Original subtitles

You wonder why you can't get yourself a woman? I'll tell you why. You're weak,

frail, and your pathetic butt is sagging. But today's your lucky day.

scientifically engineered... Blueprint for success.

You too can look just like me.

Monster pack.

Six pack.

And check out these cheeks.

So get off your duff and start exercising.

But exercise alone will not produce a body like mine. That is why you need to

get on the phone and order your monthly allotment of Megapulk. Made from fiber.

Brand. egg whites and an arsenal of protein -packed vitamins!

Megavoc will have you packing on major muscle mass in no time!

Cool.

So what are you waiting for?

Pick up the phone!

Come on!

Do it! Do it now!

Uh... Hello?

We want cool butts.

Yeah, yeah! Cool butts!

Uh... No.

Uh,

no.

Uh,

no.

Yeah, well, you suck.

That dumbass wanted all kinds of, like, checks and credit cards and stuff.

What? Looks like we're just gonna have to do it ourselves, Beaver.

Yeah, cool.

How are we gonna do that?

Uh, let's go to Stewart's.

Come on, guys.

This is my mom's stuff. What are you doing? We're going to be cool.

We're going to get in shape for chicks and stuff.

Really? Can I be in on this, too?

No way.

You're too fat already.

Oops. Stewart will clean it up.

Okay, dude.

Drink up.

Here's to our butts.

And our wieners.

Fuck. You're on a score, don't you?

Yeah, but... Uh

-oh, guys, my mom's home.

We better clean this up.

We, like, gotta go exercise and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Take care.

Thank you.

Yeah? Can we stop and rest?

Uh, okay.

Jogging, fuck.

Yeah, I don't feel too good. Yeah, I gotta take a dump from all that mega

stuff we drank. Yeah, me too.

I gotta go back.

Yeah, me too.

I'm going first.

No way, fart -knocker, I'm going first. No way!

Dammit, Leela, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Hey, how's it going?

Oh no, not this guy again.

and body -shaping guru Peter Small collapsed and died today during the

his latest infomercial. The coroner's office is quoted as saying that the

was caused by heart failure brought on by muscle stress to the lower bunghole.

Exercise sucks.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Just sitting here is cool.

What is this?

It's the Gatman.

I should have a name for this kind of music.

There already is a name for this music, Beavis.

It's called crap.

You ought to have, you know, a crap section in the record store.

Yeah.

It should be out in the dumpster.

No way, buddy.

There's cool stuff in the dumpster.

You wouldn't want to mess it up with this crap.

You like that music they play in those closed

stores in the mall?

Where they have, like, a bunch of TV screens?

Oh, yeah.

And it's all loud.

And then, like, the salespeople come up and say, Hi, would you like a tie today?

Those places are stupid.

Oh, boy, this sure is horrible.

The United Colors of Bentaton.

You know, it kind of sounded like he said poop.

Well, you know, this is the scat man, and scat is like another word for poop.

How'd you know that?

I learned that when I did my report on feces.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

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