Original subtitles

I gotta say, the last few heists have been pretty rough, with us getting caught,

but this one's a nice easy-in, easy-out.

Freeze! Put your hands in the air!

I got it!

Don't got it.

Webs! Piranha! Code very, very red.

We got caught, again.

-Yeah, we figured. -I'm working on a way to escape.

No need, Wolf. You've got a genius hacker on the team, remember?

Batter up!

I've whipped up some cutting-edge car-hacking tech.

Just go along with the guard, get in the van,

and I'll steer it to the lair.

Get in the police van? We're sort of trying not to do that.

Just trust me.

There's no tech I can't hack,

and this stanky old police van is no exception.

-I kind of need to get in on this. -Huh?

You think I'd let my Fin Bro get arrested without me? Not a chance.

Aww!

Well, if it isn't The Bad Guys. What brings you back here?

Oh, Gary, always with the jokes. You know the answer is crime.

Stop getting chummy with the cops!

-Uh-oh. -"Uh-oh"? What's "uh-oh"?

It's a sound that means "something's gone wrong."

I know. I know that. What's wrong?

Remember when I said there's no tech I can't hack?

Well, this van's so old, it doesn't really have tech.

Oh, great. A hacker who can't hack.

Well, that was a total fluke.

My car-hacking software always works.

Sorry about jail,

but at least it makes our lair feel like a five-star hotel.

I can't sleep on those prison beds.

They're so tiny and wet. And why are they made out of porcelain?

Buddy, were you sleeping in the toilet?

Well, no more toilet-sleeping for you, because we are not failing another escape.

But Gary the Guard's birthday is coming up.

The Fin Bros wanted to surprise him with a gift.

The Fin Bros can mail it.

The Fin who?

Before you joined the team, Piranha and I realized only we have fins.

From then on, we've been best fins forever.

We haven't done much with the concept, but we should.

What if we came up with a secret finshake?

-Bro! -Right, bro?

Love the energy, but let's channel it into a team brainstorming sesh.

We're getting in places, but we've got to work on our getaways.

If we want to be elite criminals, we've got to stop going to jail.

So, first thing tomorrow morning,

I want your best ideas on how to improve our escape methods.

Best fins swim upstream!

Wahoo! Yeah!

Oh, sorry. Just another Fin Bros thing from before you joined.

-You wouldn't get it. -Like an inside joke? I totally get those.

Wolf and I kind of have one.

Best Fur Bros.

You know, because we both have fur.

Right, Wolf? Fur Bros shed upstream!

-Come on. -Not a chance.

J.K. You're already talking to Snake.

Cool, cool, 'cause I'm talking with Shark and Piranha.

Let's try left fin to left fin, slap, pound, slap.

-My left or yours? -Both?

Yeah.

-Oh, great conversation we're all having. -…on the pizza. That's genius.

-Now, that's a good idea. -Phew! Uh, I am pooped.

Just gonna head to my room.

Best fins swim upstream!

Okay, so…

First, my tech fails,

and then "Fur Bros shed upstream"?

What was I thinking? So stupid.

Just calm down.

The team loves you. They even remembered your birthday.

Wait. That was Gary's birthday. Whatever.

The point is everything's fine,

as the secret cameras you planted all over the lair will show.

That last heist was a disaster.

Webs? Totally flubbed the escape.

Yeah, we've been caught a lot because of Webs…

Way to go, Webs.

You've always been the weird, loner indoor kid.

And you finally found a fellow group of weirdos to commit crimes with,

but now you're blowing it.

What if the team decides that, as the newest member,

they don't need me, and kick me out?

Get it together!

You're Webs.

You can fix this.

With the perfect idea for Wolf's brainstorm tomorrow.

We need to get good at escaping. Great at escaping. Like…

Like the greatest escape artist of all time.

It's brainstorm time.

Where's Webs?

Probably the bathroom. I just cleaned it, so it's hard to resist.

I do love a blank canvas.

Come on! Come on!

Uh, need any help there, Webs, with, uh…

What is it that you're doing?

We need help escaping.

Which got me thinking.

