Original subtitles

Well, class, this will be my last day as your teaching assistant.

I just wanted to say a few words of goodbye to the young women here.

This has been the most depressing experience of my career.

I have never encountered a more sexist classroom.

I pity you and I fear for your futures. That is why I am urging all of you young

females to join the Sisters of the Highland Society for Women.

We will be meeting at the community center to discuss our plans to picket

Cineplex 5, which continues to debase womankind by promoting films featuring

actresses with breast augmentation.

Hey, buddy, I think that chick up there wants us.

Yeah, probably.

The kind of inspiring women who refuse to prostitute themselves.

Whoa, prostitutes.

Those are like those chicks who do it for money. Oh, yeah, yeah. That would be

cool.

Uh, hey, does that mean they do it for money?

No. These women offer their services to the community strictly for free.

More there, dude.

Uh, this sounds different.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was slower before.

Yeah, and she was walking slower before, too, and she had bigger hooters.

You know, I sure would like to do Madonna. Yeah, me

too. I'd like to have sex with her.

That would rule.

Yeah, that's what I meant, too.

Kick ass.

Madonna looks pretty normal here. Yeah, really.

She just looks like a normal white -haired old lady walking down the street

get some groceries.

You know what I'm saying? Uh, yeah.

But for, you know, like an old white -haired lady, she still looks pretty

Oh, yeah, no, no, I'd do her.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'd do her, yeah. I'm not saying that.

You'd do your old white -haired grandma if you got the chance.

No way, butthead.

My grandma's got, like, brown kind of purple hair.

It's not white. Uh, oh, yeah.

Shut up, bunghole.

Madonna's always, like, masturbating during her videos.

Yeah, yeah, so am I, you know, during her videos.

Yeah, but, like, when she masturbates, she's still doing it with Madonna.

When you spank your monkey, you're just doing it with beaver.

Little beaver.

Boy, if I was Madonna, I would, like, fondle my boobs constantly.

And that is why we're also beginning a grassroots

campaign to change the spelling of the word woman to W -O -M -Y -N.

We're not just men plus two little letters anymore.

Hey, but isn't that sign spelled wrong?

Cool. Stupid chicks really put out.

Welcome to the Highland Society for Women. Would you like to sign our

list?

Hey, did you know your sign is spelled wrong?

Well, look how many chicks there are, butthead.

That's cool.

I didn't know this town had so many sluts.

I'd like to open the second half of tonight's meeting of the Highland

for Women by welcoming two important new groups.

The first is the Highland Sisterhood for Militant Feminism.

The second is two young non -women who have joined us from Highland High. It is

encouraging to all of us that you have decided to mend your ways and join us in

the fight against the patriarchy.

But I think they want us.

Yeah.

We're going to score.

Hey, bud, if these chicks, like, do it for free, then how come there aren't any

other guys here?

Dammit, Beavis, we've got a room full of chicks here who do it for free, and all

you can think about is how come there aren't more guys here?

Yeah, yeah, how come?

Beavis, I'm a little disappointed in you.

So, uh, you chicks want to, like, get it on or something?

We prefer to be referred to as women.

So, uh, you, uh, women want to get it on?

Jerk!

Wussy. You can't even score with chicks who do it for free.

No way, butthole. They were just playing hard to get. It's supposed to, like,

turn us on and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

It's working.

Hey, buddy, check them out.

I am drawn to them, as if by a power greater than my wiener.

Women right now.

Women right now.

So, um, do you want to do it?

Ow!

Ah!

Hey, buddy, what the hell's going on? Ow! Damn it, Beavis, if you want to...

You gotta be smooth, dumbass.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby. Where are you?

Oh,

yeah.

I've seen this video before.

A chick squats later.

You know.

Really? Can you see some cheek?

Oh, I don't know.

I think this is the Jesus and Mary chain.

Quit cursing, buddy.

I'm not. That's the name of the band, Viva.

Why would anybody name their band that?

I mean, like, every time that you, like, say the name of the band, you're like,

um... Doing one of those, um, those fins.

Yeah.

They're going to spend an eternity in hell.

But you're probably going to go to hell,

too, because you said the name of the band.

You know, this sounds exactly like that song.

Get it on.

That's what it is. Get it on.

Oh, yeah.

Get it on.

Bang your schlong.

And then there's that other part.

Get it on.

Bang a schlong.

With your dong.

Yeah.

Schlong.

And as I stand.

at the scene of the brutal beating of two sex -crazed teenagers, I can only

thank God that these brave feminists have finally realized that the only way

deal with male chauvinism is by fanatical violence.

Violence!

Violence! Hey, beaver.

When those chicks were kicking me, I, like, touched their thingies.

Me too.

And, like, one of them touched my nads with her fist.

It hurt, but it was still pretty cool.

Yeah.

We gotta go back. Next time I'm gonna touch their butt.

Whoa. This is that video that's like a plane crash.

If I was on a plane and it was crashing, I'd just like run around screaming and

stuff just to freak people out even more.

Wait a minute. I guess I'd try to like find a chick to do it with me first.

I forgot about that.

Yeah.

I'd go up to a chick and be like, uh, excuse me.

Do you mind if I use your butt for a flotation device?

Cool.

They're all getting ready to crash.

The stewardess is like, place your head firmly between your knees and kiss your

ass goodbye.

You know, I'd like to try kissing my ass, you know, but I'm afraid I'd end up

sitting on my face.

How come you want to kiss your ass?

I'd like to see what my bunghole looks like.

Go for it.

Don't worry, I'll spot you.

Okay, here.

My teeth!

Ow!

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