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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:12,670 Hey, Beavis. 2 00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:18,230 It's like I already know how to drive, so it's like I don't really need to take 3 00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,230 this class. 4 00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:20,350 Yeah, me too. 5 00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:22,070 I've driven before. 6 00:00:22,510 --> 00:00:24,010 No, you haven't, Beavis. 7 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,370 You drove bumper cars that one time. 8 00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:30,190 You got stuck in the corner. 9 00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,910 Everyone was kicking your ass. 10 00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:35,070 Even that little girl. 11 00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:37,830 Shut up, buddy. 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,920 I drove a real car once. You weren't there. 13 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,600 Somewhere else. 14 00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:43,620 It was cool. 15 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,260 Permission slip and birth certificates. 16 00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:54,920 Let's see them. Move it. Move it. 17 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,780 What are you staring at, butthead? 18 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,300 You waiting for a playful pat on the butt? Move it! 19 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,580 This is gonna be cool. 20 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,920 Uh... Oh, no. 21 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:31,140 Yeah. This isn't very good, but it... Thank you, Beaver. 22 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,140 Like I couldn't have figured that out myself. 23 00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:41,179 Anytime. Boy. 24 00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,280 This really isn't very good. 25 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,259 Yeah, yeah. 26 00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:48,580 I know that, but it... Tell me something I don't know. 27 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,940 Uh, okay. 28 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:53,940 You know the last time you went to the bathroom? 29 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,920 Yeah. I hawked a loogie in your Coke. 30 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,300 And you drank it. 31 00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,120 It was cool. 32 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,080 I knew that. 33 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,160 I spit it out. 34 00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:09,340 No, you didn't. 35 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:11,540 You drank it. 36 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,160 Shut up about it. 37 00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,980 I took a dump on a cracker you were eating one time. 38 00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:18,140 Yeah, I remember that. 39 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:19,880 But I didn't need it. 40 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,040 Yeah, but it was cool. 41 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,920 You ate the cracker? Yeah. 42 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,260 I took the turd off and finished the cracker. 43 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,440 Well, what? 44 00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:37,220 By the way, this video really sucks, Viva. Yeah, really. 45 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,280 Tell me something I don't... I mean... Yeah, that sucks. 46 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:52,120 I can't get a girl cause I ain't got a car. 47 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:54,080 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, really. 48 00:02:54,600 --> 00:03:00,100 I can't get a car cause I ain't got a job. Yeah, really. Yeah. 49 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,339 Me neither. 50 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:02,340 Me neither. 51 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,160 Oh, I can't get a job cause I ain't got a car. 52 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,060 Yeah. Yeah, really. 53 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,440 Life sucks. 54 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,080 I'm looking for a girl with a job and a car. 55 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,880 Whoa. Find a girl with a job and a car. 56 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,340 That's a good idea. 57 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,880 Okay, really smart. 58 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:27,180 Yeah, like he figures out what his problems are, and he like figures out, 59 00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:28,360 know, like what to do about it. 60 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,400 I can't go to school because I ain't got a gun. 61 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,040 Reach on, Brother Cooper. 62 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,740 I know that's right. 63 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:48,060 I ain't got a gun because I ain't got a job. I heard that. I 64 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:53,440 ain't got a job because I can't go to school. 65 00:03:55,860 --> 00:04:02,120 So I'm looking for a girl with a gun and a job and a house 66 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,560 with a table. 67 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:05,260 He doesn't get tables. 68 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:06,990 Don't you know what you are? 69 00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,550 What a dumbass. 70 00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:13,530 You don't have cable. You might as well just, like, you know, like, go to school 71 00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:14,329 or something. 72 00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,149 You can't go to school, Beavis. Remember? 73 00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:20,010 He doesn't have a job. He doesn't have a girl or a car or cable. 74 00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:22,910 He doesn't have cable? No way. He's like a rock star. 75 00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:25,530 Not all rock stars have cable. 