Original subtitles

Let's just get this started.

Are you kidding me?!

Who's a good cat?

Today while shopping at morton williams,

We'll be taking part in a taste-test survey.

While sampling a brand-new chip next to another shopper,

We'll have to answer a few questions

About how it tastes.

But here's the secret ingredient.

Our answers will be fed to us by the other guys,

And whoever smirks the most loses.

Smirks. Smirks.

Smirks.

Oh, here he goes. Juicy mouth.

I'm sorry. I'm hungry.

How many timesis the bit going to be you eating?

It's so good.

You're out there today, uh,

With, uh, our dear friend cole.

-So these are all -- -you're doing a taste test?

-Yeah. -Can I -- can I do it?

-Let's do it. -You can take your pick,

And then I'll ask you some questions.

Aside from the main flavor,

What other notes are you picking up on?

Is this kind of a -- a rice?

"rice? What?"

Rice? What?

"what are you, cuckoo in the head?"

What are you, cuckoo in...

It's okay. I got the laugh. You don't need to say anything.

What are you, cuckoo in the...

Alright, so describe the mouthfeel.

"mm. Wet soft tongue teeth."

For me it's, uh, wet soft tongue teeth.

"this is a fun question.

I never thought about my mouth before."

This is a fun question.

I never thought of my mouth before.

Yeah. Try them. They give them $20 if you try.

"aw, now, who's this broad?"

Who's this broad?

Your sister? Hi, I'm james.

Nice to meet you.

Alright, these chips are entirely made in the usa.

-Hey. -Hey.

How does that make you feel?

Makes me feel proud.

Proud.

Sal: "surprised."

Surprised. "they feel so eth-panish."

They feel...

They -- they feel so eth-panish.

Can you recall any marketing campaigns

For snacks that you found effective?

"the one with the old hag who asked, 'who beefed it?'"

The -- the --

The -- the one with the, uh --

The one with the old hag who asked, uh, "who beefed it?"

"there's no way she's still alive, right?"

She's -- she's -- no way she's alive anymore, right?

-"she beefed it." -she beefed it.

Murr, you are killing this now.

Alright, this is the final one, bud.

Would you feed this to the crew?

Well played.

Murr: Alright, q, it's time to take your taste test.

-So you get -- -are these free?

-Yeah. -Oh, they're samples?

If you answer a few questions, you get a $20 gift card.

'course. Oh, really?

-Rapid-fire through them. -Sure.

Sure. So what kind of dip would pair well with this chip?

Queso.

Um...

I don't know.

Wait, q, hold on.

"can I get her money, then, for that question?"

That's a smirk.

That's good. Out of the gate.

-Yeah. -Broke the seal.

So is it per -- are we getting paid per question?

Cole: No.

No, just to answer some questions. No?

He's smirking again.

So what activities do you associate with snacking?

"yeah, parties."

Yeah, parties.

Movies. Going to the movies.

-Movies. -Yeah, movies.

"is she going to get the credit now for the other?

'cause she's answered twice.

Does she get the cash for the first one?"

Does she get the cash for that question

That I didn't answer? - no.

And, like, she gets it for the first one?

Does it carry over?

"where do we stand right now?"

Where do we stand right now?

"how much is in my account?"

How much is inmy account?

You're both going to get $20 after we finish.

So it doesn't really matter. I'm good.

We're good. We're not in competition.

-No. -Oh, I thought we were.

-No. I'm not compe-- -okay.

What -- what kind of gathering would you bring this chip to?

New year's.

Q, "anything where people are pulling an all-nighter."

Anything where people are pulling an all-nighter.

-"college." -college.

"or, like, a missing-person vigil."

Or, like, a missing-person vigil.

That sort of thing.

touché.

No chance of finding that kid, but you get snacks.

That's about it. Thank you both.

Uh, when do I get that 20?

Murr: Here we go.

-Is that open to anyone? -Yeah, yeah.

For -- for $20? If you want to join, I can do you both,

Yeah, at the same time. -For real?

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

What activities do you associate with snacking?

-Video games.

"diddy still throwing them white parties?"