Who's the greatest escape artist in history?

Heistory.

Missed it!

Wait. You don't mean…?

I do.

No one's heard from him in years, and he's a bigwig,

so it wasn't easy to track him down.

But leave it to a techno-wiz like me, and…

Introducing the most notorious magician and criminal escape artist of all time,

the magnificent Mr. Wigglesworth!

Uh… Um…

Salutations!

-Huh? -And hello.

I can't believe it's you!

That time you vanished with an entire bank?

One of my all-time favorite heists.

I mean, aren't you the only criminal ever to escape Owlcatraz Island,

the more than maximum security prison?

I thought you died in that failed aquatic coffin escape.

I did, but only so I could attempt an even more impressive feat.

Escaping death!

And here I am.

Fin-credible.

Will you sign my copy of Escape From Owlcatraz Island Monthly?

Mr. Wigglesworth agreed to teach us the art of escape.

Great thinking, Webs.

-Nice one, Fin Sis. -Way to go, Websy.

Ha. That's me, brimming with helpful ideas that empirically improve the team.

I can teach you to be master escape artists

for three easy payments of 9.99

and an upfront security deposit of $5,000, plus a waiver.

And I'll also sign your magazine…

for an extra 20.

Whoa! Hey!

Let's do it.

We should make the most of me having brought a legendary criminal to help us.

-I mean, that's a lot of money. -Come now.

You could go from that…

-Hey! -Get this off me!

…to this!

Wow!

Sign us up, Mr. Wigglesworth.

Wonderful.

Then which room will magically be transforming into mine

for the duration of my stay?

Huh?

My course involves 24-hour intensive training.

I'll need to reside here if it is to work.

You strike me as a fellow with a clean, well-appointed room.

I'll use yours.

It would be an honor.

Welcome to your first lesson.

This is gonna be good!

Often when escaping, one requires a key. Why, you might ask?

Well, most commonly, for unlocking a lock.

Imagine, then, having many keys on hand.

What lock couldn't you unlock?

Wiggle-wazam!

-Where did he get those? -Right?

We have to carry that around?

In a sense.

But a ring of keys this large is quite hard to hide.

Which is why you'll be swallowing them

and carrying them via stomach.

Huh. You've caught my attention.

Swallow this? That seems kind of impo--

Then how come I'm done?

Hmm. All this swallowing has me in the mood for a snack break.

Uh, hey there, Mr. Wigglesworth.

You're, like, legit, right?

Because that handcuff trick was cool, but, uh, I-I mean, swallowing keys?

Really?

This is going somewhere, right?

Webs, I'm sensing…

I'm sensing that something is troubling you.

You are? Oh, of course you are.

It's just, uh, I'm the newest member of The Bad Guys,

and I messed up big on our last heist,

and everyone's got more experience and fin-based inside jokes.

Just as I suspected.

You're my idea to remind everyone that I contribute to the team.

I need your course to work, because, if it doesn't,

we're both getting booted.

Out of this comfortable lair, with its roof and functioning toilet?

That is quite a pickle. I want to…

I-I mean, I want you to stay here.

And I can help.

You can?

Keep me around for the duration of my lengthy, but effective, course,

and I'll presto-chango The Bad Guys into the best of crooks,

and make you look good in the process.

You've got a deal.

The next step to mastering escape is overcoming the body's weakness.

Yeah! Boo, weakness!

Go on, Shark.

Come on, go!

Go, Fin Bro!

Oh, no!

It's been, like, an hour.

Uh! You can't rush lesson-planning. He brainstorms best in the bath.

The ability to operate soundlessly will help you evade detection on heists.

To test your silence,

I shall nap.

If even the slightest noise wakes me, you fail.

Huh?

Shh!

Why did I try this again?

The key to success is persistence and belief.

What feels like failure is often just a step towards victory,

so keep going.

Yeah, we can't give up. We have to keep trying.

My car-hacking tech failed once,

but that doesn't mean I can't get it to work.

That's it. Don't stop now.

Escape is 90% desire, 10% perspire.

I'll be clipping these claws in my room, while you get out of those restraints.

