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1
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,013
Let's just get this started.
2
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,548
Are you kidding me?
3
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,882
Who's a good cat?
4
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:29,762
Today we're posing
as maintenance workers
5
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:33,298
In an office building doing
repairs inside this hvac vent.
6
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,767
That's right,
and the temp worker will
be in the adjacent room,
7
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,702
And the only way
we can communicate with them
8
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,237
Is through a small vent
in the wall.
9
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,106
While "working" in the wall,
we're gonna have to do
10
00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:43,442
And say whatever
the other guys tell us to,
11
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,545
And if you refuse,
you lose.
12
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,585
Sal: Okay,
so murray is in the vent.
13
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,320
We built this whole
entire room out today,
14
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,655
Which is amazing.
15
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,789
Oh, oh, I hear somebody.
16
00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,324
Yeah, if you want to just
grab a spot here.
17
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,458
Sal: Here we go.
18
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,726
Whatever you need.
Sure. Okay.
19
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,662
All right.
Thank you so much.
No worries.
20
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,203
Murr: I don't want to scare you.
I won't be banging long, okay?
21
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,270
Don't worry about me.
22
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,472
oh, no worries.
23
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,473
Yeah, sorry.
We're doing hvac work.
24
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,808
Yeah, you know.
25
00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:18,477
Murr, at some point,
I want you to introduce yourself
26
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,080
And stick your finger through
the vents to shake her hand.
27
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,548
-What's your name?
-Christine.
28
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,884
-Hi. I'm james. How are you?
-I'm good. Thank you.
29
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,419
Here, here, here.
Nice to meet you.
30
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,422
Nice to -- nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
31
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,593
She shook his finger.
32
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,696
All right, murr, lunch is
getting delivered to you.
33
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,697
Surprise.
34
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:39,898
Got an order for james?
35
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,299
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Hi.
36
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,701
$23.92.
37
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,302
Sal: In the vent is how
you're gonna pay for it.
38
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,638
It's a wad of singles in there.
I want you to pay one by one.
39
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,874
Uh, here you go, buddy.
I got, I got...
40
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,381
Yeah, just...
41
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,583
$20.92.
42
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,956
-Uh, 92 cents.
-Okay, hold on.
43
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,392
You got it?
You know what?
Sure.
44
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,361
Hey, thanks, man.
45
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,530
Oh! Tip.
46
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,798
Oh, my god.
I forgot to tip the guy.
47
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,667
Christine, can you do me
a favor real quick?
48
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,602
Can you run, catch him
before he gets to the elevator?
49
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,138
Here, here, here, here,
here, come here, come here.
50
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,940
Here.
Just tip him real quick.
51
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,875
Wait, wait, I got more,
I got -- give him a $5.
52
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,544
Here you go, christine.
53
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,079
Just give him --
there's two more.
54
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,214
There's one.
And then tell him I forgot.
55
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,682
My apologies
forgetting the tip.
56
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:33,952
Did you catch him?
Yeah.
57
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,219
Oh, thank god.
58
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,554
Sal: She hates you.
59
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,092
In a second,
I just want you to go,
60
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,560
"ooh! My soup!"
61
00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,629
Ooh! My soup!
62
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,699
Well, there is a straw.
It could be feasible, murray,
63
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,501
That she could feed you
your own soup
64
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,370
Through that vent
in that straw.
65
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,172
Murr: Oh, hey, christine.
Could I ask a favor?
66
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,974
What?
67
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,242
Uh, could you grab the soup
out of the bag for me,
68
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:58,343
If you don't mind?
69
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,784
Murr: Yeah, you can take it out.
Okay, okay.
70
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,052
Can you just open the lid
for me real quick?
71
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,654
I can't believe
she's doing this.
72
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,055
Oh, you're the best.
73
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,392
Just guide it toward there,
if you don't mind.
74
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,128
mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
mm-hmm.
75
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:18,196
Thank youso much,
christine.
76
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,999
-He got it. He got it.
-I can't believe this.
77
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,535
Oh. Thank you.
That hit the spot.
78
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,537
Thank you, christine.
79
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,605
"I wish I had gotten
something a little less chunky."
80
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,675
Murr: In retrospect, something
less chunky would have been
81
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,477
A better choice, but...
82
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,946
Sal: There's an electric saw
in there.
