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1
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,080
Everybody shut up!
2
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:19,160
Right now, please give your undivided
attention to Clark Cobb and his good
3
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:20,220
friend Socko.
4
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:28,320
Thank you, young students. I'm Clark
Cobb from Cobb's Family Hardware.
5
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:32,220
Me and Socko here want to tell you about
the Christian businessman's annual
6
00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:33,380
charity case walk -a -thon.
7
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:39,220
Mr. Cobb, is it true that Jesus invented
the walk -a -thon when he walked out
8
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:40,580
onto the Sea of Galilee?
9
00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:43,860
That's right, Socko.
10
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,380
Socko's great.
11
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:51,640
Socko's got a hand up his butt.
12
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,140
When I look out into your eyes out
there... Uh -oh.
13
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,960
I think it's one of those TV preachers.
Damn it, Beavis.
14
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,260
Better not send them all our money
again.
15
00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:06,580
Oh, yeah.
16
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:08,589
It's like...
17
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,990
Sometimes I can't help it. It's like, if
they're going, I know that's right,
18
00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:12,090
yeah. Hallelujah.
19
00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:15,390
You know, like, before you know it, it's
like, I'm on the phone, like, saying,
20
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,590
yeah, yeah, here's all my money.
21
00:01:17,030 --> 00:01:19,770
Yeah, but it's like, you spend them all
your money, and then you're still just a
22
00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:21,470
dumbass with a lot of problems.
23
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:22,729
Oh, yeah.
24
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:23,730
Hey, you're right.
25
00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:25,190
Damn it. I got ripped off.
26
00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:27,910
Elvis is in your jeans.
27
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:29,950
Elvis is in our jeans?
28
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:32,630
Yeah.
29
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,740
Yeah, he put it. Check this out.
30
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,600
Elvis has left my jeans.
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00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:42,760
Damn it, Beavis. If you pull down your
pants one more time, I'm going to beat
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00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,360
the living crap out of you.
33
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,100
Okay.
34
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,279
Thank you very much.
35
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,280
Thank you very much.
36
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,260
Hey, Beavis, while you were fiddling
with your wiener, I think you said that
37
00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,160
Elvis is like in Joan Rivers.
38
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:00,860
Whoa, really?
39
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:03,620
That'd be cool.
40
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,200
Can we talk?
41
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,120
I've got Elvis inside me.
42
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,660
That doesn't sound anything like her.
43
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,400
Thank you very much.
44
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:14,620
Thank you very much.
45
00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,060
Check out Bunhead's go -kart.
46
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:20,460
Yeah. Go -karts rule.
47
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,600
When I'm old, instead of a car, I'm
going to have a go -kart.
48
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,600
Yeah.
49
00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:30,990
Elvis!
50
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:38,210
Ow! Ow!
51
00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:41,070
Ow!
52
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:43,790
Ow!
53
00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:46,290
You've got to pace yourself.
54
00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:49,290
Hello,
55
00:02:50,030 --> 00:02:52,930
boys. Learning how to drink from a cup,
Beavis?
56
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,070
Shut up!
57
00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:56,780
Diarrhea.
58
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,980
How come you guys aren't out collecting
pledges for the walk -a -thon?
59
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,160
Uh, pledges?
60
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:06,220
The way you raise money in a walk -a
-thon is you get people to pledge money
61
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,220
every mile you walk.
62
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,920
People give you X amount of money if you
walk Y number of miles.
63
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,840
You get people to pay you to walk.
64
00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:18,420
Cool.
65
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,100
Why didn't you just say so?
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00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:21,940
So, will you guys pledge for me?
67
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,800
Uh, okay.
68
00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:25,650
Like, uh, how much?
69
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,110
How's a quarter a mile sound?
70
00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:30,890
Uh, two quarters a mile?
71
00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:32,270
Seventy -five cents.
72
00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:33,770
Ah!
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00:03:34,070 --> 00:03:35,690
I just said that, dumbass.
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Okay, uh, a dollar.
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00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:39,910
Ten.
