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1
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:10,527
[ Laughter ]
2
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:11,862
[ Screams ]
3
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:12,863
♪♪
4
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:14,130
Let's just get this started.
5
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:15,732
Are you [bleep] Kidding me?
6
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:16,733
Who's a good cat?
7
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,602
[ Laughter ]
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,204
[ Cymbals crash ]
9
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,139
♪♪
10
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,075
[ laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
11
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,976
Narrator: With special guest,
Brooke shields.
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00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,612
It's a match made in heaven.
13
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,764
[ Laughter ]
14
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,085
Today, we're fashion designers
teaming up to get feedback
15
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,620
From a group of parents
for our new kids' clothing line.
16
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,022
The catch is each team's
bizarre designs
17
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,424
Have been created
by the other team.
18
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,560
So we won't know what fashions
we're pitching
19
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,762
Until the moment
the kids walk down that runway.
20
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,030
At the end, we'll ask the room
if our clothing line
21
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:49,099
Is ready to hit stores.
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00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:52,302
Whoever gets
the fewest hands raised loses.
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00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,752
[ All snap fingers ]
24
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,643
Murr: Alright, boys,
you are fashion designers.
25
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,778
Looking
at Brian and Sal,
26
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,780
How would you describe
their fashion sense?
27
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,717
I would say you get a really
good star for trying.
28
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:07,784
[ Laughter ]
29
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,453
Sal: Please have a seat.
Please, come on in.
30
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,255
We are designers,
and we're bringing out
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00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,056
A line
of children's clothes.
32
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,191
You guys ready?
- Yeah.
33
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,659
- Go for it.
- Fashion. Here we go. Alright.
34
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,195
Brooke and I have designed
your fashion line.
35
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,997
You have no idea
what it is.
36
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,933
Good luck explaining
and selling this.
37
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,467
See our first model.
38
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This is
what we call rover.
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00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:30,140
[ Laughter ]
40
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:34,611
Okay. This look is fierce
and animalistic, literally,
41
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,147
As each garment
is custom made
42
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:40,883
Using the fur, scale, or feather
of a deceased pet.
43
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,085
Oh, Jesus.
44
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,553
[ laughs ]
45
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,821
Just because
a pet has died
46
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,223
Doesn't mean
you can't take them with you.
47
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,425
It's called taxidermy.
48
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,960
But that's creepy.
That's creepy.
49
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:51,094
This is creepy.
50
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,029
Murr: [ Laughs ]
51
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,965
Taxidermy meets fashion.
52
00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,899
This is
taxidermy meets fashion.
53
00:01:56,983 --> 00:02:01,037
A 40-to 50-pound dog will yield
at least a medium to large hide.
54
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,173
It's fluffy's fur.
55
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,775
Rather than putting
the pet in the ground,
56
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:06,242
She's putting them
near her heart, near herself.
57
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,845
Not a chance in hell.
58
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:12,783
You might find one person
out of 10 million
59
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,452
That might even be
receptive to this idea.
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00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,719
You're not a pet person?
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00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,920
Oh, I am.
That's exactly why.
62
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:19,590
I am a pet person,
and as someone who just
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00:02:19,674 --> 00:02:20,591
Recently lost her pet...
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00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:21,658
You wouldn't wear it?
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00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:22,659
You wouldn't wear it?
Absolutely not.
66
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,661
I would have a picture.
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00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,928
[ laughs ]
68
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,999
We're trying to reinvent
something that has been around.
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00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,549
Don't do it.
Don't.
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00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:32,735
I would not put that
on my child.
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00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,605
Stick to the day job?
This is our day job, Nigel.
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00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,740
This is a bad way
to start, boys.
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00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,609
Alright, let's...
Let's bring on our next model.
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00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,945
This one is called
the sassy priest.
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00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,548
Okay.
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00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,618
Black is always in style.
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00:02:47,702 --> 00:02:49,219
And with
this classic silhouette,
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00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,822
We've just invented
catholic couture.
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00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:54,557
This look is no longer
just for sun days.
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00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,426
This is
an everyday ensemble.
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00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,694
Work it, girl.
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Murr: This is not good fashion,
boys.
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00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,033
- I love the belt.
- Brooke: Ooh, alright.
84
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:06,036
Isn't it great?
This is very fashionable.
85
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,237
Where?