What?! I agreed for you to sleep in my room,

not pollute it with your nasty corns!

This is probably just part of Mr. Wigglesworth's methods, right?

That's correct.

I am providing Piranha with a true desire to escape.

Webs, you're quite perceptive.

Don't let this one go.

Quite crusty.

This is ridiculous.

I think it's time to kick that coot to the curb.

No! We have to finish his course.

You can't just force someone out after one mistake.

-Right, Wolf? -Uh…

See? Wolf agrees with me.

Maybe Webs is right.

No, something doesn't feel right. What is this? What's…?

That geezer used my hat for tricks?

He may be a legend, but he's become a real nuisance.

These last few weeks really have me rethinking my no-human diet.

Wait. It's already been three weeks since Wigglesworth got here?

-Gerbils on pizza? Monster! -We need to talk.

Yes, yes, of course.

Right after an impromptu lesson on the long stall.

A good escape artist always needs a long stall,

which is, to clarify,

a way to buy yourself extra time to escape.

Which is, to clarify--

Wait a second. Are you long-stalling me?

Sometimes the best way to learn is to experience, dear pupil.

You're gonna tell me what's going on.

There hasn't been any training in days.

You're eating our food, sleeping in Piranha's bed.

Truth be told,

I'm just here trying to keep a roof over my head.

-You see, my criminal career is a flop. -What?

But you escaped Owl--

Technically, I was released from Owlcatraz Island on good behavior.

And after I ratted out my criminal friends.

But that's still escaping, in my book.

Anyhoo, I've ridden the coattails of that escape as long as I could,

but as my fame dwindled, work dried up.

I'd been between gigs for so long when Webs found me, that I had to milk it.

We are out of milk, FYI.

No wonder they say not to meet your heroes.

I want our deposit back, and I want you gone.

Oh, dear. I've already spent it all.

How did you burn through $5,000 so fast?

Most definitely not on a hot tub. Uh…

Unrelated, but is there a water hookup in this room?

That's it!

Got you! What?

I'm not falling for one of your tricks. Come out now.

-I get claustrophobic! -I'm sorry. This is just temporary.

Until, uh, I come up with a plan, which I'm going to do,

after a few more baths.

Ooh. Okay.

Hello, fellow Bad Guys!

Excuse me?

-"Fellow"? -You haven't heard?

Wolf is so pleased with my contributions to this team

that he's made me a permanent member.

-What? -Can he do that?

Yeah, Wigglesworth, that wasn't part of our agreement.

Uh, not that we had one, h-him and I. Who are we even talking about?

Wolf. And now he's making group decisions behind our backs.

Where is that furball? Oh, I'm gonna knock some sense into him.

I'll, uh, take you right to him.

Huh? What is this?

You were supposed to take me to Wolf, not your kooky wardrobe.

-And I have. He's right… here! -Hey!

Let go of me! Hey, get your hands off me!

Hey.

Do you know where Wolf and Snake are?

I finally figured out how to hack vehicles.

I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, Webs, but…

they've left to do a heist without you.

-They did? -I overheard them.

You were right about being on thin ice. But don't worry.

We still have our plan.

Right. Yeah.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Hey, Mr. Wigglesworth.

I have a question about something I've noticed is missing.

M-m-missing?

My Fin Bro thinks you know where he can find it.

I assure you, I do not.

But you do.

I'm missing out on maximizing my stage presence,

and I love your props.

Where do you get your… Exactly! Like a smoke bomb.

Weird time to demo--

Piranha? Wiggles--

Is that Snake's hat?

But he'd never do a job without it. Hmm.

You see, my criminal career is a flop.

He wasn't hard to find because he's a VIP.

He was hard to find because he's washed-up!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Let go of me! Hey, get your hands off me!

Shark? Piranha?

I need your help.

Where are they?

I'm so sorry to tell you this, Webs,

but they've also left to do a heist without you.

Seriously?

Perhaps you should just forget about getting in The Bad Guys' good graces.

-We could team up instead. -Oh, sorry.

I meant, "Seriously? You think I'd fall for the same thing twice?"