Diddy...

diddy still throwing them white parties?

Not so easy is it, sal?

So, these chips are made entirely in the usa.

How does that make you feel?

Usa is usa.

It doesn't matter where they're made.

If they're good, they're good.

So it makes you feel good. Alright.

How does that make you feel?

"they feel so eth-panish."

'cause they feel so eth-panish.

Come on. He's holding on.

-I'm sorry. Say -- -eth-panish.

Like "spanish."

How do you spell that?

E-t-h..."spanish."

Spanish.

What kind of gathering would you bring this chip to?

"finger fest."

Finger fast.

"it's an all-finger-foods festival."

It's an all -- like, an all-finger-foods festival.

"I'm obsessed with fingering small foods."

I'm obsessed with fingering small foods.

This guy is making your life harder, bud.

You like fingering small food?

"fingering small foods" is what I said, yeah.

-"finger fest." -finger fest.

Talk about things you noticed

When the other person was eating.

They chew with their mouth open.

"I-I didn't notice.

May I try feeding him a chip

And watch what he does with it, sir?"

I didn't notice...When he ate.

May I try feeding him a chip and seeing what he does with it?

-"sir?" -sir?

So, you're trying to finger me a chip?

You fingering that chip.

We pulled one of our top cancer scientists

Off of cancer to work on these chips.

Is that yuck orsuck?

It's yuck.

Ask the other guy, cole. I got to know his answer.

So yuck orsuck?

stop saying it like that.

Stop saying it like that.

Okay, one more.

Murr: You're done.

Okay, one more.

What's a fun snacky-doo

You'd love to choke to death on, and where?

That's it, buddy.

Murr: You're done. You're done.

You lost.

Narrator: Sal smirked his way to a loss,

Making him first up on the loser board.

Today we're posing as pharmaceutical advertising execs

Looking for feedback on a new marketing campaign.

The whole campaign for these new drugs

Has been created by the other guys.

At the end, we'll ask, by show of hands,

Who thinks that these ads are good to go.

Now, the guy who gets the least amount of hands raised loses.

And the pharmaceutical companies get everything else.

-They win in the end every time. -Every time.

Uh, nice to meet you all. Thank you for the time.

Uh, so I'll fill you in together what, uh --

What the focus group is about.

The company is a pharmaceutical company.

They are testing out a new ad campaign

For a new pharmaceutical drug coming out,

Possibly in the next year.

You are the litmus test, as they say.

-Ah. -So feel free to be honest.

Fair enough?

Okay, so this product is called wilthaxtin.

Today's drug is a nod to will thaxton, our art director.

A nod or just named after him?

Wilthaxtin is an fda-approved sleep aid

From a trusted family of products.

So the first slogan to think of is --

"wilthaxtin -- sleep like -- like you've never been born."

I don't know what the feeling of never being born is.

It's like, what is the sound of one hand clapping?

I literally feel like this is an ad for assisted suicide.

-Slide one of the bit.

Okay, so, uh, print ads,

We've got a couple different, uh, varieties here.

First, "not sleeping kills."

okay,

You've got the atomic bomb, hindenburg, and thetitanic.

Let's move on to the commercial campaign.

Narrator: Trouble sleeping?

wilthaxtin.

just close your eyes...

...And open wide.

wilthaxtin.

That would keep me awake.

This is for October. It's a fall campaign.

This gives ax-murderer vibes.

It just makes the product seem harmful.

Like, "oh, you can't sleep?" -okay.

Like, "wilthaxtin will take you away." murr: Well...

Okay, so, uh, storyboards for the big game.

They're using the metaphor of two, uh --

Like, a married couple.

Two adorable kind of monkeys together.

They're sleeping.

Then after that, we have a close-up of the male monkey.

He looks bad.

He has had a very restless night's sleep, as you can see.

Okay? Then he's on his way to work.

"have a good day at work, honey."

Okay?

Uh, he forgot his banana because he's so exhausted.

You don't know where this is going?

-I have a feeling.

Murr: So he goes back home to get the banana.

Uh-oh. What did he see?