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00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,505
[ Laughter ]
87
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,240
We're trying
to encourage
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00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,509
To be yourself
and represent yourself
89
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,377
And express yourself.
No, no, no, no, no.
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00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,761
[ Both laugh ]
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00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,449
You're trying to sell
a garment to a parent.
92
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,784
You don't even know the child
you're selling it to.
93
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,102
He's mad.
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00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:25,322
Q: Okay.
95
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,256
Murr: [ Laughing ] Oh!
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00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,591
Nigel's got you.
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00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,727
Children don't get introduced
to religion
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Wearing a dress
like that.
99
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,065
Alright. So what we're hearing
is another like, not love.
100
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:36,333
That's pushing it.
101
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,935
You guys are done.
102
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:39,936
How about we do
our last one?
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Q: Our final piece.
Alright.
104
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:42,654
This is little piggy.
105
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,343
There we go.
106
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:48,611
These hoodies
will not only have
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Your little hype beast
looking good,
108
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,749
But they also help fight
childhood obesity
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Through the development
of healthy eating habits.
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00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,353
- Murr: Sal, why are you hiding?
- Brooke: He's hiding his face.
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00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:59,622
Q: Each piggy hoodie
contains a sensor
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00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,158
That would play a warning
to shame the child publicly
113
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,361
Every time they try to eat
between meals,
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00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,647
Making sure
this little piggy has none.
115
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:14,237
[ Pig oinking ]
116
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This is horrifying.
117
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:17,523
No!
118
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,445
No, we don't want them
to be ashamed.
119
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,447
No.
120
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,849
This guy's now mad
and offended.
121
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,852
By show of hands, how many of
you think the clothing line
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00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,671
We just showed you is ready
to pitch to nationwide chains?
123
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,192
By... by show of hands.
124
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,061
And zero votes.
125
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,396
Well done.
Whoo!
126
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,931
Each hand
represents a vote.
127
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,466
I've got two hands, and they're
staying firmly in my pocket.
128
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,736
[ Laughter ]
129
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,086
You never had a shot.
130
00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:49,472
Sal: Look at this.
131
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:52,008
Guys, we have such
a huge advantage over you.
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00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:56,012
Brooke shields is doing
a fashion show challenge.
133
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,213
They might just get
on the wagon
134
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,616
Because she puts such
a stamp of credibility on it.
135
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,951
You got to get this
out of your head.
136
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,685
Okay, you're right. You're
letting shields get in your head.
137
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:03,620
I'm insidious.
138
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:04,887
Yeah, she is.
139
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,424
[ Laughter ]
140
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,026
Hi, guys. How are you?
My name is James.
141
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,762
And of course,
you recognize Brooke shields.
142
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:13,163
Wow, yes.
143
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:16,566
Brooke has a brand-new fashion
line coming out next year.
144
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,435
It's a children's fashion line,
specifically.
145
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,569
With someone
like Brooke shields,
146
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,104
You know
it's going to be great.
147
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,305
Oh, I don't know
about that.
148
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,174
[ Both laugh ]
149
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,443
We've designed their
entire fashion lines.
150
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,846
So this
is the anti-bullying shirt.
151
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,448
Q: Here we go.
152
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:36,319
Small for his age miles used to
be an easy target for bullies,
153
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,854
But not anymore.
154
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,590
If miles senses danger,
155
00:05:39,674 --> 00:05:44,143
He needs only tug on the
all-cotton ripcord like this.
156
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:49,532
[ Laughter ]
157
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,468
Oh, wow.
158
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:55,538
And he becomes too big
to stuff inside a locker.
159
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:58,675
Added benefit,
he floats.
160
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,077
Q: Why does this kid
look so distraught?
161
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,279
[ laughs ]
162
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,214
I mean, it's definitely
giving him confidence.
163
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:07,684
I mean, he's ready.
164
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,752
Sal:
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
165
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,354
Murray,
what's going on?
166
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:14,157
[ Laughter ]
167
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,359
He's batting around.
168
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,429
[ Laughter ]
169
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,164
It's his first
fashion show.
170
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,500
You can go back here.
- Definitely does its job.
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00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:24,967
Q: Start getting annoyed
at the model
172
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,503
For not being
vibrant enough.
173
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,238
Can you just show
a little more happiness?
174
00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,972
Yeah.
Little smile.
175
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,107
Have a good time.
176
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,909
Can you just dab?
177
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,844
There we go.
