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1
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Now, that brings me neatly to point 16.
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There is still a great deal of noise going on at night -
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laughing, giggling, horseplay.
4
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Now, we all get bored that's inevitable in our circumstances -
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but may I remind you, we are at war. I wo...
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Ah. Lieutenant!
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Communique for you, sir, from HQ, marked urgent. Ah. Finally!
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This'll be my requisition for a service revolver.
9
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Good God! Sir? France has surrendered. My God!
10
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The Germans are coming!
11
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I... don't think they'll be here just yet, sir.
12
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What? Right.
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May I suggest we initiate the emergency lockdown protocol, sir?
14
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Yes! Yes, jolly good.
15
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No, it's vital that nothing fall into enemy hands.
16
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You heard the CO. Get to your duties.
17
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Er... exciting times, Havers.
18
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If they do invade, we may get a proper pop at Jerry. Yes!
19
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About that, sir...
20
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..I know we do vital work here, sir...
21
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...but I want to get involved in the fighting.
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I've put in for a transfer.
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You're leaving?
24
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There's talk of a North Africa front.
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Yes.
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Yes, well, I-I-I totally understand, of course.
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Carry on.
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Thank you.
29
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And seeing as nobody else has volunteered,
30
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I thought that this evening, before Film Club,
31
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I would give you all a little talk on... activity badges!
32
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So...
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There are 37 badges that you can collect.
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Badge number one, bivouacking! All right!
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Clever dicks!
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But I'm sorry, I mean,
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if anyone else has anything new that they'd like to...
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Ooh, ooh, I could do my talk on how to skin a mammoth.
39
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You start at the end...
40
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That's not new! That's not strictly new, is it?
41
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I'm ready to talk about the witch trial.
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THEY ALL GO SILENT
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Witch trial...
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If... if it be of interest.
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Oh! Oh, Mary!
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I mean... if you're sure. I mean, if you feel like you're ready.
47
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Well, I knows it's taken me a whiles to-to talk.
48
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Only about 300 years.
49
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But, yeah, I-I think I'm ready.
50
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Brillo pads. You OK? Can't flipping wait!
51
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And we'll do that before Film Club. Before. OK.
52
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And how many rooms do you have? Well, I think there's, like...
53
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Natural light! So that's a...
54
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Ooh! Period stairs clearly.
55
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Interesting space.
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Sort of... rustic.
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Colonial!
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Quite a niche market, wedding-wise.
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I heard Isabelle from Belle's Weddings passed
60
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and you were sick on her.
61
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Ah, no, I was sick near her. Mm.
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Some went on her. A little bit.
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Can I be honest with you?
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I don't like it.
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I love it! It is a little shabby
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round the edges
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but with a bit of zhooshing up, this could really suit the right couple.
68
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And do you happen to have any clients who are interested, like...
69
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Soon? There is one -
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Clare, I'm showing her some other places today.
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She wants to book in ASAP.
72
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Shotgun wedding! Ah...
73
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I'm kidding. I think this could work for them.
74
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Piano tick!
75
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Open fireplace tick!
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Canape room tick.
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Mood painting of creepy old lady - tick.
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Kitchen tick. Perfectly placed
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to allow you to flow right through this corridor,
80
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straight into your garden at the back
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where you can set up your main marquee right... here!?
82
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Oh, no! Er, yeah.
83
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We can't show people this!
84
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There's rough around the edges, and then there's a bombsite.
85
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We haven't quite got round to clearing it yet. But we will.
86
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By this afternoon? When? What?
87
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I was going to bring Claire round after showing her the other venues
88
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but I can't show her this!
89
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You have to make space for this sort of marquee
90
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if you want to host weddings here.
91
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Without it, you've no catering flow.
92
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No flow, no go. Yeah...
93
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Guys, you've got to get it wedding ready.
94
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We'll clear it. We will?
95
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Is what I wanted to hear!
96
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Let's make this happen.
97
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I'll delay Clare as long as I can. Say... four o'clock?
98
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Ciao-ciao!
99
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Five hours?
100
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Loads of time!?