76 00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:32,610 Uh... Uh... Uh... 77 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,100 Shut the hell up! 78 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:45,700 Now, welcome to Driver's Ed. I'm required to tell you that the film we 79 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:49,560 to see contains actual footage of gruesome car crashes. 80 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,680 Yes. Yeah, yeah. 81 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:53,880 Multiple car playoffs. 82 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,780 Car crashes rule. 83 00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:02,780 It's nothing I haven't seen, but it may be too much for some of you delicate 84 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:08,240 types. Now, no one's gonna think you're a panty waste if you can't take it, but 85 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:13,420 if you can't, I suggest you get your pathetic, weak -willed little butt out 86 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:14,199 here now! 87 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,000 You have five seconds! 88 00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:20,980 It's like I have a wuss. 89 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,400 It's a panty wuss. 90 00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:25,960 Shut up! Light! 91 00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:44,280 That movie is old. 92 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:45,540 Yeah. 93 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,620 This is from back when people were stupid. 94 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:56,780 Quiet! Most young people are conscientious citizens who drive 95 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,080 obey all the applicable traffic laws. 96 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,080 Look, he's flipping him off. 97 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,900 Shut up! 98 00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:08,200 But there's always going to be one or two bad apples in the bunch. 99 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,440 Those guys are cool. 100 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:21,920 A midnight encounter with a drunken wombat leads Butthead to 101 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,760 consider zoology. Stay tuned. 102 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:35,200 These two boys, let's call them Vinnie and Frankie, think they're cool. 103 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:40,450 All their friends think they're cool, but unsafe driving is never cool. 104 00:06:40,910 --> 00:06:43,650 Let's cruise, Frankie. Hey, cool. 105 00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:51,370 Hey. 106 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,920 Hang a Louie, Frankie. 107 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,740 He's a loogie. 108 00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:29,140 Louie, Frankie, Louie. Wait. 109 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,940 First I got a signal. 110 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,960 Don't be a square, Frankie. Just hang it. All right, Weisenheimer. 111 00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:54,500 Whoa, his brain fell out. 112 00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:00,020 This is your brain. This is your brain on the street. Any questions? 113 00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,560 Oh, cool. 114 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:12,960 Delia? Oh, Delia, Delia all my life. 115 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,020 Who is this dude? 116 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,440 He looks familiar. 117 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,320 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's, um, what's his name? 118 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,020 Captain Kangaroo. 119 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,060 Captain what? 120 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,040 You know, Captain Kangaroo. 121 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:33,380 You know, Mr. Green Jeans and Magic Drawing Board. You know. And I met Delia 122 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,380 there. 123 00:08:35,069 --> 00:08:37,650 Found her in her parlor. 124 00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:40,230 What kind of music is this? 125 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:46,050 I think this is like some kind of gangsta rap. Oh, yeah. 126 00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:52,790 I bet this dude scores a lot because, like, he wears black. 127 00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:54,130 Yeah, yeah. 128 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:55,450 Plus he's old. 129 00:08:55,970 --> 00:09:01,110 Kind of people make me want to grab my submachine. 130 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,600 Whoa, hey, that was pretty violent. 131 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,020 Yeah. 132 00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:07,060 Enough is enough. 133 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:11,220 Whoa. 134 00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:18,180 He shouldn't have shot that chick. She's pretty hot. 135 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,400 Yeah, really. 136 00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:22,460 I would have taken her off his hand. 137 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,600 Yeah, you know what he should have done? He should have, like, fired some 138 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,720 warning shots up in the air. 139 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,360 That would have scared her away. 140 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:30,930 And then, like, score. 141 00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:35,770 I guess if a chick has to choose between, like, dying or, like, doing it 142 00:09:35,770 --> 00:09:38,710 you, you might actually have a chance of scoring, Viva. 143 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,790 That's why I was suggesting it. 144 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,890 All right, butthead, now pay attention. 145 00:09:56,190 --> 00:10:00,810 Just release the brake and press gently on the accelerator. 146 00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:04,190 Dumbass. Drive, drive. 147 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:10,990 Butthead, what is your problem? Apply gentle pressure to the accelerator. 148 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,130 Do it now. 10061