Original subtitles

Gee, Wally, Dad said not to, and besides, I don't want him to holler at

Beaver.

Yeah, Beaver kicks ass.

But if I come, that's not really what stuff was like back then.

Yeah, like, if this was real, and it was like the 50s, things would be all

different and stuff.

Leave it to Beavis.

Starring Mrs.

Stevenson.

Butthead.

And Beavis.

As the Beavis.

up. The bus is almost here.

Hey, Lumpy.

Hey, Squirt. You ready to go to school?

Gee, Eddie, I don't know. Are you sure you're going to take me to school?

Yeah, I will take you to school.

Uh, Beavis, I don't think you're supposed to take rides from strangers.

I'm not so sure, Eddie. I'm supposed to take the bus.

Come on, man.

Don't you want to be cool?

I guess so, yeah.

Well, get in then, you little goof.

So, Beaver.

The name's Beaver, sir.

Oh, excuse me, Beaver. Look, listen up.

For today's lesson, you're going to buy me a pack of smokes.

Gee, Eddie. All I got is some milk money.

Well, Squirt, I guess you won't be drinking milk today.

Now, don't you think you should go to work, dear?

No.

Okay, Squirt, get in there and get me some smokes.

Are you sure I should be doing this, Eddie? What did you say?

I said, are you... You better get in there and get me some smokes

before today's lesson turns into ass -kicking 101.

Well, hey there, Master Cleaver.

Aren't you supposed to be in school?

Well, I guess so.

But all I know is I'm supposed to come in here and buy some cigarettes.

Hey, you wouldn't be buying these for Eddie now, would you?

Gee, how'd you know?

You're the third kid he's brought in this week.

Tell Eddie it's against the law for me to sell cigarettes to a boy your age.

then tell him that cigarettes cause cancer.

Yeah, but if I tell him that, he might get all sore and stuff.

And then he's liable to beat me up.

Well, if he tries that, you tell him that's against the law, too.

I don't see my smoke in your hand.

He said it's against the law to sell them to me.

Besides, cigarettes cause cancer.

Oh, is that a fact?

Well, I guess you just graduated to my next class.

Human punching bag class.

Can you get the door, dear?

I'm baking cookies.

Uh, okay.

Uh, come in.

Good afternoon, Mr.

Cleaver. Whoa, what happened, uh, son?

It seems that little beaver here ran afoul of some asphalt.

Asphalt.

Who's at the door, dear?

Uh, our dumbass son.

Now, Ward, aren't you being a little hard on the beavis?

Hard.

Come on.

Oh, dear God, what happened?

You know, I think I saved your boy from certain death, Mrs. Cleaver.

Oh, however, can I thank you, Eddie?

Mmm, you smell great, Mrs. Cleaver. Oh, I was just baking some cookies.

Perhaps I could taste them.

Your cookies, that is.

Why, sure, Eddie. Why don't you come with me in the kitchen?

Have a seat, squirt.

Eddie is... They sure are some great -looking cookies, Mrs. Cleaver.

Well,

Beavis, I sure hope you learned a valuable lesson today.

Whoa. This looks like it might rock.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's all right, you know. I guess it sounds

kind of cool.

You know what might make it different?

It's like, you know, if you were really divvy when you're watching it.

Yeah, yeah. You're all, like, dizzy in the head and you're watching this?

Yeah.

Want me to strike you?

No, I know how to make myself dizzy. Check it out.

I learned this one time. Check this out.

I

think

that the problem with this video is that it's highly derivative of many popular

bands within the genre.

Although when viewed on its own merits, it does have a decent groove. However,

what it has in groove, it lacks in originality. One can't help but be

of such bands as Pearl Jam, White Zombie, Suicidal Tendencies, and other

that bear the mantle of so -called alternative rock. One is even reminded

Laurie Anderson when she wore a curler.

This video speaks less to the heart and more to the sphincter. In clothing, I

think Korn would do well to learn more from... Ow!

Whoa! Hey, what happened?

You got all dizzy and then you started talking like a dumbass.

Whoa, really?

Wow.

Yeah.

But then you did say sphincter.

Oh, yeah.

It's pronounced sphincter.

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