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1
00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:12,670
Hey, Beavis.
2
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:18,230
It's like I already know how to drive,
so it's like I don't really need to take
3
00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,230
this class.
4
00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:20,350
Yeah, me too.
5
00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:22,070
I've driven before.
6
00:00:22,510 --> 00:00:24,010
No, you haven't, Beavis.
7
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,370
You drove bumper cars that one time.
8
00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:30,190
You got stuck in the corner.
9
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,910
Everyone was kicking your ass.
10
00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:35,070
Even that little girl.
11
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:37,830
Shut up, buddy.
12
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,920
I drove a real car once. You weren't
there.
13
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,600
Somewhere else.
14
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:43,620
It was cool.
15
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,260
Permission slip and birth certificates.
16
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:54,920
Let's see them. Move it. Move it.
17
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,780
What are you staring at, butthead?
18
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,300
You waiting for a playful pat on the
butt? Move it!
19
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,580
This is gonna be cool.
20
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,920
Uh... Oh, no.
21
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:31,140
Yeah. This isn't very good, but it...
Thank you, Beaver.
22
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,140
Like I couldn't have figured that out
myself.
23
00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:41,179
Anytime. Boy.
24
00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,280
This really isn't very good.
25
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,259
Yeah, yeah.
26
00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:48,580
I know that, but it... Tell me something
I don't know.
27
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,940
Uh, okay.
28
00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:53,940
You know the last time you went to the
bathroom?
29
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,920
Yeah. I hawked a loogie in your Coke.
30
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,300
And you drank it.
31
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,120
It was cool.
32
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,080
I knew that.
33
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,160
I spit it out.
34
00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:09,340
No, you didn't.
35
00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:11,540
You drank it.
36
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,160
Shut up about it.
37
00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,980
I took a dump on a cracker you were
eating one time.
38
00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:18,140
Yeah, I remember that.
39
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:19,880
But I didn't need it.
40
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,040
Yeah, but it was cool.
41
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,920
You ate the cracker? Yeah.
42
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,260
I took the turd off and finished the
cracker.
43
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,440
Well, what?
44
00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:37,220
By the way, this video really sucks,
Viva. Yeah, really.
45
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,280
Tell me something I don't... I mean...
Yeah, that sucks.
46
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:52,120
I can't get a girl cause I ain't got a
car.
47
00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:54,080
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, really.
48
00:02:54,600 --> 00:03:00,100
I can't get a car cause I ain't got a
job. Yeah, really. Yeah.
49
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,339
Me neither.
50
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:02,340
Me neither.
51
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,160
Oh, I can't get a job cause I ain't got
a car.
52
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,060
Yeah. Yeah, really.
53
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,440
Life sucks.
54
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,080
I'm looking for a girl with a job and a
car.
55
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,880
Whoa. Find a girl with a job and a car.
56
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,340
That's a good idea.
57
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,880
Okay, really smart.
58
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:27,180
Yeah, like he figures out what his
problems are, and he like figures out,
59
00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:28,360
know, like what to do about it.
60
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,400
I can't go to school because I ain't got
a gun.
61
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,040
Reach on, Brother Cooper.
62
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,740
I know that's right.
63
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:48,060
I ain't got a gun because I ain't got a
job. I heard that. I
64
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:53,440
ain't got a job because I can't go to
school.
65
00:03:55,860 --> 00:04:02,120
So I'm looking for a girl with a gun and
a job and a house
66
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,560
with a table.
67
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:05,260
He doesn't get tables.
68
00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:06,990
Don't you know what you are?
69
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,550
What a dumbass.
70
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:13,530
You don't have cable. You might as well
just, like, you know, like, go to school
71
00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:14,329
or something.
72
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,149
You can't go to school, Beavis.
Remember?
73
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:20,010
He doesn't have a job. He doesn't have a
girl or a car or cable.
74
00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:22,910
He doesn't have cable? No way. He's like
a rock star.
75
00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:25,530
Not all rock stars have cable.
76
00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:32,610
Uh... Uh... Uh...
77
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,100
Shut the hell up!