83
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,747
We're gonna have
you start it.
84
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,682
Ostensibly, you're
going to pierce yourself.
85
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,019
There's a blood dripper
in there.
86
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,255
We want blood to just start
seeping out of the vents.
87
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,361
I want to hear a yelp.
You know, like, "hiiiey!"
88
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,765
Eeeee!
89
00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,238
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
90
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,840
"got any napkins
out there?"
91
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,576
Christine, can I-I bother you
to grab me a couple
92
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,311
Paper towels up there,
if you don't mind?
93
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,246
Ay, I got a little nick.
94
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,116
"you know, I'm in construction
happens all the time, you know?"
95
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:13,652
Start sipping the soup.
Just start sipping the soup.
96
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,120
Let me just get
a little bit more of that chili.
97
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,258
"oh, that's bloody
good soup."
98
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,794
Oh, that's
bloody good soup.
99
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,398
Getting a little hot
in here.
100
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,932
It's getting a little --
oh, god.
101
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:31,736
Oh. I'm sorry.
102
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,538
She's leaving.
She's gone. She's gone.
103
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,207
You know, I should really get
some medical attention
104
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,608
And forget the soup
at this point.
105
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,214
You can grab a spot here.
106
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,415
Make sure there are plenty.
107
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,017
-Thank you.
-Thank you, man.
108
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,686
Murr: Sal, I want you to open
the vent and ask this guy,
109
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,354
"where are you from?"
110
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,829
Oh, where are you from?
111
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,297
He can't find you.
112
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,699
Oh, I'm working over here.
Oh, I'm sorry, man!
113
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,901
How you doing?
Good. How you doing?
114
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,369
You see me staring
at the walls?
115
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,305
-We're working on the hvac.
-Yeah.
116
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:08,373
Yeah.
"oh, man.
117
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:09,974
I'm supposed
to look up a recipe,
118
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,376
But I can't find my phone."
oh, no!
119
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,645
"could you look that up
for me?"
120
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,379
-I'm cooking dinner tonight.
-Oh. That's good.
121
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:16,715
But you know what?
I can't even find my --
122
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,316
I supposed to look
this recipe up. I can't even --
123
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,984
-You can't find your cellphone?
-"do you have your phone?"
124
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,720
Do you have your phone
on you?
Yep.
125
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,187
Can you just look up a recipe
for me real quick?
126
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,389
-Sure.
-Thank you.
127
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:25,857
"it is a cider-braised
pot roast."
128
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,460
Okay, so it's
a cider-braised pot roast.
129
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,395
"with crispy
sage-butter potatoes."
130
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:34,266
It's a cider-braised pot roast
with -- can you put "with"?
131
00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:38,470
With crispy
sage-butter potatoes.
132
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,737
Do you want me
to click on one?
133
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,606
Yeah, which one looks
appetizing to you?
134
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,541
-You like carrots? Onions?
-Yeah!
135
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,877
So I'm gonna go with this one
right here.
136
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,279
Yes, yes, okay.
Yeah.
137
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:48,546
Murr: Go through
the whole recipe.
138
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,682
Okay, so 3 pounds of black angus
choice chuck roast
139
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,817
Is what I gotta pick up then.
140
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,953
That's three sweet onions
thinly sliced,
141
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,821
2 tablespoons
of all-purpose flour,
142
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,423
And then actually
is this turmeric?
143
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,559
2 tablespoons...
144
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,027
3 garlic cloves, minced.
145
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:04,963
Uh-oh!
You broke the vent.
146
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,764
Sal, blame that guy
for the broken vent.
147
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,900
Oh, we gotta be careful there.
We just broke the vent.
148
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,436
Half a butternut squash
instead of one.
149
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,438
And then kosher salt and pepper.
150
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,641
It doesn't give an amount
at all, so I guess I'll do it --
151
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,043
I'll do it to taste.
Okay.
152
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,578
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
You all right?
153
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,846
-Yes, sir. Thank you.
-No problem.
154
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,382
Sal, sal, hit your apple watch
to call your phone.
155
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,184
You know what?
I have my apple watch on me.
156
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,719
oh, it is! It is in there!
157
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,254
-Yeah, it's here. I see it.
-Oh!
158
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:31,923
Thank you so much.
Thank you so, so much.
