Original subtitles

So call now.

I'm so lonely.

Cool.

Does it count if you, um, you know, do it over the phone?

Uh, yeah.

Tired of being less than a man?

The Leibowitz Impotence Clinic may have the answer to your problem.

So go ahead and call.

Leibowitz. We make it hard the easy way.

Impotence.

Hey, put it. What is impotence?

I think he means, like, when you can't score.

Whoa, really?

I think I have that.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe that place can help us score.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we need some help.

Help me.

I have impotence.

Hello, uh, beef and, uh, butter head.

I'm, uh, Dr. Leibowitz.

My nurse tells me that you two are having difficulty having sex.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Can you set us up? Well, frankly, most of the men I see are in their 40s and

50s. Your aunt said you could help us score, butthole.

At least give us some phone numbers. Now calm down.

I understand how upsetting this must be for you.

Let's try to see exactly what the problem is.

Now, I'm going to run some tests to gauge your ability to become aroused.

Now, I'm going to show you some photographs.

When you begin to feel aroused, just raise your hand.

Now... Are these pictures of the chicks we're going to get to score with?

Yes. Well, if you find that helps, I think that would be an excellent way to

think of them. Cool.

Bring them on.

Yeah, yeah.

Which lucky girls will be fit to join my harem?

Okay.

Here's the first image.

Yes. I'll take her.

Yeah, yeah, me too. I saw her first, dill hole.

Hmm.

Let's go on.

Whoa.

Interesting.

Beavis, why didn't you raise your hand this time? Didn't you find the image

exciting?

Beavis's hands are busy, sir.

Impotent yet easily aroused. This is a very intriguing case.

I'm going to need to run some more tests.

Okay, gentlemen.

I'm going to show you some more pictures.

These machines will measure your precise level of arousal.

Whoa.

Okay.

I'm just going to wait until you calm down a little before I show you the next

picture.

You know, I'm not going to even bother with the next picture.

No way. Hey, hey, wait. Hey, wait. No, no. I want to see it. Come on. Come on.

Hey, hey, hey.

Damn it.

Beavis, you dumbass. Forget the pictures. Pretty soon we're going to

a real chick.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Look. So far, you've scored off the charts on every arousal test I've given

and frankly, I'm stumped as to the nature of your impotence.

I think the next step is to give you full physicals. Uh, what?

Just wait here. I'm going to send the nurse in.

See?

I told you, Beavis, we're going to score with her.

Yeah, you're right.

It's really going to happen.

Okay.

Why don't you both just go ahead and strip down to your underwear?

Come to Butthead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come to Beavis, too.

Right now.

Doctor! I am not going to touch them. You deal with them.

Beavis, you butt munch. You scared off my chick. No way, Butthead.

He was looking at me. We were going to do it.

Butthole. Ow.

Mankind needs me. She was not your chick, Butthead. She was looking at me.

Hey, Butthead.

It kind of, like, um, sucked.

That we didn't get to score with that chick?

Uh, yeah, kind of.

But at least now that we're not scoring with her, we can, like, you know, do

other stuff.

Yeah, like we could look at these pictures again.

Uh, yeah.

These don't really look all that great.

Yeah, seems like they look better back in the office.

Maybe we should take more of the saltpeter stuff.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Peter.

These guys are cool.

You take a mortal man and

put him in control.

Watch him become a god.

Watch people hit the road.

Whoa.

Cool.

Grandpa Buster.

Whoa. A peaceful man.

Yes!

Whoa.

Shit.

That was cool.

Fire is cool.

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