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00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,410
Beavis and Butthead.
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Ten dollars a mile each.
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00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:48,590
Hey, uh, don't you have to, like, do
something for us now?
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00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,410
Okay, fair's fair.
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00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,410
For every mile you walk, I'll pledge a
nickel for you guys to split.
81
00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:57,250
Okay. Great.
82
00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:58,690
See you at the walk -a -thon.
83
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,770
What's so funny? We just totally ripped
her off.
84
00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:08,990
Oh, yeah.
85
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:10,670
Cool.
86
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:13,090
And finally, folks, let me say this.
87
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:16,589
Each step you take is like a kick in
Satan's keister.
88
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:17,970
You ready, psycho?
89
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,690
On your mark, get set, go!
90
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,000
That's fucked.
91
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,240
Yeah. They didn't even use a gun.
92
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,240
That's okay, dude, because we're going
to be rich.
93
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,400
Yeah. Charity is cool.
94
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,720
This sucks.
95
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,340
There's too many people watching.
96
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,240
Yeah.
97
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,000
Let's go this way.
98
00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:56,650
Walking fuck.
99
00:04:57,090 --> 00:04:58,090
Yeah.
100
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:02,630
I don't understand what all this walking
crap has to do with making money.
101
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,130
Yeah, really.
102
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,390
Uh,
103
00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:10,490
we must be close to that ten mile mark
by now.
104
00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:31,640
Good job, boys. You made it. Your friend
Daria already gave me the 50 cents she
105
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,600
pledged you, so if you ante up the 100
bucks apiece you pledged her, we'll be
106
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,600
all squared up.
107
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,560
You two are fine young people.
108
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,720
Uh, could you, like, give us our money
now?
109
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:43,600
Yeah, yeah, give us our money.
110
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:48,340
Don't tell me you boys weren't planning
to pay. I thought we ripped off Daria,
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00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,360
butthead.
112
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:55,240
Uh... Boys, when you play the Christian
Businessmen's Association for fools...
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00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,800
You play the Lord for a fool.
114
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,900
Uh, could you, like, shut up?
115
00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:02,860
Yeah. Now, because I'm a Christian, I
will not strike you.
116
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:08,460
But because I'm a businessman, I will
see to it that you walk off this pledge
117
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:13,780
a rate of five cents a mile between you.
Now, let me see. That would be 4 ,000
118
00:06:13,780 --> 00:06:15,360
miles. You better get started, boys.
119
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,340
Uh... Um... Uh... What?
120
00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:27,370
Okay.
121
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,870
Uh... This is kind of irritating.
122
00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:32,530
Yeah.
123
00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:36,770
I bet there's one little song that,
like, sucks right now, but then later on
124
00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:37,770
starts rocking.
125
00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:42,590
Uh... How do you know? Because one guy's
got a goatee.
126
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:44,490
Uh... Oh.
127
00:06:46,010 --> 00:06:47,010
Well, let's see.
128
00:06:47,910 --> 00:06:48,910
Ugh!
129
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,140
Is that what you're talking about,
Beavis? What's going on?
130
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,360
What the hell is going on here?
131
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,020
Yeah, what is that?
132
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:06,440
This is like that easy listening stuff.
133
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:07,840
Oh, yeah, yeah.
134
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:11,800
Why don't they call that easy listening
when it's like really hard to listen to?
135
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,480
It makes me sick.
136
00:07:17,910 --> 00:07:21,270
Damn it, Beavis, you promised that this
would start rocking. I didn't promise,
137
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:24,710
but I said maybe it would start rocking.
Well, maybe I'm going to smack you
138
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,810
upside the head, you dumbass.
139
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:29,450
I'm going to kick your ass, I promise.
140
00:07:34,690 --> 00:07:41,370
Why do these guys
141
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:44,230
fuck so much? Yeah, they dress up like
they're going to rock.
142
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,560
But then they just suck.
143
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:47,420
Yeah.
144
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:53,360
These guys are like a cross between
Stone Temple Pilots and... And my dad.