159
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,660
Oh, sal, only another vent to
lay before you go to thailand.
160
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,529
Getting ready
to take a trip to thailand.
161
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,796
-You going to thailand?
-Yeah.
162
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,732
-Wow.
-It's to help your wife out.
163
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,200
I'm going to help out
my wife.
164
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,267
-Oh. She's there?
-Yeah.
165
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,336
Okay.
You'll get there, man.
166
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,738
Now, buddy,
uh, on your phone,
167
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,473
We loaded some audio.
Hit play.
168
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:50,675
Female voice:
Where is the bathroom?
169
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,277
Sal: I'm trying to learn,
like, um...
170
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,947
Speak the language
a little bit.
Yeah, know the basics.
171
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,416
I'm looking for my wife.She's missing.
172
00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:05,757
I have a gun.
173
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,695
No, thank you.That food looks nasty.
174
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,034
"hey, you piece of shit."
then say, "I have a gun."
175
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,502
hey, you piece of shit.
176
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:23,575
Unhand my wife.
177
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,109
This is your last chance.
Where is the bathroom?
178
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:27,245
Where is the bathroom?
I have a gun.
179
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,784
You gotta call the police.
180
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,919
Sal, do me a favor.
Stick your nose
through the vents.
181
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,588
Get it out there.
Take a big sniff.
182
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,990
what is that?
Ooh! That's a...
183
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,191
Smell the hershey's kisses?
184
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,259
"no, it smells awful.
185
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,794
What is that,
a wet dog or something?"
186
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,263
It smells -- it's...
187
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,735
Yeah!
I smell the hershey from here.
188
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,470
Yeah, the hershey kisses.
189
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,674
q: Oh, buddy.
All that to lose at that?
190
00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,011
Murr:
All right, q-bert.
191
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,413
Hey, just to let you know,
I'm still in here.
192
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,681
Just doing some hvac stuff
in the building.
193
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,217
Gotcha. Okay.
I'm brian, by the way.
194
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:06,550
I'm christine.
Hi, christine.
195
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,752
How are you?
Nice to meet you.
196
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:08,820
"I tell you what,
I feel like the good guy
197
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,088
In that movie 'die hard.'"
198
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,756
It's funny crawling
around in the vents.
199
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,558
I feel like I'm the good guy
in that movie.
200
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,560
Do you ever see "die hard"?
Yeah.
201
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,361
"whoop-de-do,
mother"
202
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,297
Whoop-de-do,
mother
203
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,034
Say, uh,
"you want to hear a secret?"
204
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,702
You want to hear a secret?
205
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,370
Sure.
I love secrets.
206
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,640
Close the vent.
"I'm not telling you."
207
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,575
I'm not telling you.
208
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,178
Just start playing
like a kid.
209
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,213
Come in.
210
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,050
Are you still interested
in hearing that secret?
211
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,718
Yes.
Slam it!
212
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,593
Q, stick your
middle finger through.
213
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,401
-Hey, christine.
-Yeah.
214
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,874
Q, do two middle fingers
and then whip 'em back out.
215
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,012
-Hey, christine.
-Yep.
216
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,617
Sal: Ask her for a pen.
And then when she --
217
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,487
When she hands it to you,
go, "mine, mine.
218
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,955
My treasure, my treasure."
219
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,090
All joking aside,
is there a pen out there?
220
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,291
Do you see a pen?
Yeah, I have a pen.
221
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,625
Oh, can I just...
222
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:22,760
Murr: Oh, she's grabbing
her own pen!
223
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,762
Thank you.
I gotta make a note on the...
224
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:27,365
Thank you. Mine!
225
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,833
My treasures!
226
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,169
You literally are like
a 12-year-old boy.
227
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,439
This is my treasure now.
228
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,043
♪ I'll never give it back ♪
229
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,178
She's taking a video
of you.
230
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,180
♪ this pen's mine forever ♪
231
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,182
♪ treasures in the vent
belong to me ♪
232
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,450
Stick your middle finger
through and pull it out again.
233
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:50,855
Take it out!
234
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,260
Sal: You should try to
squeeze out of there.
235
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,796
Yeah, buddy, your shift's over.
Get out of the vent.
236
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,332
All right, hold on
a second.
237
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,269
Oh, my god.
238
00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:14,048
Yeah, buddy, your shift's over.
