Original subtitles

Abandoned driving's kick -ass.

I'm gonna throw rocks at the snack bar.

This is gonna be cool.

Where is it?

I thought it was right here.

Maybe they moved the abandoned driving somewhere else.

Yeah.

Let's go talk to these people.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, get to the bottom of this.

Now listen to me very carefully. I have restarted it five times. It doesn't

work. Yes, I understand your frustration.

Did you hear me? Please unplug your desktop computer.

It's not a desktop.

Hey,

where's the abandoned drive -in?

Did you move it?

Yes, I am sorry. I have only been working here for a short distance.

Yes, you need to put headset on.

We have many colors on hold, and we are behind.

You're a behind.

Yeah, you're all behind.

All of you.

Start driving. Yes, yes, we are. Please, sit down.

Okay.

Cool.

Let's try to get porn.

Yeah, yeah, really.

I may take your order.

Uh... Hello?

Cool. Good afternoon.

My name is Hamid.

How is the weather in Biloxi? Come on, man. I've been on the phone for half an

hour. This should be resolved by now. Yes, sir. I understand your frustration.

This is horrible. I can't stand it. Yeah, I just want to know how to turn

autocomplete when I type in my password. I understand your frustration.

Did you unplug your computer, ma 'am? No. What does that have to do with

anything? I'm sorry, I've only been working here a short distance.

How was the weather in Biloxi?

How the hell should I know? I live in Cleveland.

I understand your frustration.

That's cool.

I tried that, and it still didn't work, and I tried it again, but, you know, I

still keep getting the same error thing, and it's really not... Do people ever

tell you you sound boring on the phone?

Can you, like... Shut up. And tell me how to get this computer to show porn.

What? You've got to be kidding me. Where's your supervisor?

Please, just tell me. How do you turn off the freaking autocomplete feature?

Because every time I try to sign under the freaking internet... Do you have any

matches?

Try setting it on fire.

I want your name right now. My name is Hamid.

Spill that!

Okay.

Hamid.

Hamid.

Have you tried kicking it?

Kick it? I don't get it. Kick it harder.

Harder. Sir, do you see what they are saying? Yes, I do. And if you want to

ahead here, you just listen to these guys.

See, Hamid, our goal is to help the customers, of course.

But if we're on the phone too long, we don't make any money.

We go out of business, and then what will the customers do?

I am Hamid.

I am Chinese.

Do not hang up on me. See that?

Keep up the good work, fellas.

Ma 'am, could you, like, say trackball again?

Trackball.

Hello, sir.

Did you try to unplug your...

I mean, do you have any matches? That would be cool.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting

to start again?

You know, I gotta say, I kind of like this song.

Okay,

Beaver? Yeah.

Sometimes, if I'm not feeling too good about myself, I like...

Put this song on and then, like, put some fireworks in my pants and, yeah, I

start to feel better.

Uh, do you like the fireworks?

Well, yeah, yeah, I tried, but, um, every time I put the lighter down there

my pants, it just goes out.

I need longer fuses or something.

Like a longer lighter.

You're a dumbass, Beavis.

You don't have to feel like the way to stay.

My guidance counselor said that same thing, you know? That I don't have to

like a waste of space.

But when Katy Perry says it, and she has fireworks coming out of her boobs, it

kind of gives me a special feeling, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, except Katy Perry's not talking about you, Beavis.

She's talking about that dove model by the pool.

You are a waste of space.

Shut up, buddy.

You're more like that part of the song before where she's talking about the

plastic bag floating around, but like if it floated into a trash can and then a

bunch of stinky homeless dudes peed all over it. Shut up, butthead.

You're not a firework.

Damn it, butthead. Shut up.

I am a firework.

Damn it, leave us.

I'm an M -80.

Uh -huh.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, you know, it's tough being a single mom, you know.

Hey, guys.

This guy, he say Microsoft.

It's funny, right?

Microsoft.

Not bad, Hamid.

You're getting better.

Keep up the good work.

Thank God. Please, I need help. We're having some serious problems down here

the power plant. How do I...

in safe mode.

This guy, he say, safe mode.

You see?

That's not funny, Hamid.

Yeah, if he doesn't have anything funny to say, hang up on him.

You know what is funny? Tell him to type I -C -U -P.

That would be cool.

Sir, please type I -C -U -P.

That would be cool.

Really? Okay. I -C...

You pee.

Oh, wait, that's worse. Now I can't even get to the safe mode screen. Tell him

to butt plug his computer.

And unplug your computer.

I don't even know if I can unplug. That's not what I said.

It's pronounced butt plug.

Whoa.

Lonely, nasty housewives.

Whoa, hey, let me see. Let me see.

I don't know about this, but it's unplugged. What the?

Hey, damn it, it's broken.

And I almost had porn.

Damn it.

I want to see nasty housewives.

Now. Yeah.

I'm going to go get this thing fixed.

He said power drain.

That's not funny. This isn't really working out, Hamid.

Yeah. But I am trying.

I understand your frustration.

You guys are looting that place.

Let's get stuff before it's all gone.

Whoa. Cool.

Yeah, yeah. You know, Beavis, this place used to be cool. Then it sucked when

they put the office there. But now it's cool again.

Yeah, yeah.

That's nice to see.

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