-Yes? -No!

I admit, I made a big mistake last heist,

and then made a bigger mistake by getting caught up in it,

then the biggest mistake by letting you trick me while I was down.

But that doesn't matter anymore.

I need to save my friends.

Me? Trick you?

Webs, I would never.

Can it!

I reviewed our security footage

and saw you throw Wolf and Snake in your creepy wardrobe.

I went to help them, but it's gone. Tell me what you did.

Oh, I can't take it anymore!

I'm not a bad guy. Well, I am, but not a "bad, bad guy."

I…

I didn't plan on any of this.

I'm just hungry and confused, and I don't know what I'm doing.

Your friends are in a prison van.

I turned them in for some trumped-up crimes.

-What?! -It was for my health.

There was this strange tugging feeling in my chest

whenever I looked at the wardrobe.

I felt sort of bad about my own actions?

Are you talking about guilt?

What have I done?

You're going to help me fix this. Then you're going to get out!

I say, I'm starting to understand how you feel,

like maybe I'm not wanted around here.

You're not!

Don't even try to compare us.

You're a conniving moocher, I work hard.

And I'm great at what I do.

So zip it and get in the car,

because I can't reach the pedals… or the wheel.

I'm trying to patch and upload an advanced, wireless car-hacking program

onto a micro satellite dish, and your swerving is messing me up.

Sorry. This turny thing is confusing.

You mean the steering wheel?

Uh… You've driven before, right?

Ooh! I can see the police van up ahead.

It's going quite fast.

I'll press the go-go pedal and see if we can catch up.

Leave it to me.

Stop! Stop, stop, stop!

-Whosever hand that is, move it! -Is there a toilet in here?

Webs is here to save us.

She's asking us to handle the driver.

How? We can barely move.

Yeah. This is tighter than those ropes.

That's it! Wigglesworth's toenails.

Bro, things are bad enough without you bringing that up.

Wrong.

We need things to be even worse so we have a true desire to escape,

just like Wigglesworth said.

Piranha, I hate to do this to us, but any chance you could…?

There's more to me than just farts, you know. But fine.

-Even I hate it! -I can't breathe! No!

Ah, wow. Oxygen.

What's going on back there?

Sorry about this, Gary.

But Piranha and I are still sending you a birthday present.

Aww! Thanks, Fin Bros. I--

Hey!

-See you, Fin Bros! -Huh? Wait a minute.

-Who's gonna drive this thing now? -Webs is handling it.

You can do this, Webs.

Huh. It works!

Well, of course it works. I'm a genius!

Let's get you home.

-Who said spiders couldn't drive? -That's what I'm talking about!

Piranha, we'll talk about your diet.

But I gotta say, it feels great to have escaped that wardrobe.

It did seem cramped in there.

Is it a good time to reveal that this was all my final test,

to see if you could utilize your skills in the real world?

Get lost!

Finally.

But if you think I'm going anywhere, you've got another thing coming.

This team needs me.

Yeah, we know. What made you think we didn't?

Uh, I don't know. Snake's snarky remarks? All your inside jokes I don't get?

And me overhearing you say we've been getting caught a lot because of me.

When did we say…? Oh. Oh!

Oh! You…

Webs, you need to listen to the rest of that conversation.

You keep the security-cam footage.

Hello! Did you not just hear me? I don't care what you say. I'm awesome!

Yeah. That's what we were saying.

Wait, what?

Yeah, we've been caught a lot because of Webs…

helping us get into way more places since she joined.

She's got talent.

I'm sure she'll have the techno what's-it of hers up to snuff soon.

Then we'll nail the getting-out part too.

Ah. Well, this is embarrassing.

And just so you know, my snark is how I show affection,

without actually having to show affection.

And Snake and I both think

the Fin Bros thing is super obnoxious, so you're better off not getting it.

To be honest, I don't get it.

Shark comes up with stuff and I go along with it.

What? I thought you were coming up with stuff that I was going along with.

High fin!

Sorry, Webs. You're stuck with us.

Yes! Um… I can live with that.

Shh!