101
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,360
So, Film Club! Now, I know it's not my turn to choose, but
102
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I would like to lobby hard... for Top Gun.
103
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Not again!
104
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I don't know about you, Mary, but, er, I quite like the look, of, er,
105
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ooh, Chariots Of Fire?
106
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,600
No. Actually, er, how about... Mississippi Burning?
107
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Towering Inferno?
108
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Hmm! Huh! Maybe she is ready. Could be the case.
109
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Anyway, it's my turn to choose this week, so tish-tish-tish...
110
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I don't think so, mate! It's mine.
111
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Faradiddle, sir! You had your turn two weeks ago. You swapped with me.
112
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No, no, I don't recall to that.
113
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Even if I did, it would have been a verbal, non-binding agreement.
114
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You show me your thumb, sir?
115
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I would show you my glove, sir! If I had one.
116
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I would give you a bunch of fives, mate.
117
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I used to box for Cambridge, y'know! Go! Let's go, pal!
118
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Guys, guys, guys, guys! S'il vous plait!
119
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French. Ooh!
120
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Why don't we put it to the vote?
121
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Oh, yeah, put it to the people, like they know what they're doing!
122
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Hands up who thinks it's Thomas's turn.
123
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I've got my hand up. Probably. Somewhere.
124
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Ra-da-da-da-da! Hang on, not everyone's here.
125
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Well, where are they?
126
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Ahhh!
127
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Oh!
128
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Hmm! Ooh!
129
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Oh... my... God.
130
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Oh, Martin's right. We're never going to be wedding ready.
131
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Well, let's get redding-wea... redding-ready. Er, wed...
132
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Oh, no. Ready...
133
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Alison, if you please,
134
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Julian says that it's his turn to choose Film Club,
135
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and it isn't, it's mine.
136
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Please, everyone, we're having a bit of a crisis here.
137
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This is a crisis. You know? I mean, it might not be the Suez Crisis,
138
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but it's a very... Guys, guys, guys, guys,
139
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shut up! Good! Let her speak.
140
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It's all right, you can speak.
141
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We're trying to get this wedding booking.
142
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Oh, there's going to be a wedding? How wonderful!
143
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The dresses, the men, the kissing...
144
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But we need to clear this whole garden by four!
145
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We're never going to do it!
146
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Hang on a minute. Ooh, jinx.
147
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You go first, Michael. We can do it.
148
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If we clear that... Hmm...
149
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..and then we move this... And I'll help, too.
150
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,680
How, Pat? I could be your wingman! You know, like in Top Gun.
151
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I can be Goose to your Maverick. Yeah.
152
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I'll keep this lot occupied while you do what you have to do.
153
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And Goose dies in the film so, y'know... it works out, doesn't it?
154
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Thanks, Pat. Yeah. Of course we can fit a marquee in.
155
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I mean, how hard can it be? They put a man on the moon.
156
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What? What? What did he say?
157
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Er... Man on moonah?
158
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OK, I'll go get the tools. You check the measurements.
159
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Let's get redding red... Wedding ready. Redding... Wedding ready.
160
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Let's get wedderi... It's wedding ready. Let's do this!
161
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Yesss!
162
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Alison, what was the man doing up there on the moon?
163
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They went to explore. Oh!
164
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And how did he get there? Climb up a beanstalk, did he?
165
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You're dicked in the knob. Wha...?
166
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I don't believe it. No. No!
167
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There's no way it could happen!
168
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Pat, now would be a really good moment to be a wingman.
169
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Great! OK, everyone, let's turn and burn.
170
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Oh, sorry, Mary.
171
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It's a quote from Top Gun.
172
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Let's grab the computer that folds.
173
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Oh, goodness me!
174
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Ooh! Ohhh!
175
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But he's such a... a ruffian!
176
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Oh!
177
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Oh!
178
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Think about it, Robin. Man has always looked up at the moon
179
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and thought... "Can you eat it?"
180
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No, "Can you walk on it?"
181
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Press play.
182
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In 1969, the world watched in wonder
183
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as three brave astronauts took off from Cape Canaveral.
