Original subtitles

Nachos rule.

They rule.

Yeah.

Whoa, check it out.

Stupid dog.

I heard that if you, like, don't act scared, they won't attack you.

How do you do that?

Do I care?

No.

I don't care. No, I just don't care. Hey, buddy.

Whoa.

Penguin.

You know it sounds funny, but I just can't stand the pain.

That doesn't sound funny.

Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow. That's pretty hot.

Yeah.

Wow.

They must have just did it, and now she's, like, fixing herself up.

Yeah.

After I do it, I like to, you know, comb my hair, and then, like, you know,

then, like, flush the toilet and stuff.

You monkey spank.

What's so great about Sunday morning?

Yeah, yeah.

Sunday morning sucks.

Yeah.

Afternoon is no picnic either.

You know what really sucks?

It's like evening.

Yeah.

In fact, the whole day sucks.

Every single day sucks.

I was just thinking about those penguins.

Oh, yeah?

So?

I don't know. I was just thinking about them.

Do you want to touch his bone?

Touch it.

Cool. Can you film at the mouth?

Check this out.

Eason, is it contagious?

No, I disinfected it.

Sports drinks have nutrients.

Listen up, morons.

Some short -sighted federal appeals judge says I can't use this on you. But

remember this. In this classroom, I am the judge, the jury, and the jailer.

Does it hurt when I do this?

That was cool.

gentlemen have a problem?

Do you wish to enlighten the class as to what is festering on your leg, Beavis?

Dog bite.

Well, I thought you looked rabid, boy.

Now listen close.

Get the hell out of my classroom before you infect anyone else with your

sickness. You stink of death.

Butthead, this man requires immediate medical attention.

Uh... Hospital butthead! Head on the double! Yes!

The chances are very, very good that this is a repeat.

Stick around anyway.

Beavis and the brown -haired guy will be right back.

Can I help you?

Uh, he's got, like, rabies or something.

I see.

What's your name?

Uh, last name is Munch.

First name is Rodney.

Rod Munch.

Rod Munch.

Now,

which one of you fellas is Rod Munch?

Uh. He is.

He's Rod.

So, Rod, I understand you got bit by a dog.

Well, don't be scared, because look, a dog bit my thumb off once too, Rod.

You're stupid.

Now, Rod, I don't suppose you brought the animal with you?

Uh, he wasn't, like, very friendly.

Yeah, he doesn't like me.

Well, we'll have to find him anyway.

In a suspected case of rabies, the animal has to be destroyed, of course.

And to check for presence of the disease, we cut off the head and dissect

brain. Whoa, that's cool.

Actually, yes.

It is kind of cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, butthead, let's go find that dog.

Not so fast, Rod.

Let's talk about your symptoms first.

Any dizziness, nausea, fever, any convulsions?

Yeah, yeah.

No more than usual, though.

Hmm. So far, nothing checks out.

Maybe you were lucky.

Uh, you mean like no decrepitation?

I've got rabies.

Okay.

I'll call the police about the dog.

But first, we'd better start treatment.

Do they have to get a shot?

No.

Cool.

You have to get 18 of them, Rod.

Yes.

In the stomach.

Cool.

This sucks.

First, it causes your hair to turn red.

Then your butt falls off.

Hey, Beaver.

Have you ever had an operation?

Yeah. I had my tonsils removed once.

Whoa.

That means you were neutered, dude.

No way.

Really? Dude, that's what they do when they remove your testicles.

Cool.

I was thinking of having my mucus membranes removed.

That way you, like, never get a runny nose.

Yeah.

The mucus membranes are the part of your brain that makes you, like, remember

mucus.

So, like, if you have them removed, you'll just forget to blow your nose all

time.

That would be pretty cool.

Let's go get the pliers and remove our mucus membranes.

The good news about rabies is that treating it no longer means a series of

painful injections into the solar plexus.

New vaccines require only five simple shots in the arm.

Hey, Beaver.

How come that stupid doctor didn't know that?

Maybe he doesn't watch TV.

Rod Munch, huh?

Whoa, that's cool.

I can do that.

Come on, buddy, you do that all the time.

Pizza,

pizza? That's what he said, buddy. He said pizza, pizza.

Oh, yeah.

These guys are cool because they're, like, pissed off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're cool because they're, like, pissed off.

Damn it, Beavis. How come you always repeat everything I say?

Why do you do that?

Yeah, hey, why do you do that?

Beavis, do you repeat what I say one more time or I'm going to kick your ass.

I'm going to kick your ass.

You did it again, Beavis. You did it again, Beavis.

I

like

band grease.

Creaming is cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Rock on, Viva.