Original subtitles

And that is why, dear sir, I come before you. My heart aches for your precious

daughter, Elizabeth.

What a wuss.

My heart aches.

Good, sir.

May I ask for your daughter's hand?

Whoa. Uh, did he just, like, ask for her hand?

Yeah, I think he wants her to, like, spank his monkey.

Many suitors have sought her hand, but you, sir, did it the proper way.

And for that, you will get my daughter's hand.

Whoa. Whoa, hey, you think they're going to show it?

Eh, they'll probably just blur it out.

Whoa, check it out, Beavis.

In olden times, that's how dudes got chicks to use their hands on them.

And dads are, like, old.

So all we need to do is, like, find a chick with a dad and then, like, ask for

his daughter's hand.

This is going to be cool.

Nathan used to spend all his time partying with his friends.

But now that I'm pregnant... Nathan used to spend all his time partying with his

friends. Now that I'm pregnant... That means you have to take care of the baby

with the controller in your hand.

This chick is a horrible actor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, really.

I have nothing better to do.

That's what you said, like, two minutes ago.

Wait a minute.

I think this is real.

Oh, yeah, yeah, so I'm... So she's not a bad actor, then.

Just a bad person.

So what's the plan?

What are you guys going to do?

Talking work.

Everybody's mouth is always open.

Yeah,

yeah, really.

I was hoping Nathan would step it up. But over the next few days, instead of

looking for a job, Nathan shows to hang out with his friends and play video

games. I don't even know where his head is at anymore.

See, he's looking for a job.

Gotta be one out there somewhere.

I think once he does get a job, I think everything's gonna be smooth sailing.

Yeah.

He used to run wild everywhere with me.

You're like the wild Steve that don't ever get caught, but you got caged in.

This guy looks like he might be stupider than us.

I do feel like I'm kind of stuck here.

What's that on his hat?

That's his name so he won't get lost.

Man, this is so stressful.

He should, like, tie a chain from those things in his lip to the things in his

ears and just, like...

Hold his mouth shut, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Then he would look smart.

Yeah, I'd hire him, yeah.

I don't even know anymore.

So you realize if we were having a baby, I wouldn't be here, right? This would

be a better show if they, like, showed him actually getting pregnant.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it'd be called, I'm 16 and tonight I'm gonna get pregnant.

Yeah, and then they'd show him making love.

Uh, I think that new chick, Victoria, lives here.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's hot.

She has a dad.

Dads.

Uh,

can I help you? Uh, are you Victoria's dad?

Uh, yes.

Victoria is my daughter. Why do you want to know?

Uh.

So, like, I'm here to, like, ask for your daughter's hand.

Yeah, me too.

You know, we want your blessings.

Oh, well, fellas, I appreciate that you have feelings for Victoria. She's a

wonderful girl, but I think she's a few years older than you and she has a

boyfriend, okay?

That's okay with me, sir.

I don't care who I have to follow.

Even Butthead.

I just want your daughter's hand.

Look, boys, it is nice to see kids of your generation trying to do things the

right way, but if you're planning on waiting for a chance with my daughter, I

think you're going to be waiting a long time.

But it's nice meeting you boys. Goodbye.

No problem, dude.

Some things are worth waiting for.

How long have we been

waiting so far?

I think it's been like a bunch of days.

Oh, boy.

Now, I know these tired old eyes ain't seeing two able -bodied young men just

lollygagging. Uh, can you, like, shut up?

Say what?

We're, like, waiting for this dude to, like, let us have his daughter's hand.

Huh. And I thought your generation had given up on being proper gentlemen.

So which one of you is fixing to win the hand of this little lady?

Uh, right here.

Hmm.

Love triangle, huh?

Well, I guess you two will have to tangle since you know she can't give her

to both of you.

Yeah, but she's got two of them.

Jumping Jesus, son. A gal gives her hand to just one fella.

Now let me give you boys a little tip.

No one ever got anywhere just waiting around.

When it comes to women, there's nothing wrong with being a little persistent.

Uh... Dammit, boys, if you want that girl's hand, get off your keisters and

get it. He's right, Beavis. We've waited long enough.

Her hand must be rested enough by now.

Young love.

I do see dead people.

I'm Sammy Jo.

I live in Nashville, Tennessee.

I am a psychic medium.

She's a psychic?

What's that again?

That's those people who think they can predict the future.

Tooth.

Tooth.

Watch.

She's like, I knew you were going to order chicken wings.

And I predict that I'm going to eat the rest of them.

And I also predict.

That those curly fries are just going to get cold.

I might as well have those now, too.

Yeah.

The spirits want you to hand them over.

And I also predict that you're broke.

And I'm going to pay for this meal.

And I predict that you look like a dumbass.

Oh, that already happened.

You predict that we'll make it across this bridge.

Whenever I was really, really quiet, I was praying, like, do I need to get the

hell away because she is the devil?

Or is she working for the Lord?

And what did Jesus say?

Jesus said she could do better.

Hi. How are you doing?

Upset.

Oh.

Anything?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

She said, I thought you'd show your face, but you didn't come. So that means

that she predicted he was going to come, and he didn't.

She's a lousy psychic.

Yeah.

Everything this woman says is a lie.

I just think that we should end it now before feelings get deeper.

Yeah.

End it now before you pick your pants away.

I predict I'm going to be going to toots alone.

I need all your chicken wings.

Good day, sir.

May I have your daughter's hand now?

Yeah, me too.

Okay, look. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but it's just not going to

happen. I was just trying to be polite, okay? I don't think my daughter would

date either of you, let alone marry you, okay? Who said anything about marriage

or dating?

Dumbass.

Yeah, really.

Give me her hand right now.

I don't even care which one she uses.

What are you babbling about?

Sir, we are proper gentlemen, and we wish for your daughter to use her hand

us. We have asked you for her hand in the manner of proper gentlemen.

So you have to now.

That's the rules.

You want my daughter, my sweet little angel, to perform... You sick little...

will kill you!

Can I have her hand now? Hey, buddy,

I don't know where you moved here from, but in this neighborhood, a man keeps

his hands to himself. You know, why don't you mind your own damn business?

I said keep your hands to yourself.

Whoa.

Damn it.

I'm going to teach you to keep your hands to yourself.

Keep your hands to yourself.

Keep your hand to yourself.

Like all this time, I've tried all these things. And I've waited and I forgot

that I have my own hand. Get off my property now!

My own hand.

Uh... Oh, yeah.

The answer was always with her.

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