184
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Their destination the moon.
185
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Ooh! It was an amazing moment.
186
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Everyone remembers where they were. I was with Carole, at her parents'.
187
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Fish and chips for tea.
188
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It was the first time I ever tried a battered jumbo sausage.
189
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Never looked back!
190
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I missed the whole thing. I was still a student at Cambridge
191
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busy having my own "moon landing" if you know what I mean!
192
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My first threeso...
193
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Moonah!
194
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Ah, there you are. What's going on here?
195
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Oh! I'm, er, helping Alison.
196
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Yes, keeping this lot busy while she and Mike dig up the garden.
197
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Which garden?
198
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How are you getting on?
199
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It's going to be a squeeze. First, we have to clear all of this.
200
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No! No.
201
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,800
Belay that order, Michael. You can't dig there. That's a negative.
202
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,480
Wait. Sorry, one second, Mike.
203
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Didn't you tell them we're busy?
204
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Most of them are watching YouTube. Jel.
205
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Why can't we dig there?
206
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Because that's a very special part of the garden.
207
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,760
Er, that was where our allotment was, the regimental allotment.
208
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,280
It's fine, Mike, just keep digging.
209
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,160
But, no, it's where we buried our pets.
210
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,840
Er, my dog is buried there, right there,
211
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and he was very special to me. Barry.
212
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Barry? Barry.
213
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Wait, Mike.
214
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So, sorry, you had a dog called Barry?
215
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Mm.
216
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,400
OK. Mike, you can just carry on. No, thank you, Michael!
217
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Ohhh! Oh, that was a deep one. Ohhh!
218
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Call him off! Call him off, I tell you.
219
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,520
OK, just one second, Mike.
220
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,480
When I was at Button House, there was a war on.
221
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I don't think that's ever come up before.
222
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,160
There is something buried down there that is very sensitive.
223
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,120
Captain, the war is over.
224
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,160
Is it, Alison? Is it?
225
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,440
Yes, it is.
226
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,560
Please... don't dig.
227
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,560
There is something down there
228
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that is potentially explosive if it gets out.
229
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,880
Er... Mike, do you think we could clear the other side?
230
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Just the other side, Michael.
231
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Looks like a lot of work.
232
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Sorry. It's a ghost thing. Well...
233
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Come!
234
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Ah! Havers.
235
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At ease, at ease. I was just thinking about you, actually.
236
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,760
How's the emergency lockdown coming? Very good, sir.
237
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Most items have been squared away, as per the order. Excellent!
238
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I see... I've come to tell you that...
239
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,840
Sorry, you first, Lieutenant.
240
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,720
I'm afraid I'm leaving you, sir...
241
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..at 1800 hours this evening.
242
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,480
So soon?
243
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,400
That would explain your new service revolver.
244
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,160
I don't suppose they sent one for me, did they?
245
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Only for front-line personnel at this stage, sir.
246
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,240
Of course. Yes.
247
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,840
It's North Africa, sir.
248
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,120
I'll be able to have a proper swing at Fritz!
249
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You make sure you give them a bloody nose!
250
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,880
I shall miss you, Havers.
251
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:45,560
By which I mean, of course, that we shall miss you.
252
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,760
And I know the Button House XI will certainly miss your cover drive.
253
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,840
Thank you, sir. Well... if that's all?
254
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Yes.
255
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,040
I say, Havers?
256
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,440
It's a bally shame we won't get to finish the operation together.
257
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,280
..which leads to the question - where next?
258
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,040
Mars, or even the outer edge of our solar system?
259
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,440
Only time will tell.
260
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,120
Well, I never.
261
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,760
Anyway, Film Club. Yes! Now,
262
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,360
I was thinking 9 1/2 Weeks.
263
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,560
Over my already dead body, sir! Fine by me!
264
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:12,120
Guys, guys, look, why don't we settle this properly, OK?
265
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,640
Quite right. Let's settle this like men.
266
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,680
Would you care to step outside, sir? Yes, I would, sir. Indeed, sir.
267
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,000
Guys, you don't have to do...
