Original subtitles

What I'm trying to get out of all of you is to live your lives with passion.

Go out and seize the power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seize the power. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Beva.

He's my wiener.

Now, we all have things we want, but we just never get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You

see, butthead, I told you. See, this guy's making sense. It's like, see, I

a score, and I want money, but I never get it.

Damn it.

I'm going to tell you how to get those things.

Come see me at Book World tonight. Whoa.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

We gotta go to this, butthead. I'm serious.

Beavis, you dumbass.

That guy's just... Stop, butthead! I am gonna go. And I'm gonna score.

I'm sick of never getting any.

And there's nothing you can say to stop me.

So there.

Okay,

Beavis.

Dumbass.

Thank you.

I get tired of not scoring.

I don't take them so long. Come on.

Thank you.

And hey, thank yourself.

Hi, young man. How are you this evening? I want to get chicks, and I want to

score. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.

What's your name?

I'm Beavis.

Okay, Beavis.

I can tell you're a young man with a lot of potential, but you need more

confidence. Remember, the miracle that is Beavis.

Now, I want you to tell me your name again, but with more confidence. Go

Don't be afraid.

Okay, check this out.

I'm...

I'm Beavis.

All right, that's what I like to hear.

You've just taken your first step at getting what you want, confidence.

Now, you've got to decide what you want to achieve.

Remember, it's in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.

I want, like, chicks and stuff.

Okay.

And what do you want to do with them?

I want to touch their butts.

And maybe their boobs, too.

That would rule.

I see.

Well, once you become a more assertive person, Beavis, you can have anything

want. The world is yours.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what about Chick's butt?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Here, take this copy of my book.

I'm giving it to you because I think you're a good investment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks.

No problem.

Now, just get out of here.

Save the power.

Does anybody remember anything about the side angle side theorem?

I didn't think so.

It's important to take a moment to dream about what you really want from life.

Beavis! Dammit, you will listen when I'm talking.

No way.

I'm sick of school. And I'm sick of you. What?

You get the hell out of here!

I'll see you in detention.

Okay, cool.

I'm gonna go get some chicks and some nachos.

Hey,

get out of the way.

Beavis, why aren't you in class?

You stay the hell out of this, McFaker.

I'm sick of you always telling me what to do.

What?

But I'm the principal.

I'm supposed to tell you what to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to stop blaming others for your, um...

for your denials and, um, you're supposed to decide what you'd be or

McDicker.

Take strong actions

toward your goals and never forget what your goals are.

Um, I'm Beavis, dammit.

My goal is to get some nachos. Right now.

I don't care who in the hell you are. Nachos are two bucks.

Oh, yeah? Is that a fact?

Well, I'm Beavis, and I'm a miracle or something.

And I'm sick of all you people getting in the way of my natural power.

Bottle.

Natural.

I am the miracle. That is Beavis.

Pretty cool.

And you too can learn the secret of unleashing your true power, thus

establishing your own powerful identity.

It was like, um, after I talked to him, I really felt like I was, um, you know,

like in charge of my life and stuff.

Of course.

Ow!

Zeebus, you were acting like a dumbass, and all you did was miss some good TV.

Really?

Well, maybe you're right, but still, you know, um...

That dude had some pretty good ideas, you know, about how you can, like, be

own, um, your own self and, like, um... No! Oh, God!

Davis, shut up and stop talking like a damn wuss. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry.

Whoa, hey, check it out!

There's something bare -ass on TV!

Ah, yeah, is this PBS?

That guy's touching his wiener.

Yeah. I'm gonna touch my wiener.

If you're, like, famous, you can touch your wiener and nobody cares.

Isn't that dude on 9 -2 -0 -1 -0?

Yeah.

That show sucks.

Yeah. Those chicks are stuck up. Yeah.

Stuck up my butt.

You think he knows that everybody hates him? Yeah.

What a wuss.

This video would be cool if they had, like, chicks and tight pants everywhere.

Yeah. And lots of fire and explosions. Yeah.

And car accidents.

Then it would be cool. This video is stupid.

Change it.

Hey, Beavis, you get the one in the middle.

Shut up, Pickerwood.

Keep your... Hello?

Weight Watchers? May I help you?

I'm pretty cool, huh, Beavis? Yeah.

These are rich chicks.

Yeah, you can tell.

Their parents were in the Beatles.

Yeah.

These chicks sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Yeah, I like Theodore.

He's cool.

Which one's Theodore?

He's the fat one.

I bet the fat one has a big butt.

I like big butts and I will not lie. You other brothers can't deny.

That was cool.

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