Original subtitles

A little to the right.

No, the right.

Up a little.

There, yes!

Oh, the picture's perfect. Keep it right there.

Hi, guys. Check it out. My dad bought us a new satellite dish.

I'm going to be able to watch 200 channels.

Uh, you mean like on TV?

Yeah, it's so cool.

200 channels!

Finally, a chance to hang out together.

This is cool, huh, guys? Shut up, Stuart. We're trying to watch TV.

Yeah, yeah.

Keep it shut.

Now, back to Night of the Comatose Decapitated Undead, Part 7.

TV violence

rules.

Uh, wait a minute, guys.

I don't think my mom... What are you boys watching?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Get out of the way, dammit. Sorry, boys, but as Stuart's mother, I need to

protect him from the media's glamorous portrayals of violence.

There. That's better.

Why don't you watch baseball?

That was a pretty good game.

Stuart, dear, please change the channel.

Sorry, guys.

Dammit.

What the hell is your mom's problem, Stuart?

Your mom sucks.

that may not be appropriate for some viewers.

That's right, this story is full of

extreme graphic violence.

I repeat, you may not want your children watching this shocking, violent,

exclusive eyewitness news report.

I'm sorry, boys, but I've really got to put my foot down.

You see, I'm a mother, and it's my job to eliminate bad influences from my

little boy's life.

You'd be amazed at how damaging violence can be to Stuart's psyche.

Why, his father took him to a PG -13 movie and the poor boy had nightmares

week. So please, let's keep the TV tuned to children's programming, okay?

Super.

Dammit, this wussy crap is pissing me off! Come on, come on, get violent!

I wanna see some violence!

Beavis, you dumbass, it's just a kid's show.

Here, I'll find something violent. No way, I wanna do it! Give me that, you

of a bitch!

Dammit, Beavis, I'm gonna shove this remote control right up your butt!

No!

Dammit, this no -violence crap is starting to piss me off.

Yeah, really.

What's the point of having 200 channels if you aren't gonna watch anything cool?

I'm going to talk to your father about returning that satellite dish as soon as

he comes home.

All those channels do is promote violence.

Whoa, look. He's got a knife.

I bet we're going to see some violence.

It's a cooking show, dumbass. He's just going to, like, cut food with it.

Damn it, butt -head. Change it back or I swear I'll rip your butthole off.

I'm going to kick you in the head.

These baby rabbits will spend a full year fighting over time. That is, unless

the hungry find them first.

Whoa.

Wait a minute.

Happiness.

You said penis.

That's what I tell you. I know.

Why do you think they call it happiness?

Oh, yeah, yeah, because like, you know, it's like your wiener.

When your wiener is happy, you're happy.

Yeah.

I wasn't feeling very good when the song started, but I feel pretty good now.

Feeling pretty happy.

Thank you.

Shut up, Beavis. You're a miserable piece of crap.

Shut up, butthead.

I'm happier than you. No way, Beavis.

You're miserable because, like, nobody likes you, chicks don't like you, you're

not good at anything.

Yeah, but I'm...

I'm hung like a horse.

Feeling pretty good.

Shiny, happy people.

Shiny, happy people.

Thank you.

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