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1
00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:06,150
Sit.
2
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:09,990
Stay.
3
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:14,790
Speak. This sucks.
4
00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:20,890
Yeah. I bet they put all the stuff that
sucks on in the morning just to, like,
5
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,070
get us to go to school.
6
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,370
Yeah.
7
00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,950
I think it's working.
8
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,010
Check it out, he's watching TV.
9
00:00:34,630 --> 00:00:35,630
Yeah.
10
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:40,750
And it's like, we're watching TV, so
it's like we're watching two TVs for the
11
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:41,750
price of one.
12
00:00:43,170 --> 00:00:45,330
Um, what two TVs?
13
00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:46,550
I don't understand.
14
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:52,050
Beavis, we're watching TV, and then
there's another TV in the TV.
15
00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:52,929
Oh, wait.
16
00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:54,710
There's like a TV inside the TV?
17
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:57,210
Let's break it open and find it.
18
00:00:57,830 --> 00:01:00,810
Boy, Beavis, you're stupid.
19
00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:05,099
Wow. Wow. Okay.
20
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:14,920
Look at his mouth.
21
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,800
Yeah, yeah.
22
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,360
It's all encrustulated with globules of
feces.
23
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,800
See what I mean, Beavis?
24
00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:26,120
You, like, got some problem or
something.
25
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:31,300
Yeah, well, you're, uh, you're mom. You,
uh, um, you're mom.
26
00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:32,740
Uh, yeah.
27
00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:43,210
Oh, look at the monkey.
28
00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:51,230
You know what they can do? They can,
like, break that couch. They can, like,
29
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,250
just rip it up.
30
00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:53,969
Break it.
31
00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,990
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that.
32
00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:59,370
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rip it, break
it. Break it.
33
00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:02,650
Yeah. Yeah.
34
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,350
Get in there. Kick it.
35
00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:05,910
Kick the couch.
36
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,010
Yeah, yeah.
37
00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:09,169
No, no, no, don't stop. Don't stop.
38
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,430
Don't stop.
39
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,179
Damn it.
40
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:12,200
Winners never win.
41
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:25,040
May I have your attention, people?
42
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,240
People.
43
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,840
Could I have your attention, please?
44
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,980
Come on, guys.
45
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,860
Do I need to get Mr. Buzz cut in here?
46
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,400
Thank you.
47
00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:42,230
We have a guest today, class, and it
appears she isn't a moment too soon.
48
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:46,650
It seems that as adults, we aren't doing
a very good job of teaching the
49
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,250
importance of good manners.
50
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:53,270
Now, a group of concerned parents has
asked the school to deal with the
51
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:58,750
So please join me in giving a warm
welcome to an expert on etiquette, Mr.
52
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,030
Manners.
53
00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:04,010
Thank you for that warm welcome.
54
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:06,770
My, what a nice -looking group of
students.
55
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,640
Hey, Bela.
56
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:13,440
Machine gunner.
57
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,380
Oh, yeah.
58
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,640
I get both.
59
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:25,000
Excuse me, boys, but it's rather rude to
make noises and interrupt me when it's
60
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,180
my turn to talk.
61
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,280
Uh, we were doing this long before you
came in, sir.
62
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,660
Yes. You interrupted us.
63
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,820
Butthole.
64
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,300
Well, I'll teach you some manners yet.
65
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,880
But for now, I would greatly appreciate
your undivided attention.
66
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,760
Now, class, manners are an enjoyable way
to create a favorable impression with
67
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,740
others. I'd like to start off with a fun
activity in which we'll do a little
68
00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:51,740
role -playing.
69
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,820
Now, I'll need a couple of volunteers.
70
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,120
Uh, pole -playing?
71
00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,660
Yes, I can do that.
72
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,700
Okay, but what's the magic word?
73
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,760
Uh...
74
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:11,000
Now come on, what do you say when you
want something?
75
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,920
Oh, uh, butt wipe?
76
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,120
Give me something butt wipe.
77
00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:19,579
Bunghole.
78
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,480
Bunghole.
79
00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:32,420
Coming up next, Butthead begins to
suspect Beavis of codependency. Stay
80
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:40,580
I would like to start with the use of
proper manners in a restaurant setting.
81
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,440
Now, I want you, Master Butthead, to
pretend that you are at a restaurant,
82
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,400
Master Beavis will be the waiter.
83
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:56,200
Let's start by having Master Beavis
welcome you to the restaurant and take
84
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,520
order. Ah! Don't touch me, asswipe!
85
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,560
You look like a dork.
86
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,700
Shut up, fart knocker.
87
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,060
I'll kick your ass.
88
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,740
Boys, boys, that's no way to show
manners.
89
00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:10,700
Here, let me get you started.
90
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,000
Master Beavis, say something like, good
evening, sir.
91
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,840
My name is Beavis.
