Original subtitles

Well, boys, deciding what career to choose is practically a job in itself.

And it's my job to try and help you make the right choice.

We all need a little guidance now and again.

Some more than others.

Can either of you guys think of a few things that interest you? Things you'd

like to do.

Uh, I'd like to do chicks.

Yeah, me too.

Right, but chicks is only one thing. No way. Chicks have two things.

You know... Okay.

How about something else? Perhaps something you do after school.

Hmm.

Uh... Well, I guess I like to watch videos.

Well, you see, right there. Have you ever thought about working in a video

store? Or even owning one?

Uh... No.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Well, I guess we found at least one good career possibility.

Now, Beavis, I see here that you are currently employed at Burger World.

great.

So which of your duties there do you like the most?

Beaver likes all his duties.

Well, great, Beavis. But what type of duty do you enjoy more than any other?

Let's see. That's a tough one.

Well, no.

Well, I mean, the ones that, you know, take a long time, you know, are kind

of... Nice. So you really like to get involved.

Oh, yeah.

Get your hands dirty.

Well, yeah, sometimes.

Something you can really think your teeth into.

Wait a minute. Whoa.

You're disgusting.

Yeah, yeah, really. Come on.

That's enough.

Well, what about construction? Can you picture yourself working in

operating machinery?

Oh, okay.

Let's see.

Beavis, you bastard!

What the hell are you doing? Get out of the way, you jigger! I'm trying to work!

No!

Oh,

no! Uh, Beavis.

Beavis. What?

I think we should come up with some other ideas for you. Yeah.

So, Butthead, did you think of any more job possibilities?

Uh, no.

Well, how about a job in retail or sales?

Uh, you mean like those guys on TV?

Uh, yeah, sure.

You could sell things on TV.

Hello, I'm Butthead.

For years and years, I found myself unable to score.

But then one day, a friend introduced me to a product that changed my life

forever.

It's beer.

Got any?

Butthead, do you think you'd like a career in sales? Yeah.

Bear and check the roll.

Yes, Beavis.

I just have a question.

Can I earn some money in the comfort of my own home while I watch TV?

Uh, no.

Damn it.

Beavis, have you ever thought about the military?

Actually, I've thought about it a lot.

Okay, man, listen up.

The way I see it, we strike at dawn.

Because, um, you know, they'll still be in bed with morning wood.

And I want full air support.

I want you guys to shoot people.

And I want tanks and some fire throwers. And I want explosions over here. And I

want planes going... That's gonna be cool.

Beavis! Beavis!

The military.

Yeah, that would be cool.

No, I don't think the military's ready for you.

Besides, it takes a lot of hard work and discipline. Not to mention that you

have to get up at 5 a .m. every day.

Oh. Oh, man, never mind.

Excuse me, dick.

Careers suck.

They all make you work and stuff.

Yes, they do.

Look, guys, I'm just trying to tell you the reality of the situation. Let's get

out of here, Beavis, before we turn into a dork like this guy. Yeah, really.

Butthole. Wait, I...

Oh, what's the use? Yeah, what's the use of working if you're just gonna end up

like that dude?

Yeah, really.

Hey, Beavis, we should quit our jobs at Burger World.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh.

But it isn't normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch.

Whoa.

Is this video over?

Yeah. Yeah, it's over.

Well, that was pretty cool. I mean, it sucked, but at least it was short.

They should make them all this short.

Yeah, really.

Then you wouldn't have to listen to them as much.

What else is on?

Okay, we've got chick.

We've got computer stuff.

I think this is going to be some kind of chick in the future video.

Yeah, as long as they're in my future, that's cool.

I see a hand in your future, Beavis.

Your hand.

Oh, it's him! It's him! It's the Rickalot! Oh, yeah.

Cool.

You hardly ever see this dude on TV.

I'm just gonna listen.

Yeah, really.

He might talk about butts again.

This guy rules.

Yeah.

See? See? He said he still likes butts, see? Yeah.

Whoa. It's like, he's got all these chicks around him who would probably do

with him. And all he talks about is how he's going to ride one of those bikes.

I don't know, buddy. Those bikes look pretty cool.

Yeah, you can go ride one of those bikes and I'll be scoring. Damn, that would

be cool. I mean... No.

Dumbass. You know,

like, sometimes when I think about my dad, it's like... I always imagine that

he's Sir Mix -a -Lot.

What you wish, Beaver. Your dad was probably that roadie for the Marshall

band. No way, butthead.

That guy could have been your dad, too, you know.

Uh, oh yeah.

Get him on camera.

I'm on ya. I'm on ya.

Get it

on camera.

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