Original subtitles

That's not what I want.

Hurry up, butt wipe.

Is this the hostable?

How can I help you?

You can tell me if this is the damn hostable.

Yes, it is. And now what's your problem?

He's the one with the problem.

Look at him.

My butt hurts!

Go sit down over there and fill these out. We'll get to you eventually.

Yeah.

That dude said to sit down, Beavis.

What's the matter with you, Beavis? No one wants to see your butt. Now sit

You shut up.

What do you got to cry about?

Three slugs in my gut.

Whoa. You don't see me whining.

Mr. Borman. Yeah?

Okay, why don't you follow me? We'll have a look at those entry wounds, okay?

Whoa. That dude had bullet holes.

Cool.

Shut up, butt munch. Your injury sucks.

I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down.

What's that smell?

Oh. Hey, Gurney, Stack, got a crispy critter.

Crispy critter.

Okay,

let's have a look -see.

Oh, my dear Lord.

What happened? What happened here?

Okay, now I'm going to have to pry these apart.

This may hurt a bit.

Son,

I want you to relax.

I'm going to be inserting this device. It's called a proctoscope.

No! No! I know it hurts, son, but we need to see what the extent of the

is. I don't know what it is you did to yourself here, but... No.

Dear Lord.

Come on, let's move, guys. I want Dr. Casey to scrub him on this. Come on,

move it or this kid loses it. What?

We're losing what?

Local anesthetic?

We might need to talk to this kid.

Shut on, kids.

Let's save this boy's ass.

My butt.

Save my butt.

Please.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, buddy. Come on. Come on.

Greg, he's gone.

Call it 356.

Can I have the bullet?

Son, it's all right. It's just the anesthesia.

I'll never poop again!

Calm down, kid.

We'll have you pooping in no time.

Oh, really?

Okay, that's good.

Poop, poop.

Come on, one more. One more push.

Whoa.

Need any help in here?

All right, let's do it.

Spreader.

What are you going to do with that?

You won't feel anything, son.

Really, I want to know what you're going to do with that.

Fire in the hole!

Here, get this to OR3 for transplantation. Stat.

Uh, okay.

Cool.

Oi, I've got my fingers stuck in me bum.

Now this is an interesting case.

This young man presenting in the ER with third degree cremation of the buttocks.

cauterized sphincter, and severely inflamed rectal cavity. Can anyone here

me what could have possibly caused this?

Look!

Look!

Yeah.

Vanilla ice.

You know, they're always, like, putting this guy down and, you know, like,

making fun of him and saying he sucks and stuff.

But, you know, he really does suck. And this is one of those times where

everybody's right.

You know what I'm saying?

Are you just trying to say that this sucks, Beavis?

Hey, sometimes you have a way with words.

Are you gonna change the channel, butthead?

Why bother? All we seem to get on this TV is bad videos.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

There's, like, three things wrong with this video.

One, this dude sucks.

And, uh... Three...

He's trying to rap a love song.

You know what, man? If this was a real rap song about love, he'd be saying, we

have no love for hoes.

Yeah.

He'd be like, I don't love you hoes. I'm out the door.

Love.

Yeah.

Love.

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