Original subtitles

The Crap Network, home of the Crap Family Hour. And now, back to Melissa

Gilbert in Asbestos in Obstetrics.

Hey, buddy.

What is a stepsmith?

Uh, it's like health food or something. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Tell the commissioner we need that helicopter.

I don't care what it costs.

No, I'm not chipping in.

This sucks. Change it.

Uh, what is that?

Don't worry, buddy. It'll get cool in a minute.

It better start rocking or I'll really give him something to cry about.

Shut up, buddy. It'll get cool. Check it out. Check it out.

Here it comes.

Yeah! Yeah!

Rock! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

This is pretty cool.

What?

What's going on?

How come they don't just, like, play that cool part through the whole song?

Well, Beavis, if they didn't have, like, a part of the song that sucked...

Then it's like, the other part wouldn't be as cool.

Really? You're pretty smart about it.

Here it comes again.

Yeah, yeah, wow.

I like that part where he goes... Yeah.

This guy, like, he's down on his foot.

Yeah.

Repeat after me. I am somebody.

Yeah. I am somebody.

We now return to Robert Urich, Melissa Gilbert, and Lou Ferrigno in Asbestos

in Obstetrics.

You own this building? And there are hundreds of women trapped up there ready

deliver? Women you made pregnant? Now you're telling me it's not your problem?

Wait.

If they can manage not to breathe until we get them out of there.

Huh?

Yeah, yeah. Huh? Yeah.

This sucks.

Change it.

Uh.

The remote's broken.

He

bought

it.

What's wrong with the TV?

Uh, I don't know.

Let's kick it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's kick it. Let's kick it. Kick it.

Uh,

wait a minute.

I just, like, figured something out.

What? We gotta go watch TV somewhere else.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Are they

having another one of those midnight madness sales?

Yeah, yeah.

We're slashing pythons! Everything must go!

That's not cool.

We gotta find a place to watch TV.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, they've got one.

Yeah.

Hey, wait up, dude.

Freeze! Police!

Uh, never mind.

Coming up, Butthead makes Beavis' brown eyes blue.

Don't go away.

That's right, everyone.

If we all work together and respect one another's space, we'll get through this

crisis with a newfound sense of community.

Get out of the street, you long -haired panty waist!

Oh,

Beavis and Butthead, what a break!

I'm so glad you guys came by. I've got to go coordinate the emergency shelter

the Y.

But I can't move from here until I'm relieved.

Just go behind a building, dude. No one will see.

Yeah, yeah.

No, no, I mean, can you guys take over directing traffic here?

Uh, do we get armbands?

Yeah, like tater, tater, tater.

Well, I might be able to find you a couple of helmets.

Uh... We'll find our own helmets, dude.

Now look, fellas, this isn't hard.

Just wave the traffic through in one direction, count to 50, and then change,

okay?

Cool.

Thanks, guys.

And I think you'll be surprised at the way doing good will have you feeling

good.

Feeling good?

Yeah, yeah.

Feeling good.

Uh,

were we supposed to, like, do something?

Uh, yeah.

Um,

what'd he say again?

Uh... I think he said wave the car through in, like, one direction.

You take that one. I'll take this one.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Uh,

one.

You're not doing it right, ass munch.

Okay, sorry about that.

This time count to 50.

Okay.

Uh, one.

Okay.

One. Two.

Two.

Six. Yeah.

Uh, 60.

Uh, two.

We already did two.

No, we didn't. Yes, we did.

We're thinking of 62.

No, we butted.

Shut up, butt dumpling.

Maybe we did do two.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Watch it, Viva.

I know the fuck, but it doesn't mean you have to spit on me.

You're lucky I didn't barf on you.

He's trying to hump a rock.

Yeah.

After Corby pulled it down on top of him, he like crashed him.

Yeah, yeah.

Whoa.

Did you see that?

He had a band -aid on one of his boobs.

Really?

Why?

Maybe he's, like, trying to shave the hair off his chest.

Why not, Viva?

It's like he shaved off his nipples.

This is really beginning

to piss me off, Viva. Yeah, yeah, really.

Get up off the ground and stop whining, you wuss.

Get up, get up, get up. straight, quit acting like a wuss, quit whining, go out

and get a job with some good clothes.

You tell him, Beaver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And another thing, stay away from old

Brock.

Uh,

five, seven.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, eleven -teen.

Whoa,

what's that?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Beavis, check it out. It's Stuart's dad.

Yeah. He doesn't look so good.

Where am I? I think I'm bleeding internally.

Uh,

Mr.

Stevenson? Is that you?

Beavis, butthead. Thank God.

What happened? Tell me what happened.

Uh, our TV broke.

Yeah. Can we watch at your house?