145
00:07:54,180 --> 00:08:01,040
Nelson and... And my butt. Billy Joel
and my... And some turds. Eddie
146
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,040
Rabbit.
147
00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,800
Rats are cool.
148
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,880
Somebody better call the orchid man.
Whoa, candle.
149
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,500
Candle.
150
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:12,580
Candle.
151
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,700
Candle. Candle.
152
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:20,860
Have you ever seen those alarm clocks
that they're like candles and you
153
00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:21,860
stick them up your butt?
154
00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:24,040
Uh, I've never heard of that, Viva.
155
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,159
Yeah, yeah.
156
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,380
It's like they have all these times
written on the side, and then you light
157
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:31,820
and sleep on your stomach, and then when
it like burns down to the time, it's
158
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,600
like it gets on your butt and you're
like...
159
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,960
And then you wake up and... Really?
160
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,340
Yeah. I'll show you one. My uncle has a
whole bunch of them. He usually gives me
161
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:42,340
one for my birthday.
162
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,720
He bought it. That's the guy that works
at Maxi Mart.
163
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:48,020
Oh, yeah.
164
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,460
He's cleaning out the Slurpee machine.
165
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,780
Get me a large horchata.
166
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,680
Horchata and a blue wackadoo.
167
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,100
This chick is psycho.
168
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:05,120
Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like
she's pretty hot, but it's like, I don't
169
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,120
know, man.
170
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,100
I might stay away from her.
171
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,340
Yeah.
172
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,720
It's like she's got a nice body and
everything, but if you went out with
173
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,240
she'd probably, like, put a rat's head
on your bed or something.
174
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:21,100
That wouldn't be so bad. She'd probably
chop off your wiener tooth.
175
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:22,620
Oh, yeah.
176
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:26,600
You don't want to get involved with a
chick who has, like, a whole bunch of
177
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,600
pets.
178
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:29,810
They get all psycho.
179
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:38,990
Did I ever catch that
180
00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:40,850
dude who, like, invented the walk -a
-thon?
181
00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:44,010
I'm gonna kick his ass.
182
00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:47,770
Yeah. I thought charity was supposed to,
like, be for free.
183
00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:51,450
How about less talking and more walking,
boys?
184
00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,830
You're gonna finish this job even if it
takes you till the second coming.
185
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,470
Charity sucks.
186
00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:58,590
Yeah.
187
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,560
Whoa,
188
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,680
this looks like that cop show.
189
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:16,020
Yeah, really. It's like... One at them
five, one at them five. We have a female
190
00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:19,080
Caucasian chick standing in the road
acting like a dumbass. We're gonna need
191
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,080
backup, come on.
192
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,220
Uh, Roger, one at them five.
193
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,500
Grip her down naked and bring her to me.
194
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,120
That's a 10 -4, good buddy.
195
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,340
Come on.
196
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,580
That's pretty cool, Beaver.
197
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,380
You could probably be a cop.
198
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:39,820
I think it's, like, in my blood,
because, like, I heard my dad was, like,
199
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:40,820
Navy or something.
200
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,480
I'm,
201
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,800
like, one of those dudes that's, like,
really intent all the time. It's, like,
202
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,160
you wear the earrings and stuff, and,
like, sometimes it's pretty cool, but
203
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,160
sometimes I just, like, go...
204
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:56,419
Damn it.
205
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,420
Yeah.
206
00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:01,500
Guys like this, like, they always come
into Burger World telling you why meat's
207
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:02,620
bad for you and stuff.
208
00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:04,420
Oh, yeah, yeah.
209
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:09,060
But it's like, I always tell them, if
meat's bad for you, then how come it's
210
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,060
food?
211
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:15,200
Then I tell them to get the hell out of
my restaurant.
212
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:25,790
This looks like that dude from that
movie, Smell of a Woman.
213
00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,149
Oh, yeah, yeah.
214
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:32,010
You know, he was like blind and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, it's like, hoo -ha, hoo -ha,
215
00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:33,250
hoo -ha.
216
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,290
He's a good actor.
217
00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:39,890
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