268
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,200
Where are you going? I promised Alison that you would... Ohhh!
269
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,760
OK, the moon landings. Everybody says it's real,
270
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,040
but what if that's just what they wanted you to believe?
271
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,360
Oh!
272
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,000
Right, you both know the rules, so we're agreed.
273
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,920
To solve this once and for all -
274
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,600
on three...
275
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,600
One, two,
276
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,680
three...
277
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,400
What's that supposed to be? Pistol.
278
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,120
Thomas... I always choose pistol.
279
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,280
Yeah, it really worked out for you last time, didn't it?
280
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,800
There were circumstances around my death, I'll have you know, sir.
281
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,360
It's rock, paper, scissors, Thomas. I thought I told you.
282
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,320
No, it's all right, let's play it his way.
283
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,080
One, two, three...
284
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,920
What's this now? AK-47 assault rifle.
285
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,960
Sold 50 crates of these bad boys to the Libyans in '83.
286
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,200
Paid for my orangery!
287
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,560
You can have one of these as well.
288
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,400
You don't get two weapons!
289
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,280
Julian, come on!
290
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,560
And this. Pshhhhh!
291
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,720
You're on fire, mate. Argh!
292
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,440
Sorry, Mary. Well, no, actually, because... Sorry!
293
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,600
Argh! I'm melting! Can't feel it. Nothing happened.
294
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,440
What should we do with all this?
295
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,400
Maybe just pile it up over there and then we'll deal with it later.
296
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,480
I think we might just do this. See? Told you!
297
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,400
Redding red... Redditch...
298
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,960
We got this. Mm.
299
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,120
Oh, great...
300
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,400
How are we going to move that?
301
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,200
I think we might have to break it up with a big hammer or something.
302
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,800
What? We can't do that! Can we?
303
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,280
Yeah, why not? Florence!
304
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:03,520
Oh... wait. I can already tell this isn't good news.
305
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,800
Who's Florence, Kitty? She was one of my best friends.
306
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,960
I used to play hide-and-seek in the garden with my sister
307
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,040
and I was so good at hiding that often she couldn't find me
308
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,480
for a whole day and night!
309
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,600
I once got so hungry, I had to eat a bit of my purse.
310
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,960
Florence kept me company.
311
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,760
Oh, so you made a statue of her?
312
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,560
No, she is a statue. Eh?
313
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,760
That's enough. We'll sort this out right now.
314
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,080
Guys! Oh, I'd forgotten all about you.
315
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,800
Zoinks! Where've you been hiding?
316
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,440
Guys, she's a statue!
317
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,400
Pat, you were supposed to be keeping everyone occupied. Yeah...
318
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,680
It's like herding cats!
319
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,760
I'm sorry, Alison, I'm a terrible wingman.
320
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,440
Well, can you at least sort out these two?
321
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,160
Yes.
322
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,800
Oh! Hang on! Guys? I think I've had an idea.
323
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,600
Follow me. Let's turn and burn... again.
324
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,920
So, are we smashing this up or what? Aaargh!
325
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,120
All right, one sec, Mike. No, Kitty, please.
326
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,400
Oh, please stop, please.
327
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,440
We won't... we won't destroy Florence.
328
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,960
We're just going to, er... we could move her.
329
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,600
It's a deal... as long as you play hide-and-seek with me. Ah.
330
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,440
So we're moving her? Yeah. Sorry.
331
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,720
I think you might be an expert at this game. I'm very good at it, yes.
332
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,360
OK. Well, you hide first. Ooh! Ooh-hoo...
333
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,240
One... two... You'll never find me, Alison!
334
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,920
..three... OK!
335
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,560
Sorry.
336
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,960
..that's why we need to look seriously
337
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,120
at the grassy knoll. I mean, look at those angles.
338
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,640
..because Elvis Presley did not die that day on the toilet.
339
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,840
That's how we know the British monarchy was replaced by weasels.
340
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,040
No, it's fine. I have to say, it's lovely to be included.
341
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,760
Game on!
342
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:48,920
See what you've got.
343
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,960
Julian, serve! Bring it!
