Original subtitles

I can see you boys aren't like the usual hooligans hanging around here. Like

these two fellas, Buffcoat and Beaver.

Boy, they've been nothing but trouble.

We work so that we can, like, you know, buy books and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

And then we're going to get these cool snake tattoos over the... You know, when

a man builds a new swimming pool, there's some things he just can't do by

himself. Uh, Beavis does things by himself.

Now, as soon as I get you boys started here, I'm going to go out and get me

roofing tiles.

That old tool shed's gonna be the fanciest pool cabana you ever saw.

Of course, then I'm gonna have to put my tools somewhere.

Yeah, me too.

You know, back when I was in the service, they used to say, don't show a

to do something.

Tell him what to do and let him surprise you with his ingenuity.

Okay, boys, get started.

You got a long, hard day ahead of you.

Funk that.

Whoa. Did you hear that?

He said, funk that.

Funk that.

Yeah, cool.

Yeah.

Funk that.

What?

Question. Question.

That's pretty good, Beavis.

Come on, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, step up.

Kick him in the neck.

Yeah.

Funk that.

Funk that, funk that.

Question. Question.

Every time I turn on the radio.

Why is it that every time I turn on the radio, 15 times a day for three months?

Yeah.

Question.

Why is it that Beavis is fiddling with his wiener 15 times a day for three

months? Shut up, butthead. Fuck that.

Question. Why is it that every time I ask Butthead to change a channel because

of a video, fuck, he never does it?

Fuck that.

Question.

They should get this guy on that 16 -minute show instead of that old Mickey

Rooney dude they got.

He sucks.

He sounds just like that butt munch.

Yeah, yeah, check those out, too.

How come they call it taking a dump and not leaving a dump?

I mean, after all, you're not really taking it anywhere.

Fuck that.

Well, Tom, you look like you're celebrating.

Bill, I finally got a couple of good workers to help around the yard.

I'll tell you what.

These here boys are hard workers.

They're 100 % U .S. grade A.

This is stupid.

Why did Anderson put this thing on the tool shed?

Cool.

You gotta have the right tool for the job, Viva.

Hey, butthead, I found some more advantageous tools.

Check it out.

Hello?

Can I get some help here?

Hello?

I'm looking for some Spanish tile to finish off my new pool cabana.

I told you two hours ago.

Masonry units. Aisle K7 -149B, row 17, shelf W.

Hello?

Is anyone out there?

Anything's too fucked.

This'll take us all day.

Wait a minute, Beavis.

Whoa, I'm talking about the beavers and the butthead coming right back.

Can't be machinery. Cool.

Yeah.

Watch this, dude.

Can't be a clerk.

Where in the hell are them Spanish tiles?

I could have walked to Mexico by now and gotten them.

Okay, dude.

Push.

Push it.

Whoa.

I'm out.

Get me out of here.

I was walking on Broadway, you know, and there's this incredible looking Swedish

girl having a cappuccino. I

don't

want to grab either.

Studying their vowels.

Yeah.

A, E, O, I, M,

N, I, 2, 1, 0, 3, 6, 7, 8.

Did numbers have vowels?

Yeah.

Dumbass.

Zero is a vowel.

So is one.

Wow.

Hey, buddy.

You're pretty smart sometimes.

Yeah.

Sometimes when I'm in school, I like flippin' and stuff.

Really?

You still like tics and stuff, though, right?

We almost made it to the edge last night, dude.

Yeah.

Slimming is hard.

Hey, Beavis.

Remember when Anderson gets back? We're those other guys.

I hope he has one of those jerk hammers so he can chop us out of here.

Yeah, yeah.

Where is he?

Hello?

Masonry units?

Anybody?

Where's that damn hippie clerk?

Hello?

The Army kicked ass.

Yeah, yeah.

Is Anthrax in the Army?

Uh, I think that Scott dude is in the Army.

Yeah.

You have a regulation cut.

My major dad.

Yeah.

Today's Army rocks.

Isn't it like that thing they play, like, really late at night when the

station's, like, going off the air?

Yeah.

Only the music's a lot cooler.

Yeah, yeah.

This should, like, be the national anthem.

Yeah, the national anthem.

Yeah, like they could play it at baseball games and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, the judge could come out and go, I can't.

That's pretty good, Venus.

You sound just like the judge.

Yeah! Bum! He bought it.

Wouldn't that be cool? Like, one day we were, like, going to school, and a bunch

of planes dropped a bunch of bombs. You dumbass.

Bombs would, like, hurt and stuff.

It's only cool when they drop them on CNN.

Oh, yeah.

I was just thinking, you know, like, they probably wouldn't have to go to

that day.