Original subtitles

Hey, butthead, what time is it?

Uh, I think it's time for the news.

That sucks.

Yeah.

Here's a shot of what the weather is like today, and let me tell you, it is

perfect. Boy, we don't get many days that are this beautiful this time of

so if you haven't been outside yet, I strongly suggest that you get out as

as possible.

How the hell are we supposed to hear the TV with all that noise outside?

Yeah, really.

Boy, oh boy, I just can't get over what an incredible day it is outside. I tell

you, Dick, it is absolutely gorgeous.

Yeah, well, as soon as I get home, I'm heading straight for the pool.

Damn it.

Same crap on every channel.

Yeah, this sucks.

There's nothing happening.

I think there's something wrong with the TV.

Let's just wait till something comes back on.

Okay.

Did you cut the cheese?

No.

Good.

Did you?

No.

Yeah, that's good.

You boys ready to do something positive?

Hey!

Hey,

buddy. I just had this really cool dream where, like, there was a... Shut up and

watch TV, dumbass.

In local news today, a jetliner crashed into Highland High School, causing

massive bruising to everyone on board and a search for missing teachers.

A high -speed chase ended in a residential backyard today when police

forced to gun down a desperate felon. And an ambulance crew, racing to help a

teenager who blew himself up with his chemistry set, crashed into a van full

teenagers known as positive acting teens.

Details tonight on the 10 o 'clock news.

Whoa.

We're lucky the TV came back on. We could have missed all the action. Yeah,

really.

Just so you know, I think he just said on the bone.

Okay.

He's a dog lover.

Oh, yeah.

Would you do a dog, Beaver?

Let me think about that.

You mean like if I could never score with a chick?

Yeah. If you could never score with a chick, would you do a dog?

I don't know.

I guess, like, maybe a beagle would be nice.

Or a Dalmatian or something.

It depends on their personality.

You'd do a dog.

You know,

I'd probably have to, like, go around, like, you know, mess his butt first, you

know.

That reminds me of this joke.

There's these two dudes and they see this dog licking its nads.

And so they say, why does it do that?

And then the one dude goes, because he can.

And then he says, well, maybe you ought to pet him first.

So why does he lick his nads then?

Because he can.

Get it?

Not really. I mean...

Anybody can lick a dog's mouth.

For what?

Dumbass.

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