Original subtitles

in, people.

Today I'm going to teach you about basic water safety.

Is that clear?

Butthead, what is your problem?

Uh, I can't seem to take my eyes off this girl's butt, sir.

Well, I'm going to take your eyes out of their sockets and stick them up your

butt if you don't pay attention.

Lesson one, the doggy paddle.

Doggy style?

Yeah, doggy style.

Now, when you arrive at the point of exhaustion, you may utilize the body's

natural tendency to float.

He's a floater.

Butthead, do you find this amusing?

Uh, no.

Whoa.

Looks like a bunch of water falling down.

Yeah, yeah, some mud.

Uh, yeah.

A chick in the rain.

Yeah, yeah, and a dog.

I guess that's pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Water, water, water, water.

Take me the raincoat.

Yeah.

Hey, Biba.

Do you, like, have a raincoat?

Yeah.

When was the last time you used it?

Last night.

On your mom.

Damn it, Viva.

Hey,

buddy. You know how, like... When it rained, like, afterwards, you go out on

street, like, all the earthworms come out, step on them, and they go...

Yeah.

Mud is cool.

Mud rules.

How come these guys are, like, playing out in the mud?

Uh, well, it's either because they're really stupid or really cool.

Shut up, Beavis.

Thank you, Miss Morgendorfer. Next, Butthead. Please demonstrate your

floating. I said Butthead. Where are you, Butthead?

He's over there.

Beavis! You will save your friend's life!

Now!

Okay.

It's too cold.

Miss

Morgendorfer,

please commandeer my clipboard and whistle!

Butthead, do you have an explanation for your inexplicable behavior?

Uh, I was dead?

Yeah, you were dead.

Do you or do you not have a reason for placing my life and my accreditation at

risk? Uh...

I can't swim?

Yeah, me too.

And what about your patent disregard for Beavis? Do you not care a rat's ass for

the safety of your closest companion?

Uh, no.

Yeah.

No. Listen up, people. I am moving this class to the nurse's station

immediately. It's obvious that you people need to learn life -saving

as well as the code of the sea.

Beavis, butthead. The legend continues after this.

Okay, class.

Beavis and Butthead have volunteered to serve as CPR dummies for our medical

emergency lesson.

Oh, gross.

Their extremities have been incapacitated to simulate the paralysis

characteristic to a pool trauma victim.

Fall in, people.

Do I have a volunteer?

Stevenson!

I can't do it.

That man fails.

By now, our victims would be brain dead.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Kimberly, revive the trauma victims.

Ooh, baby.

Come to Butthead.

Yeah, yeah, and then come to me.

I don't think so.

I have a doctor's note excusing me from any emotionally destructive school

activities. It's valid all the way through college.

Students, I am extremely disappointed by today's performance.

Do you require that I personally demonstrate the correct resuscitation

technique? Uh, no.

No. Uh,

no.

First, it is essential to establish an airtight seal over the mouth of the

trauma victim.

Which victim wishes to go first?

No. No! No!

They ain't gonna vomit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vomit. Vomit.

Vomit.

Vomit, damn it. Settle down, dealer.

Butt cheeks?

Where? Where? Where?

Butt cheeks?

They didn't show butt cheeks, dumbass. He just said butt cheeks.

Yeah, yeah.

That's cool.

Mr.

Blue Vein. Mr.

Blue Vein?

Yeah.

Hey, butt ass.

I have a blue vein.

Okay, Beavis.

Hey,

Butt -Head.

Hey, Butt -Head.

Check it out.

Come on. Hey, Butt -Head. Butt -Head. Check it out. Put Mr. Blue Vein away,

Beavis.

Don't bull guard it, dude.

Killed millions of germs on contract.

A

marine

can stand anything. A marine can stand anything.

A Marine can stand anything!

Uh, excuse me, son.

You're busted for stealing shopping carts.

Yeah, it's like my partner wants to send you to the juvie home. But, uh, if you,

like, tell us who stole the shopping carts, I might, like, convince him to

you get off with, like, just some half -kicking.

Uh,

okay.

Ah! I don't want to look at some dude's hairy butt!

Yeah.

If they would, like, just show a chick's butt, maybe it would be a buzz clip.

That's not how it goes, Beavis.

Dumbass.

Whoa, look at that. They almost showed that chick's butt.

Yeah.

But clothes only count in horse shoes and, like, lemonade or something.

Sometimes they show a horse's butt.

What?

What?

I don't know.

Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

Yeah, yeah.

This looks like one of those obsession commercials.