178
00:06:33,928 --> 00:06:35,245
[ Laughter ]
179
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:36,795
Do you like it?
I like it.
180
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,516
Sal: I mean, what are you
talking about?
181
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,319
It's a life vest underneath
a button-down.
182
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,588
Next, this is
the j.R. Luggage.
183
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:46,990
Q: Here it comes.
184
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,791
Murr: There we go.
185
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,127
Okay.
186
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,196
Put your seats
in the upright position
187
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,665
Because Giovanna
is coming in for a landing,
188
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,870
Being wheeled around in this
sleek, modern, wearable luggage.
189
00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:01,738
[ Laughter ]
190
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,273
Put her under the seat,
buckle her in.
191
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,942
Or just put her underneath,
and then this way she can sleep.
192
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,610
It's like having
a reclining seat.
193
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:09,212
That doesn't fit
underneath.
194
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,748
Is it comfortable
in there?
195
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:12,683
Murr, "louder."
196
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:14,484
Louder.
197
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:15,418
Good.
198
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,086
[ Laughter ]
199
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,821
Can you give us a dab?
200
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,507
[ Laughter ]
201
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,228
She's like... like...
202
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,162
[ laughing ]
203
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,164
You like it, right?
204
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,165
Yeah.
205
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,433
Okay, great.
206
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,235
Q: It's luggage
with a hole in it.
207
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,370
I think they're just
being nice to Brooke.
208
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:34,637
I'm telling you,
we still got this.
209
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,038
The last one's hard.
210
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,242
Okay, this next one
is kids anon.
211
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,894
[ Laughter ]
212
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,447
Sal: Oh, my god.
213
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:45,531
Q: You thought
you had it.
214
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:50,654
Brooke: Okay, this next one
is kids anon.
215
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,722
♪♪
216
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,324
[ Laughter ]
217
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:56,860
Summer is around
the corner,
218
00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:00,012
And intense patriotism
is in this season.
219
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,933
Say goodbye to that stuffy,
elitist, preppy look
220
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,336
And hello
to populist whimsy.
221
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,738
Populist whimsy.
Populist whimsy.
222
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,273
This is... this is part
of the product line.
223
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,542
We think kids will love
being a little version
224
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,693
Of the qanon shaman.
225
00:08:17,298 --> 00:08:18,548
I don't agree
with his politics.
226
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,550
Yeah, I don't either.
But I agree with the fashion.
227
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:21,618
[ Laughter ]
228
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,752
Q: Dab.
229
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,087
Dab. Dab.
Dab.
230
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,555
No, no, no, no, no!
Do a dab!
231
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:26,756
Goddamn these kids.
232
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,028
[ Laughter ]
233
00:08:31,112 --> 00:08:32,495
What does it take
to get a dab?
234
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,897
See, look at that.
And look.
235
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,965
All of us, ready, dab.
236
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,902
They're all dabbing.
They're all dabbing.
237
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,637
So how many of you
by show of hands think
238
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:44,423
That Brooke's fashion line
is ready to go to market?
239
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,644
Oh, no one?
240
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,579
Q: What'd I tell you?
What'd I tell you?
241
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:50,513
Oh, my god!
Yes!
242
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,197
Was it the kid
in the luggage?
243
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,718
That was it.
It was the kid in the luggage.
244
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,454
[ Laughter ]
245
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,922
Narrator: Murr, Q, and Sal
couldn't make it
246
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,057
Down this catwalk,
247
00:09:00,141 --> 00:09:03,260
Putting them all
on the loser board.
248
00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:04,527
All: Alright!
249
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,263
Alright.
So we have a three-way tie.
250
00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:07,931
So we designed the ultimate
dating game
251
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,799
Hosted by
the lovely Brooke shields.
252
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,534
Now, normally, we'd be trying
our best to win
253
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,536
Over the bachelorette,
but in this dating game,
254
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,539
We'll be trying to be the
worst bachelors of all time.
255
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,075
Yep,
because if you get chosen,
256
00:09:18,159 --> 00:09:19,676
You are the one
getting punished.
257
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,010
At the end,
258
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,946
You're gonna have to reject
the bachelorette.
259
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,282
And when you reject
the bachelorette,
260
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:26,750
I'll have something
to say about it.
261
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,200
[ Laughter ]
262
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,422
Sal: Alright.
Here we go.