92
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,620
Welcome to our restaurant.
93
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,560
May I take your order, please?
94
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,060
Go ahead, we're waiting.
95
00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:27,950
Hi, butthead.
96
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,110
Hi, Master Beavis.
97
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,750
I was supposed to introduce me,
bunghole.
98
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:37,230
Um, uh, welcome to a restaurant.
99
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,590
Yeah, um, you like to take my order?
100
00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:44,070
Yeah, get me some nachos, buttwipe.
101
00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:50,190
Ah, listen, you little twerp. This is my
job. This is how I make money.
102
00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:54,090
Don't screw with me. Now, how about
using some manners?
103
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:56,580
Man or fuck.
104
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,600
Don't screw with him.
105
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,100
Yeah.
106
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,340
He sure does like to touch.
107
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:07,420
Yeah. He tried to touch my wiener.
108
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,020
What? You little liar.
109
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,740
Back off, you pervert. He's lying.
110
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,500
Hey, don't you dare lay a finger on my
students.
111
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,200
Beavis, did he hit you?
112
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,340
Yes, sir. He did.
113
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:19,820
Thank you for your concern.
114
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:24,300
Why, you little dirtball. You want to
touch my students? I'll touch you.
115
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,220
I'll get to you, little punk! Uh, no
thank you, sir.
116
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,620
Stop it!
117
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:32,879
Stop it!
118
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,560
That hit me. You're going to jail,
jackass!
119
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,860
You're going downward, son!
120
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,980
That, you old -fashioned... You're
hurting me!
121
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,620
Hey, hey,
122
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,400
did you see the poppet front end?
123
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,680
Yeah.
124
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:54,980
And, you know, wherever there's a
faucet, there's probably a toilet close
125
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:55,739
Oh, yeah.
126
00:06:55,740 --> 00:07:00,180
And wherever there's a toilet, there's,
like, mud, and cleaner, and dirt, and,
127
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,279
uh, wee -wee.
128
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,280
Yeah.
129
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,720
A little something for everyone.
130
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:13,120
This dude must use the same shampoo as
me.
131
00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:16,400
Um, you know, you shampoo, butthead.
132
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,200
Uh... Oh, yeah.
133
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:23,380
Hey,
134
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:24,899
buddy.
135
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,520
Isn't that band schlong?
136
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,140
No, dumbass.
137
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,560
It's prong.
138
00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:33,960
Okay, well, I wasn't that far off,
butthole.
139
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,680
Yes. Yes. Rock, rock.
140
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:51,740
Snap your finger.
141
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:58,060
Snap your neck.
142
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,020
That's like some kind of weird double
joint.
143
00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:05,060
That's not that weird. I can do that. No
way.
144
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,400
Yeah, I can. Check it out.
145
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,300
Whoa.
146
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:12,960
That's cool.
147
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,220
I get it wrong.
148
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,560
All right.
149
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:17,959
Let's see.
150
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:18,960
Oh, no.
151
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,720
Okay. Thanks.
152
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,320
You almost, like, broke something.
153
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:32,760
You should, like, bootie a guy for,
like, uh, something.
154
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,000
Yeah.
155
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,179
I bet if I, like, boot him, I can get
back to James Pappas.
156
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,080
Please come out.
157
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,940
Please.
158
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,660
Yeah, me too.
159
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,300
Hey, butthead, it won't come out.
160
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:00,780
Maybe you should try using manners.
161
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:02,520
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
162
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,060
Um, please come out of my butt.
163
00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:10,860
Please?
164
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,640
Thank you, drive -thru.
165
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:18,840
It matters.
166
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,500
Hey, Beavis, will you please wipe my
butt?
167
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:35,120
What's this?
168
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:39,640
Hey,
169
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,940
look, Beavis, it's your mom. Where,
where?
170
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,280
Hanging out in bars again.
171
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,720
I'm not my mom, butthead.
172
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:48,470
That's Grandma.
173
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,150
What is this?
174
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:56,030
Uh... Is this cable access?
175
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,370
Yeah, I think it is.
176
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,070
Cable access sucks.
177
00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:03,090
They should call it cable sucks.
178
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,510
Yeah, cable sucks.
179
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:12,170
Look at this dork.
180
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:14,270
Yeah, what a dumbass.
181
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:15,850
Ooh.
182
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:20,890
The band's fucked.
183
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:22,210
Yeah, really.
184
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:25,250
Hey, buddy, didn't these guys play that
wedding we went to?
185
00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:27,130
Yeah.
186
00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:30,790
Remember when you kept asking them to
play Pantera?
187
00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,730
Yeah. That was cool.
188
00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,750
Remember when you waited in line to kiss
the bride?
189
00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,870
And then you tried to cop a feel?
190
00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:40,390
Oh, yeah.
191
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,370
Her dad kicked your ass.
192
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:46,050
Oh, yeah.
12255
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