Get out of the vent.
239
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:15,583
All right,
hold on a second.
240
00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:20,254
Oh, my god.
241
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,127
Well, now
you have to fix it.
242
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,400
Murr:
Oh, no! Oh, no!
243
00:10:34,537 --> 00:10:36,804
You just look at her
and go, "pew-pew" and
shoot her with a gun.
244
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,673
Pew-pew!
245
00:10:41,077 --> 00:10:43,477
Narrator: Sal couldn't
prevent failure,
246
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,214
So he's first
on the loser board.
247
00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:48,683
Today we are at
tompkins square bagels
taking orders.
248
00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:50,351
When the order is ready,
249
00:10:50,353 --> 00:10:51,952
We'll call out the name
on the ticket,
250
00:10:51,954 --> 00:10:54,022
Except we won't be calling out
the name the customer gave,
251
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:55,824
Because the name or description
we're calling out
252
00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:57,425
Has been written
by the other guys.
253
00:10:57,627 --> 00:10:59,627
So then we'll have to ask
the customer, "so who are you?"
254
00:10:59,829 --> 00:11:02,030
And if they don't repeat back
that ridiculous nickname,
255
00:11:02,232 --> 00:11:03,298
You lose.
256
00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:07,168
All right, sal.
257
00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:08,236
Ooh, this is wild.
258
00:11:08,438 --> 00:11:09,904
It's crazy out there, right?
259
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,506
Let's see how badly
260
00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,174
One of the workers
doesn't want to be bothered.
261
00:11:13,376 --> 00:11:14,842
Okay?
Okay.
262
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,845
Hello? Hello?
263
00:11:17,047 --> 00:11:18,847
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's for you.
264
00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:21,982
Oh, okay.
Murr: He's busy!
265
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,985
-All right, buddy.
-All right.
266
00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:26,254
The woman there
with the headphones in.
267
00:11:26,256 --> 00:11:28,056
Do you see her?
Okay.
268
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:29,590
We got a good one.
269
00:11:33,996 --> 00:11:36,698
-It's gotta be her, right?
-Yeah, it's the only one.
270
00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:39,734
Oh, me.
271
00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:43,604
She's not gonna say
this is her.
272
00:11:43,806 --> 00:11:46,140
Um...
273
00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:51,079
Ra--
274
00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:53,281
Racially ambiguous baddie?
275
00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:56,150
Oh, itmust be her.
276
00:11:56,352 --> 00:11:59,353
Uh, order for
racially ambiguous baddie?
277
00:11:59,555 --> 00:12:02,222
Blueberry bagel?
278
00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:07,828
Racially ambiguous baddie?
279
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,931
So you are
racially ambiguous baddie?
280
00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:13,901
She's gotta say it.
Who are you?
281
00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:17,238
I have
racially ambiguous baddie.
282
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,540
So you are...
283
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:22,176
thank you.
284
00:12:22,378 --> 00:12:25,379
Man, I got anxiety.
285
00:12:25,381 --> 00:12:27,848
So, sal, we're gonna have you
do this guy with the beanie.
286
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:30,118
-Okay.
-All right, buddy.
287
00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:34,188
A classic, a classic.
Uh-huh.
288
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:35,323
Bringin' it back.
289
00:12:35,325 --> 00:12:36,791
Ugh.
290
00:12:36,993 --> 00:12:39,460
Uh, order for
dis bitch gots a hat on.
291
00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:43,264
Ooh, he's stone-faced.
292
00:12:43,466 --> 00:12:46,867
Order for
dis bitch gots a hat on.
293
00:12:47,069 --> 00:12:48,202
he's laughing,
he's laughing.
294
00:12:48,204 --> 00:12:50,338
"do any bitches
got a hat on?"
295
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,874
A plain toasted egg.
Dis bitch gots a hat on.
296
00:12:56,412 --> 00:12:58,412
-Sir?
-I have a toasted bagel and egg.
297
00:12:58,414 --> 00:12:59,347
-Is this you?
-Yeah.
298
00:12:59,549 --> 00:13:01,482
Okay, so you are...
Josh.
299
00:13:01,684 --> 00:13:03,617
But this is for
dis bitch gots a hat on.
300
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:05,219
-I guess, yeah, that's me.
-So you are...
301
00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:06,621
Dis bitch got a hat on.