344
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,400
Adrenaline
345
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,640
Fie!
346
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,160
Whoaaaaa!
347
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,080
Yeah!
348
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,440
Whoa!
349
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,880
Hello, Alison.
350
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,920
Oh! Ohhh! You found me!
351
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,440
Oh, I found... Oh, you're playing, too!
352
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,480
I don't know... Yes!
353
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,440
No-one has ever found me before, ever!
354
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,440
You're so good at this. Thank you.
355
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:58,040
Right, your turn to hide. I'll count, you hide, and I'll seek.
356
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,640
OK... One...! Oh, it's numbers! Two...
357
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,600
Oh, no, it's numbers! Three...
358
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:14,400
Ohhh! Ooh! Oh!
359
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,160
Fanny! Fanny!
360
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,760
Oh! Oh, Captain! Fanny, are you quite all right?
361
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,040
No. No, I find myself having a, er...
362
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
..a conniption fit. Good Lord!
363
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,040
Er, er, I have become... attracted to someone.
364
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,720
Well, Fanny, I, er... I'm very flattered, er,
365
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,920
but I've got a lot of problems of my own at the moment...
366
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,760
Oh, good heavens, no!
367
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,480
No? Not you!
368
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,920
No, no, no. Never you! Yeah...
369
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,120
No, I-I... cannot say who.
370
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,120
But I know not what to do.
371
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,880
Now, steady, Fanny, steady the buffs.
372
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,600
Now, look here, nothing good will come of it.
373
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,520
You must take that emotion and you must bury it.
374
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,080
Never let it out.
375
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,840
No more, Fanny, no more. Wha...?!
376
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,560
Ooh! Oh!
377
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,320
Any luck? Just can't move...
378
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,440
Argh!
379
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,000
It's pointless!
380
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,400
That was my favourite toe! You have a favourite toe?
381
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,080
Don't you have a favourite toe? I've not really thought about it, Mike.
382
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,760
No, no, not fair. The head was out. By a nose!
383
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,560
What?! Tell them, Humphrey.
384
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,000
Oh, don't ask me. I'm just happy to be part of the game.
385
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
I feel so alive!
386
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,640
Right, well, as the judge here...
387
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,200
Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's listen to the judge.
388
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,720
Let's listen to the man.
389
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,360
What? Lone gunman? Do me favour!
390
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,960
And Paul McCartney died in 1966.
391
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,720
I know it. Don't even get me started on the so-called "moonah landings".
392
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,320
Whooo! Sorry!
393
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,120
Don't worry. It's quite a nice view.
394
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,480
Ha, ha, found you! Ohhh!
395
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,080
How wonderful!
396
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,480
Now, erm, you hide and I'll counting.
397
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,240
Yes. No peeking! No, no peeking.
398
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,640
One... two...
399
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,720
..three... four...
400
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,160
Oh, I'm so done with this. No. No.
401
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,440
You know what? ..14...
402
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,040
We've cleared loads. I'll get rid of the garden waste
403
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,600
and we'll make the best of it. Huh?
404
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,640
Yeah. Alison!
405
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,600
There is something I must confess.
406
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,560
It is a matter of moral rectitude, and I can hold it in no longer.
407
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,920
Open your eyes!
408
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,000
Next, you'll be telling me gravity doesn't exist!
409
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,880
Well, you can't see it. How do you know?
410
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,320
Alison, could you explain to Robin that the moon landings were real?
411
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,440
The moon landings! You cannot be serious.
412
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,440
..97... 98...
413
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,400
..99... 100!
414
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,840
Oh. Ah...
415
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,160
What the bally hell do you think you're playing at?
416
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,400
Alison! Get away from there!
417
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,560
Get down! Get right out of the way. It's going to blow!
418
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,800
It's a bomb!
419
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,600
Mike, Mike, get back! Just get back!
420
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,720
Go!
421
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,640
Get d-o-o-own!
422
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,760
Captain?
423
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,080
Oh.
424
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,000
Yeah, maybe you right about gravity.
