Original subtitles

Megan, you've meant so much to me these past few weeks.

This has been so much harder than I thought it would be.

What a wuss.

Yeah, really.

How come kicks are into this dude anyway? And going fishing with your dad

the first time I've been able to relax during this whole thing. What is

that?

Somebody put like a vegetable or something in my chili dog.

I think it's an onion.

Megan, I'm sorry, but I won't be giving you a rose this evening.

Here, jerker.

Whoa,

you're crying.

No, I'm not.

You're crying like a girl. No way.

I am not.

Damn it.

You're moved.

I am not moved.

Shut up.

This is amazing.

Addicted to porn?

Cool.

Porn allows me to enjoy women without having to deal with their real -life

drama.

It's one of my favorite things to do is smoke cigars while I watch porn to keep

it luxurious.

This guy kicks ass.

Set the alarm for 221, get up and watch a little porno.

Good morning, Grandma.

I live with my grandmother.

What's happening today?

I'm looking for a job on Craigslist right now. I don't see why he needs to

job. It's like he's got a car and a place to live and he's fat.

Yeah, really.

Damn it, the porn's all blurry.

Today I have a job interview for the first time in a while.

Where's he going to get a job? I definitely don't want to be 30 and

own town.

He could get like a... He could get a job washing dishes with one hand.

Mowing the lawn with one hand.

What to do?

Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn.

Porn, porn, porn, glasses.

Porn, porn, porn, porn. Gas up the car. Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn.

Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn.

What are you guys doing?

Go visit with dad.

Porn, porn, porn.

Porn, porn. Oh, there's my sisters. Porn, porn, porn, porn. Hi, dad. Porn.

Porn. He's like watching so much porn, he's starting to look like a schlong.

Pornography? What's that?

I think that's like the study of porn.

Yeah, this guy is a pornologist.

Yeah, really.

Porn, porn, porn.

You know what would be good right now?

Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn.

Well, like yesterday?

You were crying.

Shut up, butthead. I was not.

Damn it.

That's why so many readers find Atticus' speech so moving.

Mr. Van Driessen, I bet Beavis was really moved by it. Cut it out,

Because yesterday, I saw him crying.

No, I wasn't. I was not. It's okay to be touched, Beavis. Yeah.

Beavis was touched.

Shut up. I was not crying, butthead.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Hey, Stuart.

Have you heard the news?

Shut up, butthead.

No. What?

Beavis was crying.

Shut up. I was not. I was not crying.

I wasn't.

Something happened to my eyes.

It was like that onion.

Uh, attention, everyone.

Beavis was crying.

Damn it, I was not crying.

Whoa.

Hey, butter.

Remember that movie where that slut from Sex and the City was like a mannequin?

Uh, yeah.

I mean, I was just thinking, like, I mean, that would be cool if, like, I

a hot mannequin, like, came back to life. Dammit, Beavis, quit changing the

subject.

You were crying.

Stop it!

Shut up!

It's okay to be touched, Beavis.

Dammit, shut up!

Woof. I was not crying!

Butthole!

We'll climb the rope, touch the ceiling, and descend all within 30 seconds.

Are there any questions?

I have a question.

What happens if Beavis starts crying? I was not crying. I was not crying. I'm

going to kick your ass. You are crying.

You will beat the crap out of Butthead on your own time.

Don't yell at him too hard.

He might start crying.

Let me go.

I'm going to kill you. Here come the waterworks. Let me at him. It's okay,

Beavis. Damn it. It's all right to cry.

Crying takes the fat out of you.

Damn it.

I was not crying.

This is like the same dance they did in Party Rock, Anson.

Except they're, like, pretending they're choking their chickens while they're

doing it.

I like it.

Yeah, it's like, you know, they're, like, growing as artists or something.

You know, I thought, like, that the comedy sucks and that, like, nobody has

job and these guys are just spraying around expensive champagne everywhere.

I heard they have, like, a really rich dad.

And then that one tall dude is the other dude's uncle.

And then, like, their grandpa is, like, the same guy.

So they don't care.

What, really?

Yeah. It's too bad we weren't born as them.

You know, why is that? How come we were born as us?

I don't know.

It's not fair.

Take that bottle and make it.

Good news, guys.

We saved the community center.

Let's all dance.

My

biscuits.

Who ate my biscuits? I don't know.

Hey, Beavis.

Huh?

What?

You were crying.

I was not. I was not crying.

I'm serious.

I was not crying.

I'm not crying now either.

Bottle.

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