Original subtitles

Woo! You got a nice little patootie on it, don't you?

Enough with the train, bring on the caboose. Yeah.

Shut up, you bunch of dirt balls.

This old guy's a...

Cool. Yeah.

They know how to talk to girls. Yeah.

They should, like, make a video.

How to talk to chicks.

Yeah. Volume one, hunting and escaping.

That would be cool.

Whoa.

These chicks are horny.

Yeah, yeah.

How come chicks are only horny like that on TV?

They have these places where horny chicks are, but it's like, you gotta

fake ID.

Damn it. I've seen this video about a million times.

Yeah, yeah, me too. I've watched this video like a zillion times, and it's

she still never takes her clothes off.

I keep, like, waiting for her to get out of that tub or something.

Never does.

Divas, it's the same video. If she doesn't get naked the first time you see

she's never gonna get naked.

How do you know, butthead?

You know, she might, like, decide to get crazy or something.

Here, come.

See? Stand up. Stand up.

Stand up.

Eva, she's not going to be naked. It's the same video every time.

No way, butthead. You don't know that.

I think she's going to be naked.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe she'll do it this time. Yeah, yeah.

Show it.

Dumbass.

You got that stuff in her hair. Yeah.

That stuff's called jelly curl.

Jelly?

What, knocker?

Hey, don't call me that, butthead.

I'm serious.

Uh, okay.

Dill hole.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's better.

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like...

A big hole in the ground.

You called it, dude.

Hey, butthead, check it out. Pipes.

Yeah.

I wonder if they're, like, pipes for water or pipes for, like, crap.

Yeah, that would be cool if they really had, like, pipes with crap and turds

running through them.

They do, dumbass.

How do you think all that crap gets out of your house?

It doesn't.

It's in my basement in little jars.

That's pretty disgusting, Beavis. Yeah, I know.

Uh, I'm gonna, like, crawl into this pipe and see what's inside.

Yeah, but, like, hurry up. I'm hungry.

Whoa.

It's dark in here.

Come on, buddy, let's go get some nachos.

Uh, okay.

I can't get out.

I'm, like, stuck.

That's cool.

It's not cool, Beavis. I'm not sure yet, but I think it sucks.

You got to keep your dial right there with Beavis and Butthead. They'll be

back.

Ow.

Stop it, Beavis. It's not working.

I said stop it. Are you, like, hearing repaired or something?

I think I hurt myself.

Good.

What do I do now?

Figure out how to get me out of this pipe, dumbass.

Um... Come on, Beavis.

Um, I think I got an idea.

Uh, what is it?

You could, like, live in the pipe.

Yeah.

They can't make you go to school.

Oh, yeah?

But what about chicks?

There's chicks in there?

No, fart knocker.

I'm talking about the chicks I'm going to be scoring with when I get some chest

hair.

Get the chicks stuck in the pipe with you.

That would be cool.

Freeze!

You punk guys!

Man, this is going to look good on my record.

Teenage vandals.

Society's human waste products.

He's like trapped in a pipe.

Trapped? Good sweet lord!

Don't panic, boy.

We're gonna get you out of there. Even if it means risking my own life in the

process. You stay here. Try to keep your spirits up. I've got the call to action

news.

What is it?

I don't know.

Whoa. Look at this guy. Yeah.

Who's he talking to?

I don't know.

Is this, like, one of those three?

Yeah.

I thought we had this settled. I'm the best. Who's that?

I thought we had this settled. I'm the best that's ever been.

Or will you let the devil be the best?

That dude on the hill is pretty cool. Yeah.

I bet you can, like, kick all these guys' asses.

Yeah, yeah.

Why doesn't he? Yeah.

A fight would be nice.

Y 'all better just be turning back if you want this boy to win.

That's supposed to be Satan.

What?

He looks like that fat dude in Van Halen.

They could have gotten that dude up on the hill to be played.

I've seen scarier Platons in a Mr. Big video.

What's he doing with his hand?

They could have gotten Richard and Bart.

It would have been scarier than that.

You're the young man's friend. What can you tell us about the victim of this

terrible ordeal?

He's stuck in a pipe.

Ladies and gentlemen, he's free.

Butthead is free.

Mr. Butthead. Butthead, what did you smell when you were in the pipe?

I have to go to the bathroom.

What a courageous young man.

And so this incredible story has a happy ending.

Butthead is free.

Trish Burby, Action News.

That's a wrap.

God, what a stupid kid.

Help! Help, I'm stuck!

Help, I'm stuck!

Yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Turn it up, buddy, turn it up! Come on!

Okay, Viva.

Don't talk bad attitude with me.

No, no, that's the wrong way, Butt -head. Come on. Oh, there we go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some air.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Hey,

Butt -head, that was cool.

Uh, what'd you say, Beaver?

I said it was cool.

Uh,

what?

This guy's a good dancer.

Yeah.

It's pretty cool.

If I get a good dancer, and he sings pretty cool, and you're like... Shut up,

Viva. I'm trying to listen.

Oh, yeah, me too. I'm trying to listen too.

Hey, Button.

Will the TV go pretty loud? Let me see. Yeah.

I think that's as loud as it goes.

Damn it.

We need to get a louder TV.

Let's get closer to the TV.

Yeah, okay.

Now it's hurting my eyes and my ears.

Yeah, this is cool.