263
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,424
So the deal here is we're
intentionally saying
264
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:36,159
The absolute worst answers
265
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,295
Because we do not
want to get picked. Right?
266
00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:40,297
Whoever gives the least
offensive answer
267
00:09:40,381 --> 00:09:42,432
Is the one
that's going to lose.
268
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,567
I am not getting picked.
269
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,636
By the way, we have
all the writers back here
270
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,238
And just eating cake,
full cake.
271
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,974
We like to watch
when they're not here.
272
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,977
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to "Brooke of love."
273
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,780
[ Cheers and applause ]
274
00:09:56,864 --> 00:10:00,383
Please welcome
our three bachelors
275
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,986
And our host, Brooke shields!
276
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,388
[ Cheers and applause ]
277
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,257
Welcome to "Brooke of love."
278
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,728
And in a moment, one lovely
bachelorette will interview
279
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,530
Three eligible bachelors.
280
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,665
Our bachelorette
will have to decide
281
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:19,536
Which lucky bachelor
gets to accompany her on a date.
282
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:22,739
Please give it up
for Ashley Lisa.
283
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,409
[ Cheers and applause ]
284
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,677
Thank you.
285
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,078
Thank you
so much for being here.
286
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,281
So why don't you just tell us
a little bit about yourself?
287
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:35,218
So I'm an accountant
and I'm very into fitness.
288
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,419
And this past year,
289
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:39,022
I trained for modeling
for this competition.
290
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,223
Absolutely amazing.
Murr, she's a model.
291
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,424
And it was a journey.
292
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,693
I think you should win
first place every single time.
293
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,094
Oh, you're so sweet.
294
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:48,832
Now it is the time for you
to meet our mystery men.
295
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:49,967
Take it away.
296
00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:52,451
Bachelor number one,
describe our first kiss.
297
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,422
Murr: Uh...
298
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,124
Pass.
299
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,312
Okay.
Okay.
300
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,381
Did he say "pass"?
301
00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:06,315
Son of a bitch.
302
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,051
Okay. Why don't we
continue with the questions?
303
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,386
Okay. Absolutely.
304
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:13,256
Bachelor number three,
describe our first kiss.
305
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,924
Q: The first kiss is yours.
306
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,393
Daddy's gonna take care
of everything
307
00:11:16,477 --> 00:11:18,310
When it comes
to that kiss.
308
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,664
Okay.
309
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:22,665
Do you have
any thoughts?
310
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:25,134
Just that it's magical,
I hope.
311
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,670
You're done.
312
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:29,272
Brooke: Continue. Bachelor
number two, same question.
313
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,591
Sure. First,
I would caress your insane bod.
314
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,145
A little about me,
I'm a dude-bro,
315
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,947
And I just work
on my fitness as well,
316
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,417
So I guess, yeah, I'd start
by caressing your insane bod
317
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:43,353
And then eventually ask
for permission to kiss you.
318
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:45,088
[ Laughter ]
319
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:48,091
Dude-bro turns valley girl
is the best turn in history.
320
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,960
That's polite.
That's a gentleman. That's nice.
321
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,295
I wanted to be creepy.
322
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,496
Sweet. It is sweet.
323
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:57,567
Okay. Bachelor number one,
I just had a bad day.
324
00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,569
How do you help me
de-stress?
325
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,420
Uh...
326
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,708
I would tickle you
endlessly.
327
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,460
And then we would
go donate blood.
328
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:11,180
[ Laughter ]
329
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,382
You're answering
like you're a psychopath.
330
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,118
I am. Look at me.
331
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,653
I do like to laugh.
Yeah.
332
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,588
And I mean, you know, and then
you're doing a good thing
333
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,457
For people
in need.
334
00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:22,859
Damn it, Brooke.
335
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,794
Bachelor number two,
336
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:28,197
If you were to write me a poem,
what would you say?
337
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,133
Sal: If you don't mind,
I'd like to do my poem
338
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,935
In the way of a freestyle.
339
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,871
That's exciting.
Yes.
340
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:38,407
[ Rapping ] ♪ Yo, step to me and
I'll kill your whole family ♪
341
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,544
♪ I'm a Don in the streets,
the cops can't handle me ♪
342
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,012
♪ if you pick me,
I'll say the rosary ♪
343
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,081
♪ and thank the lord ♪
344
00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:45,282
♪ punk bitches
who stepped off ♪
345
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,466
♪ gon' get sent to the morgue ♪
346
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:52,021
I grew up
with gangster rap.
