Original subtitles

OMG LOL caught up with Academy Award nominee Morgan Spurlock on the red

last night. Whoa.

Check out that chick.

Yeah, but who's that fart knocker she's with?

Eh. I heard about this dude.

He got famous just for, like, eating a lot for, like, 30 days.

Whoa, really?

Yeah.

And once you're famous... You get to eat more.

No, dumbass. You get chicks.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was going to say that next.

We should do that.

Yeah, I was going to say that next.

Well, we're inside now, and this is the entryway.

Is this 16 and pregnant?

Maybe I'm 13 and pregnant. I don't know.

They're doing pretty good.

Usually on that show, everyone's all poor and they live with their grandmas

their mouths are hanging open.

Yeah, really.

And they're like, living off my tax dollars.

You know what I'm saying?

Not right.

You don't have any tax dollars?

Whoa, that counter looks like it's made out of barf.

Yeah.

I think rich people do that because then if you barf on it, you don't have to

clean it up.

Oh, yeah.

That's not how you make nachos. Yeah, that's not how you do it. You go to 7

-Eleven, and you get that little paper thing, and then you scoop the chips in

there, and then you squeeze out the orange stuff on it.

This is the kids' playroom.

I found these kids over at the park.

I bring them nachos once a day.

And I make them do my homework.

One of our worries about building such a big house was that we'd lose our kids.

When this guy talks, it's like his teeth never come apart.

One of our biggest fears in the house was losing our kids.

It's more of an experiment.

I mean, they'd never make it. It's really just an experiment.

We had this crazy idea.

Maybe he's like, One of those ventriloquists.

Oh, yeah.

They need to show the doll, then.

He's got his hand up his wife's butt.

I had to buy a waterfall and a wood slide. I worked my whole damn life to

for all this crap.

My wife makes me build all this stuff.

I'm miserable here.

You can even see Zion National Park.

I tried to run away to Zion National Park, but they saw me through that damn

telescope.

When do we get the checks?

How does this work?

We have to, like, only eat at Burger World for 30 days?

Like that Sherlock dude?

Cool.

We didn't think of this before.

We're going to get rich and famous just by eating.

Score.

Hey, buddy, check it out.

I already ate, like, four burgers, three fries, and six milkshakes.

Cool.

Ladies, beware.

I don't feel so good.

Yeah?

Good. More chicks for me.

See you in a month, baby.

I'm full.

Why did we do this again?

To get famous and get chicks.

We need more food.

Come on.

What are you guys doing here? You're not working today.

We're, like, volunteering.

Yes, I mean, for the children, you know.

Oh, okay. Well, why don't you go clean the grill and the food's on the house,

okay?

Okay,

don't think of the letters on your tests as grades so much as friendly reminders

to study more.

Beavis, butthead, if it was up to me, you could eat in class, but the school

board says you can't. Okay?

We have to.

We're eating at Burger World for a month so we can get famous.

Yeah, like that Morgan Sherlock dude. You know what I'm saying?

Oh, of course. You're taking on corporate America to expose a very

issue to your generation.

Yeah. Ah, this is great. I'm so proud of you boys.

So, does this mean that we can eat in class, too?

No, only Beavis and Butthead can eat in class.

They're engaged in an act of social protest, shining a light on the issue of

teen obesity.

We're eating in front of you.

You can't have it.

Now, it's so important that you get your message out. Martin, maybe you can be

part of this.

No, I meant film Beavis and Butthead and then post it online.

Yeah, make a movie about us. The three of you can all use this as your semester

service project, okay?

Boy didn't bring enough for everybody.

So what made you want to shine a light on the issue of teen obesity?

We wanted to get famous and score, so we, like, ate a lot of Burger World

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all I mean.

Go ahead and nominate us for some rewards, and then we can get some

We ate a lot of Burger

World food, and now we're fat.

No way.

No one is going to supersize us.

These guys need to be stopped.

Fire up the jet.

They're trying to make gelato look exciting.

Orange chocolate.

Papaya.

Okay, how you doing?

Okay, how you doing?

When I meet a guy, I'm going to do chocolate.

Why no?

Is that guy a foreigner or a guido?

I don't think they have foreign guidos.

What I would love to find is a guido.

Juice head. Can I find that somewhere?

Because I'm not going to go on Match .com again.

She met this dude on Match .com and then he put her to work.

I have all these qualities.

I have much for you.

You and this mop.

Go on date with Floor.

Start to work faster.

I leave you some work to you guys.

My ideal guy.

Snooki's idea man Guido.

Ideal.

Tan Guido juice head gorilla.

Big sense of humor. Likes to party. Fist pump.

A poem by Snooki.

Juice Heads and Gorillas by Snooki Polizzi.

Our mission this week is to find Nicole a guy.

We've got to go to the beach. We've got to go everywhere.

Yeah, we've got to go to the gym. Every day.

Every day. Every day we've got to go to the gym. Every day.

Every day.

How come they do that?

Because they think it's adorable.

You know what I mean?

You know, I have a checklist too.

Okay, she has to have at least one boob.

You know what I mean?

And she has to be a girl.

And it can't be my mom.

I have the same list, but it, like, includes your mom.

Shut up.

20 check marks.

Here's some gift cards to Taco Yum -O. They have unlimited funds.

That means it's all you can eat.

Forever. At Taco Yum -O, not Burger World.

Cool.

Now we'll score for sure.

Are you sure about this, sir?

Those two can eat a lot. Believe me, the cost is well worth it.

They're making me sick.

Fire up the jet.

I gotta sit down.

You there.

All chicks get free tacos.

Want some nachos?

It's all on me.

You know what?

Nachos sound pretty good.

Maybe even better than scoring.

Yeah.

More food for us.

Taco Yamo rules.

Yeah,

Taco Yamo gets you fatter a lot quicker than Burger World.

These guys have to be stopped.

I need my plane and a stack of gift cards to Wiener Sheck. You know what I

I don't even understand what the problem is with teen obesity.

This is great.

Yeah.

Teen obesity kicks ass.

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