just move along.

Nothing for you here.

Give it a moment.

I mean, it's the absolute worst of what humanity can produce.

I look at them and I think, there's no hope.

What can one person do?

I can't make a difference.

Beavis, Butthead.

I hope that you didn't just hear me spewing doubts and despondency.

I'm covered in oil.

Yes, you are.

You both are.

And you don't even think about giving up. Because you believe in what we're

doing. You know we are making a difference.

Do you think I'm making a difference?

You're making a difference in my pants.

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