302
00:13:06,823 --> 00:13:09,023
Yeah.
Thank you.
303
00:13:10,493 --> 00:13:12,327
Good job, buddy.
304
00:13:13,696 --> 00:13:15,163
-Here we go.
-All right.
305
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:17,498
Sal: Okay, babe.
It's the blue-haired lady
306
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,966
Right to your left there,
right at the counter.
307
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:20,134
Murr:
okay.
308
00:13:24,574 --> 00:13:26,174
Are you gonna be
able to pull this one off?
309
00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:29,443
I think so.
Yeah?
310
00:13:29,445 --> 00:13:31,712
Order up.
311
00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,447
oh, his voice is cracking.
312
00:13:33,649 --> 00:13:36,450
Order up for, uh, if a wizard
turned a mop into a person.
313
00:13:39,321 --> 00:13:42,857
Order up for if a wizard
turned a mop into a person.
314
00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:46,594
"gandalf? Dumbledore?"
315
00:13:46,796 --> 00:13:49,998
Dumbledore, gandalf saw a mop --
inanimate --
316
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,068
Turns it, using his wiles,
into a human being.
317
00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:57,205
his wiles!
Using his wiles!
318
00:13:57,407 --> 00:13:59,207
Whose order is that?
It's a pizza bagel.
319
00:13:59,409 --> 00:14:01,876
I ordered a pizza bagel,
so I guess I'm the mop.
You ordered a pizza bagel?
320
00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:05,346
So you must be...
321
00:14:05,548 --> 00:14:07,281
A wizard who turned a mop
into a person?
322
00:14:07,283 --> 00:14:08,883
Got it, got it.
You're the -- okay.
323
00:14:08,885 --> 00:14:10,551
That's for you, then.
There you go.
324
00:14:10,553 --> 00:14:12,953
She's not the wizard.
She's the mop.
325
00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:14,755
Just to be clear, though,
you wouldn't be the wizard.
326
00:14:14,957 --> 00:14:15,956
You would be...
The mop.
327
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:16,957
...The mop.
Yeah.
328
00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:17,958
Not the wizard.
329
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,560
Wow, murray!
She's awesome.
330
00:14:19,762 --> 00:14:20,961
Geez!
She's so fun.
331
00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:23,898
All right, murr, we're gonna
give you another one.
332
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,567
Okay.
We're not gonna
tell you who it's for.
333
00:14:26,769 --> 00:14:28,836
okay. Okay.
And I don't know who it's for?
334
00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:31,505
You just gotta pull it out
and start reading it.
335
00:14:31,507 --> 00:14:33,574
Okay. Okay.
336
00:14:33,576 --> 00:14:37,445
Order for featureless white
overly confident cable persona
337
00:14:37,647 --> 00:14:40,715
Foot-steppin'
farmer-faking,
338
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,850
Soup-slurpin',
fake-teeth-havin',
339
00:14:43,052 --> 00:14:44,985
Lily-white mother,
340
00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:47,988
Threaded eyebrows that only
serve to highlight the emptiness
341
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:50,190
Behind his phony man's eyes.
342
00:14:50,192 --> 00:14:52,059
Oh, it'smy bagel.
343
00:14:54,396 --> 00:14:55,863
I'm on break, bitches.
344
00:14:59,201 --> 00:15:00,400
This is gonna be something.
345
00:15:00,403 --> 00:15:02,270
it's gonna be something.
346
00:15:02,272 --> 00:15:04,538
Sal: Q, you see the blond girl
with the brown jacket?
347
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:07,007
-I do.
-Her food is ready.
348
00:15:09,479 --> 00:15:11,145
Diz--
349
00:15:11,147 --> 00:15:13,080
Uh, the dizzy dame?
350
00:15:14,617 --> 00:15:16,216
An order for the dizzy dame?
351
00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:18,552
You dizzy dame?
No.
352
00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:19,753
What's that say?
353
00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:22,623
It says chicken salad
and onion.
354
00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:24,358
Yeah, it's my order.
The chicken salad.
355
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:25,559
So you are...?
356
00:15:25,761 --> 00:15:26,827
Ellie.
357
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:28,228
Eh, that's not
what I have here.
358
00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,364
I have, uh,
the dizzy dame.
359
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:31,899
Is that you?
No.