347
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,092
Okay, so which lines
resonated the most with you?
348
00:12:55,176 --> 00:12:56,960
What was the first line?
He'd come close to me.
349
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,628
Step to me,
I'll kill your whole family.
350
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:00,029
Just step to me.
Just step to me.
351
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,565
[ Laughter ]
352
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,902
Bachelor number three,
do you plan on having kids?
353
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,105
Q: Well, according
to the courts of Florida,
354
00:13:08,189 --> 00:13:11,841
I already have three
running around down there.
355
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,643
But I'm looking forward
to having a child
356
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:15,712
That I have
a relationship with, so, yeah.
357
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,046
Love it.
358
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,182
Okay.
359
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,518
Well, that... that's...
He's virile.
360
00:13:21,602 --> 00:13:23,252
Game's getting tense.
361
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:27,590
Bachelor number one,
do you plan on having kids?
362
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:30,275
Do I plan on having kids
do what?
363
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,729
Like,
do you want kids?
364
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,664
Oh, do I want
to have kids?
365
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,599
Yes. Oh, now I
understand the question.
366
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,201
No.
367
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,136
[ laughs ] Okay.
368
00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:40,937
Wow.
Do you want to have children?
369
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,340
I do. I do.
I do want a family.
370
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:46,543
I do want to get married
and have a family and...
371
00:13:46,627 --> 00:13:48,611
I'm losing, m...
[ Bell rings ]
372
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:53,150
Oh, wait, that sound means
that it's the end of round one.
373
00:13:53,234 --> 00:13:56,219
Our contestant will select
one bachelor to eliminate.
374
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,354
Who's...
Who's it gonna be?
375
00:13:57,438 --> 00:13:59,956
Oh, it's got to be you.
You're a [bleep]
376
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,692
You sound like a murderer.
377
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:04,227
Um...
378
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,095
I'm going to eliminate...
379
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:11,234
♪♪
380
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,351
Brooke: Ooh, ouch.
381
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:18,040
Our contestant will select
one bachelor to eliminate.
382
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:21,511
Ashley Lisa,
who's it gonna be and why?
383
00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:23,179
Um...
384
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,915
I'm going to eliminate...
385
00:14:24,999 --> 00:14:27,918
♪♪
386
00:14:28,002 --> 00:14:30,520
Bachelor number one.
387
00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:33,123
And it's because
you don't want to have kids
388
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,591
And I don't think
I'm your type.
389
00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,259
[ Ding! ]
Ouch.
390
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,660
Wow.
391
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,996
[ Applause ]
392
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,465
♪♪
393
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,800
That's what
I'm talking about.
394
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,136
It is time for round two,
395
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,538
And there
are only two bachelors left.
396
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:52,542
The bachelorette is gorgeous,
by the way, guys.
397
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,010
Remember,
whoever gets chosen
398
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,947
Has to tell this girl
she's not worthy of him.
399
00:14:57,031 --> 00:14:59,215
Bachelor number three,
400
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,818
What will our first fight
be about?
401
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,220
Q: It's probably gonna be
about what you're wearing.
402
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,889
[ Laughter ]
403
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,627
Okay. Is there certain things
you do or do not like?
404
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,228
Q: Uh...
405
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,965
I know what I don't like
when I see it, you know?
406
00:15:15,049 --> 00:15:17,968
- Okay.
- Oh!
407
00:15:18,052 --> 00:15:19,702
Murr: Brutal.
408
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,572
Oh, I'm getting nervous
for the guy who wins
409
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:24,574
That has to reject her.
410
00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:28,244
Ashley Lisa: So both bachelors,
bachelor number three first,
411
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,913
How large
and in charge are you?
412
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:34,384
Q: Well, I'm not as large
as I used to be.
413
00:15:34,468 --> 00:15:37,187
Murr: [ Laughs ]
414
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:41,057
And I've never really been
in charge of anything,
415
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,060
So I guess
that's my answer, yeah.
416
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,529
[ laughs ] Oh.
417
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:50,133
Okay.
Bachelor number two.
418
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:53,069
Sal: I've been told
I'm way too large.
419
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,537
Murr: [ Laughs ]
420
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:57,007
Sal: And as far as in charge,
call me Charles.