-Oh, god. -Oh.

He sees his wife sleeping with the milkmonkey.

Maybe she would have been fidelitous

If he had had a good night's sleep.

And then, "sorry, mr. President, I can't make it to work today."

"but you're my best bodyguard."

"enjoyed. Dallas, sir. I am heartbroken."

So the impli-- the implication here is that.

Whatis this?

But then it goes to, of course,

The assassination attempt.

"sleep now...So the others may not sleep forever."

And ends with, "wilthaxtin."

None of -- nothing I saw today...

Says that this is a serious company.

Sal: Oh, great time to ask the question.

I guess, by show of hands, how many of you think

This ad campaign for wilthaxtin is good to go?

q: Murr, what a flop.

So my name is sal, and we're -- we're working on a campaign

For a pharmaceutical drug.

Alright, here we go.

Here we go.

Uh, maccaprozole, it's called.

So that's the name of the drug.

Um, it lowers the amount of acid in your stomach.

It treats indigestion. It treats heartburn.

Especially during the big game.

A lot of beer drinkers, a lot of wing eating, and all that stuff.

And so this is targeted for them.

So our slogan here -- uh, "maccaprozole --

Bing. Bang. Boom. A pill for da culture."

Now...

Who's watching football? Right?

Um, just a lot of friends, dudes hanging out.

And, you know, that stomach-acid culture that we all know.

The stomach-acid culture?

"da." they're going to be like, "da culture? Eh."

You know what I mean? Like, "eh."

Yeah, we are co-opting "da culture," obviously.

-No, that's not -- -right. "da culture"?

Sal: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're co-opting that, so... Right.

Okay, fair enough. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

So there were some pitches to have a mascot attached.

Uh...

Yeah, so that is the pill.

What is she doing?

Uh...

-Twerking? -Twerking.

She looks like she's twerking.

The large demographic here is --

Is guys... -Right.

...So we wanted it to be playful, flirty.

"you know, like stomach acid."

Like -- like stomach acid.

I don't hate it.

Yeah, I don't hate it.

I don't hate it.

Well, I suppose her looking back like this

Also is not necessary. -Right.

-Yeah. -Showing her pill rear end.

Ass-id reflux. Ass. Ass-id.

This is an example of what could be an ad.

♪maccaprozole, kids ♪

♪come on ♪ -♪ come on ♪

♪ stomach acid started the assault ♪

♪take your belly back with maccaprozole ♪

Why are they all white?

-♪won't be getting ulcer ♪ -♪ ulcer ♪

♪maccaprozole, it's 4 da culture ♪

Look at her face.

That's going a little bit back to "for da culture."

-Yep, yep. -"for da culture," yeah.

"for da culture."

It's a bunch of white people dancing in a warehouse.

I mean, there is one thing.

It's giving hip-hop, rap.

There are no black people in the commercial.

-Yes! Yes! - yes!

-There aren't? -I didn't think --

-I didn't see anyone. -Hold on.

♪maccaprozole, kids ♪

not one black person.

Not even one.

-And so -- and so -- -aah, aah!

No, no, you're right. -Yeah.

You know, 'cause they filmed it in australia.

Show of hands --

Is any of this ready to go or...?

-No, it's not ready to go. -No, not even close.

Yeah, I got by these australians.

Sal: Q, here we go.

Let's do it. Let's get started.

Dancasterol -- hair growth for men formula.

dancasterol.

It's new. It's coming out on the market there.

Dancasterol -- the moist maker.

Huh?

Alright, we'll keep going.

Uh, yep. Alright. And that's, uh...

Look at that guy.

That is a -- a flowing...Mane.

This is what dan cast looks like in reality.

That's what I want him to look like.

Uh, so we're off to a good start.

Uh, print ads.

Okay, "saddle up, cowboy."

Here he is again.

"talk to your doctor about dancasterol.

Strong enough for a cowboy.

Smooth enough for his saddle.

Not dancasterol.

Having a shirtless guy, that may --

May or may not be where people's eyes go.

Uh, okay, so this one wasn't a home run,

But the boys upstairs sent me a couple.

