Original subtitles

Thank

you.

What do you want to do now?

Uh, I don't know.

Take a whiz?

Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

Drain my liver.

Take a wather.

Yeah. Tap a kidney.

Urinate.

Yeah.

Hey, butthead.

I forgot how to do it.

Don't be a butt wipe, Beavis.

You just, uh... You just, uh... Now I forgot.

Take it, take it, take it.

Come on and take it, take it.

Come on, B, let's just check it out. I think this is one of those, like, coffee

commercials.

Best fun waking up.

Remember that cafe in Paris?

Yeah.

John Pierre.

Yeah, real good.

Well, snakes are cool. Yeah.

I've got a good feeling about this video.

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Yeah. Yeah. This guy rules.

Yeah. This guy rocks. He rocks.

I got a wiggle dick, mama.

I got a wiggle dick.

Well, don't wiggle it here.

This guy has, like, a really cool jacket.

And, like, there's snakes, and it rocks, and it's like, it's like it's just

cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Never cool.

Yeah,

yeah, get him, get him in the butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get him, get him, get

in the butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Settle down, Beavis.

Did I mention that this was cool?

Um, I don't think so.

Okay,

the test covers the first three chapters. Plus, you'll be responsible

sections on ratios and decimals. Any questions?

Uh, yeah.

Can you tell us how to urinate?

You forgot?

How do you forget something like that?

You just... First you... Hey, butthead. He

forgot too.

It doesn't hurt till the second day, dude.

Get me buzz cut.

Okay, boys. I'm gonna make this easy. On the count of one.

Unzip your pants.

And one, unzip your pants.

On the count of two, take out your penises.

Two, my favorite.

And two, on the count of three, start leaking.

Three, let's go.

Leak, leak, leak, leak, leak.

Okay, you wussies.

You're going to stand right there until you get it right. And don't come out

until you're done.

Hey, Beavis.

We're like in school holding our wieners.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Stay tuned for Beavis and Butthead with

more magical moments.

Dr. Kravitz, you have a visitor in the main lobby.

Okay, it's been two weeks since you've urinated.

And you just forgot how?

Hmm.

I don't think there's a blockage.

Hey, Beavis.

She's thinking about her wiener.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to try something.

Now, just relax and clear your mind of any thought.

What does that mean?

Close your eyes and imagine you're floating on a river.

Let the water take you wherever it wants to. Just relax and go with the flow.

Hey, butthead, I can feel it.

Yeah, me too.

And the water is warm.

Okay, not here. Stop. Stop it. Stop urinating.

Stop urinating. I forgot how to stop.

Yeah. Just relax.

Go with the flow. Stop it. Stop it.

Is this Predator?

I think this is Mortal Kombat.

Yeah, yeah, they're gonna pull that guy's spine out.

Yeah.

Maybe these are like those gathered storm goggles.

Yeah, cool.

The mother of all wars has begun.

It's coming to town.

You're pretty cool sometimes, Beavis.

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

Hey, boy, remember when we taught that thing on TV about that dude in this band

who, like, married that chick?

Oh, yeah.

He married his son's daughter, and then, like, his son married his mom?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And so, like, so, like, the, uh, like, like, like, his son was, like, a, a

His own son was, like, his stepdad.

And then, like, his mom was actually a slut.

Yeah.

She's a slut.

And then, like, it turned out that that dude was only 16.

Yeah.

One.

Two.

Three.

Urinating is cool.

Hey, what happened?

Do dogs urinate?

See this? You still weed. Of course they urinate.

Why do you think they lift their legs?

Yes! Yes!

Rock!

Roll. Yeah.

They can just, like, play that first part through the whole song.

Yeah.

Roll. Roll.

What

the

hell is this?

Why are they playing way the hell out in the middle of nowhere?

I think this is like Bosnia, Herzegovina.

Really? They need like a big mall.

Yeah.

Then it would be cool.

What are those guys on the horse?

They're like a desert cop.

They're kicking flair out of the desert.

Yeah, they're playing too loud.

Not loud enough, dude.

Hey,

Vito,

check it out. The thing.

The big triangular.

What? I don't know.

Remember, like, in that movie that Moses dude built him?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He built him, like, a long time ago. Like, ancient.

Yeah.

It was, like, in the 50s. Yeah, yeah.

And then he, like, went and wrote the ten condiments.

Oh, yeah.

Thou shalt not fuck.