425
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,760
Now, I realise that was an utterly futile gesture,
426
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,640
but I was very much caught up in the moment.
427
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,360
Wh... what the hell was that?
428
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,480
Er, I was very clear, Alison.
429
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,200
What? I didn't think you meant literally explosive!
430
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,800
I thought you meant, like, it was scandalous. No!
431
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,440
It was a prototype limpet mine.
432
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,480
It was so secret that only I knew about it
433
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,360
and my second-in-command Lieutenant Havers, but... he left me.
434
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,080
I mean, he left for the front.
435
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,640
So, er, I had to bury it on my own, along with the blueprints.
436
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,760
Operation William, it was called.
437
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,520
Oh, that's Martin.
438
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,920
That was a ghost thing? Yeah.
439
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,840
Maybe next time tell me if it's a bomb!
440
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,280
I didn't know!
441
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,960
OK, I'll stall Clare and Martin in the house and you just...
442
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,720
Oh, you just do what you can.
443
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,480
Yeah. Actually, a very clever little device,
444
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,480
a cunning timing mechanism in the housing
445
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,520
allowed the frogmen to exfiltrate safely.
446
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,640
Anyway...
447
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,640
They've gone, haven't they? Good!
448
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:10,440
Go on. Ah, Robin. Now, so, they had four suckers... Suckers.
449
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,000
..and they attached the limpet mine underneath the waterline... Oh!
450
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,080
..blew a hole in the boat and, then, of course, the boat sank.
451
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,800
..and this is the main common room. Again.
452
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,920
Erm, we thought... It is really nice, but can we...?
453
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,240
Did... did you want to see the library? Again?
454
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,000
I'd really love to see the garden.
455
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,520
Now... Claire, I... I need you to keep an open mind.
456
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,080
We know that the rest of the house can be dressed, um,
457
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,200
and we are working on the garden, believe me. Erm...
458
00:24:58,360 --> 00:24:59,720
Redding weddy!
459
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,280
I love it!
460
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,280
Great!
461
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:18,440
OK, so, really exciting presentation tonight, guys.
462
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,360
As promised, Mary is going to be giving a talk
463
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,240
about her witch trial.
464
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,480
No, sorry, no! I've had, erm, a... a bit of a setback.
465
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,280
OK. OK, yeah, that's understandable, isn't it, given the, erm...?
466
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,680
Sorry. Yes.
467
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,800
So, now, seeing as we technically didn't finish the match,
468
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,240
I'm calling the volleyball game a draw.
469
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,520
What? Are you on drugs? No! I was ahead!
470
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,400
That's enough. That's absolutely enough. I've had a bellyful!
471
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,000
Now, since we can't resolve this,
472
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,720
I've decided that I'm going to choose the film tonight.
473
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,520
Is it Love Actually? I love Love Actually, actually.
474
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,560
9 1/2 Weeks. The Notebook.
475
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,920
Please don't shout out, OK?
476
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,040
The film I've chosen has something for everyone -
477
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,560
drama, visual poetry...
478
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,600
It's got some of your lot in it, Robin.
479
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,640
Ooh! And... some pretty ladies for Julian. Yeah!
480
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:15,200
It is, of course, 2001: A Space Odyssey.
481
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,760
Thanks, Pat. You can be my wingman any time.
482
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,360
Bullshit, you can be mine.
483
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,720
It's from Top Gun.
484
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,440
Just here.
485
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,440
Ooh, that's got a kick to it, that.
486
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,720
OK. Mm. Mm!
487
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,840
What was it you wanted to talk to me about?
488
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,120
Oh! No, just a passing fancy is all, Alison.
489
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,360
Please don't trouble yourself.
490
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,280
Kitty, I'm sorry about Florence.
491
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,080
Oh, that's all right. I wasn't really that fond of her, anyway.
492
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,120
You're a much better best friend than she was.
493
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,720
Thanks, Kitty.
494
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,480
Wait. No, that not right.
495
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,160
What? Earth not round. It flat.
496
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,280
You what? It flat.
497
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,280
To our first wedding booking! Cheers.
498
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,240
Here's to buried secrets.
37376
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