78
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:45,700
Now, welcome to Driver's Ed. I'm
required to tell you that the film we
79
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:49,560
to see contains actual footage of
gruesome car crashes.
80
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,680
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
81
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:53,880
Multiple car playoffs.
82
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,780
Car crashes rule.
83
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:02,780
It's nothing I haven't seen, but it may
be too much for some of you delicate
84
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:08,240
types. Now, no one's gonna think you're
a panty waste if you can't take it, but
85
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:13,420
if you can't, I suggest you get your
pathetic, weak -willed little butt out
86
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:14,199
here now!
87
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,000
You have five seconds!
88
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:20,980
It's like I have a wuss.
89
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,400
It's a panty wuss.
90
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:25,960
Shut up! Light!
91
00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:44,280
That movie is old.
92
00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:45,540
Yeah.
93
00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,620
This is from back when people were
stupid.
94
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:56,780
Quiet! Most young people are
conscientious citizens who drive
95
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,080
obey all the applicable traffic laws.
96
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,080
Look, he's flipping him off.
97
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,900
Shut up!
98
00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:08,200
But there's always going to be one or
two bad apples in the bunch.
99
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,440
Those guys are cool.
100
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:21,920
A midnight encounter with a drunken
wombat leads Butthead to
101
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,760
consider zoology. Stay tuned.
102
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:35,200
These two boys, let's call them Vinnie
and Frankie, think they're cool.
103
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:40,450
All their friends think they're cool,
but unsafe driving is never cool.
104
00:06:40,910 --> 00:06:43,650
Let's cruise, Frankie. Hey, cool.
105
00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:51,370
Hey.
106
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,920
Hang a Louie, Frankie.
107
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,740
He's a loogie.
108
00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:29,140
Louie, Frankie, Louie. Wait.
109
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,940
First I got a signal.
110
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,960
Don't be a square, Frankie. Just hang
it. All right, Weisenheimer.
111
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:54,500
Whoa, his brain fell out.
112
00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:00,020
This is your brain. This is your brain
on the street. Any questions?
113
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,560
Oh, cool.
114
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:12,960
Delia? Oh, Delia, Delia all my life.
115
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,020
Who is this dude?
116
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,440
He looks familiar.
117
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,320
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's, um, what's his
name?
118
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,020
Captain Kangaroo.
119
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,060
Captain what?
120
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,040
You know, Captain Kangaroo.
121
00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:33,380
You know, Mr. Green Jeans and Magic
Drawing Board. You know. And I met Delia
122
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,380
there.
123
00:08:35,069 --> 00:08:37,650
Found her in her parlor.
124
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:40,230
What kind of music is this?
125
00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:46,050
I think this is like some kind of
gangsta rap. Oh, yeah.
126
00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:52,790
I bet this dude scores a lot because,
like, he wears black.
127
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:54,130
Yeah, yeah.
128
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:55,450
Plus he's old.
129
00:08:55,970 --> 00:09:01,110
Kind of people make me want to grab my
submachine.
130
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,600
Whoa, hey, that was pretty violent.
131
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,020
Yeah.
132
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:07,060
Enough is enough.
133
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:11,220
Whoa.
134
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:18,180
He shouldn't have shot that chick. She's
pretty hot.
135
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,400
Yeah, really.
136
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:22,460
I would have taken her off his hand.
137
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,600
Yeah, you know what he should have done?
He should have, like, fired some
138
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,720
warning shots up in the air.
139
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,360
That would have scared her away.
140
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:30,930
And then, like, score.
141
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:35,770
I guess if a chick has to choose
between, like, dying or, like, doing it
142
00:09:35,770 --> 00:09:38,710
you, you might actually have a chance of
scoring, Viva.
143
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,790
That's why I was suggesting it.
144
00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,890
All right, butthead, now pay attention.
145
00:09:56,190 --> 00:10:00,810
Just release the brake and press gently
on the accelerator.
146
00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:04,190
Dumbass. Drive, drive.
147
00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:10,990
Butthead, what is your problem? Apply
gentle pressure to the accelerator.
148
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,130
Do it now.
10061
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