421
00:15:57,091 --> 00:16:00,076
[ Laughter ]
422
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,812
Murr: Oh, it's neck and neck,
boys.
423
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:03,946
Look at the hatred
between their eyes.
424
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:05,081
[ Bell rings ]
425
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,950
Oh, we have to eliminate
another bachelor.
426
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,153
Oh, boys, this is it.
427
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,288
I'm on the fence.
428
00:16:11,372 --> 00:16:13,423
I don't want to do it.
429
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:15,225
Brooke: Ashley Lisa,
430
00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:19,630
Which one of these two men
are you bidding adieu?
431
00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:21,898
- Um...
- Murr: Ready? Whoever wins
432
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:25,168
Has to reject her
on television.
433
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,037
Bachelor number three.
434
00:16:27,121 --> 00:16:29,306
Murr: Ohh!
435
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:30,573
Oh!
436
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,575
Sal!
437
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,511
Now it's time
for the real punishment.
438
00:16:34,595 --> 00:16:37,463
Sal's got to reject
this poor woman on TV.
439
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,383
Hey, I'm [bleep] Nervous.
440
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,452
Q: Oh, my god, Sal.
441
00:16:42,536 --> 00:16:44,321
Dude, I'm so happy that's
you down there and not me.
442
00:16:44,405 --> 00:16:47,858
I genuinely thought...
I genuinely thought
443
00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:50,193
You were gonna
get picked.
444
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,728
You don't know how hard
this is gonna be.
445
00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:53,063
Ugh.
446
00:16:53,147 --> 00:16:54,197
[ Applause ]
Alright.
447
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:55,465
Here we go!
448
00:16:55,549 --> 00:16:57,333
[Bleep]
449
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,336
It's finally time
to meet the man
450
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,673
You'll be going
on a date with tonight.
451
00:17:02,757 --> 00:17:05,341
Please reveal
our winning bachelor.
452
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,809
She's not your type,
bud.
453
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,279
Here we go.
[ Laughs ]
454
00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:11,263
Here we go.
455
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,884
[ Cheers and applause ]
456
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:16,486
Oh,
pleasant-looking man.
457
00:17:16,570 --> 00:17:19,089
[ Applause ]
458
00:17:19,173 --> 00:17:21,091
Okay. We have to take
a very short break,
459
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:24,761
But when we come back,
we'll see if we have a match.
460
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:25,896
Murr: Oh, no.
461
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,630
Alright, Sal.
Here we go.
462
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,433
Uh-oh, Sal,
you're repulsed by her.
463
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,035
[ Applause ]
464
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,438
Brooke: Yeah, alright.
Thank you.
465
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,840
Murr: Okay, Sal,
time to start the rejection.
466
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:38,641
[ Exhales sharply ]
467
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,176
How you doing?
Hi. How are you?
468
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,177
Hi. Good.
469
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,579
Thanks for picking me.
470
00:17:42,663 --> 00:17:44,447
Oh, no.
471
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,249
[ Clears throat ]
Man: Alright, and let's...
472
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,517
But before we start...
473
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:50,320
Before we start,
can I ask a couple of questions?
474
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,255
Q: Oh, my god.
475
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,189
I'm just
a little nervous.
476
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,791
Um...
477
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:56,259
I... if I don't...
If I don't...
478
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:59,195
If I don't want
to do it...
479
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,397
Can I not do it?
480
00:18:00,481 --> 00:18:02,065
What?
481
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,466
[ Groans ]
482
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,136
If I, like...
If... right, like, uh...
483
00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:07,537
[ sighs ] Uh...
484
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:09,272
Murr: "you're not my type."
485
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,808
She's not my type,
exactly.
486
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:14,827
[ Laughter ]
487
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:19,398
Q: Oh!
This is gonna be hard.
488
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,919
- Q: Alright, Sal.
- Murr: Here it goes.
489
00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:24,721
She's not your type,
bud.
490
00:18:24,805 --> 00:18:26,322
Before we start...
Before we start,
491
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,459
If I don't... if I don't want
to do it...
492
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:30,793
Can I not do it?
493
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,662
- What?
- Oh!
494
00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:34,264
She's not my type,
exactly.
495
00:18:34,348 --> 00:18:36,666
Are you kidding me?
496
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,334
No, no, no.
I'm just trying to be honest,
497
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,137
Because it's...
I just want to know if, like...
498
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,405
Did they not...