360
00:15:31,901 --> 00:15:32,900
Murr:
She's gotta say it.
361
00:15:33,102 --> 00:15:34,568
-But this is your order?
-Yeah.
362
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,036
-So you are...
-You are...
363
00:15:36,038 --> 00:15:37,305
So you are...
364
00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:38,639
Dizzy dame.
365
00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:40,374
-Oh!
-There it is.
366
00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:43,177
Oh, there it is, there it is.
Ellie. I got you right there.
367
00:15:43,179 --> 00:15:45,780
-Okay.
-Nice, bud. You got one.
368
00:15:45,982 --> 00:15:48,316
Murr: All right, q, it's the
gentleman with the brown jacket
369
00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:49,449
And the satchel
over his chest.
370
00:15:49,452 --> 00:15:50,918
Indiana jones?
371
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,388
Here we go.
There's his food.
372
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:55,656
Dud muffin.
373
00:15:57,259 --> 00:15:59,527
I got a bagel
for dud muffin?
374
00:15:59,729 --> 00:16:02,196
he's like, "it's not me.
I ain't no dud."
375
00:16:02,398 --> 00:16:03,797
That's dud muffin?
376
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,265
he said no.
377
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,735
What did you order?
378
00:16:07,737 --> 00:16:09,069
Yeah. Bacon, egg and cheese.
Right.
379
00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:11,139
That's it. That's you.
It says dud muffin.
380
00:16:11,341 --> 00:16:12,272
-Chris?
-No, no, no.
381
00:16:12,474 --> 00:16:14,074
That's the name --
dud muffin.
382
00:16:14,076 --> 00:16:15,275
Okay.
My name's chris.
383
00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:16,276
-This is your order?
-Yeah.
384
00:16:16,278 --> 00:16:17,812
So you must be...?
385
00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:19,947
-Dud muffin?
-There you go.
386
00:16:20,149 --> 00:16:21,281
We got through that
together, buddy.
387
00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:23,283
Here you go, chris.
There's your receipt.
388
00:16:23,485 --> 00:16:26,620
he did not want
to admit he's dud muffin.
389
00:16:26,622 --> 00:16:29,890
Good job, buddy.
We got the next one.
390
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:32,026
Oh, boy.
This guy, the bald guy.
391
00:16:32,228 --> 00:16:33,627
Yeah, I see him.
392
00:16:33,829 --> 00:16:35,896
All right, buddy,
what do you got?
393
00:16:43,506 --> 00:16:45,306
Murr: All right, buddy,
what do you got?
394
00:16:45,508 --> 00:16:48,175
it's gotta be this guy, right?
395
00:16:48,177 --> 00:16:49,510
I-I can't say this.
396
00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:50,711
Yes, you can.
397
00:16:50,713 --> 00:16:52,847
Uh...
398
00:16:52,849 --> 00:16:54,448
Is that eight bagels
and two cream cheese?
399
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,717
Yeah, it's for
the fresh prince of no hair?
400
00:16:56,719 --> 00:16:58,986
That can't be you.
what?
401
00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:01,255
It says
the fresh prince of no hair.
402
00:17:01,257 --> 00:17:02,989
No. That's him.
He's with me.
403
00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:05,326
-Ha!
-He's waving. He just waved, q.
404
00:17:05,528 --> 00:17:07,394
Fresh prince of no hair?
That's him?
405
00:17:07,396 --> 00:17:09,263
It says fresh prince
of no hair.
This is your order?
406
00:17:09,465 --> 00:17:10,998
This is our order, yeah.
407
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,599
So you are...?
408
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:14,401
The fresh prince of no hair,
I guess.
409
00:17:14,603 --> 00:17:16,270
There you go, my friend.
410
00:17:22,144 --> 00:17:24,344
Narrator: Looks like sal made
a name for himself
411
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:27,948
As tonight's big loser.
412
00:17:27,950 --> 00:17:30,217
Hey, sal lost!
That's right, buddy,
413
00:17:30,219 --> 00:17:31,952
Which is why we're here
at the slipper room,
414
00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:34,288
Where a crowd of people
cannot wait to see you perform.
415
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:38,292
Yes. Now, we hired a very,
very talented sword swallower.
416
00:17:38,494 --> 00:17:40,761
And you will also
be doing that.
417
00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:42,629
Okay.
