Original subtitles

Okay,

listen up.

Part of physical education is learning what makes your body break down.

What we're talking about today, class, is alcohol.

It's my hope that when you meet our guest today, His disgusting, repulsive

physical condition will be enough to convince you to stay sober.

Here he is. Now take a good look at him.

Whoa.

He looks cool.

Hello, kids.

My name is Dennis, and I'm an alcoholic.

Cool. Yes.

Five years ago, I had my own business. I was making pretty good money, had a

family, a nice house.

But I lost it all because of my drinking.

Well, now I spend all my time at Rolling Hills.

It's a clinic for people, like me, who have a problem with alcohol.

That's cool.

Hey, Beavis, maybe they can help us with our problem.

Yeah, maybe they could get us some beer.

Hi, how can I help you?

Uh, we've had a lot of trouble, like, getting beer and stuff.

Yeah, I mean, we heard you could set us up. I see.

It sounds like you need our support group for alcoholics.

Yeah.

I'll put you in Dr. Steve's group. Why don't you follow me?

This is gonna be cool.

Hi, guys. Welcome. Have a seat. Hey, how's it going?

Uh, hey.

So, uh, what are you drinking?

Well, it looks like our family has two new members. What are your names?

Uh, I'm Butthead, and this is, uh, Beavis.

We're alcoholics.

Yeah, yeah.

Where's the kick?

Welcome, Butthead. Welcome, Beavis. I'm Dr.

Steve. The other members of our group were just telling us a bit about why

they're here.

Hi, my name is Joe, and I'm an alcoholic.

And last week I spent my whole paycheck on booze. Whoa. Yeah, all right.

Do you have any left?

Beavis and Butthead, why don't you guys share a little bit about why you're

here? Well,

we saw this commercial, and there was, like, this guy, and he had, you know,

like, a beer.

And then there were all these chicks.

That was cool.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like we need beer, and we don't want to wait till we're 21.

Yeah, I started early myself.

Yeah, man, I heard that.

For me, it was always like beer and chicks.

Beer and chicks, man.

And, you know, and it was crazy.

You guys rule.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, beer and chicks.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, group.

We're going to continue sharing our experiences with each other.

Who wants to go first?

I think I've finally cleaned myself up.

Wow, that's great, man. That's really great.

But, you know, just take it one day at a time.

Hey! Butthead, did you have something to say?

Yeah,

I just want to know when we're going to get some beer.

Hey, man, I know what it's like.

I once went two years without a drink. Yeah, but I've never had a drink.

You guys were supposed to get us some beer.

Yeah. Why don't you just stop all this whining crap and break out a couple of

cold ones?

Mmm, cold ones.

That does sound pretty good. Guys, we've all been through a lot.

Yeah, let's go. There's a bar right down the street.

Come on, what's one beer gonna do?

Yeah, we'll just have one, and then we'll come right back.

Guys, let's try to remember why we're here, huh?

Come on. You know, I bet I could drink just one and then stop.

Yeah, yeah, come on. Couple tall, frosty, smooth, cold ones.

Pure and cool as a mountain stream.

You know, guys, I can't take it. I need a drink.

Come on.

Yeah, let's drink. Okay, guys.

Hold on to your centers.

Remember your centers.

Look, I told you kids, you got no ID, you look underage, and if I serve you, I

go to jail.

Then, uh, how about one for the road?

Yeah, you know, like, um, one to help me, um, forget or something.

Get out of here, both of you!

It's okay, Barton.

These are good kids, yeah, you know.

Uh, you know, you boys remind me of me when I was a kid.

Yeah.

Someday we're gonna be like you.

Yeah, yeah.

We're gonna be drunk.

That's my boy.

I'll be damned, it's Dave Navarro.

Uh, who?

Dave Navarro. See, um, he was in, um...

Another band, and then he quit, and now he's in the Chili Peppers or something.

How do you know?

I saw it on MTV News.

You hear it first.

You're a dork, Beaver.

Did you hear it from Kurt

Groter?

No, from Tabitha Thorin.

Get it?

Or in.

I get it, Viva. You're a dork.

You know the MTV News theme song?

Yeah.

You hear it first.

How come the Chili Peppers, like,

have a new guitar player, like, every couple weeks?

Well, I think what happened is, um...

Like, they join the band, and then, like, leave, I guess, you know, like,

chicken ass, you know, on the plate.

And I'm like, Anthony, you know, getting all the chicks.

And then, you know, the guitar player says, you know, screw this.

Did you hear that on MTV News?

They took my ass. You.

Hear it first. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

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