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You are under arrest for violation of
Penal Code
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7538 -7.
3
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He said penal.
4
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,520
Iron justice is cool.
5
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,360
Yeah, yeah. I want to do that.
6
00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:47,750
I can't do this all day, dill weed.
7
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Here I come.
8
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Come.
9
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Beavis, you wuss.
10
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You hardly made a dent.
11
00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:08,190
Beavis?
12
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Whoa. Is this like David Bowie?
13
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:17,720
No way.
14
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I mean, this guy's a puss, but it's a
different puss.
15
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This dude is
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andropping us.
17
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He's a penis.
18
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I met a man.
19
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He was a good man.
20
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I met a good man.
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Quit
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pointing
23
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:08,840
that stick at me.
24
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,520
Yeah. He's just trying to show off.
25
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Who are these guys?
26
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Yeah.
27
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,180
Where's that guy?
28
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:26,820
I don't know.
29
00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:34,220
This is pretty cool.
30
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,040
Yeah. They rock.
31
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They rock.
32
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,220
Whoa.
33
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,520
If I had my driver's license, I'd, like,
run over some light bulbs.
34
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,800
Yeah. Hey, but you know what we should
do, like, in the meantime?
35
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,640
We should go get some light bulbs and
stuff.
36
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:00,430
Dump on him. Yeah.
37
00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:03,990
That's a good idea, Beavis.
38
00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:07,750
Yeah. Thanks.
39
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Beavis, you wuss.
40
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Get up, dillweed.
41
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Don't make me kick your ass, Beavis.
42
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I'm kicking your ass, Beavis.
43
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This is cool.
44
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Look at me, Beavis. I'm kicking your
ass.
45
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Kicking your ass.
46
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This sucks.
47
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:08,220
Well, we better bury you, Beavis. You're
already starting to stink.
48
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,500
Whoa. What is this?
49
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,360
Welcome to heaven, Beavis.
50
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Whoa. Are you like Santa Claus?
51
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:29,579
I am St.
52
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Peter.
53
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:45,300
So, like in heaven, will all the chicks
do anything I want?
54
00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:48,540
No. That sucks.
55
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,860
Do I get x -ray vision?
56
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,040
Can I get some nachos?
57
00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:57,590
Are you sure this is heaven?
58
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:11,690
This is your life, Beavis.
59
00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:17,950
This book contains everything you've
ever done throughout your entire life,
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00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:19,190
matter how insignificant.
61
00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:24,330
Really? You mean like every time I ever
took a dump, it's in that book?
62
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,200
Yes. How about that time they peed in
the gym?
63
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:31,760
Yes.
64
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:33,420
Cool.
65
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,760
Hey, get away from there.
66
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,660
Beavis is not dog food.
67
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,620
He's worm food.
68
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:59,080
And then when you were four, you
mutilated an action figure in a most
69
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,080
manner.
70
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,500
Oh, yeah. That was cool.
71
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:09,140
No, that sucked. When you were five, you
and your friend, Butthead, passed out
72
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:11,900
chocolate laxatives in your kindergarten
class.
73
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:13,940
Yeah, yeah. That was really cool.
74
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,600
No, Beavis, that also sucked.
75
00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:19,080
What do you know, asswipe?
76
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:22,660
I know everything but money.
77
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,040
Yeah, but it's annoyed.
78
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:30,920
Cool.
79
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:32,840
Annoyed is cool.
80
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,059
Avoid the noise.
81
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,340
Avoid the noise. I like to say that.
Avoid the noise. Avoid the noise.
82
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:38,680
That's not annoyed.
83
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,120
That's Satan.
84
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,620
Oh, yeah.
85
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,560
Check it out, Viva. Yeah.
86
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,840
It's like, this guy's a pretty good
singer.
87
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,040
Yeah.
88
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,160
It's like, he can't write songs, but he
sure can sing.
89
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:24,180
This video's cool because they're, like,
doing something, like, that they
90
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,180
haven't done before.
91
00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:28,370
What do you mean? Like playing one of
those uvulas?
92
00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:29,710
Uh, yeah.
93
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:34,350
It's like they've never played a uvula
under a table before.
94
00:07:34,650 --> 00:07:35,650
Yeah, yeah.
95
00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:37,630
Whoa, check it out, buddy. Turn.
96
00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:40,030
Turn, turn, turn.
97
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:41,870
Uh, where?
98
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:48,330
You know, if I was Peyton, I would,
like, get a mountain bike.
99
00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:49,570
Yeah, yeah.
100
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,350
Like a really cool, like, skateboard.
Yeah.
101
00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:54,580
That's some chicks.
102
00:07:54,820 --> 00:07:57,000
Yeah. That would be cool.
103
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:05,940
Oh, look at the turds again. It's
104
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,140
turds. Where?
105
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,400
Right there. He was riding around some
turds, butthead.
106
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,500
Really? They're right there on the
ground. He was, like, riding around some
107
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:17,020
turds. Satan always likes to have some
turds close by.
108
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,400
Yeah, yeah.
109
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,240
I mean, you know, he is Satan.
110
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,900
Okay, that's enough. Now get your ass
back on the wall.
111
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:27,320
Get in there.
112
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:36,700
And then on the third day of the fourth
month of your twelfth year, you
113
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,419
touched yourself in an impure manner.
114
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:40,780
You thought that?
115
00:08:41,380 --> 00:08:44,380
Yeah. We see everything.
116
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,200
No way. I had the covers over me.
117
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,110
Worm food.
118
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,210
Come and get it, worms.
119
00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:06,590
And then, later that afternoon, you
touched yourself in an impure manner
120
00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:10,290
using a bottle of hand lotion. It is
starting to suck.
121
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,550
Do I get into heaven or not?
122
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:15,850
No.
123
00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:29,930
Uh, I guess I should, like, say
something.
124
00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:36,950
Uh, I am here today not to bury Beavis,
but to, uh...
125
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,150
Later, dude.
126
00:09:42,390 --> 00:09:47,910
Wake up, wet wipe. We're gonna miss Iron
Justice.
127
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,290
Ah!
128
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:55,130
Whoa. I had this weird dream. I met this
St. Peter dude.
129
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,600
Fight who?
130
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,800
Peter.
8195
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