...If they could sub...
499
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:46,743
Like, I can give her
to the bachelor one or three.
500
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:47,744
Oh.
501
00:18:47,828 --> 00:18:48,945
I'm sorry.
Did you just say
502
00:18:49,029 --> 00:18:51,281
That you could give her,
like... like trade-in?
503
00:18:51,365 --> 00:18:53,083
No, no. You know what I mean.
I won her.
504
00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:54,685
I mean,
I won the contest.
505
00:18:54,769 --> 00:18:56,086
Q: Sal.
506
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:57,420
Oh, my god.
507
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,689
I don't mean it
in any way.
508
00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:00,223
I know she's...
She's very beautiful.
509
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:01,758
I don't mean it like that.
I just...
510
00:19:01,842 --> 00:19:05,027
I just have a very specific type
and she ain't it, you know?
511
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,230
[ Laughter ]
512
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,965
Oh.
513
00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:10,300
I'm just saying,
if I won her, I should...
514
00:19:10,384 --> 00:19:11,768
I... stop talking.
515
00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:15,772
[ Laughter ]
516
00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:16,573
[ Exhales sharply ]
517
00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:18,308
Man: Here we go.
3, 2, 1.
518
00:19:18,392 --> 00:19:19,242
[ Sighs ]
519
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:23,246
[ Applause ]
520
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,915
Well, welcome back.
521
00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:28,985
And it is time to check in with
our bachelor and bachelorette
522
00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:31,588
And see
if it's a match made in heaven.
523
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,055
Q: Oh, go ahead, Sal.
It's not...
524
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,791
It's not
a match in heaven at all.
525
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,326
I know we're on air,
but it's not a match.
526
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,794
I just don't want...
Can we just yell cut?
527
00:19:37,878 --> 00:19:40,130
Because I... I don't want
to go through with it
528
00:19:40,214 --> 00:19:41,531
Because I'm not...
It's "Brooke of love."
529
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:42,933
I'm not gonna love her.
She's not my type, you know?
530
00:19:43,017 --> 00:19:44,134
Q: Alright, Brooke,
time to unleash!
531
00:19:44,218 --> 00:19:45,736
Have you looked
at yourself lately?
532
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:46,869
Oh!
533
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,871
I-I-I...
I'm just saying...
534
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,541
What's up with the with
the wolf man Jack hairdo?
535
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,343
[ Laughter ]
536
00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:55,211
Q: We didn't tell Brooke
to say that!
537
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,413
[ Laughs ]
538
00:19:56,497 --> 00:19:58,281
I don't get it.
Yeah, I-I...
539
00:19:58,365 --> 00:19:59,682
I just... I don't know
what you're trying to do.
540
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,685
I have a very
specific type.
541
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,021
Oh, that... well, you look like
you can be really picky.
542
00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:07,023
[ Laughter ]
543
00:20:07,107 --> 00:20:08,759
I'm gonna make it about me
right now, okay?
544
00:20:08,843 --> 00:20:09,892
I am Brooke shields,
545
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,162
And I'm gonna tell you
to go [bleep] Yourself.
546
00:20:12,246 --> 00:20:17,182
[ Cheers and applause,
jokers laughing ]
547
00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:21,438
Can we finish the... no, I don't
want to hear another [bleep] Word
548
00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:22,639
Out of your mouth,
and I'm not...
549
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,175
I am not kidding.
Get off the heart.
550
00:20:25,259 --> 00:20:27,226
[ Laughter ]
551
00:20:31,065 --> 00:20:33,450
How do you...
Don't...
552
00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:34,785
I...
I just want to go back.
553
00:20:34,869 --> 00:20:36,587
I'll go back.
554
00:20:36,671 --> 00:20:40,190
Do... hey, dick less.
555
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:42,659
Find another exit
and find it fast.
556
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,061
But it's "Brooke of love."
it's not now.
557
00:20:45,145 --> 00:20:47,063
[ Laughter ]
558
00:20:47,147 --> 00:20:49,199
Don't break my set,
[bleep] Face.
559
00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:50,667
Get the [bleep]
Out of here.
560
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:53,936
[ Laughter ]
561
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,406
We still see you,
[bleep]
562
00:20:56,490 --> 00:21:00,611
[ Cheers and applause ]
563
00:21:00,695 --> 00:21:02,865
Q: Holy crap.
That was amazing.
39473
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