Uh, this is, uh. "ladies, start your engine.

Some men just have it.

The presence. The passion. The prowess.

Maybe it's the heat.

Maybe it's the hair.

Dancasterol.

The hair regrowth treatment women trust most.

I just think they're both not portraying

The right image of the product. -Okay.

But if I had to choose between the two,

Because I think they're both horrible...

Okay, it's alright. We'll keep going.

The storyboard for the commercial.

Okay, so these guys are, uh,

At a club or a party or something like that.

They're all hanging out. Here's the guy.

He's got a beautiful head of hair.

This guy's totally bald. Um, okay.

And now you go in on the eyes.

She's looking around. She's seeing what she can do.

She's seeing what she can see.

-Um, uh-oh. -Huh?

Uh-oh. What is this now?

The storyboard for the commercial.

These guys are at a club. She's looking around.

She's seeing what she can do.

-Um, uh-oh. -Huh?

Uh-oh. What is this now?

Now cthulhu's coming out,

And it's like, now she is --

Uh, you know, she comes -- she's got the red eyes.

She puts her things into -- into the other two guys right there.

Uh-oh. What's this? What's going on now?

Now they're at the club in the bathroom,

And she's getting a pill.

Oh, boy.

To be fair, I don't know what the is going on

At all, actually.

So she gets the pill, but it affects her negatively?

What's happening?

Um, she's a little whacked out by that pill.

It's not even the same girl.

But this guy's happy.

This guy looks like tim.

This guy looks a little bit like tim, actually,

If he had glasses on. -Yeah.

Murr: What's she doing under that blanket?

she's --

God knows what's going on.

She's...

Where'd cthulhu go?

Where -- where'd the three original people go?

The girl -- stick with me, tim. Stick with me, tim.

And then "danc--"

"dancasterol -- ask your doctor today."

I might be missing a bunch of storyboards.

Um, so, uh, thoughts on, uh...

None of this makes any sense.

It sounds like somebody's smoking pot or something

When they were making this.

Oh, I can guarantee you they were.

Alright, so that's dancasterol.

"so by show of hands."

So just -- just initial thoughts.

By show of hands, uh,

Does anybody here think that this is ready to go as is?

Mm...

it's so lame.

Narrator: Looks like these campaigns were all failures,

Making sal tonight's big loser.

Alright, sal's lost,

Which is why we're here today at vibe bqe fitness.

Buddy, you know how you go to the gym these days,

And these jerks are streaming live for all their subscribers?

Like, they're -- they call them, like, gymfluencers.

You know? I've seen it. I don't go to the gym, yes.

well, today, you know,

You're going to be one of those guys,

And you're going to be creating content

For your fam or whatever the hell these people stream to.

Get out there, buddy. You get some subscribers.

Get out there. Come on.

Alright. I can do that.

-Can you? -No.

Murr: Alright, buddy, welcome to the gym.

So your name is flex luther,

And your vlog is "mind body swole."

I hate you.

So set up your camera, tripod,

And we wrote a script for you.

By the way, you like that tattoo on your neck

We gave you, buddy?

Gamblepalace.Net. That's his sponsor, bro.

It's -- it's basically a crypto scam.

Start streaming, buddy.

Yeet. I'm flex luther, and this is...

Lookit. The woman in front of you is listening.

What up, fam? Yeet.

I'm flex luther, and this is "mind body swole."

Give it some more, "yeet, yeet!"

Yeet, yeet.

You look nuts, man.

This is your revenue stream, buddy.

You're making bank right now.

Hey, fam, reminder --

If we sell 50 more flex luther crypto blocks

Before beef Friday... - "beef Friday"?

...All the winners of my giveaway

Will be taking home flex luther's powdered pec butter.

Remember, if you're not using powdered pec butter like me,

You're not an apex predator.

Yeet.

Buddy, don't forget to pimp gamblepalace.Net.

Oh, yeah. They're your sponsor, bro.

You got to get paid.

What up?

It's flex luther here in the house of gains

Reminding you to visit gamblepalace.Net.