418
00:17:42,831 --> 00:17:44,565
But not just swords.
All types of stuff.
419
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:47,434
That's it. We went real simple
on this one, buddy.
420
00:17:47,436 --> 00:17:48,903
You're just gonna be
making me gag
421
00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:50,704
On large items
all night long.
422
00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:54,709
Murr:
This idea is very simple.
423
00:17:54,911 --> 00:17:56,643
Just make sal choke.
424
00:17:56,645 --> 00:17:57,778
Here we go, buddy.
You're up.
425
00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:59,046
Sal: Oh, my god.
me.
426
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:03,584
We put everything
that we want you to say
427
00:18:03,586 --> 00:18:05,652
On a teleprompter
at the back of the theater.
428
00:18:05,854 --> 00:18:08,655
So all you got to do is worry
about swallowing swords.
Yeah.
429
00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:15,796
There he is.
Look at how handsome he is.
430
00:18:15,798 --> 00:18:17,531
So sal's partner in crime
is gin minsky.
431
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,199
She's the professional
tonight.
432
00:18:19,201 --> 00:18:20,867
She actually knows
what she's doing.
Yeah.
433
00:18:21,069 --> 00:18:23,337
Good eve,
my brothers and sisters.
434
00:18:23,339 --> 00:18:27,274
Thank you so much for joining us
on this beautiful spring night.
435
00:18:27,476 --> 00:18:30,277
We are a real
brother-and-sister duo.
436
00:18:30,279 --> 00:18:33,013
This is gin
and I, eduardo,
437
00:18:33,215 --> 00:18:36,016
And we are about
to take our bodies to the limit.
438
00:18:38,154 --> 00:18:40,421
You know,
as much as I love gin,
439
00:18:40,623 --> 00:18:44,424
I especially love
a gin martini.
440
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,560
Ah, cherry.
441
00:18:46,762 --> 00:18:49,296
Bottoms up.
Cherries down.
442
00:18:49,498 --> 00:18:50,965
All right, here we go.
443
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:52,699
Oh, boy.
444
00:18:52,701 --> 00:18:55,636
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
445
00:18:55,638 --> 00:18:57,904
-Oh, my god!
-Jesus!
446
00:19:00,376 --> 00:19:03,377
Oh, my god.
447
00:19:03,379 --> 00:19:05,846
Oh!
Murr: No!
448
00:19:06,048 --> 00:19:07,648
How'd you do that?!
449
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:10,451
All right, sal, your turn.
450
00:19:10,653 --> 00:19:12,787
Oh, my god.
Really, guys?
451
00:19:12,989 --> 00:19:15,389
-Yeah.
-Okay.
452
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:18,059
here we go.
Sally, just get that cherry.
453
00:19:20,262 --> 00:19:23,798
there you go, sal.
It's a katana blade.
454
00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:25,800
Yeah, that'll help.
455
00:19:26,002 --> 00:19:28,134
Yeah. That's it.
Lube it up.
456
00:19:28,137 --> 00:19:31,271
Oh, my god, sal.
Oh, my god!
457
00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:33,007
It's not gonna --
be careful.
458
00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:35,076
Don't cut yourself.
Don't cut your uvula.
459
00:19:45,621 --> 00:19:50,156
It's so dumb.
It's so stupid.
460
00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:52,959
Come on.
Be a little showman about it.
461
00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:54,561
Yeah. There you go.
There you go.
462
00:19:54,563 --> 00:19:56,497
Play to the audience.
463
00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:58,499
oh, my god, dude.
Oh.
464
00:19:58,701 --> 00:19:59,566
Woman: Oh, my god.
465
00:20:01,237 --> 00:20:03,637
Murr: yeah!
466
00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:08,508
All right.
You're not done, buddy.
467
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:10,444
can't stand it.
Dude! That is...
468
00:20:10,646 --> 00:20:13,513
It hurts so bad.
The sword hurts so bad.
469
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,849
We got the easy one
out of the way.
470
00:20:15,051 --> 00:20:16,650
Act two is
where it really gets hard.
471
00:20:16,652 --> 00:20:19,653
The katana was easy?
The katana blade?
472
00:20:19,855 --> 00:20:23,257
Yeah!
All right, sal, act two!
473
00:20:23,259 --> 00:20:25,059
Act two.
