Original subtitles

Hey, Beavis, check it out.

Jean Gary Diablo.

What?

Whoa.

Is he, like, having a fit?

I kicked his ass.

No way.

I'm just resting.

Are y 'all going to the movie?

Uh, uh -huh. Great.

I'm Lolita, and this here's Tanqueray.

Can we be your date?

You mean, like, sit with us and stuff?

Yeah, we're gonna score.

When it's love... No!

Oh, dear Lord.

When it's love...

But my stomach hurts.

Yeah. Come on, buddy, change it. This is like making my stomach hurt.

I think this is like the traveling Wilburys.

The traveling Pickleburys.

I had one of those ones that traveled all over my butt.

Come on, buddy, change it. Okay.

I think it's like bad for the TV when you like play this kind of stuff on it.

Yeah.

I think it, like, messes up the tape.

Is this the Benny Hill show?

Uh, no. There aren't any chicks in bikinis.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, this is privacy.

Yeah.

Maybe this guy will spit again.

Whoa, did you hear that?

I think he just said, if I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee.

Really?

Hey, buddy, let's go get some druthers. Uh, okay.

Now, this video needs, it needs, like, a toilet.

Why would they put a toilet in here, Beavis?

It doesn't have anything to do with toilet.

It's about, um...

Uh,

I don't know.

I don't care.

Whoa, take him out, buddy. Rock him like a robot. Kick him in the nab.

Robots don't have nabs, dumbass.

Mine do.

I glued him on.

I put nabs on all my action figures.

He's like Beavis and Raven.

That's disgusting, Beavis.

Cool. Yeah.

Not as cool.

Yeah, yeah.

If you just, like, blow some snot into the crowd, and then they can, like, pass

it around and stuff.

Leave a few, dumbass.

Whoa, whoa, look, a toilet!

A toilet!

See, my head, I told you.

A toilet is cool.

Uh, okay, Viva.

If you're not interested, we can get other dates.

Uh...

Do we have to, like, buy you stuff?

No. Just give us your tickets.

Then go around to the back, and we'll let you in through the exit doors.

Hey, buddy.

This is, like, complicated and stuff. Shut up, ass munch.

Check this out.

Uh, how do we know you're gonna let us in?

Well, give us your money.

Yeah. For collateral.

Whoa.

They're pretty smart, dude.

Yeah. That's why they're going out with us.

See you there.

This is going to be cool.

Yeah.

A pig, a prom dress, and a startling confession.

Stay tuned for more Beavis and Butthead.

Hey, buddy.

I bet those chicks are going to want to hold hands with us.

Yeah.

But that's not all they'll hold.

They'll, like, hold our popcorn and stuff, too.

Beavis, are you sure you're ready for this?

Dumbass.

I don't know.

Maybe they're putting on some more makeup.

Yeah. They want to look good for us. Yeah.

Come to Butthead.

Both

chicks

were pretty lucky they found us.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, good man is hard to find.

You fuck hard.

They must be putting on a lot of makeup.

Yeah.

They probably look really hot by now.

Is it time for our date?

The movie's over, dumbass.

Uh, where's our money?

We had to get some popcorn and stuff for our friend.

God, you're stingy. Yeah, man. If it wouldn't rain and I'd be kicking your

right now.

Come on, Beavis.

Let's go check out the movie anyway.

Yeah.

Hey, punk.

You trying to sneak in?

Uh, yeah.

That was cold.

Hey,

look,

it's another one of those heavy metal videos with a naked dude all curled up

the floor.

Yeah, yeah.

Whoa.

Was that a bear?

Yeah,

I think so.

Hey, check it out. It's that dude from Andy of Mayberry.

Oh, yeah. You mean Barney?

Oh, Andy, I'm going to go over to Mount Pilate and work at Peyton's.

That doesn't sound like him, Beavis.

Shut up, buddy.

Hey,

Beavis, I just thought of something.

Goober spelled backwards is booger.

Oh, yeah.

That's cool.

Like, what's booger spelled backwards?

Let's see.

I don't know.

Cool.

It starts to get really stupid.

Bow to me.

Bow to me.

Bow to me splendidly.

Bow to me splendidly.

What does that mean?

Cool. Yeah.

It looks like a good movie to take chicks to.

Yeah.

We're there.

We better bring more money this time.

Yeah.

Then we'll score.

Yeah.

Family.

If these guys were my neighbors, I'd wait until late at night, and I'd, like,

sneak over and take a swim in their pool.

I think they should probably, like, change the water first.

No, wait, but I don't want to rule.

They should put one of those signs that says, like, we don't take a dump in your

pool, don't take a dump in our toilet.

That's not how the sign goes, but it is.

He's like, uh, we pee in your pool, so please take a dump in our toilet.

No, butthole.

That's not it.

We don't pee in your toilet, so please don't swim in our pool.

No, that's not it either, dumbass.

It's, uh, we get crapped in your pool, so like, can we use your toilet?

Uh, yeah, I think that's it.

What's he screaming about?

Turd water doesn't take that bad.

Pollution and coal.

Yeah. I like garbage too.