Cha-ching.

Doesn't he have an energy drink?

He -- he does have an energy --

Sal, bust out your energy drink.

What's it called?

Isn't it called monster load?

Yeah.

Yeah.

come on, man.

What up, muscle fam?

Flex luther here reminding you

That when you need to replenish after a beast-mode workout,

There's nothing better...

Dude, get it out.

When you need to beef up after a beast-mode workout,

You should just beef off with monster load.

Alright, buddy, go into a fan-favorite section --

"natty or not."

What does "natty or not" mean?

Natty. Like, is it natural or not?

Oh.

-You see what I'm saying? -Oh-ho-ho-ho.

I don't want to ask the guy who looks like

He's on steroids, though.

Yeah, no, no, sal, that's exactly

Who we want you to talk to.

What's up, dude?

I go by flex luther from "mind body swole," my stream.

You look jacked,

And we do a segment called "natty or not."

I was just wondering.

You look swole. Are you natty, or are you not?

yeah.

You're a natty?

That's -- that's the way to do it, king.

"sure, he looks big, but he's got tiny bird balls."

Oh, do not say that. Do not say have him that.

Sal: Yeet, fam. It's time to do "natty or not."

Murr: Sure, he looks big, but he's got tiny bird balls.

Oh, do not say that. Do not have him say that.

Yes.

Sometimes people aren't always honest

About "natty or not."

He's probably pinning some gear to that physique.

Sure, he looks big, but he's got them tiny bird balls.

-oh, my god.

-Yes. -Oh, my god.

Guess what? It's time for my favorite segment,

"fugazi form."

Oh, and sal, use that, uh, tiktok robot voice to, uh,

Scold people how they're doing things wrong.

Yeet. What up, gym fam?

It's your boy flex luther here from "mind body swole,"

And it's time for my segment, "fugazi form."

Woman:Yes, fam, this is the kind of form

That will get you a popped glute and a torn...

Mm-hmm.

"this form is garbage."

This form is straight garbage.

Rizzle me this, gym fam.

What is wrong with this form right here?

5,000 flex luther tokens to the first "mind body swole" soldier

To figure it out.

Look at that. The form right now is...

As you can see, "mind body swole" fam,

The form right here is pure shit.

At this point, there's not one person in here

That doesn't really want to bash me.

Yeah.

Buddy, go over and just take some weight

Off this woman's leg-press machine.

Yeah, tell the fam how important it is

To work within your limitations.

Yes. Work safe.

Remember, gym fam,

It's important to work within our limits.

We want to look out for other gym fam,

Make sure they're not overdoing it.

So it's important to use the right amount of weight.

That's why I think we should just be careful

About the weight we're doing.

Be smart about our workouts.

"mind body swole."

What's that?

sure, I just want -- did you hear?

I was just saying that you should be mindful

And careful with the amount of weight we do

So we don't get injured.

Just fam looking out for fam.

Okay, so you do want that in there?

Okay. Absolutely. No problem.

Get it, gym fam. -Oh-ho-ho! Ho-ho-hi!

Thank you.

Get her to say. "gamblepalace.Net.

Cha-ching."

I also have a deal with gamblepalace.Net.

Oh, sure. Oh, another $0.50 down the drain.

Down the drain.

Just...Cha-ching.

You know what he should do

Is swap her water for a monster load.

Everyone wants a free monster load.

You're going to get him killed.

"I'll throw this water out for you."

That's for you. That's --

I'll throw this one out, and you do the monster load.

That's a good one. That's r-replenishment.

-Oh, buddy.

I think you got to get out of this gym, pal.

That's enough. That's enough.

My monster load.

-I'm with my boy... -Ken.

...Ken, and ken wants to tell you

When you're done with a beast-mode workout,

And you want to get monster gains or punch that protein,

He guzzles a monster load.

Aw, that's crazy.

Beef off a monster load for a beast workout.

Yeah. Thank you brother. I appreciate you.

It's time for the gamble palace segment.

And here is today's gamble palace soldier.

Gamble palace. Cha-ching.

Dot net. Cha-ching yeet!