474
00:20:25,061 --> 00:20:26,126
How are we all enjoying
tonight's show?
475
00:20:28,997 --> 00:20:30,931
What?
Who's that in the audience?
476
00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,248
Oh, who's that
in the audience?
477
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:44,319
My father's here?
478
00:20:46,523 --> 00:20:48,323
Murr: He comes to these shows
all the time, yeah.
479
00:20:48,525 --> 00:20:49,990
Hey, dad.
How you doing out there?
480
00:20:49,993 --> 00:20:51,192
Enjoying the show?
481
00:20:51,194 --> 00:20:52,593
Good, good.
482
00:20:52,795 --> 00:20:54,529
Love to have you back here
on "impractical jokers."
483
00:20:54,531 --> 00:20:58,199
Give you another opportunity
to be proud of your son.
484
00:20:58,201 --> 00:20:59,934
That's -- that's my son.
485
00:21:00,937 --> 00:21:02,603
Murr: The woman on fire!
486
00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:07,408
And now I swallow this
wrought-iron pipe.
487
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,480
All right.
Make your dad proud, sal.
488
00:21:13,884 --> 00:21:15,684
Holy...
489
00:21:15,886 --> 00:21:18,019
Oh. It's, like, got ridges.
490
00:21:18,221 --> 00:21:20,555
Oh, it's taller than him.
491
00:21:20,557 --> 00:21:22,023
Here we go.
492
00:21:37,708 --> 00:21:39,173
I'm not proud.
493
00:21:41,444 --> 00:21:43,844
After you've swallowed
a sword,
494
00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:47,515
The only place to go...
Is a saber.
495
00:21:47,717 --> 00:21:49,450
This isn't gonna go well.
496
00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:52,787
Murr: Turn it on.
497
00:21:52,989 --> 00:21:55,656
I want to see the light
in your belly.
498
00:21:55,658 --> 00:21:57,858
From dusk comes dawn.
499
00:21:57,860 --> 00:21:59,994
From darkness comes light.
500
00:22:00,196 --> 00:22:02,463
Let's swallow our sabers
501
00:22:02,465 --> 00:22:05,533
And light up the night.
502
00:22:08,138 --> 00:22:10,671
Oh, my god!
503
00:22:10,873 --> 00:22:13,942
As a wise green man
once said,
504
00:22:14,144 --> 00:22:16,611
"do or do not.
505
00:22:16,613 --> 00:22:18,613
There is no try."
506
00:22:24,755 --> 00:22:26,487
I generally can do this.
507
00:22:26,489 --> 00:22:28,156
Why would you
promise that?
508
00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:35,764
[ scattered
cheers and applause ]
509
00:22:35,966 --> 00:22:39,300
I wonder what's next, sal.
I wonder what's next.
510
00:22:39,702 --> 00:22:41,770
We're going to do
something different,
511
00:22:41,972 --> 00:22:44,038
And I think we're going to see
if someone in the audience
512
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,374
Has something
that you can swallow.
513
00:22:46,576 --> 00:22:47,508
I do.
514
00:22:51,047 --> 00:22:52,580
Murr:
Yeah! All right!
515
00:22:52,782 --> 00:22:53,914
Hello, sir.
516
00:22:53,916 --> 00:22:55,784
Oh.
I happen to have
these sausages.
517
00:23:02,793 --> 00:23:06,460
Sal sr., say, "go ahead.
Swallow that sausage."
518
00:23:06,463 --> 00:23:08,596
The feast of the seven --
go ahead.
Swallow that sausage.
519
00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:11,866
The feast
of the seven sausages.
520
00:23:19,141 --> 00:23:20,408
What even...
521
00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:24,679
That was three.
That's a thick one.
522
00:23:27,684 --> 00:23:29,017
Hungarian kielbasa.
523
00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:39,093
Polish!
524
00:23:41,564 --> 00:23:43,231
What is this
punishment?!
525
00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:44,499
Let's do it!
526
00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:56,711
All right, sal!
Yeah!
527
00:23:56,913 --> 00:23:58,913
And his esophagus,
ladies and gentlemen.
528
00:23:59,115 --> 00:24:01,582
There you go, buddy.
That was terrible.
529
00:24:01,584 --> 00:24:03,417
I really hurt my throat
with that katana blade.
35713
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